Page 33 - Andy Borowitz News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

The dodge summer clearance event. right now get 0% financing for up to 72 months and no payments for 90 days on all dodge vehicles. the founder of amazon.com told reporters today that his report report reported purchase of "the washington post" was a gigantic mix-up, explaining he clicked on it by mistake, i guess i was just browsing on their website and not paying attention to what i was doing, he said. no way did i intend to buy anything. those words were written in "the new yorker" by andy borowitz, but the chinese news agency didn't know it was a joke, that he was a comedy writer.

Didn't know it was a joke, that he was a comedy writer. so they reported the amazon founder said the acquisition of the post was because of an unintentional mouse click. now, i have known andy since college, and i'm telling you now that was his most effective joke ever. up next, the most effective times report on how the nsa reads your e-mails. chances are, you're not made of money, so don't overpay for boat insurance. geico, see how much you could save.

Comes from andy borowitz. praising congress for the fiscal cliff dean is like giving an award for an arsonist putting out his own fire. hello? hello?! if your bank doesn't let you talk to a real person 24/7, you need an ally. hello? ally bank. your money needs an ally.

Well, it has something to do with this famous groucho line. i don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member. here is palin weighing in on "time" magazine's selection of president obama for person of the year. >> "time" magazine, i think there's some irrelevancy there to tell you the truth. consider their list of the most influential people in the country and in the world, some who have made that list, yours truly. that ought to tell you something right there. >> that ought to tell you something right there. there's the groucho connection. she can't be on board with the pick ...

There's some irrelevancy there to tell you the truth. consider their list of the most influential people in the country and in the world, some who have made that list, yours truly. that ought to tell you something right there. >> that ought to tell you something right there. there's the groucho connection. she can't be on board with the pick because they considered her back in 2008. humor columnist andy borowitz went in a different direction saying mitt romney could be person of the year if the year was 1912. he wrote a man of the year spoof. quote, even though his quest for the presidency w...