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>> what would you have taken on that particular bender? >> well, i hadn't done any for a while, like seven hours, but i had this hernia thing that was popping out. and it might caught a piece of the bowel. it sounds gross and the pain was as though someone was driving a hot saber through my gut. and because i won't take a pain pill because those things are like, wow -- actually i would, you know -- i already have pain, i need an anti-pain pill. so i won't take those. so i maybe hit the vodka a little too hard to reduce the pain. and then just kind of was that final push, that final drop down t...

>> what would you have taken on that particular bender? >> well, i hadn't done any for a while, like seven hours, but i had this hernia thing that was popping out. and it might caught a piece of the bowel. it sounds gross but that's how the doctor described it. the pain was, as someone described it, was like driving a hot saber through my gut. and because i won't take a pain pill because those things are like, wow -- actually i would, you know -- i already have pain, i need an anti-pain pill. so i won't take those. so i maybe hit the vodka a little too hard to reduce the pain. and then just ki...

It sounds gross. but that's how a doctor described it. and the pain was as though someone was driving a hot saber through my gut. and because i won't take a pain pill because those things are like, wow -- actually i would, you know -- i already have pain. i need an anti-pain pill. so, i won't take those. so, i maybe hit the vodka a little too hard to reduce the pain. and then just kind of was that final push. that final drop down the falls. and then i guess i -- somebody decided to call 911. they took care of that thing perfectly. it was the other voices that we hear on the tapes. kind of got ...

You know -- i already have pain, i need an anti-pain pill. so i won't take those. so i maybe hit the vodka a little too hard to reduce the pain. and then just kind of was that final push, that final drop down the falls. and then i guess i -- somebody decided to call 911. and actually stephanie. they took care of that thing perfectly. it was the other voices that we hear on the tapes. kind of got things confused. >> where do you wake up after these benders? let's assume for argument's sake, there won't be anymore. you've decided you're going to stop. >> yeah. >> with your kids in particular. a ...