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To a point where people are starting to understand. but still being transgender is such a misunderstood thing. it's difficult for even us to explain it. i think that's why my book "warrior princess" talks about that anguish and how far it goes back. >> as a teenager, did you -- did those feelings continue? >> yes. it's like when i'm sitting with a bunch of guys and we're just hanging out and they see a girl walking in the mall and she's walking by and they're all whistling and saying wow, she looks awesome. and i'm going yeah, she's awesome. but i'm looking at her -- she looks awesome because ...

I want to wear her shoes and it's like, i wish i could be her. so every thought i have is not what i would say the quote man would think, but i'm still stuck in that body for so long. so i started being able to disguise it. and just being like, okay, well if i say something like, if she has cool earrings and i'm sitting there with a bunch of guys in the mall, i get beat up. so it was something you had to suppress and i got very good at bottling it up. >> that's got to be incredibly difficult and painful. >> yes. you grow up with it for so long, and you just get so used to living through that d...

So every thought i have is not what i would say the quote man would think, but i'm still stuck in that body for so long. so i started being able to disguise it. if i say something like, if she has cool earrings and i'm sitting there with a bunch of guys and i get beat up. so it was something you had to suppress and i got very good at bottling it up. >> that's got to be incredibly difficult and painful. >> yes. you grow up with it for so long, and you just get so used to living through that despair. it's an anguish you keep holding inside you. i know it's a similar story we all have, that you h...

Starting to understand. but still being transgender is such a misunderstood thing. it's difficult for even us to explain it. i think that's why my book "warrior princess" talks about that anguish and how far it goes back. >> as a teenager, did you -- did those feelings continue? >> yes. it's like when i'm sitting with a bunch of guys and we're just hanging out and they see a girl walking in the mall and she's walking by and they're all whistling and saying wow, she looks awesome. and i'm going yeah, she's awesome. but i'm looking at her hair or makeup or how she looks. i want to wear her shoes...

Something you felt? >> definitely. >> did you know -- could you -- >> i didn't know what it was. i didn't even know -- what do you say, cross dresser, transsexual transsexual? it's so misunderstood. i think out of the entire community, the lbgt community that is so open and so misunderstood and we're growing to a point where people are starting to understand. but still being transgender is such a misunderstood thing. it's difficult for even us to explain it. i think that's why my book "warrior princess" talks about that anguish and how far it goes back. >> as a teenager, did you -- did those f...