Americans got to see Hillary Clinton and donald trump debate at the same time. But, more importantly, it was the first chance americans got to mute both of them at the same time. [ laughter and applause ] just press one button and thats it. You dont hear them. Steve mute. Jimmy the debate was actually split into several themes. Americas direction, americas prosperity, americas security, and then strangely americas ninja warrior. Steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy good luck getting over that wall. Very tall wall. Tonights debate was shown on almost every channel, including nbc, abc, fox, cbs, cnn, univision and cspan. When he heard how many tv channels hed be on at once donald trump actually tried to stay home and watch. [ laughter and applause ] he was like, ive never been more popular. This is unusual. There actually werent any commercials during tonights the sponsors before it started. And i think they had a pretty good idea of what people would want to buy after it was over. Check it out. Tonights debate is brought to you by jack daniels, budweiser, johnnie walker, coors, miller lite, sam adams, guinness, grey goose, toilet wine, mad dog 2020 and finally canada. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy mad dog. There was actually 1,000 people in the audience tonight and they were instructed not to applaud or cheer during the debate. As people watching were like, what about sobbing . [ light laughter ] can we quietly sob . In addition to costumes, they also banned balloons and drones. Which, explains why trump uninvited Chris Christie and ben carson. [ laughter and applause ] steve what . What . Jimmy didnt explain that steve thats not true. Thats not true. Jimmy im sorry, rules are rules. [ laughter ] their views of the election. In an interview with rolling stone, Bruce Springsteen called trump a moron. Which, is why now trumps starting a rumor that springsteen wasnt really born in the usa. [ laughter and applause ] let me see your birth certificate. This is a crazy story. A man in florida is in jail after he was spotted riding a a manatee and dared cops to arrest him. Maybe just me but if you dare cops to arrest you, try to be on a faster animal than a a manatee. [ cheers and applause ] youll never catch me on my get away turtle come on, coppers try and get me. And finally, i thought this was very cool. Someone online recently posted a wedding photo from the 60s and pointed out that their dad looks a lot like matt damon. Lets see what you guys think. I guess it looks a little bit like him, right . Can we pull out so we can see the bride . Oh, she looks like somebody too. She looks like somebody. We have a great show tonight [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Jimmy hey, everybody it is monday. We are so happy to be back. And weve got a big week of shows coming up. Tomorrow night, the lovely kate hudson will be here. [ cheers and applause ] then later this week, rg we have Vice President joe biden will be here. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and nathan lane will be here as well. We always love him on the show. We have great musical performances from de la soul and sting. [ cheers and applause ] not together. Not together. Separately. De la soul one night, sting the other. Yeah. I think. Or, who knows, if hes in town. Steve de la sting. Jimmy de la sting, man. But first, joining us tonight, hes one of my favorite actors who stars in the big new movie from director tim burton called miss peregrines home for peculiar children. The one and only, samuel l. Jackson is here. [ cheers and applause ] samuel l. Jackson i feel like i have to yell when he is here you have to yell [ cheers and applause ] sam and i samuel l. Jackson and i are going to talk about the movie. Then were going to play a big game called truth or door. You see the rules of that game. Also joining us tonight for the first time. So happy shes been on our show. We were dying to have her on. Shes in the movie deepwater horizon, Gina Rodriguez is here. [ cheers and applause ] shes fantastic. Then we have great music tonight. Questlove yes. Jimmy you told me about this band. Questlove yeah, man. Yeah. Jimmy questlove sent me this link. Where did you see them . In brooklyn . Questlove southern california. Jimmy in california. Questlove back when they were 15. Jimmy how old are they now, 16 . Questlove theyre 17. Theyre 17 now. Jimmy these kids are unbelievable. Quest sent me this link. He goes, check out these dudes. Theyre called the lemon twigs and but, we couldnt have them on because they had nothing to promote. They werent signed or anything. We dont have anything. We were just a band. Theyre so different. I dont kn h questlove theyre like if you take the beach boys pet sounds and sgt. Peppers by the beatles and maybe odyssey and oracle by the zombies and filter it through a bunch of 15yearold kids, thats what this is. Jimmy i thought it was great. Come on. Odyssey and oracle. [ cheers and applause ] odyssey and oracle. Just use that reference. And the lead singer and the drummer are brothers. Questlove theyre brothers, yeah. Jimmy theyre brothers from long island. Questlove yeah. Jimmy and theyre [ cheers ] yeah. Its so different and cool and fun. But, turn up your tvs and press record right now so you can watch and get to learn and love the lemon twigs. Theyre on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] that is hilarious. Lemon twigs do hollywood. Yeah. Look at that. Theyre rad. Come on. Guys, whenever i get some down time here at the show, i like to go on instagram and scroll through all the photos. Steve really . Jimmy one thing ive noticed is that a lot of times, two people will write the exact same captions but the pictures they post will be completely different. Ill show you what i mean in this next segment. Its we call picture this. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] . Picture this picture this picture this yeah picture this . Jimmy lets take a look at this first example from apple and samsung. They both wrote, we include this with every phone, free of charge. Apple posted a picture of headphones. Samsung posted a picture of a a fire extinguisher. Steve oh, wow. Jimmy do you understand . Steve i think. Jimmy do you understand the bit . Steve no. Jimmy ill give you another example. Steve okay. Good cause i dont get it. Jimmy the next one is from Benjamin Moore and home depot. They both wrote, cant get any whiter than this. Steve thats what they wrote. Jimmy dont beat me to the joke. Dont hear the punchline already. Heres they both wrote that, right . Sve jimmy that is correct. Benjamin moore posted a picture of the new bleach white paint. Home depot posted a picture of rick perry on dancing with the stars. Do you understand the steve i dont see why home depot would post that. I dont get it. But do another one. Im slow. Jimmy ill give you one more example. Steve okay, good please. Jimmy this one is from Stephen Hawking and the dalai lama. Steve okay. Jimmy they both wrote, some questions are forever unanswerable, like why does this exist . Stephen hawking posts a picture dalai lama posted a picture of the tv show rob and chyna. Thats what the dalai lama posted. Steve dalai lama posted that. Jimmy that is correct. Let me give you another example. Steve okay, please do. Jimmy heres a caption from uber. Steve uber, the car people. [ laughter ] jimmy yes. The car people. Steve right . Jimmy yeah, you still work for websters dictionary right . Steve i do. I do, i do. But, with the tv show webster. Jimmy yeah. Well, this is dictionary. Now, heres ca uber. Steve uber. Jimmy and Chris Christie. They both wrote, this technological breakthrough will change everything. Uber posted a picture of their new selfdriving car. Chris christie posted a picture of the hamburger hot dog hybrid, the ham dog. The ham dog. Steve ham dog. Its a hamburger and a hot dog. Jimmy i dont think its going to take off. Steve whats that . Jimmy i dont think the ham dog will take off. I do have a good idea though. Steve whats that . Jimmy for ihop. Steve what is it . Jimmy the pancake people. Steve the International House of pancakes. Jimmy yeah, thats correct. Yeah. You can do a right now im just gonna call it the panwaffle. Steve panwaffle. Jimmy well the outside is pancake. And the inside is waffle. Steve so its like batter coated waffle . Jimmy i havent gotten to that part yet but i think its the same batter. Steve but you make a waffle crispy. Then you take syrup, fill it in the thing, dip that in pancake batter. Jimmy no, no, no. Thats a totally different invention. Steve like uber . Jimmy you got to call the cast iron people and you have them build a new pan. Steve they build a brand new pan. The lodge people build a brand new pan. Jimmy the lodge family. Steve yeah, the lodge family. Jimmy and what you do is either make might be one of those flippable pans. Steve right, like you do with the thing. Jimmy like a waffle thing. But, whatever it is you pour the batter in, it goes the middle part is like waffle. Jimmy like does that remind you of waffles . Steve always. First thing i think of is waffles. Jimmy yeah. Steve thats waffles. I dont think of holding something. Jimmy so its a waffle iron. Steve cough. Turn your head and cough. Jimmy im not doing that. [ laughter ] steve waffle. Jimmy they make you cough . Steve yeah. Jimmy like a dry batter. Steve yeah, dry batter. Jimmy no, no. And so you pour it in, you get that crispy waffle, you know, nook and cranny. Yeah. Jimmy and then the outside is flat pancake. What the dutch call panacake. Steve panacook. Yeah, yeah. A dutch word for pancake. Jimmy yeah. So you got panwaffle and its going to put ihop back. [ applause ] theyre probably already they dont need my help. Its a giant chain. Aynways. Steve rooting tooting fresh and fruity. Jimmy thats what i think of when i got home. Steve yeah, god bless them. The International House. Were doing. Steve good, cause i dont know what youre talking about. Jimmy heres a caption from Chelsea Clinton and ivanka trump. They both wrote, as the first family, we will work every day to make sure we protect them. Chelsea clinton posted a a picture of a group of children. And ivanka trump posted a a picture of her dads tax returns. Steve oh, i see now. Jimmy the quote is the same but the photos are different. Hes starting to get it. Steve i think im starting to get it. Jimmy all right. This next one is another example. This is from bill clinton and Hillary Clinton. Steve okay, bill and Hillary Clinton. Jimmy they both wrote, i just dont understand how you connect with one of these. Of apples new wireless airpods. Hillary clinton posted a a picture of a person. [ laughter ] you see what im saying . [ applause ] steve i hope you have one more. Jimmy i have one more. Steve okay, good. Jimmy this one is from best buy and radio shack. Steve best buy and radio shack. Jimmy they both wrote, get the new iphone 7 here. Best buy posted a picture of a a best buy. Radio shack posted a picture of a best buy. There you go. Thats all the time we have for picture this. [ cheers and applause ] . . With my moderate to severe ulcerative colitis, the possibility of a flare was almost always on my mind. Thinking about what to avoid, where to go. And how to deal with my uc. To me, that was normal. Until i talked to my doctor. People like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, e an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, control is possible. If youre searching other travel sites to find a better price. Stop clicking around. The lowest prices on our hotels are always at hilton. Com. Im really good at war. I love war in a certain way. Including with nukes. I know more about isis than the generals do, believe me. Nuclear, just the power the devastation, is very important to me. I want to be unpredictable, unpredictable, unpredictable, unpredictable. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i didnt have a a chance to explain it, so im just going to draw a picture of it. This is the middle the middle would be waffle surrounded by an outer ring of pancake. [ laughter ] that is the panwaffle [ cheers and applause ] no ones gonna make this. We are joined right now by one of the biggest movie stars on the planet. Academyaward nominee, and starting this friday, youll see him in the highly anticipated new movie directed by the great tim burton called, miss peregrines home for peculiar children. Please welcome back to the show, a talented man. Here is samuel l. Jackson . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh oh always, always, always a a pleasure to have you on the show. We love you so much. Thank you. Now, i watched terry crews come out last week, and said, okay, i cant do that. [ laughter ] jimmy i mean, he did that all right. Need to find someone smoother for myself. Jimmy that was smooth as silk, man. Jimmy you look sharp as always. Thank you. Jimmy thank you for coming back. So, i have not waffle house . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy waffle house . [ cheers and applause ] i mean, ill do it. If they want to do it but i think theres no waffle house in new york city, is there . Yeah. Jimmy yeah. Theres no waffle house. Theres no cracker barrel. All the places that sell grits arent here. [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know. Do you think its something, or is it nothing . [ laughter ] dont dont answer. No. Jimmy no answer yet. You dont think its a thing. I wouldnt go with that. Keep reinventing yourself, you know . Id be more likely to go with the Chris Christie, you know, burger dog thing. Jimmy really . [ laughter ] you know, if i had to make a a choice between that and that, yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy so, the pan waffle versus the ham dog . Yeah. Jimmy i dont see it. I think the bun doesnt make any sense. I got to buy a whole new bun now. Chili ham dog, you know, i mean, you could, like, work on that ham dog and do things do it like slaw, chili, stuff, you know. Jimmy thats true. All you do is put syrup on a a waffle, and waffle pancake, you know jimmy rosc chicken and pan waffles. [ laughter ] thats the new thing. No. [ laughter ] jimmy its just not gonna work. Not having that. Jimmy hey, i want to ask you this because we always talk about golf when you come on the show. Oh, okay. Jimmy we just lost a a legend, Arnold Palmer. Yeah. Jimmy he passed away, and hes the coolest guy. Any kid who doesnt know who that is, you got to check him out. The kid doesnt know who that is, is a very young kid. Jimmy i know, exactly, yeah. He changed the game. I loved him. I loved him because he was so if he had a bad shot, he would throw his hat and stuff like that. Did you ever meet him . Jimmy i never got a chance to meet him. Oh, you never met him. I actually played a round with him at the bob hope. When i first started playing golf, you know, you would go through the bob hope, and every day, they would put you with different pro golfer. Jimmy oh, yeah. For, like, four days. And one day they put me with Arnold Palmer. I said, im with the king . Okay, cool. But, you know, we met, we laughed, we talked, we go out. We were playing, you know, the first green. Hes got, like, a 15foot putt, putts it, misses it, like, god [ bleep ] son b [ bleep ] and all the people around the green are like, its all right, king. [ laughter ] they were like, come on, king youre going to get it, baby they didnt even care, you know . Jimmy no. They were like, this is so awesome. Im like, okay, golfs my game. Jimmy right . If i can talk like that, im good. Jimmy and youre good at that. Im perfect now. And i actually chipped in off the green at some hole, and he was like, samuel great [ laughter ] jimmy from Arnold Palmer . I get a great from the jimmy i know youre a big sports fan, and i saw on instagram you posted this picture of a football game, university of louisville . Yeah. Jimmy and look at these two players are sitting on the bench, and this is what the camera shows. [ laughter ] was that unbelievable . Yeah. [ applause ] jimmy what a wide receiver and a a quarterback. Jimmy yeah, hes a great quarterback. Yeah, now, this kid might win the heisman trophy. Jimmy yeah, thats what theyre saying, right . But yeah, the wide receiver, quarterback. Because i have, you know, its kind of okay, serendipitous. Jimmy yeah, i thought that was ty yeah, i love that thing. Lets talk about the movie. Lets talk about hows tim burton, by the way . Awesome. Jimmy hes cool, right . You know, tim is one of those guys, i mean, first of all, i was shocked when i got the call. You know, it was one of those things where its i never read the script, i never heard of the book or anything else. And, out of nowhere, when were shooting the hateful eight, they go, you know tim burton wants you to come over and do his movie. Im like, what movie is that . miss peregrines home for peculiar children. im like, okay, let me read it, but fine. Before i even read it, it was like, all right, im in. Jimmy yeah, because of he doesnt call that many black people, so im [ laughter and applause ] jimmy yeah, anyway, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, im like, yeah, im down with that. Well, i read the book. Jimmy what is he like . I would say that hes probably just like the book, just imaginative and creative, and yeah, but you know whats crazy, though, because hes always in england, and hes doing these movies. You would tend to think, oh, this british dude, blah, blah, blah. Dudes from the valley. Jimmy oh, yeah. Yeah, i was just, you know it doesnt strike until thats right. Youre not british. Jimmy yeah. Youre, like, tim burton. All right, cool. Jimmy hes from california, yeah. Yeah, youre from cali. And like quentin, you know, hes very positive about what he wants to do, how he wants to do it. He gives you the outline and the tone, and goes, all right, you know, thats the coloring book. Fill in the colors. Jimmy mmhmm. So, he sent me this picture of the look that he wanted me to have, and i was like, wow, this is business. Thats kind of awesome. Could learn to talk with them in jimmy yeah. You know, and be able to enunciate and do stuff. Jimmy did you just walk around the house . No, i was shooting the hateful eight, so, between shots jimmy is that right . I would put the teeth on and mess with the people onset with the teeth. [ growling ] [ laughter ] so, they were having fun doing that. And man, when you do something for him and he likes it you know, quentin likes to quentin will just interrupt whatever youre doing. [ growling ] [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah