Used drugs through a new test they call hair analysis. Are you familiar with this . They said they can test your hair for the presence and see if youve been doing drugs. Imagine being convicted on a basis of your hair. More bad news for pete rose. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and todahe of don kings hair. [ laughter ] he was negative for drugs but they found a hunter squatting in there with a duck call. [ laughter ] [ applause ] okay. Tonight, mr. Tony randall, whom we weve not seen for quite a while is with us. [ applause ] one of the young ladies who stars in a very Innovative Television show called is lara flynn boyle. Lara is with us tonight. [ applause ] and andy and a gentleman i have not met. I have only seen a picture of what he is bringing tonight. Andy kaufman and he has im talking really big frogs. Have you seen that story . That he is entering in the calaveras frog jumping contest . Yeah. And they had a little controversy because he bred these frogs, i believe in the cameroon somewhere and these are im talking big frogs. [ laughter ] right here on our stage big frogs. I guess thats about it. And . Dont we have a visitor . We have a visitor. A visitor from the east. From the east. My goodness. What a lucky time you are [ applause ] [ music ] thank you. Thank you, doc. Doc severinsen and the great nbc orchestra. [ applause ] and now a person we have not seen in a long time, the famous visitor from the east. The all knowing, all telling, all omniscient, famous seer sage sayer and former driver for miss daisy, carnac the magnificent [ applause ] well, nice to see you again. Thank you. I hold in my hand, the envelope, can see these envelopes are hermetically sealed. Theyve been kept in a mayonnaise jar in a Station Wagon since noon today. And your mystical and borderline divine way will ascertain the answer having never before heard the question. Thank you, rover. Yes. [ laughter ] envelope number one. Hermetically sealed. Must have absolute silence. Often times, carnac gets that. [ laughter ] shouldve been called forwarding, not call answering. Yes. [ laughter ] [ the answer to this question sealed in here is milk and honey. Milk and honey. What will Michael Milken be hearing a lot of in jail . [ laughter ] and through the gums. Whats the worst place to attach your suspenders . [ laughter ] carnac, headed right into pakistani portapotty. [ laughter ] ding dong dell pushes in the well. [ laughter ] what won the grand prize this week on americas funniest home videos . [ laughter ] freddy explaining it to peter. [ laughter ] he understands. He understands. Where jimmy hoffa [ laughter ] ahh. [ laughter ] we have several more to go. [ laughter ] [ applause ] to hell in a hand basket. Whats the next place ernest should go . [ laughter ] [ applause ] hair trigger. Hair trigger. What did germans called roy rogers horse . Hmm. Little hand is on the seven. Describe an evening at snow whites house. [ laughter ] cest la vie. La vie. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the infinity. The infinity. Ah, shut up. [ laughter ] where does the needle stop on dom deluises bathroom scale . [ laughter ] [ applause ] buttercup. Name something worn by an athletic cow. [ laughter ] shell game. What do you call mutant ninja turtle foreplay . [ laughter ] the last envelope. [ applause ] yeah yeah a road, a chicken and an snl president. That should be feathered, and something that should be tarred and feathered. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] okay. My this young man has the center of a rather heated controversy for some time. His frogs will compete at the celebrated Calaveras County fair in jumping frog jubilee next week. Didnt mark twain write a story about this . Yes. Calaveras county . Hes from seattle, washington. Would you welcome andy kaufman. [ applause ] [ music ] [ cheers ] good god or something i mean, thats a real frog. Yes, it is. This is her ky. Her ky . Yeah, thats what we call him. This is her ky. Her ky is 8 1 2 pounds goliath frog. What kind of a frog . A goliath frog. Goliath, yep, i see what you mean. [ laughter ] is it hard to hold him like that . He seems comfortable. Thats how you hold a frog of that size. Support his weight. Huh . You support his weight like this. There are all different colors. Some of them are yellow and some of them are white. Some of them are black. Theyre all different. Ive seen pictures of them. But so youre sitting right here. Its also amazing to be out here with you. Yeah, well. [ laughter ] whats this controversy all about . This frog is because hes not raised in this country . Is that basically what it is . Well, they think theyre my frogs are too big. Oh, is there restrictions on what size frog well, the only rules of this contest is that the frog be 4 inches and that it be a frog. Well, thats a he certainly is 4 inches and its a frog. And its a frog and it certainly over how long is that frog all together . This frog well, the biggest ones jeez and they have never ever been seen in any zoo in anywhere in the world ever. Right. And i lived in cameroon for nine years right. And i saw one jump across the river. I knew about calaveras yeah. And in my mind i said, calaveras, here i come you got a winner there. And its my dream is close to coming to a reality. So why the controversy . Why didnt they want you to enter these frogs . Or some people first of all, they said that my frog would jump out into the audience and critically injure me of the spectators. [ laughter ] then they said that my frog would turn around and gobble up the competitors. [ laughter ] lets talk about that. Is that possible . My frogs are very shy and timid. They would never turn around in front of thousands of people, in the middle of the day and eat another frog. And eat another frog. It would never ever happen. Now, what does her ky eat . Well, frogs are opportunistic, theyll eat anything that walks by them in the night and the right circumstances. But what we feed them are mice we try to vary their diet. You ought to send these frogs in nevada. Arent they having trouble with an infestation of what they call mormon crickets. Have you heard about that . No. Yes. Theyre huge about 2 inches long. Yeah. They would do a good job with them, im sure. Yeah, so they finally relented and said it was all right. Yes, well what theyre doing is they have a jumping pad if you look at this and if you would, johnny, like to hold this not really. No i [ laughter ] well, you just hold him like this. Just hold him right behind there like that. Allht so you dont drop him. There you go. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this frog is disqualified. Apparently i just didnt have the right grip on him. I didnt want to maybe i grabbed him too tight. No. [ laughter ] if somebody grabbed me there id do that also. Im sorry about that. No, thats all right. Dont worry about that. This will come out of your check tonight. [ laughter ] [ applause ] but the thing is, is what their saying is that yeah. To have a starting pad, which is 8 inches in diameter right. And what theyre saying is i can jump my frogs to fit in the starting pad. So i do have some small ones that do. I see. And so the large ones they want me to jump every day for demonstration jump to see with guinness book of World Records to measure the worlds longest jump of a frog. My biggest frogs, they dont really fit on they dont fit on there. Not too much. You know, even if we push them in, they still dont fit so actually, what calaveras would like me to do is jump my smallest frogs. Ahh. You dont want to do that, of course. Well, i you know, for fair play and all that sort of thing somebody else was says they were worried that these frogs would get loose in this country is something i understand, they dont breed in this country. Well, these frogs die in theyre from the equator so they die in temperatures below 40 degrees. And its not found in anywhere here. Theres not such a thing as frogs steroids are there . No. People always nothing personal. No, no. People always ask me i didnt want to insinuate you were boosting the frogs. People always ask me if i did that. Yeah. If i do that. And no, theyre just the largest frogs in the world. They were first discovered by the early french explorers in the late 18th century. Yeah. But theyve never been in any zoo or any been kept alive ever before. And i understand what were going to do tonight were going to jump the fro off after this. Okay, its a jump off. Not a frog off. A jump off. [ laughter ] i brought it shouldve been Call Forwarding also. [ laughter ] [ applause ] call waiting. [ applause ] i brought you a little frog. I understand your brought me a normal frog. Yeah, i got it at calaveras so actually, its a really big bull frog. Okay, lets do this a commercial first and then well come back and see how this against a frog. The one i got. Okay. Stay where you are. Well be right back, folks. [ music ] [ applause ] okay, folks, here we are at the frog meet [ applause ] okay. Obviously, were in front of someones home here. Now, youve got her ky and you brought me a frog . Well, i brought you a frog that we caught at Calaveras County. Its a big bull frog. Okay. Should i give it to you . Yh, the first time weve met, folks, so who knows . This is the one youll be jumping. Well, good lord, this is nothing. [ laughter ] this is nothing although, he does look a little like jim bakker. [ laughter ] and this is the one ill be jumping. Does this seem fair, folks . [ laughter ] now, what are the we said that well, what we do, from the beginning of the first to the end of the third jump. So, if you want to you say the best of three jumps . They get one jump . One, two, three. Oh, three hops. And then we measure that distance and whoever goes the furthest distance in three jumps in the three jumps . Wins the contest. You cannot touch the frog once we put it down . Well, you can when its on the starting pad but you cant touch it once it makes the first jump. But you can encourage the frog . Absolutely. All right. And heres what were going to do. Have you had more frog . I havent the slightest idea. [ laughter ] do what you might add . Okay, i guess well do it on three. Three. Go, baby whoa hey ho [ laughter ] [ applause ] obviously, i won. He jumped somewhere in the studio. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think hes behind the box over there. This is fascinating. Good luck over in Calaveras County. Thank you very much. One more time . Okay. Was he doing something . He was hiding, yeah. Well just there, i mean yeah, he did something. Sure. When this guy does something its really something okay, one more time. Okay, here we go. Okay. Ha ho [ cheers ] [ applause ] thank you much andy kaufman well be right back. Stay with us. [ music ] all right. [ applause ] its been a while since weve seen my next guest. Im a big fan of his. Tony will be appearing on a night of 100 stars. Do we have the list of the other 99 . Thats way too long. [ laughter ] thats way too long. Oh, its on this network . Oh, its a great special. You should do four hours. Yeah. It airs right here on nbc a big three hour show. It will seem just like four [ laughter ] thats on may 21st. Would you welcome mr. Tony randall. [ music ] [ applause ] well, my my my. [ cheers ] it has been it has hello. Its been a passel of years, hasnt it . Since weve been together . Yes, almost. I dont know what a passel is its a midwest term. Passel is a little pass in a mountain. A passat. I thought that was a passat . [ laughter ] you know the guy told me who was out here . Mr. Kaufman a moment ago . He says, i met mr. Randall backstage and he knows about frogs. And i said, that does not surprise me, because you have a vast knowledge or a working knowledge of a lot of different subjects, dont you . Seriously. My knowledge of frogs is mainly culinary. Wow. [ laughter ] you know, a family of five could eat off one of those legs. [ laughter ] for a long time. A lot of people wont eat frogs. Im not a but i will. Im not a fan of frogs. You dont like it . Not really. They always say it tastes like chicken, right . Its always what people say. And chickens better. Is that true . So i eat chicken. Yeah. If something tastes like chicken, why should i eat a frog . [ laughter ] well, is that true . Yes if you like chicken, why fool around with a frog . Thats right. So. You have a well taken point well taken, its just a point. But, if its well taken or not well taken. Actually do you watch the commercials on your show . Yes, why . I dont believe you. I watch them if im watching the show at home. I dont normally watch them while were in the studio, here. No, youre busy. Extremely. Well, your first commercial tonight was the john deere commercial. Oh, yes. Yes. And i hadnt seen it this year. But the one last year do you remember it . [ laughter ] i usually get brought up to date on these things [ laughter ] in the john deere commercial. I just missed it this week. Yeah. What was it last year . You were on the grounds of a convent. Do you remember that . No. Yes. And the mother superior stood near the camera talking and the background, a nun was mowing the lawn and the mother superior said, since weve gotten this new john deere power mower, sister peaceful can mow the lawn in the time it used to take four men to do it. And then she would the sister in the back would drive up to the mother superior and say, mother superior, how long will this machine last . And the mother superior said, no man knows, only he does. [ laughter ] that was the commercial. You must be a very lonely person. [ laughter ] you know. To spend your time thats the truth. To spend your time just logging these memories in your and thats what you do at nights . You sit and look at commercials and then come up to somebody a year later and say, do you remember the john deere have you seen you have a very retentive mind, dont you . Only for commercials. Have you seen the metamucil one . [ laughter ] uh, guys oh yes yeah. Yeah, the lady sang, i want to get caught on the bus. Thats right and hope that it doesnt kick in booah yeah thats the one i meant [ laughter ] she says everything but that. Yeah. You know. Yeah. The guy says, what . Me take a laxative . Sure. And have it kick in on the bus . Not a pretty sight. Not a pretty sight. Imagine, on a crowded bus. Oh, yeah. Thats what theyre trying yeah. Thats what theyre trying to conjure up yeah, yeah. Im sure. And then one of them is a school teacher, hope it doesnt happen in class. Thats right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the advertisers prey on your fears. Thats right. Thats why they sell products. Thats right. Do you use a deodorant at all . Yes. Now, why do you use a deodorant . I dont know because i most people now, im going to just most people do not need to use an underarm deodorant if you bathe everyday regularly, normally, only a few people have that problem. Thats true. Oh, come on. You see . Youve been brainwashed. Thats right. Youve been brainwashed. Or arm washed. One of the two. [ applause ] thats true. If you bathe thats right. And then take normal hygienic procedures, its not necessary to use a deodorant. And some of us think that people smell better without it. [ cheers ] the smelly group up here what do you think . [ laughter ] this subject anyway . Has it been five years since youve been here . No. Oh, yes. What . No. A couple years. Five years. You know how many no, no, no. Somebody said it was 1985. Thats right. With you. That would be five years. I know you were here one night when i was ill. Yes. And you were here with jay, i believe. Do you know how many times ive been on . I would guess let me just take a little guess 50 . Ninetyfive. It only seems like 50. [ laughter ] is that right . Yeah. First, somebody told me it was 1965. Thats right. Was that the year you started . No, we started in 1962. No, i was on your first year. I think. Okay. I may be wrong. I may be wrong. No, youre probably right. No, no. You know these things. No, no. If you remember a john deere commercial a year ago [ laughter ] im not going to argue about the first year you were on the show. Got a new word for me tonight . Usually you come in you are what is a lover of words . What is is there a word for that . Who loves vocabulary . And the meaning of words . Yes, i suppose logophilia. I dont know. A little sapphire is a great whatever it is, you know. Oh, yes. Hes great. A marvelous column. I found a marvelous word for you. All right. If you you might be able to figure it out. But its a cruel commentary on the human race that this word is obsolete. Now, thats a clue, obviously, right. No. Is that the word, obsolete . No. Oh, i see. [ laughter ] damn i had that one. What is the word . Its easy to figure out what it means. Imbellious. Well, the prefix is im or em . Im. Meaning not possible not bellious. Bellicose . Thats right not warlike. Not warlike and that word is obsolete. Doesnt that hurt . Imbellious. Yeah. Yeah. Theres no need for that word in our civilization. Not warlike. Now, thats interesting. Yeah. Thank you. [ applause ] what else is happening . Did you figure it out . Welf yes. Sometimes, that helps. Yes, that is exactly right. Bellious sounds like bellicose. Yes or imbellic. Imbellic or imbellious. Or imbellicose, i suppose. Is there such a word . Umbellicose . Imbellicose. No. I see. You couldnt say imbellicose. I suppose you could. But youd be wrong. It wouldnt matter since its obsolete. Someone might mention, but it would be wrong. [ laughter ] too far back. You asked me once you got to be careful. You got to be careful. You never change. You know, you are remarkable. You always look the same. So do you. You never seem to age. No, i dont. [ laughter ] you mean you really dont age . No. Are you going to pull a dorian gray someday . And all of a sudden, just over night . No, i have no sense of it, whatsoever. You ask me what im up to. I thought you went into a seance or just for a moment. [ laughter ] well i knew you were going on broadway . I was on broadway. Not a madame butterfly. M. Butterfly. Oh, that closed but that was i understand you were marvelous. Well, thats not for me to say. [ laughter ] [ applause ] were you marvelous . I dont know. I really dont know. I do know that it was the best ive ever been. In my whole life. Well thats that does happen. An actor finds a role that just suits him. It just was but youve had Great Success in a lot of mediums. Radio. Mmhmmm. Mmhmmm. Theater and television. That in itself is a remarkable yes. How many people get to work all those different what is the word i want . Media venues . Did you work much in radio . No, i was a disc jockey, but i did not do the kind of stuff you did where you actually appeared on dramas and serial shows yes. And that type of thing. Playing various characters, no. Yeah. But those days are gone. You dont hear that stuff anymore. Although, some stations here in california will play from time to time, the early radio shows i know it. Late 30s and im on them and we dont get [ laughter ] well, i know those i was on a show called i love a mystery. I remember. And thats on all the time on these radio stations and do you get a kick out of listening to them though . No. No. Really . No, i never appreciate i just you dont live in the past, huh . No, not a bit. But in radio, there was a firm in new york named air features do you remember that . No, i do