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I hate negotiations, which is why I was really smart when choosing freelance writing as a career. Why do I hate the art of the deal? Because I’m convinced most people who partake in it are bloodthirsty, narcissistic sycophants who will use every dirty trick in the book to screw you over. Even when they’re fine people in other situations! Even when they appear to be genuine and transparent! Even when the terms they offer seem fair, but how the hell would I know what fair is given that I’m part of the lowest-paid demographic in this country? I haven’t trusted anyone in a negotiation since 1989, when my sister convinced me that using my mom’s expensive lipstick to paint my ENTIRE FACE would be fun. It was fun. It also got us into some deep shit. ....

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