And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 798, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, looking good. Welcome, everybody, welcome welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. Youre here. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] its the show. Heres what people are talking about. You guys, i saw today that President Trump was asked about oprah running for president , defeat her. [ laughter ] then another guy said, oh, well, donald, theres only so much i can do for you. I mean [ laughter ] its oprah. [ cheers and applause ] donald, listen to me, donald. Trump invited the press to an immigration meeting at the white house and he let them stick around for about an hour. They said, this is the longest weve ever stayed here. And trump said, me too. [ laughter and applause ] go back to florida. That was fun. I want to say congratulations to alabama who overcame a a 13point deficit to win the College Football national championship. [ cheers and applause ] im just happy to say the words alabama and 13, and not be talking about roy moore. I, uh steve heyoh [ applause ] jimmy but trump actually went to the game, you see that . And a lot of people were saying it kind of looked like he forgot the words to the national anthem. Here you see what you think. I dont know. By the dawns early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming [ laughter ] jimmy trump denied that he forgot the words. He said that he never knew the words to begin with. [ laughter and applause ] hes like, you cant, you cant forget what you never knew. Guys, last night was a a brandnew episode of the bachelor. Yes [ cheers and applause ] there was this one part this one part here where arie was telling one contestant that he likes spending time with her, then he did this kind of, like, weird shimmy. Watch this. Its just one of those things where i like having you around, because you just make me happy. Thanks. Makes me feel special. Want a kiss . Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy it looked like two people trying to adjust their spanx. [ laughter and applause ] you want a kiss . Do you want a kiss . Yeah, i guess so. Its weird. There was a 15 person group date to a demolition derby. [ light laughter ] but not everybody was having a a good time. If you missed it, dont worry, because here to reenact that scene with actual lines from the show are the roots own tariq and questlove. Guys . [ cheers and applause ] tariq thanks, jimmy. Tonight ill be playing the role of annaliese. [ light laughter ] shes a 32yearold event designer from san francisco. Questlove and ill be playing arie. The bachelor. [ laughter ] jimmy great, whenever youre ready. [ light laughter ] questlove whats up . [ crys ] tariq im having a hard time. Questlove you are . Look, if you dont want to do it, you dont have to. Are you not comfortable with driving . Tariq no, no, im, like, fine with driving. I, like, did bumper cars when i was a kid and [ light laughter ] i, like, had a traumatic experience. [ laughter ] i i was doing bumper cars, and i just remember getting trapped in the middle and everyone just kept hitting me, and i was just crying, and i hated it. [ laughter ] i kept hearing that song [ singing circus tune ] [ laughter ] and the mirrors and the lights, and everyone just kept hitting me and hitting me and i just remember being, like, so alone and so scared. [ laughter ] questlove youll do fine. [ laughter ] jimmy there you go. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thats tariq and questlove. Ladies and gentlemen, tariq and questlove, right there. Thats it. Thank you, right there. Thats good. More than enough. Thank you. Thats thats more thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Guys the news for travelers here, i read that British Airways is getting rid of reclining seats on their planes. If you think thats bad southwest Just Announced that their new seats only recline forward. [ laughter and applause ] thats just mean, right . Oh, but this is nice. I saw that Princess Charlotte went to her first day of Nursery School yesterday. [ audience aws ] it was a little intimidating to the other kids. Like, for show and tell, she brought scotland. [ laughter and applause ] this is kind of weird. Last night at the Consumer Electronics show in vegas, there was a party that featured robot strippers. [ laughter ] they said the annoying thing about robot strippers is when you give them a dollar, you have to make sure its not crinkled, and facing the right way. Steve cinnamon. Jimmy uh [ laughter ] steve cinnamon 2. 0 [ laughter ] jimmy and finally i read about a company thats working on technology that would let your pet video chat with you. [ audience aws ] its fun to get a video chat from your dog, but depressing to watch your cat decline your call. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey thats what im talking about. You may recognize him as the keyboarder from maroon 5. Thats pj morton sitting in [ cheers and applause ] pj great to see you, buddy. Pj mortons solo album gumbo earned him two grammy nominations this year. Congratulations, pj. Thank you, man. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy always good to see you. That sounds great. Fantastic. Guys we have very exciting news here at the show. As you may have heard, were taking the tonight show to minneapolis for a special live show after super bowl lii. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] its our biggest show of the year. Weve got some big, big guests lined up. Im talking about the cast of this is us will be there [ cheers and applause ] im talking about dwayne the rock johnson will be there [ cheers and applause ] and a performance and interview with the star of this years super bowl halftime show, the one and only Justin Timberlake will be there [ cheers and applause ] thats how you do it. Thats how do you it. Oh we have a lot of fun stuff planned, some surpriseo on february 4th right here on nbc. It is a live tonight show. I cannot wait. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy but first we have a a fun show tonight. This morning he was nominated for a bafta for his role in the new movie paddington 2. Hugh grant is here [ cheers and applause ] thats a stud. Hes stud. Steve come on. Jimmy plus she wrote and directed lady bird, which just won two golden globe awards. Greta gerwig is stopping by. Steve yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fantastic. And we got great music from a ap ferg right there. [ cheers and applause ] as we all know, guys, a lot of news organizations rely on polls to determine how regular americans feel about certain political issues. But the Polling Industry is always trying to remain relevant. So theyve been releasing a lot of new polls about everyday life. Ill show you what i mean in our newest installment of tonight show polls. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show polls jimmy so they just want to make polls more relevant. Steve really . Jimmy thats exactly right. Steve why are they doing that . Jimmy our first poll [ laughter ] the first poll asks, are you dieting for the month of january . 75 said yes, 25 said those 75 are liars, i just saw them eat a doughnut out of a trash can. [ cheers and applause ] theyre not dieting. This poll asked, how did you spend your time during last weeks bomb cyclone. 40 said played a game of whos tears of pain can freeze faster. [ laughter ] 25 said made an Ice Sculpture of my cat. Oh, wait, thats actually is my cat. [ laughter ] 35 said unfriended everyone i know on the west coast. [ applause ] the bomb cyclone. Steve yeah. The bomb bomb. Jimmy this next poll asked, is donald trump a stable genius . [ laughter ] donald trump said, yes, dont i look stable . Im stable, im the stablest of all the stable people and the most stable. Very stable. Very genius, thats me. Do you have a diet coke . I like diet coke. Diet coke is very genius, like me. Me genius. Im einstein. [ laughter ] 99 said no. [ laughter and applause ] next they asked, what do you think was the greatest super bowl of all time . Xii said super bowl iii. [ laughter ] xxviii said super bowl xxvi. And lxii said super bowl xxiv. Steve wow [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, amazing isnt it . This next poll asked, are you a a surfer dude . 95 said no, 5 says chyeah. [ laughter and applause ] theyre making it more relevant. Steve new poll. Jimmy yeah. Steve theyre asking these people questions . Jimmy yeah. Steve wow, thats great. Jimmy next they asked duck or goose . 23 said duck, 20 said duck, 17 said duck, 15 said duck, 12 said duck, 10 said duck. [ laughter ] 3 said goose ah, yeah, gotcha [ laughter and applause ] oh, you should have seen your face, dude. Oh, man, you should have seen your face, man. Oh. Steve oh, my god. [ laughter ] jimmy this last one. Steve is this the last one . Jimmy it is the last one. Steve okay. Jimmy yeah. Steve aw, im sorry. Jimmy the last poll asked, is oprah qualified to be president . 20 said, um, are you kidding . 30 said, you know who the president is now, right . [ laughter ] 50 said of course shes qualified to be president. [ cheers and applause ] that is all the time we have for tonight show polls. Well be right back with more tonight show. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] your all you can eat riblets. Okay. Enjoy. Thanks. When i touch you like this and i hold you like that. Its so hard to believe baby, baby, baby. If you touch me like this and when you hold me like that. All you can eat is back, baby. Applebees. Eatin good in the neighborhood. Resolution 1 binge more. Join the uncarrier, and get four unlimited lines for forty bucks each. With netflix included. Watch however you want. On your phone, tablet, or tv. Lets rock this joint [ gasps, laughs ] you ever feel like. Cliche foil characters scheming against a top insurer for no reason . Nah. So, why dont we like flo . She has the name your price tool, and we want it. But why . Why dont we actually do any work . Why do you only own one suit . Its just the way it is, underdeveloped office character. Youre right. Thanks, bill. No, youre bill. Im tom. Mom stuffynosecold nosleep mouthbreather just put on a breathe right strip it instantly opens your nose. Up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone go to breatheright. Com today to request a free sample. with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body, no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, fantastic. Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to the tonight show. Thank you for being here. A hot crowd tonight. I love this crowd. You know, guys, i like to think that im a pretty easygoing guy. But theres one thing that gets my goat, and its bad music. No one should have to listen to bad tunes. Songs from real bands that i think you should avoid. In my segment i call my do not play list. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] do not play do not play do not play these songs these songs jimmy now, before we start, i just want you to know that a all, every artist here and song im about to play is 100 real. These are actual bands and actual songs. You can download them on itunes or amazon or see if your local music store has them. They are real. Quest, they are real. Questlove i dont believe it. [ light laughter ] jimmy lets see whats on my do not play list, here we go. This first one here is from an artist from the caribbean. A caribbean artist. Questlove oh, caribbean artist. Jimmy called super pink. [ light laughter ] first of all its not really even really pink, its more like magenta. So, were already off to a bad start. But the song is called toilet paper. Heres a roll of toilet paper with the word toilet paper written on it in case [ light laughter ] steve you didnt know what it was. Jimmy you dont know what toilet paper is. Yep. Anyways, lets take a listen to toilet paper. You know what to do pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper jimmy okay, i got ive got it, ive got it, got it. Stop, stop, stop i got it. [ cheers and applause ] was it on a loop . Steve yeah. Jimmy was that a loop or something . Steve those are the lyrics written on the toilet paper. Jimmy pat me down. Pat me down with toilet paper. Steve pat me down with toilet paper . Jimmy i think thats what he was saying. Let me down . Steve let me down . Jimmy pat me down or maybe let me down . Maybe he was trying to get lowered out of some place. Steve yeah, and he was going to make a toilet paper rope. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Pat i think it was pat me down. Pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat me down with toilet paper pat down. Next is a country singer. Steve oh, you love country. Jimmy i love country music, i really do. This is a. Harold rippy. There he is just hanging out in his living room. [ laughter ] steve there ya go. Jimmy it looks like he wasnt looks like he wasnt quite ready for the photo but steve yeah. Jimmy maybe, maybe hes ready to sing for us. Ste got a great voice, i dont know. Lets take a listen to his song called, come over and eat pizza tonight. [ light laughter ] baby cmon over and well eat some pizza tonight baby if you come over well eat some pizza tonight jimmy so sorry, sorry, sorry. Stop, stop it. It definitely, is not me. Stop it, stop it, please. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] i dont know, he likes pizza. Steve apparently. Jimmy he likes company. I think he needs a better microphone. [ light laughter ] sounds like he was under water. Uh, oh, this next song. Steve ooh. Jimmy is by a russian singer named sergei, okay . All right, lets see if you can figure out what the song is about just by looking at the cover. Any guesses . It took me forever. [ light laughter ] tennis. Steve oh jimmy yeah, took me forever. Its about tennis. Lets take a listen to this from sergei. You leap you drop you slide from side to side you chase the ball it makes you feel all right its tennis do you play tennis you leap run forward you barely save that ball it seems sometimes you play against the wall its crazy jimmy its crazy. Stop, stop, stop. Questlove i was into it. Jimmy you like it . Questlove yeah. Jimmy you like that one . Questlove thats my jam. [ laughter ] jimmy thats your jam . Steve thats your jam . Jimmy to play against the wall . Questlove thats my jam. Jimmy its tennis you go from side to side you go from side to side its tennis yeah, thats not that bad. Steve oh, was that sergei . Oh, nice. Jimmy yeah, the new sergei one, he just dropped it, man. Oh, this next one here, i know this dude. You know this dude. Rupert holmes. Steve ah, yeah. Jimmy the album is called partners in crime. Quest do you know rupert holmes, you might . Questlove yeah, the pina colada guy. Jimmy yes, he wrote the pina colada. One of the best songs and its actually on this album. Do you have if you like pina coladas getting caught in the rain if youre not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like making love at midnight jimmy all right, thats good, thats good. Thats a great steve thats a great song. Jimmy thats a great jam. God bless him, but theres another track on here called a called lunch hour. Steve oh, lunch hour. Jimmy lets see if thats good. Lunch hour lunch hour lunch hour lunch hour how do you find time to eat with some many people on the street and all of them hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry give me a sandwich to go jimmy stop, stop, stop, stop. [ cheers and applause ] you know, who cares . Steve yeah. Jimmy pina colada is a a great song. Steve yeah. Jimmy so, who cares . [ laughter ] oh, come on. Steve give me a sandwich to go. Jimmy hey, man, lightning strikes steve once. J were down to our last song, it is from a hiphop artist called d. J. Keemstar. Do you know him . Questlove no. [ light laughter ] jimmy you know keemstar . This song is called dollar in the woods. [ laughter ] steve okay. Is that dollar the one the arrow is pointing to . [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, you saw where hes pointing at . Steve yeah, yeah, i think i see where the dollar is in the woods. Jimmy there . Steve no, no, no. Jimmy there . Steve no, little lower. Almost no, thats a leaf. No thats a stone. Jimmy oh, there . Steve no, yes. Yay jimmy all right, good. Yeah, dollar in the woods this is d. J. Keemstar take a a listen to this. Yo, what up, party people . Its your boy keemstar i got to tell you this story. Walked in the woods found a dollar found a found a dollar walked in the woods found a ddollar found a dollar in the woods found a dollar in the woods walked in the woods found a dollar found a found a dollar walked in jimmy all right, all right. Dude, i dont think you can do you know that dude . Questlove no, man, no. Jimmy thats your boy . Yeah, thats my boy. [ light laughter ] jimmy can you do a little taste of walking found a dollar in dollar in the woods . The woods found a dollar found a found a dollar walked in the woods found a ddollar found a dollar i found a dollar found found a dollar found a found a dollar jimmy everybody. Thats all the time we have for do not play. If you have an album or a song you think we could use on our next do not play list. [ cheers and applause ] we want to see it, send your suggestions to our blog at do not play at tonightshow. Com. Stick around. Well be right back with hugh grant. Pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] evacumeteor heads toward as a the metro area. Go, go, go, go, go we can fit more. But theres still more room. We gotta go. Juicer . We dont have a juicer the allnew volkswagen tiguan. It fits the everything you need, and everything you dont. You doing your taxes . Yeah. Why are you using turbotax . Hm . Well h r block more zero lets you file online for free, even if you itemize deductions. 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Life looks good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a golden globe winning actor who was just nominated for a a bafta for his role in the new movie paddington 2, whic