Dear Mr. Mac, My name is Chad Benefield and I am a morning show host on The Country Station, 92.5 WBKR in Owensboro, Kentucky. I am writing to you today on behalf of my listening audience and my co-host Angel, who's a really annoying, but incredibly fertile vegetarian, whose pelvis could supply you with endless customers. It is my fervent belief that, though you are essentially a New England-based company, that we, the perpetually hungry residents of Owensboro-Daviess County, would nestle you deep into our bosoms. We'd be happy to slip on a bib and slobber all up on you. See, we love rest...