About. Jimmy yeah. Were like a dog, we can read each others minds. We know each others purpose. There was a video in which it scenes video on set of the which you lost your mind. Well, lets take a lo here. What the [ bleep ] . I am a here and this [ bleep ] wanders onto my set et line out dont [ bleep ] starts whispern your ear, youre not even watching anymore Dennis Dennis dont [ bleep ] dennis me jimmy that video viral yeah. People start blaming me for doing it. You were such a great patsy. Jimmy when i had nothing to do with it. I was going, well i know i had with this. You did this. For funnier guy, a sketch. Skits. And this seemed like its going to be either great or a big dud. We did it. And you know it was a hoax. We were going to show what really happened. Jimmy leading up to . A day or two later. I was inyork. And when it came out, in the morning, it broke. I didnt even know it had broken. I turn on the tv and theres al roker going, dennis, come in. You need an intervention we can help you. [ laughter ] ohoh, better call my mom. I hadnt told her about it yet. Jimmy the acting is so good in it. I was like, oh. I didnt do this. This must be a real thing. Yeah. You said Something Like pull 50 pranks and people think they dont trust you anymore. Jimmy i know its so unfair. Just for the record i had nothing to do with that. Okay. Jimmy and it really it ba, i are you glad that you did it . Oh it turned out to be one of the most fun times i ever had. Jimmy okay, all right. Well, as long as somebodys having a good time its all right. Jimmy last time here you were talking about you went to play golf with bill clinton when he was in the white house. Yes. Jimmy have you golfed with our current president , donald trump . I actually did. About four years ago. Jimmy and how did it go . They both have pretty good swings. Donald only played two holes with us. Jimmy why . Because he had be do. Pretty good . Yeah he was good. Jimmy did he cheat . We hear he cheats on the golf course. You know, you never know. Jimmy uhhuh. President clinton cheat on the golf course . That was called a president ial pardon. Jimmy i see. [ laughter ] he was giving me sevenfoot putts. Youve been in so many movies. Theres one i saw on your imbd that i dont remember you being in. Stripes. Yes. Jimmy bill murray. Right. Jimmy a movie ive seen probably 40 or 50 times. You keep looking for me, dont you. Jimmy now i i was married to p. J. Sales at the time, she played the female lead. Id come to visit. I guess i got caught in a frame or Something Like that. Jimmy the one with the spatula . Yes, the spatula girl thats right. Jimmy wow. You did what . The movie . I think i was just trying to find the restroom or something. [ laughter ] there on the set. And i must have been caught in a frame. So i guess they had to credit me. Or uncredit me. Or something. Jimmy i want to mention, a dogs purpose, there was a video people got very upset about. I didnt see it. There was a dog that people were sayingmistreated. Yeah. Another one of your braings . No. Its not a prank. Somebody did shoot video and then took the video and other pieces to it. To make it look like a dog was abused. Jimmy why did they do that . Well he ht for 15 months until a week befor movies coming out, then makes a storm about how the dog was abused. Jimmy oh. The dog was abused . Why didnt you raise something at the time . Jimmy you didnt see any dog abuse . I dont know maybe it was a guy that was at the inauguration taking video as well. Jimmy see, this is how the media goes. Yeah. Well weve got to get our fake news stories straight. Jimmy so our fake news stories, to get them straight you filming out on set was fake news. Yes, kind of sort of. Intentional. Jimmy intentional fake news. The dog also fake news also intentional, but a different intention . You remember youre under oath. Just fake news. Jimmy donald trump cheated at golf . You never deknow. Jimmy i feel like weve learned nothing. Yet weve learned a lotm dennis. Yes. Pulling in the future . Have you learned your lesson . I i dont know. Jimmy you dont know okay. I dont know. Its very good to see you. The movie is a dogs purpose. It opens friday. Dennis quaid, everybody. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] ship comes in by the hollies oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path and the seagulls theyll be smilin and the rocks on the sand its so peaceful out here. Yeah. Introducing the new turbocharged volkswagen alltrack with 4motion® allwheel drive. Soon to be everywhere. I thought i was managing my moderate to severe crohns disease. I didnt think there was anything else to talk about. But then i realized there was. So, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. He said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications ms of moderate to severe crohns disease. 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People spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever p aid. Le, nonhabit forming advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. Question, are my teeth yellow . Have you tried the tissue test . Ugh, yellow. What do you use . Crest whitestrips crest 3d whitestrips whiten. 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste i passed the tissue test. Oh yeah. Crest whitestrips are the way to whiten jimmy welcome back. Bill burr and music from Andrew Mcmahon and the wilderness is on the way. Dividedgy gsn, its part game show, part social experiment strangers hav together to win money. Guillermo im guillermo. Ame show we ask people if they can agree an answer they can make a quick, which ones the best snack on the table . I think its the cookies. I think its the doughnuts. The coo ainitely doughnuts. Fresher, the cookies are fresher. The doughnuts are fresh from this morning. Guillermo the longer you fight the less money you win. The cookies, the cookies. Guillermo great job. Ill take the doughnuts. Whos the most stinky in your family . Who stinks . You stink . No. No. Pointing to her. Your feet. Guys. Guillermo we got a winner the best body . Me im working on it. Look at that bro. Guillermo oh my god, good job hi, everyone. Whos the laziest person at the show . You are guillermo i never felt so divided in my life. Dicky watch divided thursday on gsn, the game show network. United they win, divided they could lose it all. Jimmy well be right back with bill burr [ cheers and applause ] feast your eyes on the thinmazing, thintastical chips ahoy thins then, feast your mouth on their crisptacular chocolatechippedness its no trick we put an exclamation point on thin and prestochipo, now its thincredible made with only at t offers you all your live channels and dvr on your devices, datafree. Its entertainment. Your way. 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His new standup comedy special, walk your way out, premieres on netflix a week from tomorrow, please welcome bill burr. [ cheers and applause ] its very good to see you, congratulations on the baby. You just had the baby . Friday morning. [ cheers and applause ] i didnt, my wife did. I didnt. I didnt do anything. I felt unbelievably useless. I was in total panic mode. When i dropped her off at the emergency room she goes youve got to park the car down in the spot. And i swear to god i was in such fight or flight driving down there this voice in my head said, just keep going, keep going, just drive away. Of course i wouldnt. But i started laughing. Isnt that like a Bruce Springsteen song going out to get cigarettes . Something hilarious about people abandoning their family. [ laughter ] i cant imagine like the hell that you would be in to do that move. But just knowing you were going to do it the level of excitement that you would have before. Like okay im going to go get some cigarettes and im never going to see you people again erinlaw. All of this stuff is over. Jimmy i went out for a ride and i but youback you parked the car. Did you have a car seat in the car . Are you prepared . I think so yeah. Jimmy you think so . Well youre supposed to go down to the fire department. Jimmy yes, to get it checked. To make sure that you put the thincorrec down to this firehouse twice and theres nobody there. Knocking on the door. The tvs on. Theres no trucks there. Ive been there twice. I was joking with my wife even the guy who makes the chili doesnt hang around . Theres got to be somebody here. What if i was oding . I dont know, i think en its kind of a scam the car seat thing. Jimmy why . Until youre 9 years old, some giant kid, putting them into the car . Its all weird. Youve got to buckle that thing. Jimmy my parents kept my niece and nephew until they were teenagers in the car seat. Meanwhile, consistswhen i was a kid, my head went through the windshield we werent even strapped in. The seat belt was this your mother grabbed you like that. Jimmy my mothers powerful arm keeping me back yeah. That was it. Jimmy did you cut the umbilical cord snfrkts yeah i did do that. Its so funny. Going into the delivery room. Its so ridiculous. Youre sitting there like its not i dont know why i was there. I felt like a radio contest, they were like hey wear some scrubs and watch some doctors work sort of just sitting there. It was the dumbest thing. I used to work in a dental office. We wouldnt let people in there, because if they saw blood, some people faint. Then you go from one patient to go. Then im going to go in there and see this saving private ryan type of stuff. Stay north of the sheet and all of that. I will tell you, when i saw my kid, i didnt have like everybody was like youre going to burst down crying. I was like scared of it. Sitting there like hey, there, buddy. I didnt want to touch it. Then like afterwards they give it to me. Im hanging with her for the first time feeling nothing. I put my head down in the bassinet oh my god, im a serial killer i dont feel things. But i realized that everybody had so filled my head what youre going to feel and all this type of thing, i was living their experience. I had to let it go and then gradually jimmy are you starting to feel anything . No no no. Jimmy you are. Im germanirish it takes awhile to warm up to you. You know . Jimmy maybe by the 1st birthday. By the next couple of times they sneeze its over. Of course it happened. But you know. Its a lot. Its a lot. Jimmy oh yeah its a lot, sure it is. Its different now, everythings different. You look at everything did you watch at home . No i watched in the one of the worst tvs ever. The hospital thing. Its like theyre trying to kill the dad. They had this lazboy from lake 1968. Like the prototype. Im supposed to sleep on it. Every time i moved it was squeaking. I thought it was my baby crying. They had some little tv. Going into a dream sequence kind of thing, it was doing that the whole game. I had no idea what quarter it was. And i was like yelling at the announcers. Say the score, say the score so i was able to watch it. Jimmy this kid is already affecting your lifestyle. Oh, yeah, she laid on my chest the whole time. Jimmy you like a lot of Patriots Fans have a fullon almost sexual attraction to tom brady . It seems like every guy whos a patriots fan no, thats thats outside the tom brady bubble. All you guys looking in, wishing that was your quarterback. Jimmy you do have it . See, he won it. Youre putting words into my mouth. Youre going a little psycho on me right now. No i dont. Jimmy speaking of going psycho, i saw your netflix special, its hilarious. Very, very funny. [ cheers and applause ] thats nice of the audienct hasnt actually aired yet so youre lying. [ laughter ] you shot in nashville. Youre not from nashville, obviously. Why did you shoot in nashville . Because you know something, the special i did before i wanted to shoot in san bs didnt work out. The last second we had to get a theater and i did it in atlanta. Northern guy, boston guy, going in front of this southern crowd and everything. Like this whole new vibe came in where that i really enjoyed where it was like rather than do a special like do it in your hometown everybody thinks the same way. You kind of lose that great element of standup of like people not understanding necessarily your point of view then you get heckled, then it feels like a live show. And how i chose nashville was i did Vince Vaughns wild west comedy festival they have. Its where they did the original grand ole opry. Youve got to see this place. I just walked in it had that magic. Jimmy its so funny. So incredible. Jimmy very funny. And your podcast which i love you know do it twice a week. And its different from most pod casts in that there are no guests. You just rant and rave for a full hour. Yeah yes. Jimmy are you doing that in the house . Yes. Jimmy you should make sure the baby doesnt hear you doing that. Yeah ill figure something out. Jimmy i think it could trouble the child. The rope why i dont have a guest is because like then youve got to it becomes a job. Then people i cant find your house, can we do it next thursday, all that. I didnt get in this business to have a job. You know . [ laughter ] i didnt want to have a job. You know . So i just yeah i just go off on stuff. It started five minutes, then people started writing in questions, it kept building. Jimmy its excellent, i am a big fan, i listen to it all the time. Bill burr everybody walk your way out on netflix january 31st. Be right back with Andrew Mcmahon and the wilderness where things come from . How they get here . What theyre packed in . Its a lot of stuff. And these things add up. Thats why we recycle. [vo ]its nice to know that raymour and flanigan is proud to be a leading recycler 17 Million Pounds of recyclable materials every year. Turned from trash into treasure. So in the future we will all have a more beautiful world. Jimmy thanks to dennis quaid, thanks to bill burr apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next. First his album zombies on broadway comes out february 10th. Here with firecad oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh i met up with an acrobat in brooklyn or some place like that with life and taxis flying past we tore that dance hall down oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh pocket change and subway cars your big ideas filled empty bars you might be from the moon or mars either way im never going home oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so lets hang an anchor from the sun theres a million city lights but youre number one youre the reason im still up at dawn just to see your face well be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh i was drinking from the wishing well some junkie metalhead hotel when we boarded the carousel the roof was caving in oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh on the stage my oxblood friend was singing songs about the end the bankershe lions den were dropping lines like beggars in the snow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so lets han from the sun theres a million city lights but youre number one youre the reason im still up at dawn just to see your face well be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh swinging from the fire escape walking home your hand in mine tattoos on the river line the morning birds are taking flight either way i thought that you should know youre my n