And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 668. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i feel the love i feel the love. I give it right back to you. Thank you. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Baby, this is it. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for watching. About. Some big news out of washington. Today the house voted to pass the republican healthcare bill before taking an 11day recess. They say theyre going to use the break to kick back, relax and finally read the bill they just voted for. And you go, thats good. [ cheers and applause ] at least, they should read it. Steve a lot of paperwork. Jimmy actually when republicans in congress were rushing through vote on the bill today a reporter was there asking if they read it. And check out some of their responses. Watch this. Congressmen, have you read the bill . Have you read the healthcare bill . Have you read the healthcare bill . Have you read this bill, congressman . Congressman, have you read the bill . No, were in a hurry. Well be back. Jimmy seriously, i did a a better job lying on my book reports. [ applause ] get this. I actually saw that two democrats accidentally voted yes on the bill before switching their votes to a no. When asked if they were embarrassed, they said, no, yes. [ laughter and applause ] calling for the new republican healthcare bill to be called trumpcare. Experts say thats the first time the words trump and care have ever been said together. [ laughter and applause ] actually, Reince Priebus said that trump helped pass the bill by punting the ball into the end zone. [ laughter ] when told that analogy didnt quite make sense he said, i meant that he hit a grand slam into the net and slapped the puck right into the hoop. Is that better . [ applause ] of course, the other big story is that trump is scheduled to come back to new york city today. [ audience boos ] thats right. Yeah, roads were closed, traffic was a mess, everyone was in a bad mood and then it got worse when trump showed up. [ laughter and applause ] but the president s been keeping busy. Yesterday, he welcomed palestinian leader, mahmoud abbas, to the white house. All day trump practiced how to say his name by singing the wheels on the bus go round and round round and round round and round the wheels on the bus hello, mr. Bus. Its not mr. Bus. [ laughter ] i screwed it up. Hello, mr. School bus. Steve honk, honk. Jimmy mr. School honk. Mr. School bus. [ light laughter ] today, trump tweeted that the media is out of control saying, that they will do or say anything to get attention. [ laughter ] then he honked the horn of an 18wheeler, posed for a picture with kid rock, and accused obama of spying on him from his microwave. [ applause ] honk, honk. [ truck horn honk ] was that you . Steve no. That was fred. Jimmy was that fred . Was that you . You played [ truck horn honk ] you had a horn sound effect ready to play . Yeah. Jimmy fantastic. [ ding ] steve wow. Jimmy oh, my gosh steve oh [ applause ] jimmy big time. This is the tonight show, man. We dont fool around. We dont fool around. Right, slap sound effect. Hey [ laughter ] this is weird. Chick, chick. [ gunshot ] steve whoa jimmy all right, im freaking out. Never mind, never, mind. [ laughter ] i didnt know we could do all that stuff. Thats fun. Hey, guys, tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo [ cheers and applause ] steve yes jimmy raise your hand if youve been pregaming since st. Patricks day. Alright. Thats enough. Thats a lot of people. But did you see this though . President trump canceled his white house Cinco De Mayo celebration. Yeah, he made the decision after mexico said they wouldnt pay for it. Steve really . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, exactly. Steve wow. Jimmy as always, millions of people will celebrate Cinco De Mayo but Many Americans dont actually know that much about the holiday. So joining us now to explain more is tonight show write and selfproclaimed Cinco De Mayo expert, arthur meyer. Welcome, arthur. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. [ applause ] hello, jimmy, or as we say on [ laughter ] that means hello. Jimmy i know. So what can you tell us about Cinco De Mayo . Well jimmy, lots of folks think that Cinco De Mayo is mexican independence day. Wrong. It actually celebrates the mexican armys victory in a a battle over france. But the true spirit of Cinco De Mayo is you and me chilling with some coronas at your place. Jimmy wait, what . [ laughter ] chilling at my place . Yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah. Im thinking it will be a low key thing. You know, super cas. Ill bring my girl. Actually, theres no girl, so it will just be me. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not going to happen. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no. I got you muchacho. Just keep your door unlocked, ill slip in, well party. Super fun. Super chill. Low key. Fun hang. Super key. Chill key. Jimmy stop saying stop saying those things, please. Werent you supposed to be telling us what Cinco De Mayo is . Yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, totally, no. Yeah, no, totally, no, yeah jimmy arthur, arthur. All right, yeah, no. Jimmy arthur . How about you pick me up at 9 00 a. M. , spot me some taco money. We throw back some tequilas may be some sangrias, margaritas, super cas, we go out salsa dancing until 4 00 a. M. , then we get matching jimmy and arthur cinco buds forever tattoos and call it a night. Jimmy no that is not no [ cheers and applause ] whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Im not doing any of that. Especially im not getting matching tattoos. Well, i mean, could you reconsider . cause i already got mine. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah sure. My cinco bud forever, arthur meyer, everybody, right there. Yeah, no. [ cheers and applause ] it will be fun. Jimmy guys, listen to this. I read that japan [ laughter ] i read that japan is trying to hire more ninjas to entertain tourists. Well, we actually have an amazing ninja who works at our show. Dave, come on out here. Yeah, dave jimmy wasnt he great. Wasnt that fantastic . Amazing. [ laughter ] hes the best. Dont do that to me, dave. [ applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is Grammy Nominated musician, joey defrancesco, sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he knows how to do it. All night long is going to be here. Thank you so much for being here, buddy. His new album project freedom is available right now. Go download it wherever you can get records. Pick it up. I mean, youre the best. Thanks so much for being here, man. Oh man, thanks for having me. You kidding me . Jimmy im so happy youre here. Thank you, very, very much. Jimmy weve got fun show tonight. He is hosting saturday night live this weekend live everywhere and soon you can see him in the blockbuster movie wonder woman chris pine is here tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love him. We love him. Steve we like. Jimmy hes great, right . Steve hes great. Jimmy hes funny. He can sing. Its gonna be a good show. He can do characters, yeah its going to be good. Chris and i are going to play a a game of slapjack later in the show. Jimmy be sure to stick around for that. Im never good at this. Plus i cannot wait to talk to her. Shes funny, she is witty, shes cool. Im so obsessed with her and she couldnt care less about me. Fran lebowitz is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] we love fran lebowitz. And weve got great new music from halsey, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] halsey. Halsey. Hey, guys, as everyone knows, today is may 4th, also known as star wars day, may the 4th be with you. And, of course, that means tomorrow is may 5th, which is Cinco De Mayo. Now, a lot of people dont know this but also may 5th happens to be International Tuba day. Did anyone know that . [ light laughter ] it really is. So now star wars, Cinco De Mayo, International Tuba day. Thats a lot of stuff crammed into 48 hours. [ light laughter ] so we thought why not take it a a step further and try to combine them all into one super performance. So ladies and gentlemen, here now to perform an all a a special alltuba slash salsa medley of star wars songs please welcome the Rutgers University tuba section featuring the roots. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy may the 4th be with you. Happy Cinco De Mayo. Give it up for the roots and the rutgers marching band. Well be back with tonight show hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] shsale this weekend family and take an extra 20 off sale prices on a great gift for mom like diamond earrings for only 39. 99 take an extra 20 off a ninja coffee bar and new sandals are just 11. 99. Youll get kohls cash too kohls. Someday youll let me put my way ycomb up there air til then youre beautiful and i just stare can you say i love it . Oh love it . Can you say hey . Hey thats the spirit oooooh. Ooh ooh wooo wooo sing sing, baby baby i love you. Oh yes. Ooooh oooh. Everything little thing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ooh. That was really good. Ooh, yeah. That was fantastic. Was that nice . Steve late night jimmy welcome back. It is time for tonight show hashtags, everybody. Steve yeah jimmy here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy all right, guys. We do this thing every wednesday where i send out a a hashtag, and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. We like to play with you guys. So since its springtime and prom is just around the corner, i sent out a hashtag called, prom fail. [ light laughter ] i asked you guys to send us funny, weird, or embarrassing stories about your high school prom. We got a giant response. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. So thank you for getting involved. [ cheers and applause ] we love doing it. Dave, do we have my photo of my prom . She was very [ cheers ] that was loudetia. Steve very tan and very pale. Jimmy yes, im very pale in that shot, yeah. She was awesome. [ light laughter ] now i thought id share some of my favorite prom fail stories from you guys. Here we go. This first one is from peytonism. He said, everyone else had their arms around their dates, being the only single one, my friends mom had me hug myself for pictures. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, come on. Jimmy i wish hed sent a a picture of that one, yeah. Steve yeah. Jimmy this one is from hannahpolakowski. She says, my date decided eating at burger king before prom was romantic. He asked for a crown, placed it on my head, gazed into my eyes, and said, you can have it your way. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, take me home. Jimmy keep it greasy, man. This is emilypfeifer. She says, when we were getting our prom pictures, my dress was screen behind us. [ audience aws ] this is real. Look at the photo. [ laughter and applause ] steve wow. Jimmy thats fantastic. Steve i wasnt wearing any clothes. Jimmy thats great, man. This ones from stoop0589. He says, i was 52, and my date was 510 and a volleyball star. Look at the photo. [ laughter and applause ] oh, man. This ones from louisvillejenna. She says, i made the same stupid face while dancing at all three of my proms. Theres photo evidence. And [ laughter and applause ] i like that face. Steve oh whats up . [ light laughter ] jimmy i think shes cute. This ones from therappertco. He says, my date showed up on my doorstep with a bike and told me to get on the pegs. [ laughter and applause ] like, the bmx bikes. They used to have pegs on the back. Anyways, this last ones from mealy07. She says, while dancing in a a group, my prom date whipped out two laser pointers and danced with them, shouting, robo prom [ laughter and applause ] that sounds pretty fun. Steve oh, man come on, man. Jimmy that sounds fun to me, man. Robo prom . Steve robo prom. Jimmy can we dim the lights, get some music . Lets do this. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it, guys. Those are our tonight show hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] to check out more of our favorites, go to tonight show. Com hashtags. Stick around. Well be right back with chris pine, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ugh, no bars. Oh no, looks like somebody needs a new network. When i got this unlimited plan they told me they were all the same. Theyre not. Verizon has the largest, mostreliable 4g lte network in america. If it was just us out here . Right. So, i ordered you a car. Thank you. You dont want to be out here at night cause of the, uh, coyotes. Ok, thanks, bud. Bye. Be nice to have your car for some shelter. Bye. When it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Just 45 per line for four lines. Ahyou the law . Weve had some complaints of. Is that a fire . Theres your payoff, deputy. Git velveeta shells cheese. Theres gold in them thar shells. I dont think thats how theyre made. Klondike hooks up with tasty flavors. The best ice cream bars ever conceived. Of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. Every great why we cantwhy . Y here terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. avo charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is hosting saturday night live this weekend with musical guest lcd soundsystem. You can also see him in the new blockbuster film wonder woman, which is in theaters, 3d and imax, june 2nd. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome chris pine [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about. Yeah, man. Jimmy welcome. Thats how you make an entrance right there. Jimmy lets talk about this. Youre hosting saturday night live. This is a giant deal. This is actually live. I know. Jimmy no, no i dont wanna make ya im not making you nervous, but i am. I know, man. Jimmy its really live, though. Its going live everywhere. I k j jimmy i mean, l. A. At 8 30. Super live, yeah. Jimmy its at new york city at 11 30. L. A. At 8 30. Its a live, live show. Okay, we can stop talking about that. [ laughter ] jimmy are you nervous . Im terrified. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, i know. Are you excited . What todays thursday. So, its gonna no, im excited. So, yeah. Jimmy i heard that you you laugh a lot. You like to enjoy comedy. Like you. Jimmy whats that . You were my huh . Jimmy what are you talking about . [ laughter ] what are you talking about . Jimmy i wasnt going to say that. Yeah, i do like you were my favorite part of the show back you know, because you couldnt keep your stuff together. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] jimmy well be right back with more fran lebowitz, everybody [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, no, i had fun on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up i grew up a little bit. But i had you know, because i did after college i did a musical in l. A. And it was a very small musical in a very small theater. We didnt get many people. First musical. But we had one guy in the ensemble who every time i looked at him, i would start laughing. So i started doing this thing where i would just look past him. Just look right jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] and do an entire like fourpage scene with him. But then i couldnt jimmy that would make me laugh. But then i couldnt do that, because then i started laughing cause i was looking past him. [ laughter ] so there was no real answer. No real answer to the corpsing or whatever. Jimmy well, like, do it now. Just tell me a story about your first car or something, yeah. Does it look like hes looking at me . Jimmy . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] thats perfect. Jimmy thats perfect. Im mean, but its the first time hosting saturday night live. But theres a lot of good firsts for you this year. You were on the Barbra Streisand duets. Yeah, indeed. Jimmy Barbra Streisands duets. Yeah. Jimmy you sang a duet with Barbra Streisand. It was just me and barb. I call her barb. [ cheers ] jimmy you call her barb . No, i do not call her barb. Do you call her barb . Jimmy no, i call her miss miss streisand. Jimmy miss streisand. [ t jimmy shes the greatest. But how did how did you get the call . And how does i dont know jimmy thats nerveracking. That was well, that was nerverack i mean, and when i got the call, i thought i thought she just wanted to sing with me on the entire album. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Yeah. Jimmy wow. That must have been disappointing. Very, yeah. Jimmy its like, oh, thanks, but no thanks. Sure, sure. Jimmy absolutely, yes. Okay, you know, that makes sense. Jimmy ive gotta start practicing. Gonna start breaking out the old journals. Figuring out what i want to write about. Jimmy oh, you guys gonna write songs wow. No, no, and then they they just pitched me a couple songs and whatever, you know, song i jimmy you nailed it. You were fantastic. Thanks, man. Thank you. Jimmy and the album went number one. Yeah, it did jimmy youre on a number one album. Yeah, i mean, its pretty exciting. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know your suff. Easy peasy. But then youre in these number one movies. Your i like a you do kind of you do some smaller movies, but then you do these giant, big action movies. Star trek obviously comes to mind. The first one, but [ ch a heres the thing about i dont know how you do the scenes in star trek because i would i just dont know how to do like the shooting and the rolling i dont know how to do that either. [ light laughter ] jimmy how would you how would you audition for . How do you audition first . Did you go in and just roll around the floor in the office . [ light laughter ] well, no forget all cause in an action film with a a gun, they have a blank in it that makes it sound like youre, you know, shooting a a gun. In star trek you have something looks vaguely like a a stapler. [ laughter ] and you know. And youre doing these things and you it doesnt do anything but pew, pew [ laughter ] jimmy but you cant make those noises. I dont make a pew, pew, i try to give it some oomph. So i just [ phaser noise ] you know . Jimmy do you actually say that . I do that. Jimmy you go a [ phaser noise ] well, i mean, to get into the spirit of it. cause at first, your just again, you have just this plastic stapler, and youre like [ phaser noise ] you have to give it a little jimmy i had a fake fake gun. I was in a movie called taxi thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Grab my arm as he [ laughter ] that was perfect. That was great. [ laughter ] so we had i had this gun and i had to i had to shoot a a gun, you know, at something, at the robbers or something. And i kept going like po