And featuring the legendary roots crew. And now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness that is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] that is a great new york city crowd right here tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Here it is. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to be at. Thank you. Heres what people are talking about, guys. Did you see this . The other day, President Trump tweeted that he turned down an offer to be Time Magazines person of the year. [ light laughter ] thats not all. Today, he said that he turned down the chance to marry prince harry. Steve really . [ laughter ] jimmy and he was very sad. Believe me, he was very sad. [ light laughter ] thats right. Prince harry and Meghan Markle are engaged. [ cheers and applause ] so, finally, a Success Story for tinder. You know . [ laughter ] i mean, thats thats good. [ applause ] but this is nice. Harry actually asked meghans father for his permission to marry her. [ audience aws ] her dad was hesitant, because he was hoping shed meet someone with a job. [ laughter and applause ] in an interview today, prince harry said that he and meghan got to know each other by having a lot of cozy nights in instead of going out to dinner. [ audience oohs ] or as guys everywhere put it, see, i do treat you like a a princess. We watch football every five hours well, after spending five days in florida, trump flew back to washington yesterday. And like always, the secret service had to leave a trail of reeses pieces to get him on the plane. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] elliot. Elliot. [ laughter ] this is embarrassing here. At a white house event, today, honoring native american war veterans, trump referred to Elizabeth Warren as pocahontas. [ audience ohs ] then the veterans called trump by his native american name, tweets with small hands. [ laughter and applause ] but as i mentioned, trumps still saying Time Magazine called to offer him person of the year and he turned it down. Im not sure if the call is genuine, because if you listen, you can hear hillary laughing on the other end. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] why, yes, my refrigerator is running. Actually, time responded to trumps claim, saying thats not how they select person of the year. They do a more official method. You offer it to beyonce, then work your way down. [ laughter and applause ] thats how you do it. But this is nice. The White House Christmas tree arrived the other day. And it will stay there for about six weeks. Which will make it the longestserving member of the trump administration. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve heyoh jimmy youre fired, tree. Its valentines day, youre fired. [ light laughter ] you guys, today is cyber monday. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. This is its the day millions of americans go online and enter their credit card info. Or as russia calls it [ russian accent ] its the most wonderful time of the year [ laughter and applause ] with the people all typing and the Miss Universe pageant was last night. Did you guys see that . And for the q and a portion, pretty tough questions about world issues. Some did better than others. But there was one contestant who didnt even get a chance to compete. Shes miss backup usa and [ light laughter ] the rule is that she would only get to be in the pageant if miss usa missed her flight. Well, we wanted to give her a a chance to answer some of the questions that she would have been asked last night. So joining us now via satellite from her home is miss backup usa. [ cheers and applause ] are you there . Hello, jimmy. I am having the time of my life to be here [ light laughter ] jimmy well, its good to have you here, miss backup usa. Are you ready for the first question . Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Jimmy yeah, i got you. I heard you. Here we go. Heres one of last nights questions. Women make up 49 of the global workforce. Really . Jimmy what [ light laughter ] i didnt get to the question yet. Oh, okay. Jimmy what what do you believe is the most important issue facing women in the workplace, w all of those 47. [ light laughter ] jimmy sorry. Im sorry the 47 women. Jimmy wha what what parking. Jimmy i dont understand. Whats your answer . Must be parking. Finding a spot . Finding a parking spot . Jimmy finding a parking spot. [ laughter ] okay. Lets go to the lets just go to another question. Whats for lunch . Jimmy lets go another question, okay . Oh, were doing were moving on . Jimmy were moving on. Okay, good. Jimmy were moving on. Great. [ light laughter ] jimmy social media has become a prominent factor in the way we see one another. Yes. [ light laughter ] jimmy do you think social media has had a positive or negative effect on the way we judge beauty . Uh [ light laughter ] judging beauty. Jimmy yes. Is it guilty or innocent . [ laughter ] jimmy no, youre not judging an in jimmy not a judge, a a courtroom judge. Well, what jimmy its social media. Do you think it affects an affect jimmy how we how we jimmy judge beauty. Judge beauty. [ laughter ] jimmy thats your answer . You know what, judge of a a beauty. Jimmy the judge of beauty . The judge of beauty. The innocence of beauty. Jimmy yeah . Oh, can you imagine young babies . [ laughter ] jimmy sure, sure, sure. Sure, i can imagine i can imagine young babies. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Okay. This is the last question here. Thank goodness [ light laughter ] this is really jimmy are you doing all right, by the way . Are you doing okay . Mmhmm. Yes i love answering questions more than all of the other parts. [ light laughter ] jimmy all right. Heres the last question. Thank you. Jimmy youre welcome. What do you think has been the most important social movement of your generation and why . Both . [ light laughter ] jimmy what do you mean both . I have to say the social movement and i have to say the why . Say lets just cut out the why part. Like having to show your work. Jimmy just what is the most important social movement of your generation. Okay. Jimmy yeah, just give me a a social movement. A social movement. Jimmy yeah, whats the most important one of your generation . Social movement. Could you use it in a sentence . [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy okay. What do you think has been the most important social movement of your generation and why . [ cheers and applause ] does that help . Okay. Jimmy yeah. Okay. Okay. So, so okay. Social movement. Jimmy movement. Any movement. Social movement. Jimmy any movement. Social movement. Oh, any movement . Jimmy sure. Movement. Movement socially. Walking while talking. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy walking while talking is a social movement . That is walking while talking. Walking while talking. Swimming while singing. Jimmy okay, good. [ laughter ] were rooting for you. Miss backup usa, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy via satellite from her home. Steve from her home. From her home. Jimmy from her home via satellite. Finally, you guys, i read about a multicooker thats selling like crazy called the instant pot. It has 40,000 reviews, all from people in colorado saying, this isnt what i expected when i bought instant pot. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes that is fivetime grammy awardwinning bassist Victor Wooten sitting in with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] you are fantastic. Oh, my gosh. His new album, trypnotyx, is out now. Thank you so much for being here, buddy. I appreciate it. Thats amazing. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you. Jimmy amazing. Holy mackerel. Guys, it is monday. Were so excited to be back. We have a great week of shows ahead. Daisy ridleys going to be here. John boyega. [ cheers and applause ] Kumail Nanjiani and Queen Latifah will be joining us. Steve hey [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus we have performances from miguel and sam smith. [ cheers and applause ] big week. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. I love this guy. I wish he could come on every single night. Hes the funniest dude ever. Hes so talented. Martin short is here tonight. Steve come on [ cheers and applause ] hilarious. Jimmy hes unbelievable. Steve yes. Jimmy plus froe jane the virgin and the new animated film, ferdinand, Gina Rodriguez is stopping by tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ferdinand, the movie. And we have great music from spoon, you guys [ cheers and applause ] yeah steve its hot. Jimmy hot thoughts. Spoon. Guys, thanksgiving is over. I hope you had a great thanksgiving. Christmas will be here before you know it. And if youre really looking for a cool gift idea, check this out. This is the this is the amazon echo show. All right . Yeah, check this thing out. Right . Its just like the amazon echo. So you can do handsfree calling, you can listen to music, and you can get the weather, get the news, get like 200 recipes for eggnog. Whatever you want to do. [ light laughter ] but it also plays video. Thats what makes it cool. You can even watch tonight show clips on it. Watch this. [ cheers and applause ] i need complete silence. [ light laughter ] why would i do that . Yeah. Ready . No. Alexa, launch tonight show. Jimmy hey guys, jimmy fallon here. Just wanted to say a quick hello and welcome you to the tonight show. Thanks, jimmy. You can play the latest monologue, listen to jimmys thank you notes, find out which guests will appear on upcoming episodes, or hear show information. Which would you like . Jimmy alexa, play thank you notes. Jimmy guys, today is friday and thats usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. I check my inbox jimmy yeah it works [ cheers and applause ] its amazing. It works alexa, home. [ light laughter ] alexa, home. Alexa [ light laughter ] anyways. [ laughter ] its a great gift. [ light laughter ] i love this thing. I feel like everybody should have one of these in their home. If you go to amazon. Com, you can find out more. Its really great. Wait, jimmy. Arent you forgetting something . Jimmy oh, thats right. Thank you, alexa. I almoor studio audience is going home with their very own amazon echo show [ cheers and applause ] you know whats up. Come on you know whats up. Yes alexa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you so much to the generous people at amazon for doing this. Enjoy the amazon shows, everybody [ cheers and applause ] stick around. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. Jimmy pretty cool. Come on back, everybody, its fun [ cheers and applause ] megans a lawyer. When it comes to presenting evidence, nobody does it better. Shes also this close to finding bigfoot. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. Fortunately for megan, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Its simple, so she can understand the details and get approved in as few as eight minutes. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. Rocket mortgage by quicken loans. This is the allnew it offers rear seat reminder, builtin 4g lte wifi. Apple car play compatibility. Wow. And teen driver technology. Thats crazy. Yeah. Now to get all of the features, youd need all six of those crossovers. Thats insane yep, and you still wouldnt get everything thats in this equinox. Wowww. Six cars in one. Get zero percent financing for sixty months. Or two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars total cash allowance on this equinox lt when you finance with gm financial. 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Its time for, this week in memes. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] this week in memes this week in memes yeah jimmy first up, lets take a look at this photo of attorney general jeff sessions. [ laughter ] this meme is called, when you the elf on the shelf and you see a naughty boy. [ laughter and applause ] steve i see him. Jimmy next is a photo of donald trump. [ laughter ] his meme says, when youre watching a movie with your parents and a sexy scene comes on. [ applause ] steve zoink. Jimmy lets take a look at this photo of bernie sanders. His meme is called, when you see your uber drive by you and now hes ten minutes away. [ laughter and applause ] i just saw him. Heres a photo of prince harry. [ laughter ] his meme says, wh t edibles kick in. Oh. [ laughter and applause ] oh, wow. Steve i can move. Jimmy next is a classic photo of a dog. [ audience aws ] its meme says, when your mom had to go to work early and your dads never attempted pigtails. [ laughter and applause ] close enough. Next up, heres a photo of a a rooster. Its meme says, when you get highlights off groupon. [ laughter and applause ] next up, heres another photo of donald trump. His meme says, when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on at karaoke. Its like, oh. [ cheers and applause ] scaramouche steve scaramucci. Jimmy heres a photo of vladimir putin. His meme says, when you see the price of pistachios at whole foods. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Wow. Jimmy 50 bucks. Wow. Steve a piece jimmy fi his meme says, ermahgerd berg trerk hernk hernk [ laughter and applause ] that was this week in memes. [ cheers ] well be right back with martin short, everybody. Come on back [ cheers and applause ] its time for sleep numbers lowest prices of the season on the only bed that adjusts on both sides to your ideal comfort, your sleep number setting. And snoring . Does your bed do that . 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Try degree ultraclear black white it wont let you down i used to ask if you can hear me now, but i made the smart choice hi, im paul. And switched to sprint. These days all networks are great. 4 lines of unlimited for 25 a month with the 5th line free. 5 lines for only 100 a month. Thats 50 off the unlimited rates of the other guys. Its the best price for unlimited. vo dont let a 1 difference cost you twice as much. Plus, switch and get 50 off samsungs newest phones. Think about what you can do for people with hearing loss, with all that extra money. Visit sprintrelay. Com. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy holy moley. Welcome back, everybody. Our first guest is one of our absolute favorites. You can see him perform with another one of our favorites, steve martin, in their comedy tour called, an evening you will forget for the rest of your life. [ light laughter ] theyll be at the fsw Suncoast Credit Union arena in fort meyers, florida, on thursday january 18th. Please welcome our good friend martin short, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] martin short they love you. We love you. I so adore jimmy we love you [ cheers and applause ] we love dont make him stand up again. Oh, he did it again [ cheers and applause ] youre my life blood i so adore being overwhelmed by love. Jimmy you are, you are. [ light laughter ] hi, james. Jimmy thank you for coming for the show. I havent seen you know the last time i saw you the last time i saw you was when you were hosting that Campaign Rally for roy moore in alabama, and [ laughter ] oh my god, were you one. [ laughter ] that was the last time you saw me, yeah. Oh, i adore this show so much. You know, of all the talk shows, this is truth, this is the one that i pretend to care about the most. Jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] i mean, that is very nice. Thank you. I think of Carpool Karaoke is so strong. [ light laughter ] and mean tweets, i mean, its just you are a master of social media, which i think is powerful. [ laughter ] and even though i wasnt your first choice for a guest tonight, i understand that. But it doesnt really bother me cause charlie rose is such a a different type. [ laughter ] jimmy i will say though, you look fantastic. I do . Jimmy yes, you look fantastic. Well, you look [ cheers and applause ] you dont age. No, you dont age. Oh, i look like ive been carried out of shangrila. Jimmy no, no, no. You look fantastic. Well, listen, let me Say Something about you. And i know that men arent supposed to say this to other men, but you look stunning. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy stunning . Yes. Jimmy i will take it. I call your look, american psycho chic and i dont even know what that means. [ laughter ] jimmy you invented a new word. Really, i mean jimmy thank you. You never age, jimmy. You dont. You dont. I bet youre the only late night host that goes to a a pediatrician. Jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] so, whatever youre paying your makeup artist, i would double it. [ light laughter ] jimmy wow. And that that chair that that new booster seat youre wearing [ laughter ] theres a new presence, im telling you. Jimmy it gives me a a presence. It does, right . But i thought, you know, jimmy and i, weve known each other for many years. We have great conversa tell them, which i found interesting. [ light laughter ] what you were telling me backstage about why you feel that people should go to the bathroom where god intended them to. Like what is that jimmy lets talk about something more topical. Oh, okay. Whatever. [ laughter ] jimmy how was your thanksgiving . Did you