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Now, if i do win a second term as president let me just say something to all of the -- [ applause ] >> let me just say something to all my conspiracy oriented friends on the right who think i'm planning to unleash some secret agenda, you're absolutely right. allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second obama administration. in my first term i sang al green, in my second term i'm going with young jeezy. michelle said, yeah. i sing that to her sometimes. in my first term we ended the war in iraq.

Chucked to. love your brother. deleted to see some of the cast members of "glee" are here. and jimmy kimmel. it's an honor, man. what's so funny? ihat's so [ applause ] now, this year we gather in the

Since then, congress and i have certainly had our differences. i tried to be civil. to not take any cheap shots and at is why i want to especially thank all of the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight. let's give them a round of applause. [ applause ] despite many obstacles much has changed during my time in office. four years ago i was locked in a brutal primary battle with hillary clinton. four years later she won't stop drunk texting me from cartahena. [ laughter ]

As president let me just say something to all of the -- [ applause ] >> let me just say something to all my conspiracy oriented friends on the right who think i'm planning to unleash some secret agenda, you're absolutely right. allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second obama administration. in my first term i sang al green, in my second term i'm going with young jeezy. michelle said, yeah. i sing that to her sometimes. in my first term we ended the war in iraq.

In my second term i will win the war on christmas. in my first term we repealed the policy known as don't ask don't tell. -- [ applause ] >> wait, though. in my second term we will replace it with a policy known as it's raining men. in my first term we passed healthcare reform. in my second term i guess i'll pass it again. >> i do -- i do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note. whoever takes the oath of office next january will face