Your forehead. Then you wear it the rest of the day to show everyone what a good person you are, i guess. Somebody told me my mother is here and she has, i think she might put mascara on her head, like extra. To make sure that i can see it and to remind me that i didnt to go church today. Working on hollywood boulevard, it is hard to tell who went to church and who just took off their filthy darth vader helmet. [ laughter ] guiller guillermo, are you giving up anything for lent . Red meat, jimmy. Jimmy why are you giving up red meat . Well, thats for lent. But its not good for jimmy partly for health reasons. Okay. Very good. I was thinking this morning what would i miss most . Youre supposed to make a sacrifice. I think what i would miss most on like a daily basis is qtips. I love them so much. [ laughter ] im going to try to go cold turkey. Im going to go tipless for 40 days, and then at like 6 00 a. M. On Easter Sunday im going to go nuts. [ laughter ] ill tell you something [ applause ] thank you. That im certainly not giving up for lent. That is dancing with the stars. Sorry, god, but no way. Season 245 of dancing with the stars is in the works. A fresh new crop of celebrity dancers was revealed to the world this morning on good morning america. Here are a few of the many brave stars who will sacrifice all to try to claim the coveted mirrored ball. Jimmy what is going on there . [ applause ] that was obviously mr. T, or as he may very well be known in four years if things keep going the way they have, president t. [ laughter ] he will be going up against 11 fools he pities. From the worlds of sports and entertainment. If i were mr. T, i would dance to the music of the ateam song every week. The producers of dancing with the stars said theyve been trying to get mr. T on the show for years. Really . How hard were they trying . [ laughter ] well, he didnt answer the phone again. So i guess well try again next year. Anyway, its exciting. I think it will be interesting to see chris kattan from saturday night live. Weve had winners who were athletes, singers, actors, reality show stars, but a comedian has never won dancing with the stars. A comedian has never finished higher than fourth on dancing with the stars. And i for one dream of a day when that Glass Ceiling is broken. I really do. [ laughter ] other competitors. You saw charo, olympic gymnast simone biles, Bonner Bolton who i have no idea who that is but hes competing. And the bachelor nick is going to take his talents to the dance floor. They say the best way you can help make a marriage happen is to immediately pair him with a half naked dancer from australia. But maybe nick will fall in love with mr. T. Who knows what could happen this season . By the way, i noticed something. Lets go through they pair these celebrities with professional dancers. I was reading some of the names. Gleb shevchemko. Macs chmerkovskiy, val chmerkovskiy. And artem chmitsov. I think i figured out where the leaks have been coming from. President trump, i found the hackers and theyre on dancing with the stars. Theyve been distracting us with their [ applause ] this is alarming. Especially if you have young children. There is a company that makes a toy called a cloud pet. This is a hightech stuffed animal. Basically you can record a voice message and then the voice you record comes out of the stuffed animal. Which sounds cute except it turns out to be not so secure. More than 800,000 accounts were reportedly very easy to hack into. Someone noticed it and put parents on alert. Who could have guessed giving a kid with a microphone connected to the internet in it had the potential to go wrong. But the company said none of the voice recordings were tapped into. Which is good. But i have to say im not sure i believe thats true. Now staying in touch is easy and fun with cloud pets. Just record a message and send to the cloud. Allowing you to send the message to the cloud pet. This is yako. I am cute. What is mommys Social Security number . The cloud pet app uses Bluetooth Technology to send your messages. Send me to melania as gift for little trump boy. Best of all, theyre always there to listen. Tell me daddys secrets. Does he make naked sex . Cloud pets. Because you are never safe. Jimmy at least theyre up front about that, i guess, huh . [ applause ] front about it, huh . This is for music fans, especially in the southwest. The Coachella Music Festival is getting a new headliner. Lady gaga will step in to fill the gap left by beyonce. Beyonce had to bow out because as you know shes pregnant with twins. I dont know why beyonces doctor thought it would be a bad idea for her to perform in the middle of the desert in front of 100,000 people on mushrooms while she was pregnant, but he did. For those of you in the country who arent familiar with coachella, it is a huge gathering in the desert outside palm springs. Its basically a trader joes set to music in a large open field. And it happens next the other headliner is radiohead. Theyre a great band. They will not get pregnant. Based on what im told, its impossible. This is an interesting demonstration. This is from china. A kung fu master put on a exhibition of what im not exactly sure. But he claims this is a cure for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Hi hi hi hi hi jimmy yeah. Id try that. It looks like fun. Its a move that you do on dancing with the stars. Someone should show that move to donald trump to let him know you do not mess with china. This is another item our president should look into. According to an investigation done by the nbc news team in washington, d. C. , almost 100 federal employees, these are people who work for the government. Theyve either been caught or admitted to watching pornography at work. Which i dont know. 100 seems low, actually, to me. One federal worker admitted to spending six hours a day looking at images and videos. He said and im assuming hes a he because hes definitely a he. [ laughter ] but he said he did this for several years. An employee at the federal Railroad Administration said he browsed pornographic websites 252 hours in one year. Which is equivalent to 31 eighthour workdays. All day. That is nuts. So we thought this might be Fertile Ground for our pedestrian question. We went on the street this afternoon. We asked people, have you ever watched pornography at work. The way it goes, you will see someone introduce himself or herself and then based on that introduction well try to determine if they seem like the sort of person who would do this, or at least admit they did this at work. Okay . Lets begin. What is your name and where are you from . My name is morli and im from norway. Morli, have you ever watched pornography at work . Jimmy has morty [ laughter ] wow like an attack on the norwegians. Lets find out. [ laughter ] no. I dont think so. You dont think so . No, i havent. Jimmy i dont think so means i think so. [ laughter ] yeah. Lets meet our next contestant. What is your name and where are you from . Im a motivational speaker and im from new jersey. Have you ever watched pornography at work . Jimmy is his tie is his tie on backwards . All right. What do you think . Lets ask him. Hell, no. I watch it at home. Where do you work from . From home. Jimmy all right. We got him on a technicality. Lets look at another one. Whats your name and where are you from . Hi. My name is juan from augusta, maine. And juan, have you ever watched pornography at work . Jimmy has juan from maine done that . He has jesus on his shirt but he also has a nose ring. So its really hard to all right. Lets see. Juan . All the time. Where do you work . Oh, man. At a bus station. Jimmy he works at a bus station. Nothing sadder than watching porn at a bus station. Who do we have next . What is your name and where are you from . Im jamie, and im from highland, utah. Okay. And have you ever watched pornography at work . Jimmy all right. Jamie, utah. Not a chance, right . All right. No. Where do you work . At a school. [ laughter ] jimmy thats good. Wait until summer break and catch up. All right. Whats your name and where are you from . Valerie. Im from los angeles, california. And have you ever watched pornography at work . Jimmy how do we feel about valerie . All the women are saying no. Okay. Lets find out. Yes. Where do you work . At i cant tell you that. I cant tell you where i work. What kind of work . At a telecommunications center. A call center. At t. No. Sprint. Maybe. Maybe. I dont work there no more. She cracked under pressure. All right. Thank you, valerie. Thanks to everyone for playing. We have to take a break. 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Are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® its starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Alec baldwin, luke evans, and music from tuxedo. And zeke one and Mayer Hawthorne on the way. I dont know if any of you are in the market for a preowned vehicle. If you are, you can own the car tupac was shot in. This is it. Its a 1996 bmw once owned by suge knight. That is what it looks like from the rear. And it can be yours for the low price of only 1. 5 million. I dont know. All things considered, i think i would rather have a car that tupac wasnt shot in. He was shot in the car. To me thats the only reason to buy that car is if your dream is to be the creepiest uber driver ever. [ laughter ] speaking of uber. The ceo of uber i dont know if you saw this. His name is travis kalanick. He got in an argument with a driver from his own company that apparently recognized him. This happened on super bowl sunday. The video just came out. Heres a bit of it. This is exactly i think this is just the kind of behavior youd expect from a guy named travis. I lost money several thousand dollar because of you. I bankrupt because of you. Yes, yes. You keep changing every day. What have i you keep changing. Hold on a second. What have i changed about black . You changed the whole business. What . You dropped the prices. On black . Yes. Bull [ bleep ]. 20. How much is the mile now . 2. 75 . You know what . What . Some people dont like to take responsibility for their own i taky blame everything on somebody else. Town car. Good luck. Good luck to you too. But i know you dont get to go far. Jimmy it was like the most uncomfortable episode of Undercover Boss ever. The funny part is the driver after travis the boss left he gave him a onestar rating. The Company Holiday party very tense this year. So then the ceo apologized for his behavior. And hes rightfully been shamed for doing this. But to me the most embarrassing part of the video isnt the argument with the driver. Its before the argument with the driver he was dancing around in the back seat. Like that is the thats the Hillary Clinton shimmy hes doing right back there. [ laughter ] to me, thats the more egregious offense. It really is. Anyway, at the very least its good to know your uber driver is taping you in the car. All right . Time now for something fun. Soap operas are kind of a dying breed in the united states. There arent many left. But in new zealand, this is from a show in new zealand called shortland street. And i dont know much about the show itself. But what i do know is a hell of a cliffhanger when i see one. Awesome house. Wheres your room . Upstairs. Maybe this is a mistake. You said your dad is at golf. Hes not at golf. Hey, dad, this is lily. Hi. Go home, please, lily. What . Why . Goodbye, lily. Bye. No. See you tomorrow. That was rude. Rude . Ill show you rude. This tablet is still synced to your phone. Please tell me that is not your penis jimmy wow. Does anyone else have goosebumps . [ applause ] i cant take the suspense. I dont know. I want to know. This is a show i would love to bring to american television. Guillermo, wouldntht itat here . I agree with you, jimmy. Jimmy if we did that show, which part would you play . The girl. Jimmy we need to get you a wig for sure. Oh, i have a wig. Jimmy you have a wig. So maybe we should give it a try. All right. Lets give it a try. Jimmy you put the wig on. Ill play the teenage boy. And who should we get to play the dad . How about me . Alec baldwin. Jimmy yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] thats a very good idea. Thats great. This is perfect. Im glad you happened to be back there. [ cheers and applause ] all right. Well, fortunately we have a set here. Lets do this, shall we . All right. Very good. Wait. Youve got to go to action. You have to do action first. [ laughter ] wait for somebody to yell action. Well get it right. Dont worry. Awesome house that you have here. Where is your room . Jimmy upstairs. Maybe this is a mistake. Your dad is at golf . Jimmy were supposed to stand here, guillermo. My daddys at golf . Your dad is at golf . Jimmy oh, no, no. Hes not at golf. Jimmy there he is. Hey, dad. This is lily. Hi. Go home, please, lily. Why . Goodbye, lily. Bye . No. There is always tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy now that was rude. Rude . Ill show you rude. This tablet is still synced to your iphone. Yeah . Please tell me that is not your penis. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow, thank you, guillermo. Thats very sweet. Alec baldwin, everybody. And youre welcome, america. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the show, music from tuxedo. Luke evans is here. Well be right back with alec. Announcer portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by xyzal. Be wise, all, try xyzal. Hit t one, two, three, get loose no it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it outta sight. Are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® its starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. Schick hydro ® vs a lube strip. With seven hydrating gel pools. That give you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Schick hydro ® free your skin. ® at red lobsters lobsterfestime. Any of these 9 lobster dishes could be yours. So dont resist delicious new lobster mix and match or lobsterfest surf and turf because you wont have this chance for long. Jimmy did you get her something for her birthday this year . I did. Jimmy what did you get her . A little top from lululemon. Jimmy you got her a top from lululem lulule then we wad it up to make it nice and soft. But grandma, we use charmin ultra soft so we dont have to wad to get clean. Mmm, cushiony. And we can use less. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Remember, thats charmin in there. No wasteful wadding we all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin. Hi hey ill take one of those new fast play games. Oh, you ready for a rush . Uh, sure im pretty excited for you right now. Fast play is the new way to play fast and win instantly from the pennsylvania lottery. Pick a game, get your ticket and see if youve won. I won fast play, please fast play. Play fast. Win instantly. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, from the forthcoming movie beauty and the beast, luke evans is here. Then their new album this is coming out on march 24th. Its a collaboration between jake one and mayor hawthorne. Its called tuxedo ii. Tuxedo from the mercedesbenz stage. Tomorrow night on the show president george w. Bush will be here. Adam pally will be here. And again, theyre not performing together. They will be here individually. Our first guest is one of a very few men to have hosted a game show and been nominated for an Academy Award its really just him and bob barker, who got nominated for happy gill more, i think. Yeah . On march 31st, he gives voice to an infant in the boss baby. Please welcome alec baldwin. [ cheers and applause ] can i tell you something really quickly . You came out and you said where do i go . I never know where to go either when im on a talk