If it doesnt work out, its not yours to keep. A gift is a gift. [ laughter ] spoken like a truman. Yes. So youve been engaged a few times. But not married. Well, i still believe in a fairy tale, i believe theres the right person for you. I learned a lot from those experiences, i think the first 12 or 18 months runaway bride. [ laughter ] the first 12 to 18 months, you market yourself, you want to be liked and loved. And it goes both ways. And after a while, you start to see the real thing. And that real thing sometimes is not what you thought it was going to be. Karina, from hanging around you, karina can look at a man, then he goes, i want to marry you. Like [ laughter ] you got that big old rock. And now you dont get married. How do you do that . Does he have to dance . I prefer if hes not a dancer, you want someone from another field, that you can talk about not just the cha cha cha. Rhythm is important. Rhythm is important. [ laughter ] youre writing a book. Yes. Ive been talking to my girlfriend after every relationship that didnt work out, and asking where did i go wrong, i want to put that in a book, those are the lessons that hopefully make us better. Give him a lesson. Well, i think for the most part, women are very good at believing their own stories in life. You know, we want the perfect relationship, and we Start Building it in our head, and then by the time im done with my fairy tale, its perfect. It never messes up. No. And the reality is different. I think we have to be honest with ourselves, first and fore more. Foremost. Foremost. Thank you. I think thats probably right. But you have to be honest with yourself from the giddy up, i mean every day. You have to know who you are, so when you see the guy, you look and you go, oh, not him. And then you discover later on, that that is the one. Because thats the one who was honest and up front with you. And you turned its like Dustin Hoffman said, we see people, he sees people, then he never spoke to them, because they didnt fit his ideal. Women, also, they put this thing on their list of things, this wish list of things that they want. And i know when i got married, my girlfriend niese nash introduced sal to me. I was saying no, i want this and this. She said dont date for your preference. Whats your priority . You need somebody who is going to say im going to the doctor with you. And sal is all that. And hes got a lot of rhythm, too. He did the first stuff. [ laughter ] thats important. Very important. [ laughter ] i think women got to look at what do you need in a relationship, not what is all the stuff i want. Sex all the time. [ laughter ] you talk about all of the things, but the bottom line is do you want him . Do you want to go to bed with him . Thats important. [ laughter ] priorities, barbara. Do you want him, do you want to go to bed with him . That has to be there somewhere. Knowing that thats not going to last for 30, 40 years. And that whoever you marry, you better be able to talk to them. Thats right. For the times when youre going through the change, and guys never understand it. Dont touch me when im hot. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you got a lot of men over here, whoopi, going, the change . The change is we go from one thing to another. And sometimes we you know, its harder. Its very difficult, sometimes. And men dont understand. Sex. Youre say sex and youre saying the change. Are you talking about menopause . They are connected. They are connected, because sometimes no matter what your head for sex has been, sometimes you go through that change, and chemically, you start to alter, and guys have to know, that this is real. Its not, i dont want to go to bed. Its like you are too heavy for me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats why they look for younger ones. Thats indicative of their change. They have viagra now, it never ends. [ laughter ] they have viagra now, it will never end. It wont end happily, is what you mean. It will end. Because they say with the viagra, if your erection lasts 17, 18 hours, go to the hospital. Yeah. You know, if you 90 years old, thats not a good sign. [ laughter ] a man married for seven years told an online advice column that he cannot have sex with his wife unless he fantasizes shes someone else, and he asks if this means he doesnt love her. The column said all it means is that hes found a way to keep their sex life fresh. Right. When you read these columns, it says you should fantasize. If youre with him and not that excited, fantasize hes somebody else like i cant think of somebody right now [ laughter ] whos that guy, gabriel burns, you love gabriel burns. You dont fantasize about him . No. No . [ laughter ] what about rob lowe . Rob lowe is coming up. See, rob lowe. [ applause ] how about colin powell, hes hot. Yes . [ laughter ] clear that up. I love barbara. [ applause ] he is wonderful. Yes, he is. Its just a fantasy. I dont believe you. [ laughter ] i tried to think of the classiest man i could. Fantasize about somebody. Colin powell. Yeah, but barbara, we read the book. Okay . [ laughter ] hey [ applause ] i knew i should have taken today off. It takes can i just clear that up . Yes. I think colin powell is just an absolutely wonderful man. He has a very happy marriage. And we have never gotten beyond too much, barbara. [ applause ] got to go, babe. Got to go. [ applause ] so what about this . Change the subjects. Im getting ready to. The wife of Brooklyn Nets star Andrei Kirilenko says she knows how many women throw themselves at male athletes, so she gives him permission to cheat once a year he claims hes never taken her up on the offer. I have two questions for him. Does he think she should do the same . No. No. No. And does she hope that hes going to say no, honey, i dont want to . One thing the thing about it, when she lets him, heres the problem, good for you, hope it works. But i think you open up a huge pandoras box, what if he gets with a woman better than you . And i think as time goes on, its like a drug. One woman is not enough. Then you start wanting more, so its she is not on Birth Control pills and he isnt wearing a condom. Well. What if she he doesnt use this year and he says can i do two . [ laughter ] he hasnt taken her up on it yet. We have to say that. I dont even know what to say. Were going to go and come back. You know we have to talk some more. Yes. [ cheers and applause ] announcer still ahead, parks and rec star rob lowe is telling you why he and matt damon were comparing speedos and what his teenage sons think of his past hit movies with the brat pack [ cheers and applause ] vamanos dusty the fans await roger that. So, el chu. What do i do . Ive never done this before just smile and be yourself oh its dusty crophopper over here dusty hey aaaaaagh wow so many fans dusty my friend, dont let it go to your head. You have to stay humble. Like me aaaaaaaahhahahiiiiiiy fly into target for everything planes. I see you made yourself breakfast. Howd you know . Say revlon colorstay makeup. Breakthrough Time Release Technology keeps skin balanced for a continuously fresh look. 24 hour wear. Flawless results. It also repels most ticks before they can attach. The leading brand kills, but doesnt repel. A tick that isnt repelled or killed may attach and make a meal of us. Get veterinarian recommended k9 advantix ii every day you stain it. So every day, use crest 3d White Toothpaste to remove up to 90 of surface stains in just 5 days. No wonder the number one whitening brand is crest 3d white. Faster than kenny can dodge a question. Honey, howd that test go . 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Hey girls the good oldays when we could eat as we wanted. Yes, but we are not 18 anymore. Sometimes if i eat as i used to my digestive system gets out of whack. Its not easy keeping it working as it should. Its easy if you enjoy an activia everyday. Mmmm. Delicious with the exclusive probiotic bifidus regularis, activia helps regulate your digestive system. Put a smile back in your day Activia Dannon [ cheers and applause ] we are back with our guest cohost, the fabulous Karina Smirnoff. Joy, let me set you up. [ cheers and applause ] during the break, guess who called . Mrs. Colin powell, she wants to talk to you. [ laughter ] she said something outside. We wont let you off the hook. You are so mean. Thats righght. [ laughter ] she is outside. Shes like this [ laughter ] you know, joy you know, whoopi, i know a little bit about you. Whoo okay. You know who ive been with, so does everybody else. [ laughter ] you dont know how often, because nobody knows. [ laughter ] one of them talked. One of them talked a lot, but you know what, many of them have talked. [ laughter ] but you know what, i got poison for them. Yes. I got some poison for them. Thats it. Now, listen, you shot some very revealing video of sherri recently. Yes, i did. What the hell . Well, people ask whats going on backstage where some of us are in a segment and some are not or theres a long commercial, then we go backstage. Well, the other day im backstage with sherri, i took out my video part of my ipad, and i shot this footage. Look at this. This is what she was doing. [ laughter ] [ applause ] look at those legs. Moisturizer. Shes priming a chevy, the girl. [ laughter ] look at the crickets sounds she could be making. [ laughter ] look at her. The thing was, it was like they were ashy. I was so tired after doing all that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] people dont know that one time barbara was getting tattoos. Tattoo . What . I thought you said she went out with tattoo. I did not know that. I read the book. If you were with us backstage, you would be with us backstage, the things you would see would be crazy. How about this, there was a recent online article in the new york times, that looked at how more female College Students are taking the lead in the so called hook up culture, looking for sex on campus, rather than getting involved in a relationship. What do you make of this . People seem to find this amazing. Will you respect me tomorrow, do you snrm. No. I dont remember. I grew up with, you know, you wont respect me tomorrow. And so i didnt do it. I agree with you. But the morality, whatever, they dont consider having intercourse as sort of the ultimate or, you know, you have to go out with them. The pill. That threw that out. The sin of because you know, if you got pregnant, not quite our day, but our day, you know, people disappeared you. And then suddenly you showed up. And you had your cousins mothers sisters aunts baby. [ laughter ] the thing about that, i think with these college women, nobody can stop you from doing what you want. If you want to be like the guys, and you want to be on campus, and have the same do the same thing. But what you cant do, i dont think, is rewire how men think. And men think that, you know, men think ill get with you. But im not going to marry you. Thats what you cant change. I dont think they are looking for that. They are looking for sex. They are looking to have sex. And to get out, and go finish what they have to do. Thats what im saying. If you want that, you can get that. At the end of the day you ever been with a guy you just wanted to sleep with him sdpnt want to marry him . Yeah. [ applause ] im sorry. [ laughter ] people, i think yall are lying. [ laughter ] you wanted to sleep with him, you didnt want to wake up with him. Sometimes you got to get a hit and run. Its like okay. [ applause ] hit and runs do some damage, there is collateral damage. I dont think there is, sherri, because you wanted to get married. Your marriage thats your thing. You love being married. I didnt love being married. That wasnt something i wanted. And so sometimes i get a little horny and call up a friend, can you come over . Come over. Have some fun. And then go home. [ applause ] can i say something. It took you three times of being married to figure out i dont like being married. That wasnt the reason. The reason i kept getting married. I wanted to feel like i was normal. Because people kept making me feel like there was Something Weird about me. Because you know, that i had this career. And how could i do those things and go make so i thought if i married them, they would be more comfortable. And wed be able and the truth of the matter is look, i was this, when i met you. And if you cant respect that, then youre not respecting me. If youre not respecting me, i cant be here. Like elizabeth taylor, she kept getting married, also. In those days, if you wanted to live with a guy and have sex with them, you had to get married. Yes. Thats the trouble standard. Women are in a different place nowadays. Wow. Ramifications. When youre 19 or 20, you dont want to hook up for the rest of your life, because between the years of 20 and 35, you change 20 different times. You have had these engagements. What are youy. I want to be married. I want to have a family. But i want it the right way. I want the right guy who will be supportive. Whats your idea of the right guy . Somebody who is my best friend and will grow old with me and share the experience of life. Do you have relationship issues . I love being in a relationship. So you broke up with your guys. You know, its not a or b. Its very mutual. Like when you get to the same place, and you realize, you dont want to continue on the same road together. Get out. Yes. You should follow joys example. She is my role mod sgll wait 30 years. 30 years she loved with him. And then finally she said for taxes, i think. Right . [ laughter ] [ applause ] marry him for taxes. [ applause ] we moved in together in 2001. I met him in 1981. So i did not live with him for 20 years. I lived with him for 10. And i wanted i didnt want to live with him all those years, because it kept the relationship hot. When he was there and i lived here. It was like hey the moment youre in the house together youre sharing the bathroom. Now its like now im on vagosam. What can i tell you . Wow. Well be right back, with the amazing rob lowe, who you know has something to say about all of this. Yes. Still ahead, barbaras catching up on some Little Things she never had the chance to when celebrity chef Rocco Dispirito helps her learn how to make the perfect omelet [ cheers and applause ] hey, its me, progressive insurance. You know, from our 4,000 television commercials. Yep, there i am with flo. 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Well, i just want more details on your hook up with colin powell. [ laughter ] no. [ applause ] right . I told you, i am a serious journalist. And i say, barbara, thats so last century. [ applause ] im going to stick with it. You are so busy. And youre so cute to come on here. Joy said, youre on, you have nothing to plug. I just come here to hang. Well, because i might also get a hook up. [ applause ] its in the air. Who knows, you have a good audience. Theres always the possibility. Right . So, behind the candelabra, i mean, you were almost unrecognizable as this creepy plastic surgeon. Dr. Startz. What . Dr. Startz. Whoo liberaces he was liberaces plastic surgeon. Yes. So, did you portray anyone . Did you [ laughter ] how did you get your eyes like that . Well, my eye, the look dr. Startz is a real guy, i did my own version of him. I did no research. Well show it. I want you to make scott look like this. Can you do that . I see. Oh yes, i think i can do what you want. Hes going to need a nose job. Im going to have to restructure his cheekbones and his chin with silicone implants. But its not impossible. But first we got to slim him down. I have a terrific diet, the california diet. Guaranteed loss of 15 pounds in four weeks. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you are creepy. Matt damon and Michael Douglas playing liberace and his boyfriend. Where did you come up with that look, the hair, the whole thing . Well, i sort of modeled him after these types of guys you would see at the laker games in the mid80s, eefts coast transplants came to california and went off the reservation. Yes. Yes. And sampling their own wears maybe, a little too much. And then the voice was a little bit of s