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Friend. a friend named keith richards. what a great show, joining us, candace owens. candace has more haters on the left than personal hygiene. that says something. if she were any smarter and beautiful, she would be me. oh, look who has joined us, the charming pete hegseth. you no, he smiles and now the whole front row is pregnant. this guy has more than the cards for kids commercial. gives the ladies more hot flashes and menopause. like a hershey bar left in the hot car, when pete is on tv, the women just up there and melt.

I love you guys. i love a big crowd with uncovered faces. good to see you. we are in a moment of extreme caution in this country. that's not the way we grew a pair we thought we were safe. we probably weren't. remember those rides in the family car? in the backseat, no seat belts. seat belts highly optional in the 1970s. dad took a right and you would slide over to the left. take a left, slide back. it worked. it worked. we were less safe, less sensitive in the 70s. if you wanted to know about the sensitivity level of the 1970s, look at the advertising. look at the commercials. we have the fri...

3.5 equals zero. they are so cringeworthy because you want to laugh but the people saying them are actually serious. her >> pete: exactly. it's like cows farting are going to end like the planet, not the islamists are the marxists. any other examples. the left is so damn serious but it looks like a joke. that's why it's so cringe eat for everyone. it's like aoc is a serious thinker. >> greg: why do cows fart so much? because they are lactose intolerant. they make it. it's right there. if you can reach it. something i learned in grade school. candace, we celebrated three cringeworthy topics. th...

Faster than hunter's septum. i care about his health. by the way, when this poll says key issues, they are talking about how long it takes joe to find his keys every morning. but when it comes to polling, he is more underwater than a ted kennedy date. oh, you feel bad about that? don't kill anybody then. oh, we'll find it someone who left oh girl died. my apologies. we offended someone who let a girl die. the numbers are like joe's teeth in a glass next to his bed, floating at the bottom and he makes it worse by making crap up that's hysterical. colbert should hire him as a writer. the $3.5 tr...

This country has to offer. my first baseball game, boring. my first election, exciting. hey, i was young. my first kkk cross burning, exhilarating. but that last one is partially why i'm about to buy my first gun. now the hard part. which gun is the gun for me? >> how are you doing. >> hi. >> what can i help you with? >> yeah, i'm looking to buy a gun, i guess. >> cool. >> it's for i guess what's called home defense. >> okay. >> like the honda crv of guns, you know, a good family-size gun. >> right in front of us we've got a cz-75 b compact. >> okay. >> so, if that magazine had rounds in it yo...