Drunk Jamie News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

Remember the story about paris hilton, i don't know if it's true, didn't she like lose one of her chihuahuas in a closet? >> jamie: and then it died or something. >> greg: yeah, i don't know if this was real. so don't sue me paris hilton, at least not again. anyway, up next, the sim suit won't win a competition, but it will beat facial recognition. [cheers and applause] ♪ if it hurts when you poop sometimes like pinching off ♪ ♪ a porcupine and you're sweatin' your ♪ ♪ next trip to the loo ♪ ♪ colace is the brand you need ♪ ♪ to soften stools we're all agreed ♪ ♪ #2 shoul...

Way. [laughter] >> jamie: i love the professor's video i always thought the dog -- i always was like i wish there were more germs at a water park. this is my video, i'm super excited about this. it happened in alaska. i made that up, i forgot to look at where it happened. dude, what we're seeing is a video, i think we'd all agree this is the worst hunter in the world. do you know what i'm saying? like if you go hunting and you're sitting up in a tree and all of a sudden you're tapped on the shoulder from behind by the thing you are hunting. this bare crept up behind him and tapped him -- the o...

Of shorts and that was it. sometimes you weren't even sure what you were swimming in you just ran out and did it. now look at that. that's 45 minutes to get dressed to go swimming. she's got gloves on. she's got zipper body armour on, long pants and a ski mask. what is the point of getting wet? >> greg: yeah, it's crazy. jamie, don't we all wear masks? >> jamie: wow, that was really deep. to tell you the truth, if i went to the beach like i wouldn't even notice these. i don't even look at women's faces at the beach. [laughter] >> jamie: is it possible that these face masks will go out of busin...

Knows you live in alaska. do you follow what goes on in america? >> jamie: yes. as soon as i get here. oh, my god, i'm sorry. this just coming in, turns out the president misspoke. he did not cure cancer, he got rid of a caverninger soar. he's very sorry. i thought it was funny the thing did you about dr. jill biden. that's really true. in a movie theater people should be more specific, they shouldn't say is there a doctor in the house, is there a doctor that can help in the house. because what if you say is there a doctor, and he says i'm a foot doctor, and i'll massage your feet while you di...