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thateverybody shirt. it's friday, so you know what that means. . >> let's welcome tonight's guests like a genie. she can also fit in a bottle. co-host of america's newsroom in the five, dana perino. ino. hide him from your wives, kil because they'll probably kill themselves. comedianl joe, he's my third favorite, lou. after breakout and. comedian author of that joke isn't funny anymore. read and she does her best lifting at the gym where she steals purses in the locker room. "new york times" best selling author. right. som yeah. okay. before we get to some nenewsw l. do this. greg's ...

only in america today could people who are richer, more pampered and more celebrated than you are claim to be victims of the rest of us. but like sharing a bucket of sardines with joy behar, there's only so much victimhood to go around. and so they're going to greater and greater lengths to extract new sources of whining, mining for whining and this gold rush is currently being led by megan rapinoe mostly famous for damaging brands she endorses and much less for playing women's soccer and her happily endorsed biological men playing women's sports of course now that she no longer play...

of nikki haley. haley's biggest rival, former president trump, wasn't on the ballot. this contest doesn't really count because the delegates will be awarded based on caucus results. that contest will not be held until thursday. haley won't be on the ballot then, but gop frontrunner trump is. if he wins, he stands to collect up to 26 delegates. nevada gop rules prevented candidates from participating in both contests, but eligible voters can vote in both. nikki haley's campaign isn't happy about the situation, saying that's why they didn't devote resources is in the silver state. >> b...

hemmer. welcome to the program today. >> dana: this is "america's newsroom," i'm dana perino. a liberal commentator who said what a year this day has been. it felt like it. it started yesterday. special counsel robert hur released his report on the president's mishandling of documents. charges weren't warranted but the defense of that decision ignited a firestorm. >> bill: here is part of what set it off. it reads we have also considered that a trial mr. biden would likely present himself to a jury as he did during our interview of him as a sympathetic, well meaning elderly man with ...

♪ [applause] >> greg: all right. [cheers] >> greg: happy thursday, everybody, sometimes the universe remind you that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. like jesse watters getting the 8:00 p.m. hour after being diagnosed with micropenis. >> can we really say that? >> greg: yes. here's another example. the wildly popular comedian named shane gillis. if you've never heard of him tonight is the case. >> tonight the leader of isis is killed. trump goes -- is dead. he died like a dog. in front of the whole world. abu, we could hear him crying, abu, don't cry. let m...