Y23aoy yi0y im roy cooper, and you deserve the truth about the crime lab. When i became attorney general, we discovered a backlog of more than 5,000 dna test kits and years worth of shoddy investigations. But what governor mccrory isnt telling you is that we cleared the backlog. We also solved over 2,000 crimes we have good news. A very successful blood drive today all thanks to you. The red cross collected 136 pints today. That is awesome and includes 62 firsttime donors. We talk a lot about td eight and these are grillers. And we make them at johnsonville. Theyve got way more flavor than ordinary burgers. Flavors like bacon and cheddar and steakhouse onion. People who try em, love em. Because theyre burgers. Made the johnsonville way. Im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message. Theres a race going on right now. The worlds clean energy super powers either going to be germany, china, or us. Nd of my first term, to precision manufacturing. Well beat the competition and create new high wage jobs. We can do this, millions of jobs right here in america. Captioning sponsored by cbs thank you, caroline. Glen, i want more jokes, please. Hey, matt, i want the cat to but hes a cat. Happy cat doublespace, please. Excuse me, guys, i love the so song. Up tempo. Thank you. Burrito. [ sirens ] every day, ugh. How can i help you, officer . License and registration. I have to do my show now, sir. License and registration. Okiedeoke, let me just tonight john krasinski. And now from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert. [ cheers and applause ] stephen thank you so much. Whew. Whew. Thanks, ladies and gentlemen. That feels good. Haha. Yes. Thanks very much. All right. All right. Have a good night. Hey, welcome to the show, everybody. Welcome to the late show. Good to see you. How is everybody feeling tonight all right . [ cheers and applause ] all righty. Me, too. Me, too. I feel good. Being me. Im Stephen Colbert and as we know, you guys have been watching the news, the first president ial debate is now less than one month away and apparently the candidates have two very different ways of preparing. [ laughter ] Hillary Clinton pores over briefing books, thick with policy arcana and opposition research. She rehearses over and over again to perfect the pacing and substance of her presentation. Of course, you know shes the uh, ill answer your question, mr. Moderator, but may i point out, you forgot to give us any homework today. Meanwhile, donald trump is all about spectacle. One former aid said trump wants to be a showstopper in the roman coliseum, the main event at wrestlemania. Which makes sense since just like pro wrestling, you look at Trumps Campaign and say thats got to be fake [ laughter ] now politicians, sarah palin. [ laughter ] mrs. Palin just posted on facebook that she tripped and fell while doing something called rockrunning. Not sure what rockrunning is, but i think its when you jog while playing air guitar, and whew. And whew. [ guitar music ] [ laughter ] you just found out the entire band is preregard recorded every night. Prerecorded every night. Theyre standing there doing that every time. Listen to what happened. Palin fell and hit her head on a rock. Dont worry, shes ok or, you know, the same. And the proof that sarah palin somehow turned her own head injury into an attack on Hillary Clinton. This is her actual post on facebook. Leave hillary alone, bullies. Aww, cmon guys, give her a break, anyone could be out of commission for weeks on end whilst in the heat of battle for the highest office in the land. Heck, even those of us claiming to be fit as a seasoned . Fiddle hit bumps in the wellness i remember pipers middle name is grace mine isnt rockrunning recently. I tripped over my own two feet and crashed and burned facefirst. Glad for hillarys protective medias precedence. Next woman running for potus has no need to answer to much of anything. For weve got weddings to plan and downdogs to do and cookies in the oven. Just leave us alone, boys. Now i would chalk that up to head trauma, if it doesnt sound like e any way, she is injured. Now, id like to wish sarah palin a speedy recovery and would like to do it in a language shied understand so first shed understand so first, governor palin, i hope you rest up there, heck, what with the rockruning and the stone sciping and the boulder bingo, remember my middle name is tyrone with the media coverup of the danger zone and everybodys cutting footloose, Loosey Goosey good for the the downdog wedding. Oh the cookies are pred ready, hey, track. Trig. Trigtrack, break up your mammas back. Why . Because our veterans drill, baby, drill. Try our mozzarella sticks, ask me about free shipping. God bless it. So just leave us alone, voices. [ applause ] the election itself is just 70 days away and theres some shockings change everything. For more, lets go to my colleague wolf blitzer at the late show news desk. Woolf . Breaking news were following. Were learning that hackers have breached databases for election systems in illinois and arizona with the personal data of as many as 200,000 registered voters has apparently been compromised. Stephen i cant believe our election has been hacked i mean, election rolls are always guarded by our most fortunately, thank you for your service fortunately the f. B. I. Knows whos responsible for this haq. U. S. Intelligence officials are telling nbc news that Russian Hackers were behind two recent attempts to breach state Voter Registration systems. The breachs are fueling concerns that the russian government may be trying to interfere with the u. S. President ial election. Stephen folks, we cannot let the russians mess with president ial elections. Next will s like the voice. The illinois election boys say they dont expect a hack to affect the integrity of the election. Im here to reassure america that everythings under control. Please welcome the chairman of the illinois board of elections. Sir, thank you so much for joining us. Hello . I am illinois chairman johnny cowboy. Stephen thank you for being here, chairman cowboy. Now, your state was recently hacked. How are things going over there . Oh, everything is hunkeynormal in lincolnland. Americas onecent penny man stephen glad to hear it. What about the rest of the country . Is it going to be ok . Safe. No need to strengthen security measures, like in the key swing state of ohio or as we like to call it here in america, the new ukraine. Stephen i dont think we call it that. Is what is going to be on voting machine. Stephen well, youre the expert. What if theres another hack attempt, though . What should the states do to defend themselves . Oh, excellent question. Click link to update password and for mega volume, make her say, wow, wow, wow stephen thank you for that security measure, sir. Go, Michael Jordan baseball go stephen chairman johnny cowboy, everybody. Thank you, chairman. Thank you very much. Say hello to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stephen i missed my segue already. That was nice. My Apple Fitness tracker said i had negative steps. Is talking about tonight is the story everybody will be talking about tomorrow, because its donald trump. Trump is planning a major immigration policy speech wednesday in arizona. Now, he was originally supposed to give it last thursday in colorado, so it moved later and further south. If he delays it again, its monday at the panama canal. But he has to give this speech sooner or later, because immigration has gone from being the one thing everyone t trump to and im quoting his supporters here, huh . So i hope im pronouncing that correctly. Huh . So its time to clear this up, but not too much, because while what trumps saying now sounds confused and meaningless, he might just be confused and meaningless like a fox. Werd. Double fission. Now double vision. Now, vehicles, from the very beginning, Trumps Campaign has been based on two things hes based it on built build the wall and deport em all. And, folks, that worked great in the primaries, but just look at any recent poll. The thing is, in recent polls, trumpsmb you see, his attacks on mexicans and muslims are clearly hurting him with moderate voters. So, just last week in a townhall hall town hall, trump toned down his immigration tough talk. Is there any part of the law that you might be able to change that would accommodate those people that contribute to society, have been lawabiding, have kids here . There certainly could be a age. But that day, but the next day, he went soft on the softening. He used the word softening. I dont think its a softening, i think but 11 Million People are no longer going to be deported. I would say its a hardening. Stephen ok, so its a softening thats also a hardening. And i i need to say i believe trump, because at the town hall, the night before right after he announced the initial softening, he immediately hardened it. Who who wants those people thrown out . I do i love this guy. This is my guy stephen do you hear that . He just said he wouldnt throw anyone out but then one guy suddenly hes like, this is my guy, and that that is innovative leadership. You see, for years, politicians have been so afraid of Immigration Reform that they wouldnt take any position. Now, donald trump has taken two. And this isnt this is yours. This is mine. This is not flipflopping. Hes not saying up and changing his mind to down. His position say firm up and down. And its not just mexicans. He also has clear positions on muslims. Jond j. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states. Stephen firm. Now, lets try soft. Its a temporary ban. It hasnt been called for yet. No ones done it. This is just a suggestion. A suggestion and no ones called for it, and he called for it, does that mean hes nobody . Plus, trump has promised to bring overseas jobs back to america. And at the same time, his shirts are made in bangladesh, his ties in china, his suits in mexico. So whatever you believe, trump agrees with you. Getting 100 of the vote. So, to win this election, trump is going to have to take every position on every issue other than obviously whether hillary should be president. She would be a terrible president. Well, i know her, and she would make a good president. Stephen wow he is a fantterrible [ cheers and applause ] . . The ford freedom sales event is on our biggest event of the year just got better . . Announcing zero for seventytwo across the entire lineup of ford cars, trucks and suvs. Plus, tagged vehicles now get a thousand smart bonus. Ats freedom from interest. And freedom to choose with ford. Americas best selling brand. . . Now get 0 financing for 72 months across the entire ford lineup, . Never underestimate the power of energizer. Nexium 24hr is now the 1 choice of doctors and pharmacists for their own frequent heartburn. For complete protection all day and night make nexium 24hr your 1 choice. Avorite part is to be able to lift your legs up a little bit, and it feels like im just cradled. Change your sleep, change your life. Change to tempurpedic. Now thru september 11th, upgrade and save on select tempurpedic mattresses . [ music ] . Everybody. Welcome back. My first guest tonight is an actor director and overall nice yet surprisingly hunky guy. His latest film is the holla hollars. This is staceys house . Yeah. Come on you divorced her like years ago it was a divorce. I dont want a strange man what is it . Theyre by the window. That doesnt work dont talk. Just get down. Hes coming. Hes coming. Hes coming. Hes coming. Hes coming. Hes coming over hes coming over . Im going to kill you im going to kill you this is very upsetting to me. Stephen please welcome john krasinski. [ cheers and applause ] . [ music ] . Stephen nice to have you back. Good to see you. Great to be back. Stephen i dont believe you get to do this every night. This is awesome. Stephen its awesome when i have a guest like you. Thats very nice. Stephen well, i paid him to you took me to diner to say that. Stephen the last time you were here we became best friends. Stephen kind of became best friends. I figured if i said it on camera, itd be official. Stephen want to shake on it . Sure. Stephen want to hug on it . Sure. Stephen let your head back on the camera side because i know how showbiz friendship works. You know this is my better side . Stephen i do. I do. You dont have a bad side this is just a nightmare. People think, oh, its true . Stephen the last time you were here, we went out to dinner together. People always say that. People dont end up doing that. I first stalked you. Remember i said . Remember i said . Stephen you did a little bit. You did a little bit. I was lying in my bed with my wife and you said when are we doing this . I couldnt believe you said that. Its very show business to say lets go to dinner but to do it. Lets go to dinner, big guy . Whats with fake guns in hollywood . People love it. But i did, i asked to you come to dinner. I didnt think you would ever come to dinner. Youre very busy. Youre very beloved. Stephen i am, yeah. Youre the very first person to say the busy part. Ill take the love, too. You and your lovely wife are the first famous friends that ive made. I have friends that are famous, dont get me wrong, but the only camera. Thats right. Yeah. Yeah. We did make history, though. Stephen whatd we do . It was one of the best shows ever. Yeah . No . You dont remember . Stephen you were here. We got the report back, it was good. It was good . Stephen they said it was one of the best ever. We met during the Kennedy Center honors. Stephen oh shoot thats when we did meet. Im sorry. Wow, were no longer best friends. You dont even remember the first time you met me stephen we sat in each center because you and your lovely wife emily blunt offered me a ride. Your car for whatever reason was allowed to drive up to the portico of the white house and ours wasnt. Yep. Stephen what the hell does that mean . I dont know what it means but i took it as a huge, huge confidencebooster. And then i said, why dont you get in our car . Stephen seriously, we did end up sitting on each others i dont know why they sent a smart car to pick us up but we were crammed in there talking like this i remember. I want to point out that i think i picked up dinner. When we just had dinner . Stephen yeah, i think i paid for it. Thats silly. I was doing it to impress you. I always pick up dinner. Stephen i went to the bathroom. When i came back, it was all taken care of. Thats my move. Stephen i had a fuller thats how you always get us. Stephen how is your lovely wife . Just had a baby, right . Just had a baby yes. Thank you. Thank you very much. I did so much. Stephen did you something. I just stood there like, oh my god, is it happening . Stephen this is your second baby . Second hazel. Stephen and vyelet. I love and violet. I love it. Thats what it is. Stephen old lady names. We went on thete to check the popularity of your kids names. Both of the names werent popular since 1890. And i thought, well take names precar. Thats what well do. Stephen sure, dress the kids up in bustles every night. Your wife, the lovely emily blunt, she shell love this shell love this. Stephen you think so . I think so. Wouldnt want to be described as lovely, right . I think so. Stephen also an old way to describe someone as lovely. If you say it with an accent. Oh, shes lovely. Stephen were broadcasting live right now. No, but shes english and youre american and how are you raising the kids . That must be a tough choice. Well, so we dont have problems with accents, were raising them that they cant speak. Stephen oh, ok. And then at 18, theyll be like, surprise, i hav accent. Our oldest kind of sounds like madonna right now. Like a little bit of both. A little bit of both. Stephen how old is she . 2 1 2. Shes got a little bit of a british accent. She says stuff like woota. Dada, may have a woota . I say, can we go to the stephen youre going to talk show tonight. She says, im going to the chat show. I lost the battle of a lifetime because my wife got to play mary poppins. Some people didnt know. Before you cheer, picture the demise of my cool factor in my house. Ill never be cool again. Zeph steph oh, because mom. Stephen oh, because mom is look at the movie dad did. Oh, mary poppins. Stephen at best, youre mr. Darling. No im adorable. Stephen no. The characters name. I know what you said. I am adorable. You keep calling her lovely. I want to take something from her. Stephen you got a lot. Youre both adorable or you should be described as adorkable. Used to be. Not anymore. Because now youre hunky. Oh, thanks. Movie you pumped up for. Are you still jacked . Look at you just look can i feel . Can i . Wow. Pretty good, right . Stephen let me get in there. Thats all right. Thats all right. Thats ok. In about two more months, you can try it, ok . Stephen um, um, ill tell you what, why dont we cut to commercial break and ill feel your abs while were on commercial break and ill report back to everybody else. Well be right back with if you have moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis, and youre talking to your doctor about your medication. This is humira. 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