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whoo! thank you so much. hello. hello, thank you. thank you so much. please, please take your seats. please, please sit down. [ laughter ] wow, you sat down fast. [ laughter ] ladies andladies and gentlemen,f course, stephen colbert. if you don't know who that is, congratulations on waking up from your eight-year coma. [ laughter ] let me get you up to speed for some of the things you might have missed. first of all the economy is terrible. la of laugh all human thought has now been limited to 140 characters. [ laughter ] and most importantly nevil longbottom now looks like this. [ch...

( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen >> congressional scrutiny over his get-away with ["the colbert report" theme music playing] captioning sponsored by comedy central [eagle caw] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: whoo! whoo! thank you so much. hello. hello, thank you. thank you so much. please, please take your seats. please, please sit down. [ laughter ] wow, you sat down fast. [ laughter ] ladies andladies and gentlemen,f course, stephen colbert. if you don't know who that is, congratulations on waking up from your eight-year coma. [ laugh...