Ontario bans non-essential jacking off
3 hours ago TORONTO – At a press conference this morning Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced that the province would be banning all non-essential jacking off to combat the rise of COVID-19. “Listen, folks. We all love rubbing one out, but right now we have to do our part to make sure we are only cranking the chicken when absolutely necessary,” said Ford, caressing his hairy palms. “You have to make sacrifices to get the pandemic under control. Especially those pervy yahoos in Toronto.” Ford clarified that, from now on, masturbating will only be allowed if it makes money for someone ...
Source: thebeaverton.com