Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2

Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20160519

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 474. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that makes me feel so good, right there. I love you. I love you right back. Sending the love energy right back at you guys. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, you made it, this is your show, too. [ cheers and applause ] this is the whole point. This is the of its a good show tonight. Get ready. Its funny. Its gonna be good. Some silly stuff tonight. Steve yeah. Jimmy we all have fun. Heres what people are talking about first, you guys. We had a couple more democratic primaries yesterday, including one in kentucky, and get this, before the media could even project the winner, Hillary Clinton went on twitter and claimed victory. [ laughter ] people said, secretary clinton, isnt that a bit premature . And she said, please, call me president clinton. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, thats what were saying. But the big story is trumps primetime interview with megyn kelly last night. The two of them seemed to bury the hatchet and megyn kelly even gave trump her cell phone number in case he ever wanted to chat. [ laughter ] although, later when trump tried to call it, a guy picked up and said, dominos. [ laughter and applause ] i cant believe she did this. Its so rude of her. [ chee a bread, but thats it. I love italian food. [ laughter ] so authentic. In a recent interview, shark tank host mark cuban predicted that if donald trump is elected, it would be bad news for wall street. And in related news, donald trump just got endorsed by bernie sanders. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. The wall street. Check this out, according to newly leaked nsa information, workers at Guantanamo Bay enjoyed perks like a tiki bar, sailing, and snorkeling. [ light laughter ] so now we know why obama hasnt closed Guantanamo Bay. Hes gonna move there next year. [ cheers and applause ] steve vacation. [ light laughter ] jimmy and this is just crazy. Iran is accusing Kim Kardashian of being a secret agent. [ laughter ] bent on corrupting tir [ laughter ] yeah. It sounds more like what an iranian official said when he got caught looking at Kim Kardashian on instagram. [ laughter ] hes like, this is research. I think she might be a secret agent. [ laughter ] what are you talking about . Hey guys, last night, fox premiered its new reality dating show coupled. Yeah. I watched it for ten minutes and i thought, these two are not gonna make it. And then i realized i was watching the megyn kelly trump interview. [ laughter and applause ] and i go, well thats im about to watch the end of it. Either way, im good. This is pretty cool, telemundo is teaming up with buzzfeed on a millennial soap opera titled much ado about nada. [ laughter ] yeah, telemundo and buzzfeed, yeah. I love both. You know buzzfeed. Steve yeah. I love them. Jimmy got all the lists and the fun stuff. Well, they released the first clip of the soap o take a look at this. Maria, i know you cheated on me. And i have 22 hilarious cat gifs to prove it. [ laughter and applause ] you bastard. [ slap ] which seinfeld character are you . [ laughter ] which seinfeld character are you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well find out. We dont know what seinfeld character. Probably elaine but you dont know. Steve we dont know. Jimmy im more of a george today. I dont know. [ laughter ] google Just Launched a new app called carpool that can match you with strangers who need a a ride while youre driving around. Yeah. [ light laughter ] or as in nobodys seen or heard from dave since he used google carpool. [ laughter and applause ] thats a bad idea. Heres a local story. I saw that a man from new york proposed to his girlfriend by giant billboards in times square. [ audience aws ] it was a beautiful moment until times square elmo said, i give it two months. [ laughter ] i mean, they dont look like they like each other. Want to take a picture . Im elmo, im cookie monster. What do you care, what do you care, what do you care . Steve whoever you want me to be. Jimmy im whoever you want me to be. Steve youre gonna love the way you look. Jimmy im grover, whatever. [ laughter ] steve grover. Jimmy im having a bad give me a break over here. Come on. Lets take a picture, huh. Hold my cigarette. Steve hold my cigarette, kids. Jimmy hold my cigarillo. Hold up. [ laughter ] yeah. Now finally, i read that a a game of thrones version of the board game clue is now for sale. [ cheers ] its just like regular clue except that everyone did it in every room with every weapon. [ laughter ] we have a great show. Give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Thank you, roots. Its been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, the very funny seth rogen will be here. Steve oh jimmy we love seth. [ cheers and applause ] oh, hes a great guy. Then on friday, hes a multiple emmy and Tony Award Winning performer, one of the greatest oscar hosts of all time. The one and only Billy Crystal will be joining us. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love billy. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. We love it when he stops by. Here he is here, my twin brother. We look exactly alike. [ cheers and applause ] hes the star of the new movie neighbors 2 Sorority Rising, zac efron is here steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah we love zac. Neighbors 2. Later in the show, zac and i are playing water war. [ cheers and applause ] i cant wait. Havent played that in a while. Steve thats a good one. Jimmy yeah. Plus, here to tell us about his new movie, his new soccer team and his new clothing for kids, nba superstar Carmelo Anthony is dropping in. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy melo, my man steve melo jimmy love Carmelo Anthony. And we have great music tonight. These guys are like the biggest band out there right now. Steve its crazy. Jimmy i love it. A bunch of songs we love. Too late to apologize too late too late to apologize its too late its too late then they have like ten other giant, giant massive hits. What was the one, counting stars was another one. Its great. I was watching it today on youtube. It has over 1 billion hits. Steve a billion . Jimmy steve a billion with a b . Jimmy yeah, yeah. Steve thats nuts. A billion hits . Jimmy are you okay . Steve thats nuts. Jimmy yeah. No it is. Steve what . A billion . Jimmy yeah. Yeah, over 1 billion hits. Theyre just a giant, giant, giant band. Were so lucky and happy to have them. We have music from onerepublic right here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] theyre gonna perform their new single, wherever i go. Is their new single. Steve what a show. Jimmy theyre going to perform that tonight. I know. I mean, we just want to put on a good show. We want to make people feel good and have a great time. I mean, you guys know were always striving to get better here at the tonight show. Harder better faster stronger [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so before every show, we put out a suggestion box for the audience just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show. Things youd like to see us do. That kind of stuff. So tonight, lets look inside the audience suggestion box. Here we go. Whats inside the box suggestion box [ cheers andla jimmy these are suggestions from you, the audience. [ light laughter ] that you filled out. [ laughter ] steve yeah. That they filled out. Every show. Jimmy this ones from jay kriegel. Hey jimmy, have you heard of hyperloops . Theyre this new form of transportation that can shoot individuals around the world at speeds of over 700 miles per hour. You should demonstrate how one works on your show. Ive heard about them. I really dont know how hyperloops work. But we actually have our tonight show science correspondent standing by right now. Can you tell us a little bit about hyperloops, paul . Hi, jimmy. First off, my apologies, i had to pick up my girlfriends dog from the vet. Anyway, im standing here next to a working model of a a hyperloop. Now, they basically act like those tubes at the bank. [ suction sound ] oh jimmy oh, my goodness sweet mercy jimmy paul . Paul, are you okay, paul . Yes. A little rattled, but i think im good. I guess i should be happy it was the dog and not me that got jimmy oh, my gosh. Paul, paul, are you there . Paul . I wonder where he went. Hey, paul, hey. [ cheers and applause ] wow. How was the ride . It was better than sex, jimmy. [ laughter ] jimmy here we go. Lets just go to this here. This ones from mark roskams. Hey jimmy, have you ever noticed when politicians laugh, they sound so stiff . I wish you could make them sound a little more loose. Thats true, they always sound a little uptight. So we edited some footage of politicians laughing to help them cut loose a bit. Check it out. [ laughter ] jimmy there you go. [ cheers and applause ] hey, jimmy, im a little depressed. The only thing im hearing about these days is the election. Trump, clinton, trump, clinton. Frankly, its driving me crazy. Ill do anything to take my mind off of it. Can you help me out . Yeah, sure. Theres a group weve had on our show a few times. Theyre called two really fun men. And theyre two men who dont just like to have fun, they like to have really fun. [ laughter ] so here to help take your mind off of the election, with an original song, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for two really fun men [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, whenever youre ready, please, take it away. Donald trump or hillary whos it going to be thats all we ever hear about whilst watching the tv those candidates the country hates they simply are no fun so now we tht some things we think are fun one two two three eating ice cream is so much fun playing mini golf is also fun hanging out with friends extra fun going fast on a bike you guessed it fun surfing lessons fun in the sun eating hot dogs fun on a bun sister act 2 fun with a nun number one foam finger fun number one [ cheers ] kissing a girl is really fun falling in love is very fun getting married is super fun having a kid is a lot of responsibility youve gotta have patience and you gotta to be prepared its a fulltime job and it doesnt pay its frequently hard and its a learning process but when you look back its really fun four three two fun now when we say fun you say fun fun fun fun fun now when you say fun we say fun fun fun fun fun now on the count of three well say fun together one two fun together gotcha cruz fiorina 2012 jimmy wait a second. [ cheers and applause ] no, no, no. Thank you. We did it. We did it. We did it. Great job, buddy. You did awesome. Jimmy give it up. Two really fun men. Two really fun men. A little political at the end there. I didnt expect that. [ laughter ] this last one here is from dylan lasner. Hey jimmy, have you seen those videos of basketball players doing the running man challenge . where a song starts playing and someone pops out and starts doing a special running man dance. You should do that on your show. Im not no. [ cheers and applause ] im not the best dancer. Its usually two guys. Lets take a look. Heres a clip if you havent seen the clip. Heres what it looks like. At night i think of you i want to be your lady at night i think of you i want to be your lady jimmy yeah, its good. I mean, i just dont know if i could [ cheers and applause ] at night i think of you i want to be your lady maybe [ cheers and applause ] give it up for Carmelo Anthony [ cheers and applause ] jerry trainor. Thats all the time we have for audience suggestion box. Stick around. We [ cheers and applause ] whats it like to be in good hands . Man, its like pure power at your finger tips. Like the power to earn allstate reward points, every time i drive. Want my number . And cash back for driving safe. And the power to automatically find your car. I see you car and i got the power to know whos coming and when if i break down. You must be gerry. Hey. In means getting more from your Car Insurance with the allpowerful drivewise app. Its good to be in, good hands. Breyers Peanut Butter gelato, rich chocolate sauce. Peanut butter cups. Tonight is perfect. Can someone read me another story . Daddd . Mmm coming breyers gelato indulgences its way beyond ice cream. stranger good mornin store p. A. attention shoppers, theres a lost couple in the mens department. vo theres a great big unkhaki world out there. Explore it in a subaru crosstrek. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. I keep on walking, i keep on laughing. I do what i want, no matter what it takes. Its no ones business what i am doing, the only thing that matters is what is on the inside. And dont worry if they dont approve of you, whenever they criticize you just say. I am, am, am. I am myself, myself, myself. This is me. Vo for dominion, part of delivering Affordable Energy includes supporting those in our community who need help. Our Energyshare Program does just that, assisting with bill pay and providing free, energysaving upgrades. Its more than helping customers, its helping neighbors. Stand by me [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest stars alongside seth rogen and rose byrne in the new movie neighbors 2 Sorority Rising, which opens on friday. Later this summer, you can also see him in the movie mike and dave need wedding dates, which hits theaters july 8th. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome zac efron [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy looking sharp likewise. Jimmy looking sharp, buddy. Nice to see you. Come on, come on. [ cheers and applause ] we got a lot to get to. I want to get to neighbors 2. Congrats on that. Thank you, thank you. Jimmy you know im a big fan of neighbors 1 so im excited to talk about this. I want to know about this, because youre on the cover. [ cheers and applause ] you beat me out for the cover. [ laughter ] understandable, i guess. But i want to know how you got here from here. [ cheers and applause ] first of all, what is the story . Who is this guy and what happened to him . Is everything okay . That was me at i was at summer camp for the arts called csun. And i think i lied about my age to get in. I was actually an eighth grader. And they only let in juniors and seniors. And a few freshman. And i squeezed in. I got in with the freshman. And so it was just me and a a bunch of like a lot older girls. And they crimped my hair. [ laughter ] and i thought i was awesome. Jimmy yeah, they i clearly jimmy they crimped your hair, they wanted to see what youd look like or you just said yes, sure, go for it . Anything they told yeah. I just said yes. [ laughter ] that sounds bad, but jimmy yeah, no. I just kind of jimmy you cant you think you could still pull this style off . I dont know. I wouldnt [ cheers ] i mean [ cheers ] why do you just have these things . Jimmy just dont look. Act like this isnt even happening. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] yeah. I think its i think its not bad. Really . Jimmy its not bad actually. Does it look as good as it feels . [ laughter ] it feels amazing. Jimmy its actually not bad. I mean its pretty good. Why do you even have these things behind your desk . Oh, my god [ cheers and applause ] it suits you. Jimmy you know these dudes . I feel like im looking in a a mirror. Jimmy yeah, exactly. We should go to the club. Could you give us a beat . Give us a good beat. [ cheers and applause ] this is not bad, right . We can do this. I feel like i can like jimmy we can pull it off. It looks good. Its like night at the roxbury. Jimmy yeah, it is kind of like that. I love people just tuning in right now. Theyre like, this is normal. What the hell is going on . [ laughter ] jimmy i want to talk about i want to talk about neighbors. By the way, how was th did you just escape . [ laughter ] jimmy dude im in point break 3, man, what are you talking about . Oh yeah . Jimmy yeah. Follow my line, bro. Jimmy exactly. Come on, dude. Oh. Jimmy guess what. [ knocking ] hello . Hello . [ laughter ] jimmy hey, man. Whos this . Whats up . [ laughter ] jimmy its me, im your neighbor too. Ohh. Jimmy im jimmy, but im your neighbor. Oh. Jimmy neighbors 2. Neighbors 2. Oh, so should i play seth . Are you supposed to be me . Jimmy yeah, ill be you, yeah . [ laughter ] i always play you, im your stunt double, dude. Okay, ill be seth. Jimmy all right. Hey, come on, we got to, like, clean this place up before the cops find out. Are you kidding me . I dont want to help you. Youre an [ bleep ] idiot. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dude, thats a great impression, man. I was giving interviews with seth all day. So i kind of am talking like him anyway. [ light laughter ] jimmy but this ones got chloe moretz well, rose byrne. Basically what happens is i love how topical the jokes are. Theyre right up to date, because last time we saw you in neighbors, the first neighbors, you ended up getting a job as a shirtless model at abercrombie. [ cheers ] yes, im just its hard to take it seriously. Jimmy and youre but yes. That is [ light laughter ] jimmy dont let it be distracting. [ laughter ] work with it. Make it like an achievement. Well every time you do it reminds me of what i must look like, so jimmy no, youre pulling it off. Youre pulling it off. Its actually really good. Okay. So anyways, lets talk about the movie. Jimmy yes. Yeah, we left there. Jimmy well you because you were what do you call it . You were a shirtless model at Abercrombie Fitch and they got rid of the shirtless yeah. Jimmy dudes. In real life, Abercrombie Fitch jimmy they got rid of that. So now your characters out of a job. Yes, yes. [ light laughter ] was once the king of delta psi, in a very, very dark and sad place. Jimmy yeah. [ audience aws ] at the beginning of this movie, hes very lost. Jimmy oh, it ends well. It ends well. Yeah. Jimmy old navy. But its cool. Dont be deterred by that. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, no, its funny. Its really funny. Jimmy well this yeah, i dont want to go ahead, go ahead. Jimmy no, what were you going to say . I was going to say [ light laughter ] he does redeem himself. Jimmy yeah, exactly dude. Yeah, man. [ laughter ] jimmy i was going to say that, man. Dude, dont [ bleep ] touch me. Jimmy dont touch me, dude. [ laughter ] heres zac efron in neighbors 2 Sorority Rising, take a a look at this. Just you dancing is enough to distract the entire sorority . I dont know about that. Thatll work. Itll work. It usually works. I dont even know where we are right now. Okay. Okay . Im ready. All right. Let me no. I dont have the baby oil. Whats the big deal . No, its the most important thing. With baby oil, you get like two extra lines here. Really . Yes. Hold on, hold on, hold on. All right, lets go. Oh, thats hot. , ow, it burns. Whoo all right, rub it in. Rub it in. O

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