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I'm there with my family. i'm able to open up with my family and then this kind of stuff happens where i just can't -- it makes me think about all of the people who don't any sort of answer for the kind of things that they're having to go through. i mean, if i -- if i were different, this could be so much worse. >> what happened to your hand? your right hand? >> oh, these are -- i'm taking self defense classes right now. >> self defense classes? >> i mean -- >> so they're like punch callouss? what's that about? >> if i learn -- i learned when i was in prison that in a bad

I mean, if i -- if i were different, this could be so much worse. >> what happened to your hand? your right hand? >> oh, these are -- i'm taking self defense classes right now. >> self defense classes? >> i mean -- >> so they're like punch callouss? what's that about? >> if i learn -- i learned when i was in prison that in a bad situation, i turn into a deer in the head lightings. i just -- i can't move. i can't breathe. and there were -- i mean, i've received death threats since i've been home. and i don't ever want to be caught in a situation that meredith was caught in where someone is able...