[ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Very nice. Thank you. Hello, brooklyn. Appreciate that. Please sit. Sit, sit. Ive done nothing to deserve this. Thank you for watching at home. Thanks to the rest of you for braving Public Transportation to be here tonight. We are at the Howard Gillman opera house at the Brooklyn Academy of music in brooklyn, new york. [ cheers and applause ] night four of our week in brooklyn. Its so far been perfect, it really has. A beautiful night last night. Last night i wanted to feel like i live here so i did maybe the most new yorky thing a person can do. I put on a big, puffy jacket, went down to the subway, and forced people to buy my mix tape. [ laughter ] i went to see Bruce Springsteen last night on broadway. [ cheers and applause ]bruce al in america last night. And then the president tweeted and it was gone again. [ laughter ] i saw something if park slope this morning i want to ask about. Have you seen these . This is a real thing, the dog parker, a place to park your dog. Reasonable, rent is 3,400 a month, its not bad. This is a local invention. I looked it up, it was invented by a woman here in brooklyn who describes herself as a dog mom. She said she wanted to go more places with her dog but wasnt comfortable going into a shop to get coffee without locking her best friend in a miniature prison. [ laughter ] so she invented this. The door is controlled by an app, you pay and the app opens the door, put your pet in and it locks, which is perfect if you want to steal a doghouse with a dog already in it. [ laughter ] a quick way to know you shouldnt have a dog is if you think locking it in an easy bake oven while you get coffee is a good idea. This is a new york question. Whats the deal with your mayor . De blasio, is there something wrong with his brain . Okay, the yankees just won three games in a row. And might very well be [ cheers and applause ] going to the world series. And this is how the mayor of the city of new york celebrates. Dont expect to see mayor de blasio cheering on the yankees from the stands, the mayor saying he is such a diehard red sox fan it would be physically impossible for him to root for the yankees. [ audience booing ] jimmy i give him credit for honesty, but that might be the stupidest [ bleep ] thing i ever heard anybody say. Sorry for the profanity. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, what the you guys voted for a red sox fan . [ laughter ] its like i dont even know you anymore, it really is. Anyway, between this and the subway, i just want to say congratulations to bill de blasio on his final term as mayor of the city of new york. [ cheers and applause ] the yankees are now a win away from the world series after they beat the astros last night. Game sic is tomorrow in houston. The yankees were down 20 games and at least part of this magic is being attributed to a mets fan. Are you familiar with the thumbdown guy . This is the mets fan who last month when the yankees played tampa bay at citi field did this after a yankees home run. High drive, left field. There it goals. See ya off the facing of the second deck. A threerun home run for frasier. And the yankees lead 51. So apparently some of the yankees players saw this on the yes network and loved it and made it their thing. And now the thumbdown guy is getting a lot of attention. It all started with this, a todd frasier home run against the rays followed by this guy, gary dunair, the mets fan they turned that thumbs down into a rallying cry. The met fan went this so we followed up with it and kept going. If somethings good you do this. Gary has his face on a bobblehead. I became a star, i became the latest and the greatest internet sensation. Jimmy gary denier. He happens to be in our audience tonight. Wheres gary . Hi, gary. [ cheers and applause ] gary, how are you enjoying the show so far . [ laughter ] jimmy i think thats a compliment. We have a great show for you tonight. Billy joel and tracy morgan are here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] billy joel, i was going through his songs. Hes had more hits than Willie Nelson has taken. [ laughter ] and he will be here with the always hilarious tracy morgan. Sitting in with the cletones this evening, as he has each night this week, the originalable the inimitable hes a combination of original and inimitable. So hes the leader of bands against whom all others are measured, mr. Paul shaffer is here thanks, jimmy. Im with the cletones tonight. With the mini residency, here all week. Sad to see that its coming to a close, tomorrows my last night. Great to be with you, though. Jimmy you look like the oscar tonight, paul. [ laughter ] you know, jimmy, in hollywood, oscar is king. Jimmy thats right. I dressed up for you. Jimmy this is great. Just like america, we have canada above in paul shaffer and then, wait, where is mexico . Where is little guillermo . Oh, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy look at this. Oh, wow, look at that. Guillermo and his [ cheers and applause ] all right. All right, guillermo. Go to your spot. Yes, youve waved enough, yes. Guillermo all right, lets go. Jimmy all right, be careful. Everyone be careful. We got snakes and fire and everything. Guillermo guillermo thank you jimmy are you wearing a cup . No. Jimmy no, all right. That was the coney island circus sideshow, or members of Donald Trumps cabinet, im not sure. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] jimmy thank you. If youve never been to brooklyn, you should know this borough is home to some of the thickest and subcontractingliest beards this side of fallujah. It is remarkable. There are a lot of beards here. Even the women have beards in brooklyn. Sometimes im not sure if were in brooklyn or at a civil war reenactment. And so we thought it might be fun to make a game out of that. Heres how the game will work. Im going to show you a closeup of a beard, you have to guess if said beard is from belongs to someone from williamsburg or gettysburg, okay . [ laughter ] time to play Williams Burg or gettysburg . Here we go. Our first beard comes from this gentleman, is he from williamsburg or gettysburg . Everyone says gettysburg. Lets see. He is from gettysburg, yes. Next, does this weird belong to williamsburg or gettysburg . Everyone says williamsburg. Lets take a look. Williamsburg, bitches. Jimmy all right. Youre doing good so far. Lets see another. Everyone says gettysburg. And it is gettysburg. Jimmy thats right. Wow. Very, very good with beards. What is the origin of this beard . Williamsburg is the answer . Lets see. Is it . I aint from gettysburg. Jimmy next . Gettysburg . All right, lets find out. Gettysburg. Jimmy gettysburg is right. So far youve got 100 of them. Next . The audience says williamsburg. Williamsburg jimmy all right, who else do we have out there . Gettysburg the audience says . Gettysburg . Im from brooklyn. Bata buoy jimmy wow. Hit him with a high view. Hipster or soldier . Lets see. We have the audience says gettysburg. Get gettysburg. Jimmy oh, right. Are you looking at the beard or me . I dont understand. Jimmy dave lives in gettysburg now . Gary, what do you think of dave lettermans beard . [ applause ] this is our third time taking the show to brooklyn. And even since we were here five years ago, things have changed. I dont want to sound like an old crank. But i remember a time here in brooklyn when if you wanted to take a bike on a oneway ride, you didnt need city bike, you stole a bike and took it on a oneway ride. [ laughter ] bikes are very necessary now. The subway is a nightmare. Everywhere i go, people have been complaining about delays on the subway. Now the mta is trying to speed things up by replacing regular seats with foldable seats. Which is confusing. Because if the seats are folded up, where are people supposed to pee . [ laughter ] i guess the foldable seats will go up when the trains crowded . Basically the city heard your complaints and said, we have good news, from now on youll all be standing up. [ laughter ] you know what this train could use . More people on it. So anyway, the new york subway is not just crowded, its a crazy place. And to prove that, we went out on the street here in brooklyn and asked people getting off it to share the craziest thing they ever saw on the subway. What is the craziest thing youve ever seen on the subway . This one woman spilled her oatmeal. Then a kid, someone elses kid, tried eating it. So bad. This guy sitting next to me, he reaches into his cvs bag and grabs a deodorant and opens it and starts putting it all over his body. Like on top of his clothes. Just painting his body with this stick of deodorant. Its crazy but i see a lot of rats. Ones run across seven people, okay, im out of here. The buck nakedness, the naked women. People peeing in a cup, then when the train like stops they just drop the cup and the pee sloshed all over the train. I have seen an older gentleman chase a young woman with a cane, to beat her, for no reason. I saw a guy, like halloween, waiting for the train late night, and the trash barge showed up. This kid just got on the trash barge and rode it away. And im fairly certain hes dead now. I dont remember. As i said, i dont use the subway. But it wasnt crazy, it was very common when i was young, that men would stand on the platform outside and as you were in the subway looking out, they tended to masturbate. But it was, you know, sort of normal. You didnt even react to it. How fun. Yeah. Brought to you by the new york city board of tourism. Jimmy thats how grandma met grandpa. All right. We got a great show tonight. Tracy morgan is here. And well be right back with billy joel from brooklyn [ cheers and applause ] Nosy Neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. What happens next . Nothing. Only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. Guaranteed. Even the most perceptive noses wont notice the trash. Be happy. Its glad. When you ache and havent youre not you. Tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. We give you a better night. Youre a better you all day. Tylenol®. With flavors youll love. Re like new savory grilled mediterranean shrimp, topped with a blend of green onions, tomatoes, and herbs. And your favorites, like garlic shrimp scampi. Nows the only time to try as much as you want, however you want em. So hurry in today. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx jimmy paul shaffer sitting in with the cletones tonight. Tonight on our show, one of the funniest people ever to come out of brooklyn or any place, tracy morgan is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] hes one of my personal favorite people. Tomorrow night, another one, Woody Harrelson will be here tomorrow. Well have music from tony bennett, the tony bennett, not some knockoff tony bennett like theyve been trying to sell on the street, the tony bennett will be here. We just might have a special prize for you tomorrow night too. Tomorrow night our first guest tonight will play a recordsetting 45th consecutive soldout show at Madison Square garden. Tonight, though, he belongs to us. He is one of the great singer songwriters. And i couldnt be happier hes here. Please say hello to billy joel [ cheers and applause ] whats up, man . Jimmy billy, thanks so much for being here. Ive been wanting to have you on the show for a long time and im so excited youre here. Youre the king of long island, we know. [ cheers and applause ] long island, brooklyn technically, legally, is a part of long island. So youre our king as well. Welcome, king. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] brooklyn is on long island. Yes, it is. Have you been to the Brooklyn Academy of music before . Yes, i have. My grandfather used to take me here. They lived on flatbush and ditmas. Jimmy wow. We used to spend summers with them. Instead of going out to long island like most people do in the city in the summer, we went to brooklyn. Jimmy the other way. Yeah. This was our hood. Wed walk down flatbush avenue and go to the low east kings and see really cheesy movies. Jimmy you were also last night at Bruce Springsteen, which i was at that show, i didnt see you there. I will tell you that i heard that you were there. We assume you were backstage and were going to make a big surprise appearance with bruce at the end of the show. I asked bruce about that. Theres no special guest appearances. Jimmy no guests. No. So its kind of a scripted show. I was in the Abraham Lincoln booth. Jimmy oh. [ laughter ] in the balcony. Im looking at yes, you and howard stern. Im trying to wave frantically. Hey im over here, you da da da. Jimmy we were sure we knew something that nobody else knew, like oh, hes going to come out and hes going to do born to run with bruce and everybodys going to go nuts. I was trying to wave to you. Jimmy and were going, yes, we knew this was going to happen. Turned out no. Whats your favorite springsteen song . Probably meeting across the river. Jimmy really, okay, wow. Thats a good one. You know that one, paul . Its the one i dont know. C major 7 . G major 7 . C major 7. Lend me a few bucks can you give me a ride c major 7. I got a meeting g major. On the other side. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, boy. Its very its a very atmospheric springsteen song. Jimmy would you ever consider cog an intimate show like that, like the broadway show yes, we talked about it with bruce last night, why dont we switch off once in a while . You come do the garden, ill do your gig for a couple of days. I think were both making the same amount of money. Based on what the ticket price is. Jimmy the tickets were very expensive. You didnt pay for tickets to see bruce, did you . No. Jimmy no, no. I get freebies. Jimmy which comes first for you, the music or the lyrics when youre writing a song . Music first. Jimmy the lyrics, i think we all know every word from so many of your songs. I know i do for sure. You use a lot of the peoples names in songs. Yeah. Jimmy piano man. Davey whos still in the navy. Brenda and eddie. Youve got virginia, come out virginia. Only the good die young. Are they real people or people you made up . They were real names. I caught a lot of flack for, what a cheesy rhyme, davey in the navy the guys name was davey. Jimmy the guy he was in the navy. [ laughter ] so, okay, that will work. You know. Its like making love to his tonic and gin. Tonic and gin . The old guy was drinking, he didnt call it gin and tonetic, ill have a ton and i can gin. Jimmy you didnt flipflop those . No, he said that. I stole from everybody. Jimmy thats pretty great. Brenda and eddy, are they people you knew . They were kind of a combination. It sounded like people that i would know from my neighborhood. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, yeah. Brenda, eddie, sounds like people from where i come from. Jimmy a couple of paintings from sears. To me that more than any visual nails those people. Because these are people that i grew up with also. And its just such a how did that come to you . Do you have any recollection . Ive been to houses, peoples houses, where im looking at the painting on the wall going, thats a sears painting. Thats definitely from sears. Youve been there, youve seen this. Jimmy to sears, yeah, for sure. What about virginia . Is that based on just virginia . It was a real girl. A real girl, her name was virginia callahan. She was a virgin. Jimmy uhhuh. You know. The name worked perfectly. Jimmy when her dad heard this song while youre trying to get her to come out [ laughter ] did he become agitated, i would imagine . I dont know. I saw her years later. And asked her about that. She had no idea that i had a crush on her. Jimmy oh, wow. Yeah, i was too shy to do anything. I wrote the song based on my preteen lusts. Jimmy for virginia, wow. Yeah. Jimmy thats something else. She retained her virginity. Jimmy this album the stranger was released 40 years ago. [ cheers and applause ] which is crazy. Thats right, it is 40 years. Jimmy 40 years ago. Do you still have any of the stuff . The boxing gloves, the mask, any of that stuff . No, the suits gone, the gloves are gone, the mask is gone. Jimmy when you took this, it was a photo shoot, did you have any idea this would become such an iconic photograph . No, not at all, no. Jimmy you would have saved this stuff, had you. Look at this one, a great one too. That was a restaurant in manhattan on i think it was ninth avenue called the supreme macaroni company. Phil ramon founded it. These people on the wall, ive always wondered about them. Were these just the pictures that happened to be on the wall . They were there, that was the family that owned the restaurant. Jimmy they were immortalized on this album for alltime. That is so unbelievably great. This you could tell, its really authentic italian family, look at the wine glasses were drinking out of. Theyre like jelly glasses. Jimmy like jelly glasses. Thats the real deal. Thats what my grandfather would drink out of. Were going to take a break, come back. We have an announcement to make okay. Jimmy you know this . I dont know. Jimmy i have an announcement to make when we come back. Billy joel is here well be right back. Dicky portions of jimmy kimmel in brooklyn are brought to you by coke zero sugar. Gointoilet paper run, need anything . Hair spray bark snickers bitesized. Im on it. Get new, lower prices on thousands of items. Target run done. Sweet 4k tv, mr. Peterson. Thanks. Im pretty psyched. Did you get fios too . No, was i supposed to get fios . Mr. Peterson. Fios is a 100 fiberoptic network. Its like it was invented to stream 4k movies and shows. How do you know so much about tv and internet . The internet. Right. Streaming is only as good as your internet. So get the best internet with the 100 fiberoptic network get fios now just 79. 99 per month for fios gigabit connection plus tv and phone. A fighter for the working men and women of Atlantic County. Brown fought for whats right by taking on trenton special interests and standing up to Chris Christies takeover of atlantic city. He fought to protect jobs in our region and to defeat the north jersey casinos. And now brown is working to keep Atlantic County affordable for families and retirees. Lets keep chris brown fighting for us. Chris brown for state senate, hes on our side. Jimmy hey, were back. Billy joel, tomorrow night youre at Madison Square garden for the 91st time in your career. Youve played i dont think Patrick Ewing played 91 times at Madison Square garden. Its an unbelievable record. And you are youre going to extend your residency into january, from what i understand. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Were going to go into