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I was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> were you panicked when people walk up to you and try to talk to you? >> not anymore. no, i kind of -- i got over that. but i couldn't leave the ...

I thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> were you panicked when people walk up to you and try to talk to you? >> not anymore. no, i kind of -- i got over that. but i couldn't leave the house. >> couldn't leave the house? >> i couldn't leave the house, no. ...

Relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> were you panicked when people walk up to you and try to talk to you? >> not anymore.

Relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> were you panicked when people walk up to you and try to talk to ...

Dad had to wipe my ass for me. i couldn't do anything by myself. i felt useless. i felt like my manhood was gone. i couldn't have any kind of a relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm st...