And if you dont know who won, then, baby, you dont know the democrats. [ light laughter ] here is actual footage of democratic jon ossoff last night. [ cheering ] seth i would tell democrats to go back to go back to the drawing board, but it would probably fall on them and kill them. [ light laughter ] following two special election losses for the Democratic Party yesterday, one democratic congressman said, quote, our brand is worse than trump. Hey, thats our slogan, said united airlines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today was the longest day of the year, says sean spicer every day. [ laughter and applause ] new Jersey Governor Chris Christie said yesterday that he doesnt care about his recordlow Approval Ratings. Or apparently his recordhigh pants. [ laughter and applause ] a texas man recently changed his last name to trump. And it somehow made him more likable. [ laughter ] Discovery Channel is promoting its upcoming shark week by promising to have olympic swimmer Michael Phelps race a great white shark. But dont tell him, its a surprise. [ laughter ] and finally, a company has developed a smart duvet which could control a persons body temperature. The way it works is you kick it off. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. Shes the star of the new film the house. One of our favorites, amy poehler is here, everybody [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have her here also, she has worked for president george w. Bush as well as on the 2008 mccain president ial campaign. Shes currently the host of msnbcs deadline white house. Nicolle wallace joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so its a very exciting night before we get to all of that, Senate Republicans have been engaged in one of the most shameless, breathtakingly cynical exercises in political history, writing a Health Care Bill behind closed doors without telling anyone whats in it. And now there are reports that they may vote on it next week. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth you might remember that last month after narrowly passing their healthcare bill in the house, republicans held a giddy celebration in the white house rose garden with president trump, who was so happy to finally get a bill passed, no matter how unpopular, that he could hardly contain himself. Coming from a different world and only being a politician for a short period of time, how am i doing . Am i doing okay . Im president. Hey, im president could you believe it, right . I dont know. Its i thought you needed a little bit more more time, they always told me, more time, but we didnt. Seth no, you did. [ laughter ] you were less prepared for this job than a High School Sophomore working at chipotle. [ laughter and applause ] your white house your white house is like a poorly wrapped burrito. Its falling apart and were all going to get e. Coli. [ light laughter ] but since that ceremony, youve probably heard suspiciously little about the Gop Health Care plan. And apparently, thats by design. Its the bestkept secret in washington right now, it appears. Senate republicans under new pressure this morning to reveal their Health Care Bill negotiated in secret, behind closed doors. No one has seen what theyre coming up with or knows what theyre doing. There have been no hearings, no amendments, no public decision on a bill that affects a sixth of the entire u. S. Economy. Who is pulling the strings . Who is in charge . Who knows what is in that bill . This is a political houdini act. Seth yes, its like a houdini act. And like houdini, i wouldnt be surprised if trump started wearing a straitjacket. [ light laughter ] this is definitely for a magic trick. And not because im fully insane. [ light laughter ] now, if youre curious why the senate would go to such extraordinary lengths to keep their bill hidden from public view, its because the bill theyre working on is massively unpopular and both democrats and republicans agree. Remember, the bill is basically just a giant tax cut for the rich paid for by taking Health Insurance away from millions of people. The house bill cut medicaid spending by 880 billion dollars to give the wealthiest people a near trillion dollar tax cut. A plan that is so toxic just 8 of americans think the senate should pass the Health Care Bill, as is. 8 even the mummy got a 15 on rotten tomatoes. [ laughter and applause ] this bill is half as good as the mummy. [ cheers and applause ] in fact in fact, the mummy, might be the Health Care Bill. Doctor, this patient is sick wrap em up and put them in the tomb but they still think that if they keep it secret, we wont catch on and they can just pass it. The Republican Party right now is like a fat guy hiding behind a palm tree. Its like, hey, we can see you. [ light laughter ] that might be why trump, who repeatedly praised the bill and celebrated its passage at the white house, recently said in a private meeting with gop senators that the bill is mean, mean, mean. And called it, quote, a son of a bitch. Despite, you know, repeatedly praising the bill in public. What we have is something very, very incredibly well crafted. This is a great plan. This is a great plan. But very importantly, its a great plan. [ laughter ] seth its a great plan. In fact, im going to read it right here to prove its not mean and definitely not for the first time. Here we go, lets see, 23 Million People lose insurance. Son of a bitch. [ laughter ] yesterday, White House PressSecretary Sean Spicer was asked to explain why trump would call a bill mean that he praised in public. Can you shed some light on what it is hes not pleased with in the legislation that is being drafted . And can you also tell us why he would feel that way after holding a press conference in the rose garden supporting the houses version of the healthcare bill . I mean, the president clearly wants a bill that has heart in it. Seth i dont know. I cant imagine this president saying he wants more heart in anything. He seems like the kind of guy who watches marley and me and fast forwards to the ending. [ light laughter ] melania marleys about to get whats coming on him [ light laughter ] oh, i hate you, marley. [ light laughter ] in fact, republican senators willingly admit they have not even seen the text of a bill they could end up voting on as soon as next week. And seem almost blase about it. Like tennessee senator bob corker. Have you seen the the republican Health Care Bill . I have not. Have you . Have you . I have not. [ light laughter ] seth why are you asking him . Hes a tv pundit. Youre a senator. Doctor, whats that spot on my xray . I dont know. Do you . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in fact, when health and Human Services secretary tom price, the guy who was in charge of healthcare policy for the trump administration, was asked about trumps comment calling the bill mean, he couldnt even offer a straight answer. Secretary price, you are president trumps Top Health Care adviser. Do you agree that the house Trumpcare Bill is, quote, mean . Again, i think what we need to be taking about in terms of the Health System is the constellation of reform its a yes or no yes or no answer. No, its not a yes or no answer. Seth yeah, it is. [ light laughter ] think about that. The Health Secretary cant say unequivocally that this bill is not mean. Thats like if you asked your spouse, are you cheating on me . And they say, well, thats not a yes or no question. [ laughter ] this health care process should be the biggest scandal in america. The process is so indefensible that senator Bernie Sanders said this last week. He doesnt even have the words to explain whats happening in the senate right now. I mean, i am speechless when i try to describe what is going on here. Seth and it takes a lot to render Bernie Sanders speechless. I dont think ive ever seen bernie completely silent. Remember, even when hes not talking with his mouth, hes talking with his eyes. [ laughter and applause ] okay. So go over there and then go over there . And then go okay. And then oh, okay, okay. Even the president himself, the man who first celebrated the bill and then called it mean, has apparently not seen the text of a bill that could reorganize onesixth of the American Economy and take Health Insurance away from 23 Million People. As spicer was forced to admit yesterday. Has the president seen a draft of the senate Health Care Bill . I dont know that. Thats i know that there was some chatter today. I know the president has been on the phone extensively with the leader and with key senators. So i dont know if hes seen the legislation or not. Seth why do we keep asking this guy about the president . [ light laughter ] he clearly has never met him. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, we might as well ask my grandma what lil wayne is up to. [ laughter ] oh, gosh. I dont know, living in a little house . And when they do share details of what theyre working on with staffers or budget analysts, they do so in such secretive ways that those staffers have actually started to complain. The Washington Post reported that some have complained about overly general material and powerpoint presentations delivered quickly during policy lunches. Thats how [ bleep ] things are right now. People are complaining about powerpoint presentations being too short [ laughter and applause ] so republicans will face a choice. The polls have been unanimous. Americans overwhelmingly dislike this bill and do not want it to become law. And yet republicans are forging ahead anyway, which would be a colossal mistake. But dont take it from me. Take it from Bernie Sanders eyes. [ light laughter ] whats that . Okay. And then all right, great, thank you. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] over the course of 9 days. Steve chooses to walk 26. 2 miles, thats a marathon. And he does it with dr. Scholls. Only dr. Scholls has massaging gel insoles that provide allday comfort to keep him feeling more energized. Dr. Scholls. Born to move. [music imagination by andrew simple] whistle woo [sfx zip] with imagination, yeah yeah yeah with imagination sc johnson hungry eyes one look at you and i cant disguise ive got hungry eyes applebees 2 for 20. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Applebees 2 for 20. Bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brand, kraft real mayo is made with high Quality Ingredients at a price you can feel good about no wonder kraft is so good. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, he plays drums for jack white and will be out on tour this summer with jamie lidell. His band dmd have a breakthrough selftitled record that drops next month. Daru jones is here, everybody thank you [ cheers and applause ] so much for joining us. All right, moving on. A shakespeare in the park production of julius caesar, in which caesar resembled president trump, wrapped up its run this sunday. Conservatives around the country were up in arms about it. And last week, multiple performances were interrupted by protesters who rushed the stage. Including one who said they did it to, quote, protect the president s life. Which brings us to a segment we call really . with seth and amy. [ cheers and applause ] really . Really, protester . Now, let me get this right. You waited in line to get tickets to a play you already hated, and then you watched it for three hours and then you ran on stage to protest. But not the president , but someone who was dressed like the president from getting pretend stabbed with a fake knife . Really . [ light laughter ] seth really . I commend you. You know, if you want to change this country you just cant sit around your house yelling at the tv. You have to get out there and yell at a play. [ laughter ] really . you know what . Youve made actors so upset that Daniel Day Lewis has quit now [ laughter ] you made lincoln quit seth really . Yes lincoln was a republican, seth. A lot of people dont know that. Seth really . Yeah, really. Seth and really, if this portrayal was offensive to anyone, its caesar. Caesar was beloved by the roman empire. To put it another way, he won the popular vote. [ cheers and applause ] he was so popular, we dont use his name for pizza, we use it for pizza pizza. [ laughter ] the only thing caesar and trump have in common is they both have casinos named after them. And really, you could tell that caesar wasnt really trump, because the senate stabbed him instead of just passing his [ bleep ] Health Care Bill. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] also, protesters, this is new york city. If you want to interrupt a play, bring your grandpa and let him unwrap a werthers candy for two hours. [ laughter ] seth really. Because all you did by running on stage was make a shakespeare production entertaining for once. Really . seth really . When you pulled your stunt, that audience was definitely buzzed on rose and this close to passing out. All you did was give them an anecdote to tell at their fancy liberal cocktail parties. You know, i was at the caesar that was interrupted. Seth really . Really. Seth oh [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] yeah, it was amazing. So strange. Seth also, side really, shakespeare in the park. I dont think it was offensive to have a donald trump caesar, but it was a little hacky. I mean, really . If you want to the see a shakespearean drama based on trump, just watch cnn. [ laughter ] now, if you wanted to do of mice and men with pence as george and trump as lenny, i would pay to see that. Tell me about the rabbits, mike. I hear theyre the best rabbits. [ laughter ] really . Also, this is really important. Free speech isnt about just protecting speech you like. So if you think its terrible to interrupt julius caesar, you have to think its terrible to interrupt ann coulter, even if you think shes terrible. And she really is seth really [ laughter ] and sure, you can make the argument that shes not shakespeare. But if you shut her down, you give her power. And if you let her talk youll find shes much ado about nothing. Really. Yes really [ cheers ] thats true, seth. I mean, she gets to speak, too. Liberals cannot be hypocrites when it comes to free speech. Neither can conservatives. So, you know, dont whine about this, be okay with it when ted nugent says, president obama can suck my machine gun. And using my free speech, id like to say, you suck, ted nugent. Your songs suck. [ light laughter ] and cat scratch fever is such a dumb ass stupid song, you dip [ bleep ] [ laughter and applause ] seth really. Really. Seth really. So stupid. Your music stinks seth also, this is great. A conservative pundit tweeted that he was going to hold a production of the salem witch trials where hillary was burned at the stake. Cool, cool. Except there is no play called the salem witch trials. [ laughter ] youre thinking of the crucible by arthur miller, a play he wrote as an allegory about mccarthyism. There, now you have three things to google. [ laughter ] also, guess what, bro . You cant burn hillary at the stake. Shes already been burned twice. 2008 and 2016. My bitch is teflon now [ cheers and applause ] really . seth really . really . seth really . Announcer this has been really . with seth and amy. [ cheers and applause ] seth well be right back with amy poehler, everybody [ cheers and applause ] it all started when sophia found the Perfect Little mug at marshalls. Then piece by piece, surprise by surprise, she built the greatest guest bathroom ever. Did she expect to get so much bang for so few bucks . No. But great things happen when you choose surprise. Did she expect to get so much bahey grandpa. W bucks . Hey, kid. Really good to see you. You too. You tell grandma you were going fishing again . Maybe. vo the best things in life keep going. Thats why i got a subaru, too. Introducing the allnew crosstrek. Love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. Schick hydro ® vs a lube strip. With seven hydrating gel pools. That give you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Schick hydro ® free your skin. ® our bodies grow babies. We run marathons. Companies. Solve problems. How . We eat. We eat almonds. Strawberries. Quinoa. And yeah. We eat chocolate. We eat in sweatpants. In skirts. We eat alone. And together. Women are strong. We eat, and we own it. Special k. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody our first guest tonight is an emmy and golden globewinning actress who you know from the hit comedy parks recreation, and the films baby mama, inside out, and sisters. She stars alongside will ferrell in the house, which is theaters june 30th. Lets take a look. Im gonna get me a chunk of flesh. Yeah im so scared. Youre looking at a bad man. Ooh. Yep, this axe is burning a hole in my pocket. What are we doing . Yeah, what are we can we just conference on what were doing . Just you wait. Hold on. We need to focus up and figure out what we were going to do. Just just to be clear, were pretending. We have to send a message, okay . We have to send a message. Yeah youre bluffing. Hes a jerk. Hes making it easy. You know what . Im going to do this. Im going to do this. Wait, im gonna hey, hold on no, listen to me. Hey, hey, hey dont play around with the axe [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] seth please welcome back to the show, the one, the only, the amy poehler, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, buddy, how are you . Im good. Thank you. Seth so good to have you here. So great to be here. This audience is on fire [ cheers and applause ] seth its a really fantastic audience. Yeah, it is. Seth theyre very happy to see you.