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Sam, you are a professional comedian. how would you rate that performance? >> a 10. i think it was incredible. the best since flava-flave. >> he should have had a giant ipad around his neck. >> that's a great idea. i think he needed more accessories. >> why was he not wearing google glass? >> i live the incorporation of jargon. you have to include jargon. # fail. >> this talk put me over the moon. this is like the wonder bread of rap. i thought it was a catchy tune. i was sitting here bouncing to it. >> the poor girl. she is feeling it in her soul, andy. has anything funny ever happened in a c...

We were all hype men. twerk was a combination of twist and jerk. i am honored to be part of the humble origins that is now in the oxford dictionary. >> twist and jerk means something different for me. >> i bet it did. what does the addition of selfie into the:00 ford dictionary say about america? >> we are in the tradition of nare saw cysts and i think that is okay. >> are you calling me a nare is you cyst? a nare -- narcicist? >> i have selfies with jesse jackson and flava-flave. >> to me selfies are the straight up narsacisstic you over and over again. >> it is an alone picture. i hate selfi...

Are you saying that all it takes is alcohol to make you satisfied, thomas? >> a couple of drinks and i feel happy and satisfied. there is usually some free munchable items on the bar, and so i can, you know -- >> you are one of those dudes who gets drunk and takes his shirt off and runs outside with no shirt on? >> yes. experience life. >> i respect that. >> i remembered from estari -- estair being shirtless. >> that was a different dance in the rain. let's stay with tom right there. you are talking about what celebrities you want to live next to. even if it is a good celebrity or bad celebrit...

would you do the same thing? >> jesse james, no holds barred for the hour. this is a primetime exclusive. >> you thought i was going to hit you. >> jesse james puts it all out there. his life is an open book. he has a book titled "american outlaw." jesse, we met once on "celebrity apprentice." >> you thought i was going to hit you. >> i did, actually. it was the one time during my recent television career that this was not going to end happily. you kept staring at me with this kind of death stare. >> no. i'm a pussy cat. >> the second time we met was i suppose a slightly more surreal...

if you had your time again, would you do the same thing? jesse james, no holds barred for the hour. this is "piers morgan tonight" prime time exclusive. >> you thought i was going to hit you. love him or hate him, jesse james puts it out there saying his life is an open book and that's exactly what has become in this book entitled "american outlaw." jesse joins me now. jesse, we've met twice. once was on "celebrity apprentice" when i gave you a grilling. not getting money off your then-wife sandra. >> you thought i was going to hit you. >> i did actually. it's the one time in my re...