No, maam. Im sorry. You have the wrong number. Its quite all right. Digit dialing. [ telephone rings ] hello . no, maam, i am sorry this is not the sunnydale rest home no, i dont mean im sorry its not. It isnt. Or is it . Three wrong numbers in a row . That was no lady. What are they up to . [ telephone rings ] hello . listen, if you ring this phone one more time, im oh, uh. Hello, larry. Im sorry i shouted at you. I thought you were my motherinlaw. Motherinlaw . Youre not afraid to talk like that to your motherinlaw . Darrin, if you were here, id get your autograph. Instead, i got some news for you. Uh, when . Well, in that case, maybe sam would oh. Well, of course, if they arent. Yeah. Oh, sure. Bye, lar. Breakfast is ready. Bad news. I resent you addressing me like that. If the shoe fits. Im warning you shoes can kick [ ding ] uh, what do you mean, bad news . Were going to honolulu. When . This afternoon. We are . Honolulu uh, sam and you call that bad news . Sam you didnt give me much time to brush up on my hula. Honey, its business. Thats marvelous. Its so much more fun on an expense account. Sam, youre not going. I cant take you. Oh. You said we. t take their wives, so i cant very well take you. Oh. It might get them in trouble with their own wives. Well, it certainly was an exciting trip while it lasted. Actually, i dont know what business it is of theirs whether i take my wife or not. Darrin, if you really wanted me to go, i could turn myself into a necktie and sort of hang around. No, thats out. Im not taking you along through witchcraft. All right. Thats settled. Now eat your breakfast. Oh, i wont have time. D pack. But, sweetheart, you have to eat something. Dont worry ill call the coffee shop and have them send me up some jelly donuts. [ ding ] oh, my [ chuckles ] hell never win an oscar for that performance. What do you mean, performance . Oh i wouldnt trust a mortal out of my spell for two seconds. Hes up to something. Oh, mother. You know, youre impossible very well. Well see how good he is at wishing. Ive given him three wishes to prove it. Mother, thats worse than reading somebody elses mail. Now youll know how threefaced mortals are. [ chuckling ] [ sighs ] betty, make eight copies of this, will you, please . Larry well, you certainly got down to the office early. Morning, betty. Good morning, mr. Stephens. I had to revise some estimates before the committee meeting. I hate to do financial work at home. Every time louise sees a dollar sign, she goes shopping. Mr. Stephens, i have your ticket for honolulu. Dont give it to him. Give it to me. [ sighs ] change of plans. The clients just called. It seems theyd rather have the head of the company with them. And thats me. Youre kidding. I wish i were. I had other plans. Man, did i have other plans. Well, id better call sam. She may have started packing already. Well. I wonder what hed like to take to honolulu. Toss a coin. Blonde or redhead. Oh, very funny. [ telephone rings ] hello . Oh, hi, sweetheart. I just got your suitcase out of the closet. Well, put it back in the closet. I dont have to go. You dont . The clients decided they want larry to go instead of me. [ chuckling ] oh, wonderful what is so funny . He doesnt have to go to honolulu. The clients changed their minds just like that. Hes not going. Oh, ho, ho, ho. Just like that, eh . Oh, mother, youre such a sore loser. Sweetheart, i have an idea. The suitcase gave it to me. Hold it, sweetheart. Dont get your hopes up. With larry gone, im going to have a lot of extra work. Starting with buffy baker. Uh, sam, i may be a little late for dinner tonight. You have to take her where . Oh, sure, sweetheart. Thats fine. Byebye. Goodbye, sweetheart. See you tonight. Has to take her where . Oh, mother, its purely routine. Oh, ho, ho, ho. Ill bet its routine. Darrins company is handling the advertising for the tropical bathing suit campaign. A her in a bathing suit. Oh now were getting to the heart of the first wish. Excuse me. Shes here. Buffy . Ask her to come in. Well, come in, come in, come in. Isnt she cute . I believe you know mr. Stephens. Oh, yes. I never forget a face. Easy, buffy. You all right . Oh. Oh, there you are. Im sorry, mr. Stephens, but the company asked me not to wear my glasses. Hello oh. Oh. [ all chuckling ] there you are. Oh. Buffy, ive been called out of town on business, so mr. Stephens will escort you to the luncheon and the cocktail party. Oh, how sweet of you. Hell make a little speech introducing you. And tomorrow the car will pick you up and take you to the airport. Remember, youve got a banquet in boston. I know, i know. Mr. Stephens will take wonderful care of you. My, how cozy that will be, wont it . [ chuckling ] [ clears throat ] hi, honey. Hi, sweetheart. Larry get off all right . Right on the button. Whats for dinner . Creamed chicken. Hmm. Oh, i thought you liked it. I had it for lunch. Im sorry. I can fix you Something Else. Oh, no. I love yours. Itll help me forget that stuff i had at the luncheon. I saw buffys bathingsuit ad in a magazine this afternoon. Is she really as pretty in person as she is in pictures . Oh, prettier. Uh, but up here nothing. Doesnt need anything up here. Well, pretty or not, im stuck with her. Im going to have to fly to boston to introduce her at a sales banquet. Boston . Mmhmm. My lousy luck. They liked my speech so much at the luncheon, they insisted i repeat it tomorrow in boston. Oh, how long will you be gone . Only a few hours, thanks to the jet age. I should be back in time for dinner, if you dont mind waiting till 9 00 or 10 00. I thought you said it was a banquet. Ive had my last forkful of creamed chicken. Im not going to eat i mean banquet creamed chicken. You dont have to explain. I want to be back in time to have dinner with you. Ooh, id better call buffy at the hotel. Larry told me to keep close tabs on her. She cant remember what city shes in. [ ding ] wish number two buffy in boston. Oh, hello, mother. I thought you were in the casbah. I was, but i wouldnt miss this for the world. Youre wasting your time. [ chuckles ] darrin samantha yes, sweetheart . I want to wear it on the plane. Yes, its in the closet. Dinner jacket how positively gala. Hes not eating there. Hes coming home to have dinner with me. Oh, maybe he will and maybe he wont. [ telephone rings ] hello . Hello . Oh, hi, sweetheart. Where are you . Ston . [ ding ] ha bbut, darrin, you said that why cant you get a plane . Didnt you make a reservation . [ hums chopins funeral march ] shh oh, but, sweetheart, thats absurd. Why arent the planes taking off . Honey, boston has been hit by a sudden snowstorm. A snowstorm . Why, its so warm and balmy here, we were gonna have dinner on the patio. Bostons been hit by a freak snowstorm. A freak snowstorm. And all the flights are canceled. Hmm . Oh, no, honey. Im all right. I have a room right here at the hotel. Yes, the same one where they had the banquet. Its pretty full because of the convention, but i managed to get a room. Now, dont worry. Im perfectly all right. Ill see you as soon as i can get a plane out of here. All right, sweetheart. Byebye. [ sighs ] well, you want to stay for dinner . What are we eating, crow . [ knock on door ] hi. Hi. Can i come in . Yes, uh, certainly. Mainly, i wanted to get away from all those jokes in the lobby. The snowstorm coming in to cool things off. You were supposed to be flying to chicago, werent you . The planes arent taking off. I know. The hotels full, and i cant get a room. Some of the gentlemen were kind enough to offer, but never mind. Uh, you can have this room. Ill go out to the airport and wait for the first flight out. Oh, i wouldnt feel right putting you out of here. Well, i wouldnt feel right staying. Have a wonderful tour. Byebye. [ chiming ] [ chiming stops ] i didnt say anything. Well, i just said i didnt say anything. Then may i say how happy i am that you are not saying anything . [ doorbell rings ] thats darrin. Oh, he couldnt get back from boston that fast. He was fooling me calling me from the airport. I knew it all the time. Hi. Telegram for mr. Stephens. Oh [ ding ] what is it . Oh, a telegram for darrin from honolulu. Probably from larry. Perhaps youd better call him in boston. [ telephone rings ] hello . Hello . Oh, im sorry. There must be some mistake. I wanted mr. Stephens room. This is mr. Stephens room. Oh, im sorry. He isnt here. Um, could you tell me where i could reach mr. Stephens . No, im sorry. I dont know where he is right now. But, if youll only pardon me, i am dead. [ yawns ] hi, honey. Would you believe it . It took until this afternoon to get a plane out. Ooh. If you ever want to ruin your back, just try sleeping on one of those airport benches. Age the bums. Hi, honey. I dont blame you for not wanting to be kissed. I havent shaved. Hey, i got good news for you. My speech got more laughs in boston than it did here. All in all, i think the trip was worth it. Ow watch it, honey. You know, ive only been to boston three times. I like it more each time i go. Sam, i may be mistaken, but i think that maybe youre peeved about something. Did anything happen while i was gone . Well, i certainly couldnt have done anything. Did i . Did i . Sam, i asked you a question. Did i . Sam, youre going to stay right here and talk to me. [ ding ] samantha sam, where are you . Wherever you are. Now, listen to me, sam samantha im going home to mother. What do you mean, going home to mother . Your mothers always here. Sam. Sam, where are you . Now, put that down let let go well, you told me to let go. Sam, now, cut this out i want to see you immediately samantha, youre my wife, mand that you appear before me where do you think youre going . Youre not leaving this house she couldnt. Sam. Sam, please wait please wait all right. Go ahead tal, i couldnt stop you but in all fairness, dont you think im entitled to know why . The very least you could do is tell me why very well. Mother warned me about you and that model, but i didnt believe her. Me interested in buffy . I couldnt see her in a million years. She cant see me without her glasses. [ chuckles ] no. Without your knowledge, mother gave you three wishes to prove what was on your mind. Well, you proved it, all right. What did i prove . Your first wish was that you didnt have to go to honolulu so you could look after that model instead. That wasnt a wish. That was wished onto me by larry. Then you wished that you could go to boston with her. Then you wished up that freak snowstorm so that youd have an excuse not to come home. Thats what you think . Thats what i know. I called your hotel room last night. D. She didnt have a place to stay so i gave her my room, and i slept at the airport now you know why im leaving. Goodbye. Oh, wait i think weve covered the matter. Your mother gave me three wishes, and i used them the way you said . You did. Watch this. Three wishes, huh . Stand back. Uh, wish number one here why, darwin, i had no idea you were so fond of me there. There, you see . I wouldnt have been able to do that if id used those three wishes on buffy, would i . You interrupted me at a party, you silly boy. And i was getting along so famously with the prime minister. Oh, darrin, i quiet, both of you i havent finished yet. You gave me those three wishes y help from you you are so right mortals have a talent for it. But as long as ive got them, im going to wish something that ive been wishing ever since i met you. What is it . Wish number two i wish that you would stay out of our lives fore darrin, no for. One week wish number three darrin, never mind the third wish. [ snaps fingers ] [ ding ] its on the house. Sweetheart . Darrin . [ grunts ] darrin . [ tinkles ] good night, sweetheart. Mmm, feeling better . Much. After spending last night in an airport in a snowstorm, thats just what i needed a good, hot shower. I wish i could take another. [ water running ] oh, we forgot. You had one more wish left. [ chuckles ] hi, sweetheart hi, honey. Oh, is something the matter . Yeah. Larry and i ran into an important client today, and i couldnt remember the mans name. And he knew it. That happens to everyone once in a while. Its natural. Well, its been happening too often, im going to do something about it. In fact, i already have. I bought this book. I read the first two chapters on the train. Its fascinating. Oh instant memory can be yours. Thats nice. You start your homework. Ill start dinner. Chapter three. [ ding ] ah, testing your memory, dear . Do you remember me . I wouldnt mind forgetting you, endora. A perfect memory thats ridiculous. Whats so ridiculous about it . Well, the ability to forget is very important to you mortals. You do so many stupid things, a perfect memory would be impossible to live with. Is that so . Total recall can only be handled by a strong, mature mind. Dawson . It leaves me wishing that you would mind your own business. Excuse me if i ignore you. [ chuckling ] so you want a perfect memory, huh . [ ding ] [ ding ] cynthia samantha who . Velous . Wonderful ii my memorys working. I remember a lot of things about him. He loves beethoven, hates wagner. He raises parakeets. Hes got three children mark, age 14, sylvia, age 11, and a little 3yearold named willie fascinating. Yes, isnt it . And i only just began the third chapter. Good morning, sweetheart. Mmm hi. Hey, hot cakes and blueberries mmhmm. Thought id give you something different. Oh, its not different. You fixed them once before. No, i dont think so. It was, uh, september the 14th, raining, saturday. You were wearing the yellow dress with the white polka dots. Oh, that yellow dress. I wonder what ever happened to it. Mrs. Dumont for the rummage sale. Thats right. I did. That was the same rummage sale that you whipped up that enormous chocolate cake for. How about forgetting it, hmm . Ill drop the subject. But ill never forget it. [ intercom buzzes ] yeah, larry . Larry darrin, mr. Pennybaker is here. Ud mind coming in. My pleasure. And every parakeet or budgie, as we call them that ive got, ive practically handraised from an egg. How about that . Your average bird isnt very intelligent, you know. But those little budgies oh, ed, i dont know whether you remember Darrin Stephens or not. Oh, yes, yes, i remember stephens, how are you . Fine, fine. Thank you. And how are the children mark and sylvia, your little threeyearold, willie . Well, theyre just fine. And, uh. Call me ed. Well, thank you, ed. Ed was just telling me some fascinating things about his parakeets. Yes. Ive got a bird that picks up a new word every week. Theres no telling how far that bird can go. I remember reading in the Dentists Office about a budgerigar or a budgie, as theyre called owned by an english woman. That bird knew 12 Nursery Rhymes by heart and had a vocabulary of over 300 words. I know about that bird. I didnt know you were a budgie man. Im not, im not. I just remember reading about it in the Dentists Office. Oh. The bird was called sandy and was owned by mrs. Irene pauls of staines, in middlesex. Yes, yes. Beautiful country middlesex. You know, i drove through there but that would be the midlands, not middlesex. Thank you very much, stephens. Well, do you suppose its possible to do a little constructive work around here . Oh, sure, ed. Sure thats no good. Mnhmnh. Wait a minute. Now, heres something i like simple, plain. Oh, excuse me, ed, but, um, if memory serves me, the baroque period in art was highly ornamental. It followed the renaissance and found its extreme expression in the rococo. What are you doing, taking extension courses in everything . Knock it off, will you, darrin . Sorry, larry. Just popped into my mind. Art 101. Professor eckhart. Monday, wednesday, and friday at 10 00. I got a bminus. He had a goodlooking daughter. Darrin, youre flunking sorry. Uh, sorry, ed. Here we are. Well, ill tell you something i discovered about larry. He doesnt like for me to charge things. Hed rather give me the cash it seems to give him a sense of power and of being charitable to me. Very interesting. Louise. How are you, dear . I know what you want. Just tell me how much. Oh, this is mr. Pennybaker, our favorite client. How do you do . Darrin was telling me about you last night. I hear you have three wonderful children. Oh, yes, i do, indeed. And, you know, its a pleasure working with your husband. Will this be enough, darling . Without looking, no. Mr. Pennybaker, if you and your wife arent busy, why dont you join us for dinner tonight . Well, that would be fine. Oh, good, good. Samantha, well expect you and darrin, too. Just a minute. I believe its our turn. At all. You still have a rain check from that thursday a month before last when we invited you and you didnt show up. Mr. Pennybaker, in case youre wondering where youre going to have dinner tonight, itll be at our house, all right, louise . Anything, but lets go shopping. Yes, well, i think id better go, too. Ill walk you ladies out. You know, not too long ago, a dispute like this could have ended on the dueling field. Everything according to the code duello. Ladies, you probably dont know this, esting history. Now, you take the age of chivalry. A gentleman in those days. Pleased with yourself . Well, im sorry, larry. But youve been bugging me about my memory. Ive been trying to improve it. I know ed pennybaker. He considers himself an authority on everything. He likes to be on i didnt notice. That i did remember every detail of his account. Yes. Yes. Now i wish you would go to your office and practice a little forgetting. I cant. Thats the wonderful thing. I cant. And, larry, i want to thank you for insisting that i improve my memory. Oh let me guess. [ deep voice ] go ahead. The milkman . Right. How bout payin your bill, lady . There. Wheres my change . Oh, darrin, theyre lovely whats the occasion . Oh. How very thoughtful of you. I was remembering how nice it was making up afterwards. Yes, that was nice. Thank you. I remember i took you to dinner, the theater, and dancing afterward. Oh, yes. You were so charming and gallant. Remember the funny little waiter with the toupee . You were very romantic, too. And the bandleader who was smashed out of his skull . No, but i remember how sweet you were oh, honey, you must remember him. They had him propped up between two music stands. It was the night we had the fight. It all started i cant even remember what the fight was about. I can. It was the time you were going to meet me outside my Office Building and you were waiting at the wrong entrance, which left me standing for one solid hour in the pouring rain. You do remember that, dont you . Oh, for heavens sakes. Why did you go to the Side Entrance . I was waiting there because you asked me to meet you there. Why would i do a thing like that . You made a mistake. You were just too wet and irritable to admit it. It was for your convenience that i was there you were doing some shopping in that dress store on the side street thats ridiculous, darrin. That shop never had anything i wanted. For your information, that was the day and the place where you bought that yellow dress that you gave to the Rummage Committee along with that chocolate cake that you whipped up there, you see . You always say that whenever im right, and im right, arent i . All right. Youre right. Here. Take your raggedy old flowers and press them in your dumb, old instantmemory book well if its wrong