Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon hi, everybody welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart my guest tonight one of our alltime favorites, sarah vowell will be joining us tonight. Were so excited about that. cheers and applause you know what . This is the last show before we go on a break a coupleweek break. Then when we get back, basically its a threeweek run to the finale. Obviously, ive got a lot of mixed emotions about this, but i want to talk about one person whos been there for me, really throughout this whole run but especially near the end of the run. His name is donald. laughter and. cheers and applause good man. And donald recently glided back into my life on his solid gold up and down people mover, cranked up the unauthorized millian, opened up his crazy hole and made a promise to me that i would never be without material again laughter when mexico sends its people, theyre not sending their best. Theyre sending people that have lots of problems, and theyre bringing those problems with us. Theyre bringing drugs. Theyre bringing crime. Theyre rapists. And some, i assume, are good people. laughter jon thats our donald trump reminding america that as many as a handful of people laughter coming across our southern border are not rapists laughter he assumes. Hes sure about the rapist part. laughter but feels that, i guess by pure law of averages, there are probably some nonrapists caught up in that tide, whether theyre unable to rape for medical reasons or laughter or whether they are just all raped out laughter as you can imagine, this statement from a republican president ial candidate laughter was noticed. Nbc announced plans to cut all business ties to donald trump. Univision is dropping all ties with donald trump. At Serta Mattress Company to the list. Ricky martin is yanking his Golf Tournament off trump properties. Jon i am shocked i am shocked that so many people were okay going doing business with donald trump up to this point laughter but you know our p. C. Culture immediately moves to shut controversial speakers up and censor them by interviewing them everywhere all the time. But i want to know whether or not you would stick by these comments. Do you regret you didnt have a script . Do you want to apologize for anything . Would you take any of that back . Dodo you regret saying that specifically about rapist or do you stand by it . And before you answer remember my question included the words regret, rapist and you laughter which, in the news business, is called a hint now, obviously mr. Trump was speaking extemporaneously. Did donald take this opportunity to walk back his comments, to express regret over misrepresenting the situation of saying something inelegantly . Of course not. And you know why hes not walking them back . Because walking is for losers. laughter winners glide. Usually down escalators, into malls. Of of course, theyre criminals in many cases. Why would i change that statement . Some are good, rapist im talking about all over the world, theyre coming through southern bored. Im not knocking anybody. If i were doing mexico, would be senting the killers drug dealers, rapists jon and the possibilities of a possible trump presidency, i would put all my countrys rapists and criminals on a bus and send them to the next country to the north. Chomp on that, canada. laughter now, i know its a fools errand to try and disprove the ravings of a mad man but according toa study in a Peer Reviewed journal criminology theres no correlation between increased crime and degeneration. Hurting and killing each other is a job americans are willing to do themselves. Donald k you point to figure that backs up your statement . This was an article by fusion. Somebody said fusions owned by univision. This one says 80 of Central American women and girls are raped crossing into the United States. Thats about women being raped. Its not about criminals coming across the border or entering the country. Well, somebodys doing the raping, don. laughter jon to touche. I believe we have our Campaign Slogan from 2016 somebodys doing the raping. applause it is hard to get mad at donald trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you dont get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo. Its a monkey. Its what they do. In some ways its on you for watching. What does get me angry is the ridiculous disingenuous defending of the poopthrowing monkey. Ya know, a lot of politicians would have apologized by now and said, well, this is what i really meant. Thats really what he meant, largely. He said, ya know, there theres a problem when the southern border is not secure. Jon nobody really canceling business with donald trump. If he had said in his speech, you know, there is a problem when our southern borders are insecure. But thats not what he said. When mexico sends its people, theyre not sending their best. Theyre rapists. And some, i assume, are good people. Jon hes still not even sure if some are good people laughter well, i think what happens is that that it gets distorted, perhaps a little bit. He didnt say most mexicans were rapists. He said they are hes speaking generally speaking of the criminals that are doing this. Jon i dont even know what that means, but i know thats not what he said let me play this again at a speed even steve king can understand. playing slowly theyre rapists. And some, i assume, are good people. Jon get. It. Steve . Do you understand thats what people are upset about . applause so are we settled . Should he apologize for what he said . I dont think he should apologize for speaking out against the problem that is illegal immigration. I recognize the p. C. World, the Mainstream Media dont want to admit it jon that is such buzz word bleep . Lets get straight what donald trump said. Follow the classy ball. Theyre bringing drugs. Theyre bringing crime. Theyre rapists. And some i assume, are good people. cheers and applause jon stop pretending he said mexico is purposely sending us drugs killers and rapists and within that group there may be hes not sure some people who are good. Thats the part hes not sure about. Hes only sure about the overwhelming number of killers, rapist and drug addicts mexico has sent us. Thats what he said. But the one good thing to come out of this is the farce of this candidacy is on display for all voters see and the results will be obvious. The billionaire who jumped to second place among republicans in a recent National Poll also placing second in the first two critical battle grounders of iowa and new hampshire. Jon bleep me. If you cant stand the heat, get off the test track. Get the mercedesbenz youve been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. Hurry, before this opportunity cools off. Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. Break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. Hanes underwear and socks with revolutionary xtemp technology are designed to respond to your body temperature to help keep you cool. Lets put it to the test. Hey dad emily . Ready . Wait no wait slow down a little oow watch out for the speed bumps it speeds evaporation to help keep you cool and dry. Hanes xtemp technology for men and women. Because when youre cool youre comfortable. So good. cheers and applause jon welcome back what is in a name . That by we we call a rose by any other name would still. You know . Grow and. laughter you know, when it comes to mountains, its trickier as Jordan Klepper reports. P. C. Culture is out of control. First, they came for our team names and i said nothing because i wasnt a professional sports franchise but now theyre coming for our mountains. Mt. Mckinley named after our beloved 25th president is under attack by the Indigenous People of alaska. They call it mt. Mckinley but we want it to be denali. All over alaska, people are advocating to name this mountain after a popular Sport Utility vehicle. Its our lands and our people have put a lot of value into the name denali of the mountain. It means the high one or the great one. This mountain has been named after mckinley since 1896. What gives you the right rewrite 100 years of history . My people have been here over 10000 years. 10,000 . Really . bleep . But luckily, people who dont live anywhere near the mountainen are able to stop the geographic board of names from considering this outrageous proposal and proud ohio thinks mckinleys legacy is worth fighting for. The people of ohio are very adamant that we want the name to stay mt. Mckinley. He had a lot of contributions to our nation and deserves it. Because he was the first one to the top of the mountain. He didnt climb the mountain. Was the First American president to see the mountain. He never saw the mountain. Did so much for alaska. Alaska was not a state at the time. What is it that has to do with ohio . , well, its our president whose name is on a mountain and he was the best president who came from ohio. One of our greatest president s . Above average president. Hes not one of the best but not the worst. That counts for smrks not being the worst. Absolutely. Gotta hurt when the curator of your own museum thinks youre just all right. But the people of canton, ohio wont stop fighting for their favorite mediocre son. Actually, i dont know a lot about him. He done all kind of things. He voted for the constitution. You dont likely know bleep about president mckinley but you do know you definitely shouldnt change the name of the mountain. Right. But as he showed me his alaska home, it was clear he need add lesson in ohio. This is a land that provides a living for our people. You should see canton a gift shop, a pro football hall of fame everyone has to see once in their life. The spirit of mckinley was everywhere i looked. Look a big dog. We call that a moose and baby moose, one of the primary food sources of my people. Mckinley had a parrot named washington post, i think, that sang yankee doodle. So. Sadly he still didnt get it. When someone comes here and tries to rename it, a person whos never been to alaska in the first place, its a disrespect to the value of our people and culture. But im sure the people of ohio have good reasons for continuing the fight. What would happen if the name got changed . Maps everywhere got to change google. Its a hassle to change a name. Dont want to change the name. Sorry native alaskans, we cant honor your heritage because it would be a hassle. You start unnaming a mountain after a president , you forget all about him and its a bad road to go down. What do you know about alaskan culture . Nothing. Do you agree its good to help people know about it. Sure. Renaming a mountain is hassle, but a sacrifice alaskans must mike. This could be hayes mountain, thats a taft tail if ive ever seen one. Thats. Thats an east coast way of thinking i guess. Thank you. Is had to be part of ohios culture over a century. I had to see it close but of course i dont know how to climb bleep . President mckinley president mckinley president mckinley what are the actual lyrics . Finally i was on the mountain that reminded canton of their beloved president. bleep . Bheep to. bleep to do with ohio. Maybe your people have been disrespected for long enough. We need to be able to change the tide and honor the people of whose lands we live on. From the git go, resistance from ohio. Yeah, because theyre dicks. Trust me. Thats not my call. I stand by it. People from ohio are dicks. Legislators from ohio, i have one more message for you. cheers and applause Jordan Klepper everyone groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. Hot pockets brings you new snack bites. 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Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. Real fruit in silky smooth dove dark chocolate. Dove fruit. Choose a pleasure less ordinary. [ male announcer ] cats will do anything for the irresistible taste of temptations treats. What are you doing . Oh, here check this out. [ meows ] temptations. Cats cant resist. cheers and applause jon welcome back my guest tonight bestselling author, her book is called lafayette in the somewhat United States. Please welcome back to our Program Sarah vowell cheers and applause jon sarah vowell is here ive missed you. I know jon im so delighted you could come join us. Im glad i could be at your death bed, too just like president garfield of ohio. Jon it is sivment does mckinley deserve an Alaska Mountain . Theyre just throwing mountains around to everybody. Do we really want to talk about mckinley . I mean who doesnt, right . Jon yeah, i do want to talk about lafayette. Because im fascinated. I have been thinking about mckinley. Jon why. Because of news about the Confederate Flag. You know the civil war the people in the union and the president at the time, a lot of ones on that side were republicans. Jon yes. And then a lot of people these days who want to keep the Confederate Flag on their stupid state lawns are, some of them are republican. And youre, like what happened . It was president mckinley. He had this guy named mark hannah, like jon the animater . laughter he was like his karl rove. Jon oh, okay. He has a very nice tomb in cleveland, if youre in town. And he decided, you know, it was in the 1890s, and he decided there are all these white guys down south that can vote. We should get them to vote for the republicans. He sent mckinley down south and mckinley gave speeches about how the civil war was about american valor. Jon wow thats how they jon thats southern strategy. Thats how they started jon why didnt that take hold until, like, George Wallace and the dixiecrats . Well, it takes a while because the guy still remembered being shot at laughter jon so still dont trust the democrats, they were shooting at them. It was a long process but i feel they were successful in the end laughter jon lets go back even further, now to the beginning of this grand extravaganza and lafayette. Lets ruin everyones fourth of july. Jon lets not. Let us enlighten the world from your perspective, why lafayette, what is so valuable about him and how did a child he was a child. He was 19. Jon a child yeah. Jon when he came to basically defend america. Yeah. Jon why did he do that . One reason the british had killed his dad in a war, so he had a grudge. laughter jon this is get tock a theme throughout history. He wanted to get away from his inlaws laughter and he believed in the ideals of freedom and liberty. Jon so did lafayette then have to convince the king of france, why dont we get involved in this . Which could explode it into a global war . Right, he was in on it. There were some ministers working for the king of france, you know, Prime Minister verjin. Jon yeah, he was tremendous. Yeah. Well, i think of you as my verjin. Jon you think of he as your Prime Minister of verjin who ultimately got the king killed. Because he spent his money helping us and they went bankrupt and the peasants are like, im hungry laughter the Founding Fathers had a problem with taxation without representation in general but are pretty open minded about taxing the french people. Jon without representation. Yeah. Jon that is an irony that i never picked up on. Somebody should write a book about it. laughter jon i hope they do soon. Very soon. Yeah. Jon so lafayette comes here. He wants glory. Without lafayette, in truth, we have to be honest here without lafayette, there is no United States. We dont defeat. Well, hes pretty important. Hes thinking im going to go help these people who believe in liberty and, you know some of them wanted to stay in Great Britain and some of them wanted to fire george washington. Jon right. We were always a bunch of bickerers. Jon so youre not surprised by the tenor in the country right now youre not surprised by the arguments were having in the country now and this has really been a part of our dna from the getgo. Sure. And its our strength as well as weakness. At continental congress, one guy said we should have a fast day. They dont eat to humble themselves before their god. And jefferson is like, mmm, that seems a little religious laughter and then john adams stands you have and hes like, jefferson i thought you were a man of piety and virtue and now in laughter and right at the moment, adams is like, hmm, jefferson is my friend, maybe i offended him. At that moment jefferson got up out of his chair and went over and just sat next to his friend, john adams. So its, like, we can fight and we can disagree but we can still sit next to each other. applause Jon Lafayette in the somewhat United States that is a beautiful message to end this on. One of my favorite authors of all time. Lafayette in the somewhat United States, on the bookshelves in october cheers and applause if unsightly tartar buildup is giving your dog bad breath. Try doggie dentures. Now available in extra white umm, youre kidding right . Just give me dentastix. The dog treat thats clinically proven to reduce tartar buildup. You ever think about how the cement of your driveway. Connects to the ends of the earth . From roller coaster hills. To musical streets and movie chase scenes. Its all one road. Everywhere you take it tells your story. And wherever you are is where the road begins. The camry. Toyota. Lets go places. We arent looking for just any college students. Were looking for ones ready to take classes on campus a kitchen table, a countertop or all of the above. If youre that kind of student youre our kind of different. Devry university. Different. On purpose. Hey, whats up, man . Hey, so what are you up to tonight . Ah, nothing much. Just Something Like a little karaoke thing. Well, lets hear some. No, right here . Carry on my wayward son. There will be peace when you are done. So, nope. You know the rest. Thank you. I go on at 9. Or 9 30, sometimes they run late. Carry on as long as you are you its miller time. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. The mercedesbenz summer event is here. Now get the unmistakable thrill. And the incredible rush of the mercedesbenz youve always wanted. But you better get here fast. Yay, daddys here here you go, honey. Thank you. Because a good thing like this wont last forever. See your authorized dealer for an incredible offer on the exhilarating c300 sport sedan. But hurry, offers end soon. Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. Get excited for the 1989 world tour with exclusive behind the scenes footage all of taylor swifts music videos interviews, and more. Xfinity is the destination for all things taylor swift. Jon thats our show here it is, your moment of zen consumers should not be looking over any fireworks. These are designed to be lit by professionals so consumers can be joining them in a sky