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>> yeah, having to sit through chemotherapy, for example, is almost a zen experience of bo boredom. you're watching poison going into your arm. people say you should be struggling, battling cancer. you're not battling. you couldn't be living a more passive moment than that. you feel as if you're drowning in powerlessness. >> in a moment of doubt, isn't there -- i don't know. i find it fascinating that even when you're alone and no one else is watching, that there might be a moment where you, you know, want to hedge your bets. >> if that comes, it will be when i'm very ill. when i'm half dement...

>> in terms of what lies ahead, how is -- i want to read something else, actually, that you wrote in -- we sort of talked about a little bit. i thought it was a really great sentence. you said i had been in denial for some time, burning the cardinal at both ends and fining it often gives a lovely light but for that reason, i can't hear myself whining about how it's all so unfair. i've been taunting the reaper at taking a free swithe in my direction.boring in a way? >> yes, if that will kill me. >> the mundane? >> yeah, having to sit through chemotherapy, for example, is almost a zen experience...

You wrote in -- we sort of talked about a little bit. i thought it was a really great sentence. you said i had been in denial for some time, burning the candle at both ends and finding that it often gives a lovely light. but for precisely that reason, i can't see myself smithing my brow or hear myself whining about how it's all so unfair. i've been taunting the reaper at taking a free swithe in my direction. rage would be beyond the point for the same reason. you find this boring in a way? >> yes, if that will kill me. >> the mundane? >> yeah, having to sit through chemotherapy, for example, i...