To go into the house. [ light laughter ] they did this to me. Anyway, we love it and we decided that as our Christmas Gift to ourselves were going to use this as our picture whenever we talk about donald trump in the monologue. Now [ cheers and applause ] lets get to the news. President trump today congratulated [ laughter ] President Trump today congratulated Senate MajorityMitch Mcconnell for passing the republican tax plan, tweeting, quote, i couldve not asked for a better or more talented partner. Mcconnell was so touched, his neck pouch blushed. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats right. The Senate Passed the republican tax bill late last night in a 5148 vote. Look how happy paul ryan is. He looks like a guy on law and order whose case gets thrown out on a technicality. They couldnt prove it was her bones. [ light laughter ] people online have begun suggesting that the logo for the 2018 world chess championship resembles people engaged in a sex position. [ laughter ] resembles . I cant believe theyre letting us show that on tv. [ light laughter ] thats how they play chess in Sorority Sisters volume 12. [ laughter ] new your city mayor bill de blasio visited iowa yesterday. He actually meant to visit queens, but the f train got rerouted. [ laughter ] the fda approved the first gene therapy yesterday to treat blindness. Said one patient seeing for the very first time, ahh make me blind again [ cheers and applause ] a couple in tennessee recently gave birth to a baby from an embryo that was frozen 24 years ago, which explains why its first word was, wazzup . [ laughter and applause ] a Little Christmas present from me. Arbys is giving away hoodies and sweatpants that are covered in photos of meat that they are calling meat sweats. [ laughter ] incidentally meat sweats is how President Trump introduces marco rubio. Ladies and gentlemen, meet sweats. And finally, this is the time of the year when you see a lot of holiday commercials on tv, and i saw one for chevy the other day that was pretty interesting. Lets take a look. This time of year is all about family. And wed like you to be a part of ours. So our chevy employee discount is now available to everyone. You pay what we pay. Not a cent more. Were so happy to share this with you. Its just our little way of saying, happy holidays. And welcome to the family. Welcome to the chevy family. Okay. Im going just come out and say it this sucks. [ light laughter ] all right . I worked my ass off for that employee discount and now theyre just giving it away to everyone . Bull [ bleep ]. [ light laughter ] all right, i was gonna quit months ago and my wife made me stick around so i could get a deal on a new equinox soon as the old one conks out. Now you want the same discount . You . . Some mouth breather sitting on your couch who doesnt know the difference between a catalytic converter or a crankshaft . Screw you [ light laughter ] you want to be part of my family . Fine you let my racist motherinlaw and her nine cats move into your basement, ass[ bleep ] [ light laughter ] use your employee discount for everyone to get 4,500 below msrp on this chevy equinox. [ applause ] happy holidays from chevy. Seth weve got a great show for you tonight. Hes a golden globe nominee for his role in baby driver, ansel elgort is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] her new book, newlywed kitchen, is available now. Martha stewart is back on the show tonight. E and [ cheers and applause ] here from miracle bar to whip up some holiday cocktails for us, nico de soto. So youre here on a great night. [ cheers and applause ] Great Holiday theme. Before we get to that, republicans passed a sweeping overhaul of the tax code that will overwhelming benefit corporations and the wealthy, amounting to nothing les than a brazen heist of the country. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth President Trump keeps insisting, despite all evidence to the contrary, that this tax bill will not be a boon to the richest americans. In fact, in the spirit of the holiday season, he keeps calling it a Christmas Gift to the middle class. This is going to be one of the great gifts to the middle income people of this country that theyve ever gotten for christmas. It will be the greatest Christmas Present that a lot of people have ever received. Were now one huge step closer to delivering to the American People the historic tax relief as a giant present for christmas. Remember i said were bringing christmas back . Christmas is back. [ cheers ] bigger and better than ever before. Were bringing christmas back. Seth it almost sounds like he was about to start singing. [ light laughter ] like hes doing a weird al cover of a Justin Timberlake song. Im bringing christmas back. Them other holidays are super whack. [ light laughter ] also christmas didnt go anywhere. Were all up to our necks in christmas. Every tv show has a christmas episode. Every commercial has a christmas song. Theres a 70 foot tree outside my Office Window and every barista in town is wearing antlers. If you want to bring Something Back try kwanzaa. That thing straight up disappeared. [ light laughter ] of course virtually every reputable study of the tax bill says that corporations and the wealthy will benefit far more than anyone else. For one thing, the Corporate Tax cuts are permanent, while the individual tax cuts expire, which means that by 2027 more than 80 of the plans benefits go to the top 1 , while 53 of taxpayers will see a tax hike. And if you just look at next year, the plans benefits are very heavily skewed towards the wealthy. Middle income taxpayers would pay about 900 less, where the highestincome 1 of households would get an average tax cut of roughly 50,000. Heres what that means in real terms. For middle income people. An extra 900 would pay for about seven months of gas. By contrast, those in the top 1 could pick up a nice Mercedes Cclass coupe with their 50,000plus average tax cut. So to recap if youre rich, youre getting a car for christmas and if youre not, go ahead and wrap up a can of gas. [ light laughter ] of course, republicans [ applause ] im gonna set this next to the fire and open it later. [ laughter ] of course, republicans cant point to any actual proof their plan would benefit lower and middle income, people so all they can do is repeat vague talking points about improving the economy. For example, ivanka trump, the president s daughter and advisor, tweeted this week, the entrepreneurial spirit that built the American Economy is alive and well under President Trumps leadership. With tax reform, Small Business and working families will thrive like never before. Prompting a response from her father, who wrote, so true, ivanka. Man, thats got to suck for eric and don jr. They tweet about their dad all the time and all they ever get is a broken upside down heart. [ light laughter ] whats the button for hate them . And yet despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, trump has repeatedly claimed not just that the wealthy in general would be hurt by the bill, but that he personally would pay more in taxes than he did before. Were also going to eliminate tax breaks and complex loopholes taken advantage of by the wealthy. Who are they . I dont know. [ light laughter ] i think my accountants are going crazy right now. Its all right. Hey look, im president. I dont care. I dont care anymore. I dont care. Seth oh we definitely believe that you dont care. [ laughter ] youre by far our most checkedout president. [ applause ] i mean, James Garfield worked harder than you after he was assassinated. [ light laughter ] you watch more tv than a sixth grader at home with the flu. Trump watches so much tv were like a week away from him tweeting about the price is right. [ light laughter ] plinko is obviously rigged and the wheel is fake news. I guess the price is wrong. Sad. [ applause ] now obviously, you cant know exactly how trump would benefit from this bill since he still refuses to release his tax returns. But we do know there are lots of changes that would impact him directly. For one thing, republicans lowered the top income tax bracket. There are also tax breaks for socalled passthrough businesses which includes the trump organization. There was even a lastminute provision added that specifically extends a new tax break for passthrough businesses to real estate investors. In fact, the bill has so many complicated tax breaks and giveaways, republicans are trying to argue that average americans would benefit from those tax breaks by really stretching the meaning of the word average. Take this tweet yesterday from texas senator john cornyn. Cornyn wrote, under the tax cuts and jobs act, a married couple earning 100,000 per year, 60,000 from wages, 25,000 from their noncorporate business, and 15,000 in business income, will receive a tax cut of 2,603. 50, a reduction of nearly 24 . Yeah, you know, that average American Family that has two kids, a house, a white picket fence, corporate income, noncorporate business income, three limited liability corporations, two s corporations, two c corporations. A commercial real estate venture, a limited liability partnership, carried interest, oh, and a dog. [ laughter ] [ applause ] average. You know, average. In fact, this bill doesnt even deliver on the flimsy pretext republicans initially gave for their tax plan simplifying the tax code. For example, the plan keeps seven different tax brackets rather than the three the republicans initially proposed. Former gop president ial candidate herman cain, who proposed his own tax code simplification plan called the nine, nine, nine plan was asked about that failure on fox news and didnt seem too troubled. Your plan had nine, nine, nine. This one still has seven brackets. It may not be as simple as you wanted, but is it a big win for republicans . Its not nine, nine, nine, but its fine, fine, fine. Seth look how happy herman cain is. Look how happy herman cain is. He cant believe they set him up for a rhyme. His public life is done. [ light laughter ] now hell just disappear, never to be seen again. No, herman, dont go. What will we do without you . Dont worry, youll be fine, fine, fine. [ light laughter ] seth and on top [ applause ] of everything else, this bill also adds nearly 1. 5 trillion to the deficit after years of gop hysteria about government spending. And republicans are already being very open about the fact that theyre going to use the deficits they created as an excuse to cut social security, medicare, and medicaid under the guise of socalled welfare reform. Last week, House Speaker paul ryan, a father of three, was asked about paying for those programs and said the problem wasnt that republicans are giving away billions to corporations and the wealthy, but that people arent having enough babies. The great thing about tax reform coming right now is were going to be able to create the kind of economy that produces good, family supporting jobs, higher wages, that will be there for people who are stuck in poverty and welfare to go to. This is going to be the new economic challenge for america people. Baby boomers are retiring. I did my part, but but, you know, we need to have higher birthrates in this country. Seth im sorry. You did you your part . You know who might have something to say about that . Your wife. If i had turned to my wife right after my son was born and said, well, i did my part, im pretty sure she wouldve picked me up and broke me over her knee like bane. [ laughter and applause ] it tells you everything you need to know about the trump era that this is how 2017 is ending, with republicans ransacking the country, taking healthcare away from millions and then telling women that the solution is for them to have more babies. Working and middle class people overwhelmingly dislike this bill. Meanwhile, corporations and the wealthy are looking at it and saying its fine, fine, fine. [ light laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with ansel elgort, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. We did it just in time for the holidays hey google, turn on the christmas tree. [ cheering ] when does the family get here . Theyre already here this house is for you us . all of us, to be together. Aw i love you man. Its just missing one thing. [ barks ] wow [whispering] i love you so much. [whispering] were gonna be best friends. [whispering]. Forever [alarm beeps] [barking] let out your innerchild at the lexus december to remember sales event. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. [alarm beeps] let out your innerchild at the lexus december to remember sales event. Lease the 2017 rc turbo for 299 month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Nfor hollywoods biggest stars. And, with his vintageinspired collection at kay jewelers, he designs them for the star in your life. The inspiration for this ring goes back almost 100 years. Its based on an art deco design. Over 50 diamonds all handset. Thats my philosophy design it to be beautiful. Then make it perfect. Neil lane bridal. At kay. The numberone Jewelry Store for. Yes. Every kiss begins with kay. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, weve been so delighted on this holiday week to have fred armisen back with us on the drums. Give it up for, fred, everybody. Fred thanks. [ cheers and applause ] seth and fred, very exciting because when youre here i get to talk to you about the stuff youre doing. And its very impressive. Its so impressive that i will admit times its so impressive fred that im not sure if i should believe you. Fred okay. [ laughter ] seth i feel like i feel like youre telling me things youre working on that you might not actually be working on. Fred uh, im working on stuff. Seth okay. [ laughter ] cause we were backstage and obviously Martha Stewart is here tonight. She is going to talk to us about one of her new cookbooks. And you were telling me that you were about to release a cookbook thats going to sell more than all of Martha Stewarts cookbooks combined. [ laughter ] fred thats exactly right. [ laughter ] seth do you want to give us some details about this cookbook . Fred yes, im developing something where im cooking with you know that prehistoric amber, you know when theres like a like a mosquito . Seth sure. I think famously in jurassic park. Fred yeah, yeah. Seth yeah. Fred so working with that amber, its actually a very its a really theres a nice flavor to it. [ laughter ] its a sort of its almost like rock. [ laughter ] you know . Like a sort of molten rock. So you melt it down and you flambe garlic in it and some oils. Seth so im sorry. This sounds like then its just the one recipe . [ laughter ] fred its the one recipe. Seth in the whole, entire cookbook . Fred and just you know, for dessert you put some corn flakes on it. [ laughter ] and its just really nice to cook with. Its very expensive. Because you have to go to a museum, like a Natural History museum. [ laughter ] but you know what . Its worth it. Because its the holidays and enjoy your food. Food is to be enjoyed. Thats the whole point of it. [ laughter ] seth so its a cookbook about prehistoric amber. And what is the name of this cookbook . Fred theres no title right now. Its going to be an untitled book. Because its about food. Seth okay. Fred and enjoying food and seth stop saying it like this. Youre so grossing me out, the way youre talking about food. [ laughter ] fred well please go out and get it. Seth how can people get it if theres no title . Fred thats a great question. [ laughter ] seth give it up for fred armisen everybody. [ applause ] our first guest tonight is a talented actor you know from the divergent series, and the fault in our stars. His performance in baby driver earned him a golden globe nomination for best actor in a musical or comedy. Lets take a look. So, what is it you do . Im a driver. Oh, like a chauffeur . You drive around important people. I guess i do. Anyone id know . I hope not. Well, arent you mysterious . Maybe. Maybe . So when was the last time you hit the road just for fun . Yesterday. Im jealous. Sometimes all i want to do is head west on 20, in a car i cant afford, with a plan i dont have. Just me, my music and the road. Id like that, too. Seth please welcome to the show ansel elgort, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome. Thank you. Seth congratulations on the film. Congratulations on your golden globe nomination. Thanks so much. Seth for those who havent seen, this is one of the great stunt driving films of the modern era. And is it true that you did some of the stunt driving . Yeah, i did all no, i did some of it. [ light laughter ] they didnt let me do that much stunt driving. Seth so what would they let you do, like, Parallel Park . [ laughter ] no, they did not definitely did not let me Parallel Park. Just regular parking. The problem so i did like ten stunt driving classes. And i actually learned how to drive like most of the stuff. Seth oh, well so so this is before the movie started, you put the work in. I put the work in. Seth yeah, okay. I wanted to know how to drive like baby. Seth yeah. But then when i actually got on set, i was like, okay, what are we doing . What are we doing . They said, youre not doing anything. [ laughter ] we got jamie foxx in the car and jon hamm in the car, youre not doing anything. Seth right. You know what i mean . And then when jamie foxx and jon hamm werent in the car then they let me do stuff. Seth oh, interesting. Yeah. Seth so they didnt want to risk the whole cast . [ laughter ] yeah, just me. Seth just part of it, yeah. Yeah. Seth and well it certainly paid off. You actually kept the car, is this true . cause i dont think ive never heard of this. I feel like in the fast and furious movies, they dont