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BBCNEWS HARDtalk July 7, 2024

ukraine and near the southern city of kherson. the city of lyman has been recaptured 2a hours after the russian president announced the annexation of four partially occupied regions. now on bbc news, hardtalk. welcome to hardtalk. i m stephen sackur. britain mourned the death of queen elizabeth in ways that combined the intimate and the personal with the grand and ceremonial. for most of us, of course, death and grief remain a very private affair. an irreversible, life altering shock when we lose someone close for which there is no guide or preparation. my guest today is the one time pop star turned church of england vicar, the reverend richard coles, whose frank account of his own grief has struck a chord with many. why did grief nearly break him? richard coles, welcome to hardtalk. britain has just lived through a rather extraordinary, the mourning that came with it. and many people have said that the death of the queen revived very sharp memories for them of their ow ....

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BBCNEWS HARDtalk July 7, 2024

time pop star turned church of england vicar, the reverend richard coles, whose frank account of his own grief has struck a chord with many. why did grief nearly break him? richard coles, welcome to hardtalk. britain has just lived through a rather extraordinary, momentous experience, the death of queen elizabeth, the mourning that came with it. and many people have said that the death of the queen revived very sharp memories for them of their own losses and how they felt during their own losses. you ve just written a book about grief. is that true of you, too? oh, yes, very much so. i think the queen had a representative life as well as a sort of constitutional life and a personal life. and her loss is a loss we all experience. people say, oh, but you didn t know her, but of course, we all did know her from banknotes, from stamps, from simplyjust being there, the christmas message. and that absence affects all of us. and any absence will elicit in you your own experien ....

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BBCNEWS HARDtalk June 4, 2024 00:38:00

Was an alcoholic. and that was very much related to the health problems that led to his death at a3. and you describe how once he died, you felt terrible, that you at times had not been understanding about his illness. yeah, i mean, anyone who s lived with an addict will know what that s like, i think. and at first, when his addiction began to shape our life very dramatically, all i could think of is, why are you doing this? why are you raising that glass to your lips? you don t have to do that. and when you do that, you destroy yourself and me and everything that s good in our lives. you were angry? furious. yeah, absolutely. the other thing about it is that alcohol produces unreason. and if you re trying to work out how you re going to solve a problem, if the person you re trying to negotiate with is incapable of negotiation because they re not, they re not reasonable, that for me is a sort of kafkaesque scenario. awful. and i was so angry with david ....

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BBCNEWS HARDtalk June 4, 2024 04:39:00

Of kafkaesque scenario. awful. and i was so angry with david until i stopped being angry. just understood that he was in the grip of something that he could not control. and once i stopped being angry with him, our lives got a lot better, actually. but that guilt, is it still with you? i mean, you describe one particular incident, i think perhaps just days before he actually went into the hospital for the final time, where he d done something you thought was so ridiculous, so impossible to deal with, so wrong that you yelled, you lost your temper completely. yes, i became a screaming thing, and it was almost an out of body experience. but, of course, it was frustration because i think, like anyone who s, if you re married to an addict, you know that the end is in sight. so, i was terrified about that, of course, and occasionally would. the other thing is i ve tried, you have to be the one who keeps things together, and also i was the vicar. so myjob is to be unflappable, to get people ....

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BBCNEWS HARDtalk June 4, 2024 03:38:00

He, as you say and describe in very painful detail, was an alcoholic. and that was very much related to the health problems that led to his death at a3. and you describe how once he died, you felt terrible, that you at times had not been understanding about his illness. yeah. i mean, anyone who s lived with an addict will know what that s like, i think. and at first, when his addiction began to shape our life very dramatically, all i could think of is, why are you doing this? why are you raising that glass to your lips? you don t have to do that. and when you do that, you destroy yourself and me and everything that s good in our lives. you were angry? furious. yeah, absolutely. the other thing about it is that alcohol produces unreason. and if you re trying to work out how you re going to solve a problem, if the person you re trying to negotiate with is incapable of negotiation because they re not, they re not reasonable, that for me is a sort of kafkaesque scenario. awful. ....

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