And featuring the legendary roots crew. And now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness that is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] that is a great new york city crowd right here tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Here it is. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to be at. Thank you. Welcome. Heres what people are talking about, guys. Did you see this . The other day, President Trump tweeted that he turned down an offer to be Time Magazines person of the year. [ light laughter ] thats not all. Today, he said that he turned down the chance to marry prince harry. Steve really . [ laughter ] jimmy and he was very sad. Believe me, he was very sad. [ light laughter ] thats right. Prince harry and Meghan Markle are engaged. [ cheers and applause ] so, finally, a Success Story for tinder. You know . [ laughter ] i mean, thats thats good. [ applause ] but this is nice. Harry actually asked meghans father for his permission to marry her. [ audience aws ] her dad was hesitant, because he was hoping shed meet someone with a job. [ laughter and applause ] in an interview today, prince harry said that he and meghan got to know each other by having a lot of cozy nights in instead of going out to dinner. [ audience oohs ] or as guys everywhere put it, see, i do treat you like a a princess. [ laughter and applause ] we watch football every five hours well, after spending five days in florida, trump flew back to washington yesterday. And like always, the secret service had to leave a trail of reeses pieces to get him on the plane. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] elliot. Elliot. [ laughter ] this is embarrassing here. At a white house event, today, honoring native american war veterans, trump referred to Elizabeth Warren as pocahontas. [ audience ohs ] then the veterans called trump by his native american name, tweets with small hands. [ laughter and applause ] but as i mentioned, trumps still saying Time Magazine called to offer him person of the year and he turned it down. Im not sure if the call is genuine, because if you listen, you can hear hillary laughing on the other end. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] why, yes, my refrigerator is running. What about it . Actually, time responded to trumps claim, saying thats not how they select person of the year. They do a more official method. You offer it to beyonce and then work your way down. [ laughter and applause ] thats how you do it. But this is nice. The White House Christmas tree arrived the other day. And it will stay there for about six weeks. Which will make it the longestserving member of the trump administration. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve heyoh jimmy youre fired, tree. Its valentines day, youre fired. [ light laughter ] you guys, today is cyber monday. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. This is its the day millions of americans go online and enter their credit card info. Or as russia calls it [ russian accent ] its the most wonderful time of the year [ laughter and applause ] with the people all typing and the Miss Universe pageant was last night. Did you guys see that . And for the q and a portion, the contestants were asked pretty tough questions about world issues. Some did better than others. But there was one contestant who didnt even get a chance to compete. Shes miss backup usa and [ light laughter ] the rule is that she would only get to be in the pageant if miss usa missed her flight. Well, we wanted to give her a a chance to answer some of the questions that she would have been asked last night. So joining us now via satellite from her home is miss backup usa. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy are you there . Hello, jimmy. I am having the time of my life to be here [ light laughter ] jimmy well, its good to have you here, miss backup usa. Are you ready for the first question . Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Jimmy yeah, i got you. I heard you. Here we go. Heres one of last nights questions. Women make up 49 of the global workforce. Really . Jimmy what [ light laughter ] i didnt get to the question yet. Oh, okay. Jimmy what what do you believe is the most important issue facing women in the workplace, and why . All of those 47. [ light laughter ] jimmy sorry. Im sorry the 47 women. Jimmy wha what what parking. Jimmy i dont understand. Whats your answer . Must be parking. Finding a spot . Finding a parking spot . Jimmy finding a parking spot. [ laughter ] okay. Lets go to the lets just go to another question. Whats for lunch . Jimmy lets go another question, okay . Oh, were doing were moving on . Jimmy were moving on. Okay, good. Jimmy were moving on. Great. [ light laughter ] jimmy social media has become a prominent factor in the way we see one another. Yes. [ light laughter ] jimmy do you think social media has had a positive or negative effect on the way we judge beauty . Uh [ light laughter ] judging beauty. Jimmy yes. Is it guilty or innocent . [ laughter ] jimmy no, youre not judging an in jimmy not a judge, a a courtroom judge. Well, what jimmy its social media. Do you think it affects an affect jimmy how we how we jimmy judge beauty. Judge beauty. [ laughter ] jimmy thats your answer . You know what, judge of a a beauty. Jimmy the judge of beauty . The judge of beauty. The innocence of beauty. Jimmy yeah . Oh, can you imagine young babies . [ laughter ] jimmy sure, sure, sure. Sure, i can imagine i can imagine young babies. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Okay. This is the last question here. Thank goodness [ light laughter ] this is really jimmy are you doing all right, by the way . Are you doing okay . Mmhmm. Yes i love answering questions more than all of the other parts. [ light laughter ] jimmy all right. Heres the last question. Thank you. Jimmy youre welcome. What do you think has been the most important social movement of your generation and why . Both . [ light laughter ] jimmy what do you mean both . I have to say the social movement and i have to say the why . [ laughter ] jimmy you dont have to say lets just cut out the why part. Like having to show your work. Jimmy just what is the most important social movement of your generation. Okay. Jimmy yeah, just give me a a social movement. A social movement. Jimmy yeah, whats the most important one of your generation . Social movement. Could you use it in a sentence . [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy okay. What do you think has been the most important social movement of your generation and why . [ cheers and applause ] does that help . Okay. Jimmy yeah. Okay. Okay. So, so okay. Social movement. Jimmy movement. Any movement. Social movement. Jimmy any movement. Social movement. Oh, any movement . Jimmy sure. Movement. Movement socially. Walking while talking. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy walking while talking is a social movement . That is walking while talking. Walking while talking. Swimming while singing. Jimmy okay, good. [ laughter ] best of luck next year. Were rooting for you. Miss backup usa, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy via satellite from her home. Steve from her home. From her home. Jimmy from her home via satellite. Finally, you guys, i read about a multicooker thats selling like crazy called the instant pot. It has 40,000 reviews, all from people in colorado saying, this isnt what i expected when i bought instant pot. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes that is fivetime grammy awardwinning bassist Victor Wooten sitting in with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] you are fantastic. Oh, my gosh. His new album, trypnotyx, is out now. Thank you so much for being here, buddy. I appreciate it. Thats amazing. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you. Jimmy amazing. Holy man. Guys, it is monday. Were so excited to be back. We have a great week of shows ahead. Daisy ridleys going to be here. John boyega. [ cheers and applause ] Kumail Nanjiani and Queen Latifah will be joining us. Steve hey [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus we have performances from miguel and sam smith. [ cheers and applause ] big week. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. I love this guy. I wish he could come on every single night. Hes the funniest dude ever. Hes so talented. Martin short is here tonight. Steve come on [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes unbelievable. Steve yes. Jimmy plus from the cws jane the virgin and the new animated film, ferdinand, Gina Rodriguez is stopping by tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ferdinand, the movie. And we have great music from spoon, you guys [ cheers and applause ] yeah steve its hot. Jimmy hot thoughts. Spoon. Guys, thanksgiving is over. I hope you had a great thanksgiving. Christmas will be here before you know it. And if youre really looking for a cool gift idea, check this out. This is the this is the amazon echo show. All right . Yeah, check this thing out. Right . Its just like the amazon echo. So you can do handsfree calling, you can listen to music, and you can get the weather, get the news, get like 200 recipes for eggnog. Whatever you want to do. [ light laughter ] but it also plays video. Thats what makes it cool. You can even watch tonight show clips on it. Watch this. [ cheers and applause ] i need complete silence. [ light laughter ] why would i do that . Yeah. Ready . No. Higgins. Alexa, launch tonight show. Jimmy hey guys, jimmy fallon here. Just wanted to say a quick hello and welcome to the tonight show. Thanks, jimmy. You can play the latest monologue, listen to jimmys thank you notes, find out which guests will appear on upcoming episodes or hear show information. Which would you like . Jimmy alexa, play thank you notes. Jimmy guys, today is friday and thats usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. Yeah it works [ cheers and applause ] its amazing. It works alexa, home. [ light laughter ] alexa, home. Alexa [ light laughter ] anyways. [ laughter ] its a great gift. [ light laughter ] i love this thing. I feel like everybody should have one of these in their home. If you go to amazon. Com, you can find out more. Its really great. Wait, jimmy. Arent you forgetting something . Jimmy oh, thats right. Thank you, alexa. I almost forgot. Tonight, everyone here in our studio audience is going home with their very own amazon echo show [ cheers and applause ] you know whats up. Come on you know whats up. Yes come on thats how you do it. Alexa [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much to the generous people at amazon for doing this. Enjoy the amazon shows, everybody [ cheers and applause ] stick around. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. Jimmy pretty cool. Come on back, everybody, its fun [ cheers and applause ] try degree ultraclear black white saves your white clothes from yellow stains and black clothes from white marks still with 48 hour sweat protection. Try degree ultraclear black white it wont let you down toasting dad im not one but heres to. To many more years of friendship. And feasts crowd [laughing, cheering] to presents a mi familia que lo es todo. To being right here, right now, with you. Sfx dog bark. And you. Toasting dad i guess what im trying to say is, heres to family. Were proud to bring your family amazing value every day. T. J. Maxx. Marshalls. Homegoods. Family is the greatest gift. dog growls named after a star. Crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. Host one to remember. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Welcome back. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] great crowd. I love you guys. You guys, you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words . Well, its also worth one meme. Ill show you what im talking about. Its time for, this week in memes. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] this week in memes this week in memes yeah jimmy first up, lets take a look at this photo of attorney general jeff sessions. [ laughter ] this meme is called, when you the elf on the shelf and you see a naughty boy. [ laughter and applause ] steve i see him. Jimmy next is a photo of donald trump. [ laughter ] his meme says, when youre watching a movie with your parents and a sexy scene comes on. [ applause ] steve zoink. Jimmy lets take a look at this photo of bernie sanders. His meme is called, when you see your uber drive by you and now hes ten minutes away. [ laughter and applause ] i just saw him. Heres a photo of prince harry. [ laughter ] his meme says, when the edibles kick in. Oh. [ laughter and applause ] oh, wow. Steve i can move. Jimmy next is a classic photo of a dog. [ audience aws ] its meme says, when your mom had to go to work early and your dads never attempted pigtails. [ laughter and applause ] close enough. Next up, heres a photo of a a rooster. Its meme says, when you get highlights off groupon. [ laughter and applause ] next up, heres another photo of donald trump. His meme says, when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on at karaoke. Its like, oh. [ cheers and applause ] scaramouche scaramucci. Heres a photo of vladimir putin. His meme says, when you see the price of pistachios at whole foods. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Wow. Jimmy 50 bucks. Wow. Steve a piece jimmy and finally heres a a photo of kim jong un. His meme says, ermahgerd berg trek hernk hernk [ laughter and applause ] that was this week in memes. [ cheers ] well be right back with martin short, everybody. Come on back [ cheers and applause ] this holiday, the best gift you can give, is your time. Volunteer at neighbhorhoodofgood. Com. State farm. I met bruce i saw on his lapel ches got a purple heart. E bruce we started talking about the service. I outrank him. chris [laughs] yeah. Meals on wheels reaches so many people. Its impactful beyond anything ive ever done in my life. bruce the meals and his friendship really mean, means a lot to me. vo through the subaru share the love event, weve helped deliver over onepoint seven million meals to those in need. Get a new subaru and well donate two hundred fifty dollars more. chris and bruce put a little love in your heart. At tmobile, when you holiday together, great things come in twos. Like tmobile and netflix. Right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. Ho ho ho tmobile covers your netflix subscription. Best Christmas Gift ever . So you can binge watch all year long. Now youre thinking christmas and now when you buy any of this seasons hot new Samsung Galaxy phones, you get a second one free to gift. Thats one samsung for you. And one to give. Tmobile. Holiday twogether. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy holy moley. Welcome back, everybody. Our first guest is one of our absolute favorites. You can see him perform with another one of our favorites, steve martin, in their comedy tour called, an evening you will forget for the rest of your life. [ light laughter ] theyll be at the fsw Suncoast Credit Union arena in fort meyers, florida, on thursday january 18th. Please welcome our good friend, martin short, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] martin short they love you. We love you. I so adore jimmy we love you [ cheers and applause ] we love dont make him stand up again. Oh, he did it again [ cheers and applause ] youre my life blood i so adore being overwhelmed by love. Jimmy you are, you are. [ light laughter ] hi, james. Jimmy thank you for coming for the show. I havent seen you know the last time i saw you the last time i saw you was when you were hosting that Campaign Rally for roy moore in alabama, and [ laughter ] oh my god, were you on fire. Jimmy thank you very much. [ laughter ] that was the last time you saw me, yeah. Oh, i adore this show so much. You know, of all the talk shows, this is truth, this is the one that i pretend to care about the most. Jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] i mean, that is very nice. Thank you. I think of Carpool Karaoke is so strong. [ light laughter ] and mean tweets, i mean, its just you are a master of social media, which i think is powerful. [ laughter ] and even though i wasnt your first choice for a guest tonight, i understand that. But it doesnt really bother me cause charlie rose is such a a different type. [ laughter ] jimmy i will say though, you look fantastic. I do . Jimmy yes, you look fantastic. Well, you look [ cheers and applause ] you dont age. No, you dont age. Oh, i look like ive been carried out of shangrila. Jimmy no, no, no. You look fantastic. Well, listen, let me Say Something about you. And i know that men arent supposed to say this to other men, but you look stunning. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy stunning . Yes. Jimmy i will take it. I call your look, american psycho chic and i dont even know what that means. [ laughter ] jimmy you invented a new word. Really, i mean jimmy thank you. You never age, jimmy. You dont. You dont. I bet youre the only late night host that goes to a a pediatrician. Jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] so, whatever youre paying your makeup artist, i would double it. [ light laughter ] jimmy wow. And that that chair that that new booster seat youre wearing [ laughter ] theres a new presence, im telling you. Jimmy it gives me a a presence. It does, right . But i thought, you know, jimmy and i, weve known each other for many years. We have great conversa tell them, which i found interesting. [ light laughter ] what you were telling me backstage about why you feel that people should go to the bathroom where god intended them to. Like what is that jimmy lets talk about something more topical. Oh, okay. Whatever. [ laughter ] jimmy how was your thanksgiving . Did you have a happy thanksgiving . How was it . Oh, it was great. You know, i mean, the chinese food came like in eight minutes. [ laughter ] jimmy you didnt have turkey . I will tell you thanksgiving, in hollywood is very weird now cause of all the scandals and, you know, stars are afraid to say, can you pass the breast or thighs . I mean, you dont want [ laughter ] jimmy you dont want to dont even bring it up. No, no, no. Now if, you know, if someone unbuttons their pants under the table, you dont know if theyre full or just lonely, you know. [ laughter ] you were on the i saw, you were on the the float. Jimmy i was on, yeah, the thanksgiving day parade. I was on the float. [ cheers and applause ] it was so much fun. The roots. We had the most best time. You did . Jimmy it was so fun. We loved it. I had the greatest time. I was in a float too, yes. Jimmy i didnt see you. Well, im this is im not that guy, but many people said that i was the best mrs. Claus ever. [ laughter ] jimmy congratulations, thats great. I like a compliment. Jimmy but thanksgiving, you have comedian thanksgiving . Yeah, we