cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, good to have you. Stephen, stephen, stephen , stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephening Stephen Stephen welcome to the report, ladies and gentlemen, good to have you with us on this lovely monday night, in early march. Folks, some of you out there may not know t you may not know this, folks. I know some you know this but as a proud catholic, i have never really cared much for atheists. laughter if you are turning your back on gods christian teachings, then at least have the courage to call yourself a lutheran. But folks, the latest stunt by these nonbelievers is truly nonbelievable. A group called American Atheists is fighting to remove a cross on displace display at the soon to open 9 11 Memorial Museum saying the sight of it causes quote mental anguish. Stephen yes, this cross causes pen tall anguish for atheists. Who would otherwise have a carefree visit to the 9 11 museum. Now folks applause stephen fo
But that wasnt even ironic clapping. They are really excited. [laughter] canada, hmmm. This weekend was the annual gathering as the conservative Political Action conference. Conservative all stars headlining this weeks cpac convention. Its been part political convention, part pep rally. Its like woodstock for right wingers which is like lillith fair for dudes. Burning man for people who dont do drugs and are afraid of fire. Come on. Get it up. [cheers and applause] good morning. Jon get it up. Come on. [ laughter ] yeah, let me see your dicks. Oh, yeah. Take out and jerk it for america, come on oh, love it. Yeah, show me your balls and your shaft and i cant remember the third one. Hold on. [ laughter ] oops. [ laughter ] the head, head. Since being trounced obviously [laughter] that is the worst segue in the world to go from show me your dick guy to anyway, moving on. [ laughter ] having been trounced in National Elections by a communist muslim dictator mom jeans wearing pussy tyrant,
Prolive lick lets call them democracies. Turns out we might not need that extra dhair. Russia has issued an ultimatum to the Ukrainian Military in crimea to leave their post torque get out, to turn over their bass business 5 00 a. M. Tomorrow or else the bases will be stormed by russian forces. Jon that is blaitant naked aggression or at the very least disturbingly shirtless aggression, yeah. [laughter] but with this aggression it looks like putin has gone heil titler. [ laughter ] which makes you wonder if Vladmir Putin he was even paying attention at the olympics, remember, vlad, the brotherhood and spirit of cooperation or did you consider the parade of nations a browsing opportunity . I like that uniform id invade them. Need it, need it, want it. Puty is this because you have more golds than anybody else . You realize olympic wins are not internationally binding, right . Unless norway was three gold medals away from embarking on a pickled herring quest for world dom in addition. Di
cheers and applause stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen thank you for joining us, everybody. Folks, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause . Its good to have you here. I justice want to say and i dont say this every night but this is a special night here, especially in the world of late night. Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin, i want to begin by welcoming my friend jimmy fallo but jimedy, youre going to do great. Everyone should check out jimmys show ons from. laughter applause last night was an historic occasion because i walked on and poured coins all over jimmy. Of course dumping change on each other is a latenighthost tradition going back to when steve allen bludgeoned jack paar with a role of quarters. Jimmy was so happy i was there as you can see in this, the actual selfie i took last night. cheers and applause . Theres jimmy, theres jimmy. There he is. Thanking g
As the president and Vice President take up the first lady on her call to get moving. And here comes oscar. Preparations under way in hollywood with the 86th Academy Awards just two days away. The race to the top prize is open today, february 28th, 2014. Announcer from nbc news, this is today. With matt lauer and savannah guthrie, live from studio 1a in rockefeller plaza. And good morning, everyone. Welcome to today on a friday morning. Friday here. Carsons in for matt this morning. I hope that all those stars in hollywood are waterproof. Take a look at the dolby theatre right now where the oscars will be. Its all wrapped up in plastic. And if youre in charge of the oscars, youre thinking, weve had no rain in the state of california, and sure enough on the big night, is it going to rain . Yeah, it will rain, but the big question is will it get out of here in time for the oscars . Theres a good chance it may not. By the way, the rough weather out west is todays top story. The rain is, o