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The scary part is what if he's right i am useless? what if he's right nobody will love me? what if he's right and he is a seer and -- >> and does have an avenging angel who will come get you. >> and that's scarier than staying. >> and you believed that -- that might happen. >> i did. and i know i physically could've now. but i never once thought about leaving. i thought about killing myself, but i didn't think about leaving. >> how do you ever get over that? >> you don't. i have ptsd. >> i'm not at all surprised. >> reporter: ron goodwyn, aghast at what he was hearing, believed he had been tol...