Mary j. Blige, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 665. Yeah. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on. I love it so much. Hello, hi. How you doing . How you doing . Looking good. Im good, how are you . [ cheers and applause ] hi, everybody, welcome. Welcome [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Im feeling good. Welcome everybody, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby, you made it. Youre here. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] heres what people are talk about, you guys. Im told that President Trump d wondered why the civil war ever happened. [ light laughter ] then education secretary betsy devos said, thats easy, captain america and iron man got in a big fight. [ laughter ] thats not. Stop it both of you, stop it. Not only that, trump also said that Andrew Jackson was really angry about the civil war, but Andrew Jackson actually died 16 years before it started. [ laughter ] some said hell apologize to jackson when they play golf together next week. [ applause ] so that hell hell take care of it. Dont worry about it. Actually i saw that trump defended all his trips that hes made to his golf courses, saying that he only goes there to hold meetings. Even guys who go to hooters for the wings were like, yeah, right. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] best wings, man spicy trumps keeping busy, in fact i read that he invited the leader of thailand to visit the white house. But trump thinks thailand is just a clothing chain that sells really long ties. [ laughter do you have anything in red that goes down to my toes . Thank you very much. [ laughter ] actually actually i think i think. Heres i think trump ties his tie normal and he looks in the mirror and he goes, that looks great. Then he goes, now lets go to work [ unintelligable ] [ laughter ] its a posture thing. Its a posture thing if anything. I read that trump is actually giving tours of the white house. Yeah, of course a lot of his visitors have questions on their tours so trump tries his best to answer them. For example when someone asks who planted the roses in the rose garden . Trump says, Chris Harrison from the bachelor. Steve wow. Jimmy hes trying to guess steve yeah. Jimmy when somebody asks, what happens in the treaty room, trump says, well when im good all day i go there and i get a a treaty. [ laughter ] today i had a fruit by the foot. Steve really . Jimmy he goes thats not why they call it the treaty room. Steve thats not why they call it [ barking ] jimmy donald, stop barking. Finally when visitors ask what kind of dishes you use for state dinners, trump says only the finest china. There you go. China. Jimmy were learning more about how trumps been holding up in the white house. In fact a senior official says that when you go in to meet with trump you dont need to make a power point, or bring a a bunch of paperwork, but a a sock puppet cant hurt. I mean he loves hes a a sucker for it. [ laughter ] pretty well known that trump doesnt trust the media. He actually had a pretty awkward interview with cbs just this weekend, and it turns out the only person hell allow himself to be interviewed by is himself. Its true, take a look at this, latest congratulations, donald, well done. Thank you. Youre a great competitor and very strong and very smart. Thank you. Jimmy there you go. Isnt that great . [ cheers and applause ] right . Youve very good. Youre very powerful. Youre very sexy. [ laughter ] oh this is a goody. I read that a hacker leaked the first ten episodes of orange is the new black. Americans are likec okay, you can mess with our elections, but now youve gone too far. Dont mess with orange is the w and finally everyone is talking about this fyre, is that how you pronounce it . Fyre . Steve yeah. Jimmy fy fyre Music Festival . Questlove yeah. Jimmy did you hear about this Music Festival in the bahamas, it was a disaster. That was a big disaster. The bands didnt show up, nothing was ready. Now the organizers are being sued for 100 million. [ audience ohs ] when asked how theyre going to raise the money they said, how about a Music Festival . Anyways, no. We have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i like that. Is that the George Benson version . Questlove on broadway, yeah. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you surprised that the crowd were that they didnt soul clap . Questlove they didnt soul clap this time. Jimmy but you thought did you thth jimmy me too. Cause usually our audience goes if you play it, play it again. [ clapping ] its a lot of work. Thats it. Thats what im talking about. Yeah, thats good right there. It is a soul clap. Push it up baby. Push it up. Questlove soul clap. Jimmy thats the thing that i love. They always keep my guessing. They always push it up. The audience. Yeah, you guy can do whatever you want. Im happy. Im happy. Guys, chris rock will be on the show tomorrow. Steve come on. Jimmy so be sure to tune in. [ cheers and applause ] hes my favorite dude. I love it when that guy, hes the funniest guy. But, tonight we have an unbelievable show. She is an icon. Oh, i just met her backstage. Im freaking out. She stars alongside amy schumer in the new film snatched, goldie hawn is here. Goldie hawn is here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, from the new netflix movie small crimes Nikolaj Costerwaldau is right here. [ cheers and applause ] also the host of the record setting podcast, stown. Im not going to give any spoilers on it. Steve no spoilers. Jimmy nothing, im barely going to talk about it, but i cant wait to talk to him. Brian reed is stopping by. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy have you have you listened to it yet . Steve yes, ive listened to the entire thing. Im not going to tell you anything. Jimmy alright except jimmy no. Dont, dont, dont. Higgins i higgins. Questlove are you no. No. Questlove not yet. Jimmy you havent havent listened to it yet. Questlove i know about it, yeah. Jimmy but im obsessed with this im obsessed with stown. Ive only done two episodes so far. But anyways, thats all you need. Its unbelievable. So get whatever you listen to your what do you listen to it on . Steve on my iphone. Jimmy do you have an app . Steve yeah, i have an app called podcast. [ laughter ] press a button. Jimmy is there an app called podcast . Steve yeah. Jimmy i dont use that. Steve what do you use . Jimmy its called overcast or something. Steve overcast . Jimmy yeah, its a weather app. Steve cloudy with a chance of meat balls. Jimmy it tells you the weather, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Oh, my gosh, so i cant believe saving the best for last. Are you kidding me . We have music from mary j. Blige is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my god steve wow. Jimmy i love mary j. Blige. Guys, it is time for tonight show kid letters, here we go. Tonight show kid letters kid letters tonight show jimmy we get letters from kids all over the world. They send us ideas, jokes, suggestions for the show. Theyre always great. So i wanted to share some with you right now. These are real letters from real kids. We did not make this up. First letter comes from autumn. Shes 7 years old. She said, dear jimmy, my family and i love your shows. You look like peewee. [ laughter ] steve aw, so sweet. Jimmy but not your hair, and my mommy wants to marry you, i think. I am weird just like you. [ laughter ] thats me, right there. Thats a good drawing. [ laughter ] jimmy this one is from harry. Hes age 7. To jimmy fallon, my name is harry, and im from england, and no, not harry potter, but i can do some magic. I know about your show because my sister is a fal pal. You are really funny. Lets cut to the chase. [ laughter ] i got no american friends. Will you be my baf, best american friend . P. S. , im 7. Also rawr. Steve yeah. Jimmy harry, i will be your best friend. Steve yeah. Jimmy right now. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, buddy. Steve rawr. Jimmy rawr. Oh, this is great. This ones from eisley and maggie, ages 4 and 5. Already i im such a mush now. Im a dad. Awe cute. Steve going to start crying. Jimmy but listen to listen to what they wrote. Good evening, jimmy poo. Eisley and maggie here. We are 4 and 5. We like a triangle because it has three sides, and if you put legs on it, and eyes, and mouth, and nose it is funny, and arms. Heres a drawing of you as a a triangle. Look at this. Look at this. [ laughter ] thats us hanging out. Steve yeah. Thats maggie and eisley. Its an isosceles. Jimmy thank you eisley poo and maggie poo. This next one is from grayson, hes 7 years old. He wrote us a joke. Steve oh good. Jimmy sent in a joke, lets see what it is. Dear jimmy, its raining cats and dogs in ohio, do you know how i know . I stepped in a poodle. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. Grayson, i like it. We should hire that kid. Grayson from ohio. This next ones from maddie, shes 9 years old. Dear jimmy, hi i am maddie, im 9. I love your show. I want you to do something. My brother is really mean to me, when you read this letter say james, stop being a butt to maddie for me, thanks, bye now. Funny. [ light laughter ] james, if youre watching, james, can we zoom in . Stop being a butt to maddie [ cheers and applause ] steve jiminy cricket. Jimmy grow up she could have made the whole thing up. I dont know. Okay, this is a long one. Its from kelly. Shes 10 years old. She said, hey, i love your show. I love your tv show, youre awesome. I like you, and that guy who stands by the microphone. [ light laughter ] steve aw. Jimmy you two make me laugh. You should give the guy who stands at the microphone a a seat. His legs must get tired. [ laughter ] steve yeah. Jimmy anyway. Anyway, im in fifth grade, and i like manatees, llamas, and elephants. I really like Pusheen Pusheen the cat. I drew you a picture of you as pusheen on the back. I hope your show goes well. Im 10 years old. What do you like . Have a good day. Lets look at that drawing of me as pusheen the cat. I dont know i dont know that cat. [ cheers and applause ] is that a famous cat . I dont know that cat. It looks cool whatever it is. Well, to answer your question at the end, what do i like . Pizza, and yeah. You bring up a good point. We should give higgins a chair. Can we get a chair for higgens steve . Steve . Steve oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy take a seat. Enjoy yourself. Perfect. Thats fantastic. Steve love it. Jimmy its great . Steve fantastic. I had a cramp earlier, now jimmy you let me know if i need anything, buddy. Steve can i get some water . Jimmy no. Were down to our last one here. This ones from leah. Look at this. It says, hey bro, can you dance . Because i love to dance. Can you do the nae nae . Because i can. [ cheers and applause ] i dont think i can do the nae nae. Want me do the nae nae . [ cheers ] is that the nae nae . Is that the nae nae . Can you do it . Thats all the time we have for kid letters. [ cheers and applause ] thank you to all the kids who sent the letters in. To send letters in to be read on the show email them to kidletters tonightshow. Com. Stick around, well be right back with goldie hawn, everybody. Why are you sitting there . Go sit over there. [ cheers and applause ] party up party [beatbox vocals] youre gonna rock the party mathat are 100 from dennys. Rs starting at 6. 99, which is 100 awesome. 100 beef burgers with fries starting at 6. 99. 100 seriously. Fromi wanted to seeved, this great country. My last wish is for you to do it for me, as a family. Love, grandpa. Let us be lovers, well marry our fortunes together older grandaughter itll be alright. I know. Grandson how did you meet grandpa . Grandmother actually on a blind date. [ laughter ] i wish he was on the trip with us. Hes sitting right between the boys in the back of the car. America all come to look for america all come to look for america lifes as big as you make it. The allnew 7seater volkswagen atlas with americas best bumpertobumper limited warranty. Can you say i love it . Oh love it . Can you say hey . Hey thats the spirit oooooh. Ooh ooh wooo wooo sing sing, baby baby i love you. Oh yes. Ooooh oooh. Everything little thing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an Academy Award and golden globewinning actress costarring with amy schumer in the new comedy film snatched, which opens friday, may 12th. Please welcome the very talented, the very lovely, goldie hawn [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey that is so awesome. Way to go to play that. Jimmy i know, of course. I mean, the roots, they put the thought into it. Come on. They really did. Jimmy they really do. Im happy to meet you. Im so happy youre here. I know, me too. Jimmy i love you. Youre one of my alltime favorites. And i know your daughter pretty well. I know. Jimmy kate hudson. You know her really well. Jimmy i do, but i never met you. But i love her. I love your whole family. Thank you so much. Jimmy thank you so much for being here. I miss you in movies. Oh, honey jimmy im so happy youre back. We miss you. [ cheers and applause ] when was the last one . Was it what was the last movie . Jimmy yeah. Banger sisters. Jimmy how long has it been . Its been 15 years. Jimmy 15 years. [ audience ohs ] can you believe it . I cant believe it. I really cant. It flew by. But i was doing something i cared about so much that my life just went into a whole different direction. And and im so excited about it. I decided to create a a program so people that, oh you left show business, right . Well, i produced and i wrote and did all that. Jimmy you did everything. I decided to produce, basically, a script and a story for children for school. And it has given them [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy how cool. What is it . Its called mind up. Its over 2 million children now in the world doing it. And its how to regulate their emotions, how to find more happiness in the classroom, and to understand how their brains work. And i think we should teach every child, everybody how their brains work. What is the neurobiology . If we say to a child, hey use your brain. They go, yeah, but whats what is it, right . [ light laughter ] so were doing that and its really exciting. Jimmy mind up. Mind up. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. I love that. I have so many questions for you but i really want to know we got to go fast. Jimmy i know, i know, i know. I know. We do. But i want to know about laugh its did you start as an a a comedian or an actor or dancer . I was a dancer. Since 3yearsold i studied ballet. And then i went to jazz. And then, i got a job here in new york. And i got a job at the worlds fair. And i had a real big job. It was like amazing. I was so happy. Jimmy what do you do at the worlds fair . I did the cancan above the bar. [ light laughter ] jimmy that is so cool come on. [ cheers ] yeah, i did. I was at the texas pavilion. It was awesome. And you know, i was jumping and kicking and doing all this. And whatever. And then, i went bus and trucked. I did all kinds of theater. And then, i went down to puerto rico and i danced in a a club there for a while. And i came back. I had you know, have dance shoes, will travel. I was a gypsy. Jimmy you just wherever you went you were just a a dancer. Yeah, thats what i wanted to do and thats where i wanted to go and i wanted to dance on tv. And eventually i did. But thats where i was picked out of a chorus line. An agent came up to me and he said, gee do you have an agent . And i said, no, i dont. And i [ light laughter ] so i literally forgot about it. You know . Jimmy is he hitting me . No he wants to be my agent. I forgot about it. But then i got a call from williammorrison. They said, where are you . And i went oh, my god, you mean it was really serious . And i drove there. And i got signed. And then i got my First Television show. Jimmy and which was [ cheers ] was it the laugh in . No, it was called good morning world. Jimmy really . Yeah. Jimmy what was a was good morning world now . It was a threecamera show. And it was done on the desilu studio lot. And it was like great. It had those were the times they gave you 26 weeks. So i did that and then George Schlatter came on the show. And i think billy wilder called him and said you should look at this girl for whatever reason, because she is crazy or whatever. [ light laughter ] and i ended up doing laugh in. Jimmy i mean but then, you do laugh in and then was it immediate that you became like americas sweetheart . Because we love you. Youre goldie hawn. [ cheers and applause ] but it happened fast. You know . Jimmy what do you remember like the first time . And it was it was like like no, i dont. But i do remember going around with my mom and people would introduce and go, oh, its goldie hawn or whatever. And to my mom would say, how do you feel about your daughter being on laugh in and being a a star . And my mom says, well, i have another daughter, you know. [ light laughter ] so its how i was raised. Jimmy thats interesting. You figure and ill tell you, this is more on a more serious note. When people get to notice you right away and youre 22 years old its a brain, you know what. I mean, you dont know what is going on. Jimmy right. And i learned that everybody sees you from their perspective. They dont see you. They see how they project on you. And it really helped me not buy into love or buy intte buy into good reviews. I just sort of put one foot in front of the other and did my life. Jimmy gosh. [ cheers and applause ] you did it well. You did it well. You did it well. Youve done everything. From comedy to drama to winning awards to producing. I mean, you are one of the first actors out there to produce and make great stuff. Thank you, sweetheart. Jimmy im so happy to have you here now. And im so happy youre back. Snatched. You and amy schumer. Yep. Jimmy i mean, come on. I know. Jimmy this is a perfect combo. It was so perfect jimmy its a perfect combo. I mean i cant believe it. You know, because i started feeling kind of an itch. You know, like i wanted to, like i thought, i wondered if i will i ever make people laugh again . Meaning [ light laughter ] jimmy yes. And you always do. You continue to. I know, i mean, but you know what i mean . Jimmy yeah. But anyway, amy came over. So i met her and i looked into it and we together made it happen. Jimmy well, you score [ cheers and applause ] you got to do one of the best seen on film. It was a great spit take. I dont want to ruin the joke okay. Jimmy but man, its great. Its really good. I want to show a clip. Heres goldie hawn and amy schumer. Oh, i should explain what the movie is about. Oh, yeah. Jimmy yeah. She decides to take her mom her date bails, her boyfriend breaks up with her. Yep. Jimmy she has no one to go to ecuador . Yep. Jimmy and so she asks you to go with her. And so its a momdaughter trip and it just gets crazy. Yeah and we get snatched. Jimmy you get kidnapped. You get snatched. Yes. Hence the title, snatched, here we go, goldie hawn and amy schumer in snatched. Take a look at this. Put this on. What is this . What . That is a rape rape whistle. Thats a rape whistle. This is a dog whistle, mom. Oh, well