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captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palin's new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, it's only day four and she's already managed to do the unthinkable, spend four days on a bus without looking like she spent four days on a bus. ...

>> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palin's new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, it's only day four and she's already managed to do the unthinkable, spend four days on a bus without looking like she spent four days on a bus. here's what i look like after 15 minutes on the cross town. [laughter] of course -- [laughter and applause] what do i feel ...

>> jon: that's our show. tomorrow night at 11:00, tim tebow of the denver broncoings is going to be here. here it is, your moment of zen. >> a lot of people are asking why aim using plastic forks and fives that the pizza parlor gave. frankly, it was very comfortable, plus this way you can dig the top of the pizza off, you're not justcaptioning y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh ready to go. >> stephen: tonighti congressman anthon weiner tweet lewd pictures of his fourth branch of government? [laughter] then who's riding my coattails now? i hope it's a monkey. th...

[audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palin's new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, it's only day four and she's already managed to do the unthinkable, spend four days on a bus without looking like she spent four days on a bus. here's what i look like after 15 minutes on the cross town. [laughter] ...

and my guest, robert fm kennedy, jr., is in a new comery about mountaintop mining. he's making a mountain out of a molehill that used to be a mountain. i got rid of my beard, and let's just say the lack of carpet matches the lack of drapes. this is the "the colbert report" captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night...