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Communicate with them and the first thing i asked is, pat, you know, patrick. and they said he didn't make it. >> what kind of person was patrick? >> he was just like a ball of light. amazing musician. absolute pacifist. you know, just a very kind of spiritual person, you know? the world lost a very special person that day. that's my first experience with death, and it was rough. when i came out of the hospital, i was angry. it kept me up at night. you know, i would play it over and over in my head. the fact that i was robbed but not only robbed but robbed by friends, hurt. it was an awful fee...

You know. eventually, i robbed a bank to support that habit and ended up in federal prison. and i don't blame you entirely, but that was a pivotal moment for sure. i mean, i was a pot dealer before that, and that was part of my crime. you know, i had two marijuana priors, but, god, it sent me in a horrible direction. not only did it impact me and, of course, pat, who's no longer here, our families, your family, josh's family. >> did you carry some guilt over patrick's -- >> oh, yeah. yeah. so i don't know if you realize, but pat -- the only reason he was on my couch was because we drank that n...

Do and psychosis. the anger. you know that beast. >> what it did, it unlocked all of my damage, bro. i was in a psychotic state and i did something that i can't take back because it was my choice to use and, therefore, it was my choice -- >> sure. >> all of those choices are ours all the time, you know, so -- >> you had never met pat beyond that night, right? >> no. >> do you remember his image at all? do you remember what he looked like? >> i do. being a visual person, i do remember -- >> yeah, he was a hippie at heart. he was an amazing musician, a guy who shined with life. he really was. he...