What BDSM Can Teach Us About Consent As much as sex-positive folks love to say, “Consent is sexy,” and, “If it isn’t a ‘ Hell yes!’ it’s a ‘ No,’” (two statements I wholeheartedly endorse), the omnipresent existence of rape culture makes understanding the intricacies of consent a bit difficult. But there is a place we can all turn to for more knowledge about consent: the BDSM community. These folks are the ones who have it down. You may think that kinky people are all leather-clad daddies, donning custom harnesses in the underbelly of a dungeon somewhere, beating up some poor sod chained to the floor, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Well, yeah—sometimes leather-clad daddies smack around a submissive chained to the floor, but that’s not all kink is: It’s about trust, boundaries, and above all, consent.