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Usually we Lard Lakers feel a little sadness at the passing of another year, not so this one! The biggest news of the year was the defeat of perennial Lard Lake Mayor, Big Ernie, by newcomer Kathleen “Kat” Schmitt. Kat Schmitt, owner of “Kat’s Litterbox,” an upscale second hand store is a retired “community organizer” from the swanky St. Paul suburb of “Dellwood Hills.” Running under the flag of the “Bindle Stiff” Party and led by her campaign manager, husband Doug also known as “Doogie the Dog,” himself a former “bag manâ...

Including definitely stuff you didn't remember like, you know, some judge in 1873 who had impeachment proceedings brought against him because, quote, his personal habits unfitted him for the judicial office in that he was intoxicated both off the bench as well as on the bench. ah, yes, the famous drunk judge case of 1873. how can we forget? or there's the secretary of war case from 1876 where the secretary of war at the time was accused of, quote, basically prostituting his high office to his lust for private gain. see how they balanced prostituting and lust there? pretty good, right? essentia...

Was intoxicated both off the bench as well as on the bench. ah, yes, the famous drunk judge case of 1873. how can we forget? or there's the secretary of war case from 1876 where the secretary of war at the time was accused of, quote, basically prostituting his high office to his lust for private gain. see how they balanced prostituting and lust there? pretty good, right? essentially that purple prose was about him taking bribes to give people at various jobs. the report notes that the secretary of war in 1876 though charged with these things and in the end seems to have escaped impeachment mos...

Multiple-choice. was it c, a pet peacock? >> i don't really have to answer this because he buzzed early. but i will. we are going to go with a portable toilet, tucker, b. >> tucker: i think it was a pet peacock prayed for the tape will reveal the truth. what was it? >> north korean leader kim jong un brought his own toilet to singapore for her so much with president trump. to present intelligence agencies from using the sewer to get information on his health. the intelligence agencies were just going to go ahead and guess bad then? >> pretty good [laughter] >> tucker: disgusting. good memory. ...

Japanese forces but you're advancing fleet on the high seas shielding our nation from dangerous weapons and preserving the peace that generations of valley and warriors gave their lives to secure. one of those intrepid americans was private first class john schaefer. born and raised in tower city pennsylvania, private schaefer was a member of a group of u.s. army special forces who fought in the pacific during world war ii under the legendary command of general frank merrill. good general. good general? pretty good, right? that's what they say. are you better? just be as good. although private...