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You know, my father was a radio engineer who eventually got into being a recording engineer and had a recording studio. >> with like three other people. >> yeah, with four other people and so my father, with reverence, he would see a guy behind a microphone, i saw my father he'd treat them so nicely and what can i get you and he's completely involved with them. well, for a boy who was looking for involvement with his father i said to myself at an early age well, what else would i be? >> i heard you say something -- which made me incredibly sad which was you saw your father looking -- you saw y...

>> never. >> everything is based on that. you know, they say the first two years of your life as a kid are the most important because that's how things are formed. but -- sexuality, everything, it all comes from childhood, all patterns we're playing over and over and it seems in your case, particularly true. >> and not only that, i knew as a father, if i'm playing the same patterns over, well then i'm not doing a service to my children. i'm doing a great disservice if i'm not fully in the moment and i'm not really understanding what it is i'm trying to present as a father. >> the fact to me th...

Show, robin and fred and gary. all the people i work with. i said to myself, why am i doing this anymore? it makes me crazy. i hate getting up early in the morning. and i don't particularly like doing the show. i am driven by a neurotic compulsion to do that show. and it doesn't seem enjoyable. i go home every night and say, i didn't get it right, i didn't do it right, i did a horrible job, the show was horrible. >> how much of that comes from that early experience with your parents? i read about you watching your father praising people that he really respected and you craving that praise. and...

That early experience with your parents? i read about you watching your father praising people that he really respected and you craving that praise. and you've touched on that. there was a key part of your early life was this need to please your parents. do you still feel that -- do they listen to the show? >> my parents listen every day. i don't think my father listened to me growing up. when i say listened to me, i don't think we had a relationship where he sat and he said, how are you doing son, what is happening? the thing i used to see my father doing when we were driving into the city --...

Craving that praise. and you've touched on that. there was a key part of your early life was this need to please your parents. do you still feel that -- do they listen to the show? >> my parents listen every day. i don't think my father listened to me growing up. i don't think we had a relationship where he said, how are you doing, son? what is happening? the thing i used to see my father doing when we were driving into the city, my father was a radio engineer. and he would turn on that radio and held s shush me. >> how often does he say to you, great show, howard? >> rarely. he said to me som...