Nick Dapaula News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

Time line, people. and i know you all made fun of the cowboy poetry festival, and i bet i can change your mind. they have open mic night. >> really? >> been there, done that. >> it is a guy named mike who is at one with his feelings. go on, mike. and i don't know if he is a real cowboy. >> he just wears the chaps. >> yeah, you are a little too open on those nights, mike. if that's your real name. >> not a lot of high schools want obama to speak at commencement. did you say the schools are afraid the soda machines will be replaced with breast milk pumps? >> yes, i did. >> i i just wanted to dou...

It is before we could destroy. >> charlie sheen -- greg, you mentioned when sheen was asked about how he felt about being fired he said "free at last, free at last." i believe this is what dr. kick referred to when he looked forward to the day people were not judged by the sallen of their skin, but drug in the blood stream. and you refered to it as charlie's korner and it is sheen's korner. >> duh. with a k. >> troll. jill, the troll guild will be waiting under a bridge for you after the show. >> all right, all right, i will take the lincoln tunnel home. >> you have the riddles ready. >> and y...

>> indeed that is a live shot. jill, you are the world's leading entertainment reporter and a heroin addict. what is your take on all of this? >> i agreed with him and was on his side until he said phones were built by trolls. if you have seen my mu blackberry, a troll couldn't build that with his big old hands. maybe a dexterous leprechaun, but not a troll. get your facts straight, charlie. >> trolls can do anything they set their minds on. >> they don't have anymore bell fingers. >> i have enough problems with the feminists. nick, his work you have seen it. a vast improvement over his earlie...

They have glands that released toxins they take into their mouth when they bite you. >> oh my god. >> they are one of the animals that finds a place in your apartment where they drop their feces and can never get out. >> that's not it. it is more of the toxins from the biting and they are an endangered species. >> i thought it was having to do with the weird thing of dropping your feces. >> every time i see aloris, i think of gary olman of "dracula." >> you know what else will be an endangered species soon? cowboy poets. >> fair point. and nick asked if anyone knew a cowboy who could rhyme. ro...

>> do you think my girlfriend can't mess things up, you haven't gone to a tibo class. >> i don't think nick understands. >> make your choice. >> why do we have to choose? >> it is like the dating game. >> somebody lost some body parts. >> and here they are. >> jill is missing an ear too. >> andy? >> yeah, greg. >> what are you dismog. >> waiting for you to tell me to go away. >> go away. >> that was easy. coming up, ryan secrist is dead -- set against answering phone calls. it is like he is answering him for money. what is new with lyndsay lohan? whatever it is, let's hope she paid for it.