And featuring the legendary ots crew. Questlove 734, michigan steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, thank you very much thank you very much welcome. Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the the tonight show. This is it. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. You look good. New york city, baby. Lets get to some news here. I saw that President Trump spent the weekend at camp david with his entire cabinet. [ light laughter ] not for meetings, he just didnt want to be alone after seeing the movie it. He was like [ cheers and applause ] john kelly. Have john kelly check under my bed again. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, education secretary betsy devos is going on a back to school tour this week and will visit wyoming, colorado, nebraska, kansas, missouri, and indiana. [ light laughter ] betsy says shes excited because shes never been out of the country before. [ laughter ] really excited. [ cheers and applause ] its going to be great. Last night, steve bannon did you guys hear this . Steve bannon was on [ laughter ] steve what happened . Jimmy steve bannon was on 60 minutes. He was on 60 and he said that trump firing james comey was the biggest mistake in modern political history. Except maybe electing the host of the apprentice president of the united states. But besides that [ cheers and applause ] a lot of people noticed that during his interview, steve bannon was actually wearing two buttondown shirts at the same time. Did you see this . [ light laughter ] ive never seen this before. Steve is that a move . Do people do that . [ light laughter ] jimmy two buttondowns, one over the other. Steve yeah. Jimmy look at this. We didnt this is real. [ laughter ] it was so did you see it . Questlove no. Jimmy you didnt see the thing . Questlove no. Jimmy watch what happens during the whole interview. Watch this. President made the wrong decision . I think that president made the wrong decision. You wanted him to go i think we have to focus on american citizens [ laughter ] so what would you do to people who came here. I think that [ talking over each other ] tell me what you would do. [ talking over each other ] when the work permits run out, they selfdeport. They selfdeport . Yes. [ laughter and applause ] steve i missed that. Jimmy it was the most bizarre thing. Steve yeah. Jimmy you would think charlie rose would bring that up. Steve you think he would have pointed that out to him. Why are you putting on more shirts . Jimmy didnt even bring it up. Hey guys, i want to say congrats to miss north dakota, who was crowned miss america last night. Congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] love north dakota. Did you see the talent portion last night . Miss louisiana gave a pretty impressing performance. Watch this. [ yodeling ] [ light laughter ] jimmy i loved it. [ cheers and applause ] you know backstage, miss alabama was holding one dummy like, oh, youve got to be kidding me. Two dummies . [ laughter ] jimmy i noticed that many of the contestants were asked questions about politics and world issues. Some of them did better than others. There was one contestant who didnt even get a chance to compete. Shes miss backup ohio. [ light laughter ] the rule is that she would only get to be in the pageant if miss ohio missed her flight. Well, we wanted to give her a a chance to answer some of the questions she would have been asked last night. So joining us now from her home in akron is miss backup ohio. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. Hello. Thank you. Hello, jimmy. I am overjoyed, and so happy to be here. [ light laughter ] jimmy we are happy to have you here, miss backup ohio. Are you ready for the first question . Yes, so much. I am so ready for this moment. [ light laughter ] jimmy okay. Heres one of last nights questions. There are multiple investigations into whether Donald Trumps campaign colluded with russia on the election. Did they . Youre the jury. Guilty or innocent, and please explain your verdict. [ laughter ] colluded [ stammering ] jimmy colluded, not precluded. Colluded. Jimmy colluded. Did Trumps Campaign collude colluded did trump pollute. [ laughter ] jimmy did Trumps Campaign the verdict. Jimmy do you think the campaign colluded with russia . The colluded is the verdict. The verdict is colluded. [ laughter ] jimmy no, no, no. The verdict is is colluded. Jimmy please explain your verdict. And its verdcit. Jimmy okay, thank you. All right. [ laughter and applause ] lets just go to try another question. Here we go. Okay. Jimmy given the evidence that injuries from playing football can cause brain damage, would you support legislation that outlaws fullcontact football in elementary, and high school . Yes or no, and why . Yes or no, and why. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, no, one of yes or no. And why. Jimmy and then why. Okay, so i pick one. [ light laughter ] jimmy why is not one of the choices. Its yes or no, and then why. Right. I just pick. Right of course, about football. Jimmy yes or no. Do you support football, football. [ laughter ] do i support jimmy football. Do i support football . Jimmy no, no, no i didnt ask if you support i support football. I love football. Jimmy you love football. All right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i dont know how you throw all right, last question. Youre doing great, by the way. Thank you so much. Im so happy. Jimmy heres the last question. [ light laughter ] 195 countries signed the paris agreement, in which each country sets goals to reduce manmade climate change. [ light laughter ] the u. S. Withdrawing from the agreement, good decision, bad decision, which is it and why . Good decision because it was i feel like its a a schoolyard. Run. [ laughter ] jimmy no, the paris agreement. The paris agreement. Jimmy yes, we are withdrawing the u. S. Is withdrawing. We think we dont want it. Jimmy what . We dont want it. Were withdrawing. Jimmy we did what . We withdrew. Jimmy yes, we are withdrawing. That is correct. We are withdrawing. Jimmy no, that is not the question. We withdrew. [ laughter ] jimmy no, we are we are withdrawing. Is it a good decision . Is it a bad decision . What did you say . Did you say it was a good decision. What did you just say . [ light laughter ] what did you just say . Did you just Say Something . Did you just Say Something . Jimmy yes, i said Something Back to you. What did you say . [ laughter ] jimmy im asking you a a question. I know, right. Jimmy what . [ stammering ] oh, its so oh, its so jimmy all right, thank you very much. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] best of luck next year, miss backup ohio, everybody. Miss backup ohio. Thank you. I dont know how you wave. Guys, i read that the company that makes heinz ketchup picked a 29yearold to be its new cfo. 29. Yeah, he was a little shy at the press conference, so they turned him up side down, and slapped his bottom until some words came out. [ laughter and applause ] you Say Something and finally, i read that a a woman is suing Delta Airlines because she broke a tooth on an inflight meal. Delta apologized, and said that under no circumstances should any of its passengers get an inflight meal. [ laughter and applause ] guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, roots. Thank you, everybody. Welcome. Guys, before we start, i want to mention the big telethon thats happening tomorrow night. It is called hand in hand hurricane benefit, it airs at 8 00 p. M. On nbc, and all the other networks. Theyre raising money for victims of hurricane harvey, and hurricane irma. Its a great thing. So many stars are helping out. Beyonce, jamie foxx, dwayne johnson, adam sandler, blake shelton, drake, justin timberlake, oprah, lots more stars as well, so tune in tomorrow, 8 00 p. M. , call in, donate, whatever you can do. Every little bit helps, and to all of our friends down in florida, stay safe. Were thinking about you guys. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it is monday. Were very happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up. Jennifer lawrence, julianne moore. [ cheers and applause ] jake gyllenhaal. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Benedict cumberbatch will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] we got performances from yo gotti, with nikki minaj. [ cheers ] we got andy grammar. Steve yeah. [ cheers ] jimmy featuring lunch money lewis. [ cheers and applause ] but first, tonight, hes the host of late night with seth meyers, which airs every night after our show here on nbc. Seth meyers is stopping by [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah. Jimmy great. Steve love that boy. Jimmy plus hes awesome. Plus the reigning nba mvp and the author of Russell Westbrook style drivers, Russell Westbrook is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hes a stylish dude. Steve yeah. Jimmy just an awesome, like, cool picture. Some of his styles. I dont know how he pulls this off. Steve i think i could pull that off. Jimmy i dont think so. Hes just the best. I just love the dude and hes awesome. Were going to talk about this, and then we have a little fun video game surprise. Then we have new music from super Group Prophets of rage. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is members of rage against the machine, cypress hill, and public enemy are on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] chuck d is in the house. Look at this. Look at this awesome vinyl. Can you zoom in on that. Can you see how red and cool . [ cheers ] beautiful, beautiful record right there. Its going to be a great performance at the end of the show. I can not wait. Guys, i read something recently that really disturbed me. American kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. Steve what . Jimmy yeah, and nobody seems to know how to turn this around. I think the problem is that todays kids just cant relate to oldfashioned things like numbers. Steve numbers . [ light laughter ] jimmy so weve updated math to make the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a segment called popular mathematics. Here we go. Popular popular mathematics mathematics [ applause ] [ light laughter ] jimmy that one more. Its so good. Popular mathematics mathematics [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so good. Steve wow. Jimmy its so good, that was just the intro to the bit. You can imagine how great the bit is. Steve how great the bit is going to be. Lets take a look at our first equation here. If you take dennis rodman. Steve sure. Jimmy plus starbucks spelling, it equals daenerys targaryen. [ laughter and applause ] so, you see what im doing . Do you understand . Steve no. No, i do not. Jimmy if you take Chris Evans Steve yes. Jimmy plus an air freshener. Steve yeah. Jimmy it equals chris pine. [ laughter and applause ] do you get it . Heres another one. If you take Steve Harveys mustache steve Steve Harveys mustache. [ light laughter ] jimmy plus a razor. Steve blade razor. Jimmy plus glue, it equals kim jong uns hair. [ cheers and applause ] thats actually that was actually Steve Harveys mustache. Steve Steve Harveys wait what . Jimmy glue it on to [ light laughter ] steve so, steve harvey glued his mustache on to kim jong un . Jimmy kim jong uh. Yeah, this is all math. Steve i dont get math. Jimmy if you take this is us, plus howie mandel steve thats a lot of them. Jimmy plus mountain dew. Steve oh my gosh. Jimmy plus it, it equals, this is how we do it. This is how we do it [ cheers and applause ] steve mathematics jimmy if you take jennifer hudson. Steve jennifer hudson. Jimmy plus one pez left in the pez dispenser, it equals jennifer lopez. [ laughter and applause ] were low steve low on pez. Because youre almost out of pez. Youre low on pez. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is a tough one. Jennifer lawrence. Steve okay. Jimmy plus grilling a a salmon, plus three hours later, equals laurence fishburne. [ laughter and applause ] steve because the fish is burned. Jimmy finally. Steve what . [ laughter ] my brain hurts already. I dont understand these at all. Jimmy you dont get this bit . Steve no, i do not. Jimmy last example ill give. Steve okay. Please. I hope i get it by then. Jimmy last example. If you take the good humor man steve good humor man. Jimmy minus viagra, it equals mr. Softee. [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for popular mathematics. Well be right back with seth meyers, everybody. Come on [ cheers and applause ] welcome hows it going . Hi okay, so youve got two friends here. Yes. This is the j. D. Power award for dependability. Now i want you to give it to the friend that you think is most dependable. Ohhhh. Ughh. Wow. Thats just not fair. Does she have to . She doesnt have to oh, i dont . No, but its a tough choice, isnt it . Yes. Well luckily, chevy makes it a little easier. Cause its the only brand to earn j. D. Power dependability awards for cars, trucks and suvs two years in a row. Thats amazing. Chevys a name you can trust ever wonder whats in a beer . If its a bud light, its four essential ingredients barley, rice, water and hops. Heres to the beer you can always count on. Brewed to be americas favorite light lager. Heres to the beer you can always count on. Sfx tmobile mnemonic sfx tmobile mnemonic sfx tmobile mnemonic tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right, netflix on us. Get four unlimited lines for just forty bucks each. Taxes and fees included. And now, netflix included. So go ahead, binge on us. Another reason why tmobile is americas best unlimited network. Sfx tmobile mnemonic [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by our late night counterpart here at nbc. His show, late night with seth meyers, earned a a welldeserved emmy nomination for outstanding writing for a a variety series. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome back our pal, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy seth meyers in the house. Thank you, everybody. Thanks for having me. Jimmy thank you for coming down. Looking good, buddy. I got a lot of questions for you. Good, lets get it going. Jimmy lets get it grooving, man. I want to talk about fantasy football. Fantasy football. Im so glad you brought it up. [ applause ] jimmy now, i dont know if thats sarcastic or no, im genuinely pleased you brought it up. Jimmy are you doing well already, or no . I won my first game, yeah. Jimmy you did . [ cheers ] yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you for showing the correct amount of enthusiasm for that. Jimmy now, how long have you been playing fantasy football . Weve been doing it our league is now, i think this is year 12. Jimmy wow. Its a big deal. We just i just spent the entire weekend in milwaukee with the 12 guys. Jimmy now, why milwaukee . That guy who won is from milwaukee, the guy who won last year. Jimmy oh, so you so if you win, you have to host everybody the next year. Jimmy oh, thats pretty fun. Its great. Its fun for the guy, but his wife and three children had to leave the house. [ laughter ] im not lying. They had to go elsewhere. They had to stay with inlaws. Jimmy oh, my goodness. So i want to thank them, the wife and children. Jimmy you went in there, and you get in there, everyone has their laptop. Yeah. Jimmy and you have your picks already out. We have we also have a a big whiteboard with stickers. Jimmy you really go for this thing. Yeah. And im in charge of getting the whiteboard with stickers. And its, like, 8 if you buy it a month in advance. But if you remember the day before jimmy 25. Its, like, 270. [ laughter ] jimmy what do you do with that board afterwards, just send it to the garage . Yeah, you just throw it in the garbage. Jimmy yeah, exactly. So we take it fairly seriously. Jimmy how do you research . Do you do, like isnt there this thing called, like, rotoworld or something . Theres a lot of different websites. I think a lot of us just look at those websites day of. Like, i dont think we plan that far in advance. Jimmy what i do is and i think youre gonna get mad at me. I autopick. Yeah, thats no good. Heres the thing about fantasy football. Its a fantasy. And so all 12 people have to agree to the fantasy. If one person jimmy your fantasy is you and 12 dudes in a house in milwaukee . Thats my dream. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy i didnt know what it was. I didnt want a talk show. [ laughter ] i didnt want to be on tv. Jimmy i dont want to have the biggest snow in late night. I cant believe that i couldnt find a place closer to milwaukee. Jimmy with my buddies, yeah. Yeah. But see, the thing is, like, when you have a fantasy football league, everybody has to care about it the same amount. cause if you have one person that breaks the fantasy, then the fantasy is ruined. If there was one character in game of thrones who said, ugh, dragons, right, that would ruin it. [ laughter ] okay, how many . Three. Thats convenient. [ laughter ] and that would just you dont want to see that. So thats what i dont want. Jimmy no, i know that. Yeah, if you have one person thats not in on the thing, id rather not have them at the party. Yeah, exactly. Jimmy im like that now with riverdale. Oh. [ cheers ] jimmy thats my jam. Thats my jam. Emmys made a mistake. They really messed up. Thats the best show on tv. I love it. I think that based on i dont think i would be a good person to watch it with you. [ laughter ] jimmy can you imagine sitting i havent seen enough of it. I think id have questions. Jimmy its fantastic. Really . Jimmy great. Yes i would say, like, does jughead have the hat . Jimmy he does, but they do it in a really cool way. See . But again, you would be wasting time explaining this to me while we should be watching riverdale. Jimmy exactly. Well, but no. Theres a murder. [ light laughter ] steve ooh. Jimmy that was a murderer to the steve is Michael Flatley killed . Jimmy which one . Steve Michael Flatley. The lord of the dance . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats riverdance, you idiot. This is riverdale. Steve all right. Jimmy dont even go into it. Dont even enter the wormhole because you wont come out. You know it. Steve i thought it was riverdance. My bad. You guys got a job to do. Jimmy i do love riverdance, as well. Oh, my god. Its unbelievable. Yeah. Jimmy heres you and your buddies. cause i guess you all get together. Last this is how insane you guys you guys end up didnt you break your nose one year . Yeah. So, the other thing about our fantasy football weekends is, instead of being 40yearold men who play golf, like youre supposed to do at that age, we play things like street hockey. And two years ago, i got my nose broken by a hockey stick. [ light laughter ] and when you go to the e. R. With a broken nose, thats not an okay reason to break your nose when your age starts with