Page 12 - Stand Ups News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

24 american people without getting the congressional budget office to score. you can look at every one of those republican leaders that were in donald trump's background shot, serving as his standup that basically his stand ups for a prop. and every single one of those men -- i just say men because -- >> there's a woman there, but she has her head down, smartly. she actually has a brain. she knows this is bad. >> ducking her head. every one of those men standing by, if you're a conservative, you need to get a congressional budget office score. you need to know how much a bill costs. you need t...

>> paul: absolutely. it's your first time getting paid as a performer, and it's also the largest amount of people i've performed for was on a cruise ship. it's 950 people you're performing to, you know, four nights a week. >> anthony: right. >> bearded man: places, act 1. >> woman: how are things? >> guy: ah, good. should i put the game on? the patriots are playing the red skins. >> paul: do we know where the dry cleaning is? there's no job that you can liken to this job. >> woman: what are you trying to say, mike, we're some sort of time travelers? >> man: my hemp business is doing really wel...

And knock the [ bleep ] out of your mouth, which i think is appropriate and funny. >> listen, i don't have time to tell you all the things that are the matter with you. but let's start with that checkered bell bottomed suit. >> you had to learn to deal with it if you wanted to make it in the clubs. and the best ones did. >> hi, pigs. >> i don't know how to say this, but i want to be on you. >> i dated my last boyfriend for two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me your name or it's over. >> this is my long, luxurious blond hair. ain't it pretty? >> yes. >>...

But let's start with that checkered bell bottomed suit. >> you had to learn to deal with it if you wanted to make it in the clubs. and the best ones did. >> hi, pigs. >> i don't know how to say this, but i want to be on you. >> i dated my last boyfriend for two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me your name or it's over. >> this is my long, luxurious blond hair. ain't it pretty? >> yes. >> i could put it in a ponytail, you want tsee? >> yeah. >> no. >> whoopi goldberg always thought of herself as an actress more so than a comedian. she was very much in th...

Checkered bell bottomed suit. >> you had to learn to deal with it if you wanted to make it in the clubs. and the best ones did. >> hi, pigs. >> i don't know how to say this, but i want to be on you. >> i dated my last boyfriend for two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me your name or it's over. >> this is my long, luxurious blond hair. ain't it pretty? >> yes. >> i could put it in a ponytail, you want to see? >> yeah. >> no. >> whoopi goldberg always thought of herself as an actress more so than a comedian. she was very much in the spirit of lily tomlin,...