[roaring] [yelling] yeah rah rahh rah vengeance is mine no, please please show mercy rah [screaming] [gauge beeping] [cheers and applause] thank you, my children. Weve all been through a lot. We got caught up in scauses that didnt mean squat. They turned my message away from the teachings it hid and made it about me and the things that i did which, of course, i didnt do. And even if i did use performance enhancing drugs, so did all the other prophets. But i didnt. So what have we learned from this great wristband theft . Maybe that when stripped of our scauses, only causes are left, and causes shouldnt be worn on our wrists with a sneer. Lets keep our causes where they belong, which is right here. On tshirts free pussy riot [cheers and applause] free pussy riot boys yeah from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out wow so much energy thank you so much for coming out. Im trevor noah. Our guest has been hailed as one of the greatest authors of our generation. Tanehisi coates is joining us, everybody cheers and applause trevor well be chatting about his first novel the water dancer. One of the biggest democrats drops out of the race. How to eat meat without eating meat and donald trump has invaded the u. K. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with facebook. The Worlds Largest social Media Company and web site that reminds you its the birthday of someone you met once. laughter recently, it came out that Mark Zuckerberg had a secret meeting with President Trump at the white house and now for the first time zuckerberg is being asked what that meeting was about. You dont want to take down political ads that people know are false, that they contain false information. What i believe is that, in a democracy, its really important that people can see for themselves what politicians are saying so they can make their own judgments. You had dinner with the president at the white house. What was the nature of the meeting. Can you say . Sure. I mean, we talked about a number of things that were on his mind and some of the topics that you read about in the news around our work. Did he try to lobby you in any way. No. I mean, i dont think that thats i think some of the stuff that people talk about or think gets discussed and these discussions are not really how that works. Okay. I also want to respect it was a private dinner and reception. Trevor oh, so now Mark Zuckerberg believs if privacy. Oh, no, privacy is a thing. I think everyone should know what the politicians are saying. What about you . No. Get the heck out of here. He sounds less human every time he speaks. In a democracy, we must share our voices and the weather today is going to be partly cloudy, 64 degrees. It almost sounds like siri is his voice coach like shes trying, just speak normally like this. Okay, this is me talking normally. That was terrible. You sound like that rumba i dated. laughter lets be real, theres no way trump didnt lobby zuckerberg at their secret meeting. Why else would the president have him come to the white house . Did trump need help in untagging himself in erics photos . If trump didnt want anything, you have to believe he wanted to hang out with Mark Zuckerberg, really . These two have nothing in common. What would that conversation be like. I like models. Do you like models . I like data models in algorithmic sets no, i mean supermodels. This guy sucks. laughter while facebook is under fire for shady political ads, theres a nonpolitical ad thats taken social media by storm. As the Christmas Season spins into high gear a new app is going viral for all the wrong reasons facing backlash after sending shoppers into a vicious cycle. A paleton . Give it up for the first time im excited. Lets do this. Five days in a row. You surprised . I am. 6 00 a. M. Yea. Rising with the sun it was totally worth it. A year ago, i didnt realize how much this would change me. Thank you. Criticism and mockery of the ad reaching a fever pitch monday on social media, one man tweeting nothing says maybe you should lose a few pounds like gifting your already rail thin life partner a paleton. Trevor oh, man i can see why some people are hating on this ad. Looks like the dude bought his skinny wife exercise equipment as a christmas present. Which is shitty. It would be worse if santa brought her the bike, i think you need this more than i do ho, ho, ho i think some people are outraged at the husband for giving her this gift. Although i think your reaction has a lot to do about how you feel about the exercise. Clearly she wanted the bike, right . And if you think exercise is only for people who want to lose weight the ad can seem insensitive. On the other hand, if you think exercise is something people do for fun, the ad is fine. People exercise for stress relief, fitness or if youre like me, for revenge. Hiya once i get Strong Enough to punch through a brick ill get revenge on the brick that killed my uncle hiya laughter finally, 335 days until the 2020 president ial election. Yeah, which is almost enough time to watch the irishman. And the democrats are still figuring out their nominee, but after today there will be one less name to consider. Breaking news in the 2020 lead. After a promising start with huge crowds and impressive fundraising numbers, California Democratic senator Kamala Harris this afternoon announced she is dropping out of the race for president. It is with deep regret but also deep gratitude i am suspending our campaign today. But i want to be clear with you, i am still very much in this fight. Trevor wow. Kamala harris has dropped out of the 2020 race. And i dont think anybody saw this coming. Because when this race started, she was one of the favorites. This has been a twist. Its like how in season 7 of game of thrones we thought denarius would become queen, but in season 8 we realized it was a shit tv show none of us should have watched wasted our time destroyed our lives cheers and applause now, whats been really interesting for me is to see the conversations that have been sparked by smal kamala dropping. Some people say it proves that even in the Democratic Party black women dont have the support they deserve. Others say there wasnt enough black magic to erase kamalas record as a prosecutor. I think its both. Cory booker, im going to say a phrase you probably never heard before in your life, you are now the blackest person in the room dont let us down, cory laughter you know another reason this came as a shock . Because kamala had become qualified for the next debate and she chose to drop out. She was in the next debate. Meanwhile, people like Marianne Williamson is still in. Doesnt make sense. She hasnt dropped out. Shes still in there. I think her plan is to be at the one fight at wrestlemania that hides under the ring while everyone else is knocked out and then sneak in, joe biden bam i am the nominee lets it for the headlines. Lets move on to the top story. cheers and applause the impeachment of donald trump is getting closer. Today, the democrats on the House Intelligence Committee released a 300page report outlining the conclusions of their impeachment inquiry. While all of this was going on in d. C. , trump hopped on air force one and flew to the u. K. Obviously im not saying trump is fleeing the country but it was weird he only bought a oneway ticket. It was also weird he bought a ticket for his own plane. The pilot was, like, mr. President , you dont need a ticket for this, this is air force one. He was, like, oh, yeah . Why does it say oneway ticket on this k. F. C. Napkin you explain that to me obviously im joking. The real reason trump was headed to turkey was for a major n. A. T. O. Summit between america and european allies, and in classic trump fashion, he began the trip with a bang. President trump kicked off his meetings here in london with a freewheeling impromptu press conference and harsh words for french president emanuel macron. Asked about recent comments thatnateso was becoming brain dead he hit back hard. Very nasty statement. You cant go around making statements like that about n. A. T. O. , its very disrespectful. In the past President Trump had his own harsh words towards nate. N. A. T. O. Is obsolete, its old, its fat, its sloppy. laughter trevor n. A. T. O. Is old, fat and sloppy . laughter why is it that every insult trump uses against others always seems to really be about himself . cheers and applause no, i dont know if you notice, every time he mocks other people, its like a pain inside of him hes trying to project on to others. Its almost like hes taking notes during his fight with melania. Fat and sloppy, thats good. Im going to use that. How am i in bed . Maybe theres something in there. So were observe the same page, basically the french president said n. A. T. O. Was becoming brain dead partly because Trumps Administration had stopped supporting it. Trump as part owner of a dying brain thought macron was insulting him personally. Thats not the only reason for animosity between frans and the u. S. Because as the summit goes on, a trade war is heating up between the two countries. The Trump Administration is threatening tariffs up to 100 on 2. 4 billion worth of french imports, including wine, cheese and handbags. The new tariffs are retaliation against new french taxes targeting u. S. Tech Companies Like apple and google. Im not necessarily in love with those companies, but theyre our companies, theyre American Companies. I want to tax those companies. Theyre not going to be taxed by france. Im not going to let people take advantage of American Companies because if anyones going to take advantage of the American Companies, its going to be us, its not going to be france. laughter trevor yo no, im sorry, donald trump is rock and roll, man. How dare you take advantage of American Companies, thats what i was going to do this man is one of a kind. Hes like the worlds worst superhero. Hell stop a mugger robbing the hold lady but only so he can fly off with her purse. Its mine so, yes, in response to france announcing taxes on american tech companies, trump is now threatening to tax all the most clicheed french goods like wine, cheese and handbags. Yeah. He was probably also going to tax french fries and mistresses but that hit too close to home. Now although trump plans to punish france by taking as much from him as possible, earlier today he offered to give france something in return. We have a tremendous amount of captured fighters, i. S. I. S. Fighters over in syria, and theyre all under lock and key, but many are from france, many from germany, many from u. K. Theyre mostly from europe. I have not spoke ton the president about that. Would you like some nice i. S. I. S. Fighters . I could give them to you. You can take every one you want. The very large fighters you have on the ground are from syria, iraq and the region. It is true that you have foreign fighters coming from europe, but this is a fine where problem we have in the region. This is why he is a great politician because that was one of the greatest nonanswers ive ever heard, and thats okay. Trevor goddam whoo audience reacts that whole meeting got, as the french say, very ~bleep uncomfortable. speaking french just look at macron, you can see from his body language hes trying to hold himself back but deep down hes thinking i swear to got this buffoon is going to make me cut the bitch. I swear to god in french accent cheers and applause trevor and what a turn this relationship has taken. Just last year trump and macron were giving each other friendship trees. Remember that . Now trump is offering to send him i. S. I. S. laughter its pretty dark that trump would offer to send i. S. I. S. Fighters to macron as a gift, but i guess, on the other hand, we have found the one gift thats worse than a pelaton. Are you ready . Yes now an i. S. I. S. Fighter . first day of training with i. S. I. S. , im a little nervous, but excited. Lets do this. Five targets in a row. Are you surprised . I am. You think this is a game, huh . 6 00 a. M. , knife skills, yay up. Aaahhh aaahhh aaahhh a year ago, i didnt realize how much this was going to change me. Thank you. This n. A. T. O. Season, give the gift of i. S. I. S. cheers and applause trevor well be right back. Have you ever worked with dr. Francis . Oh yeah, hes ok. Just ok . Guess who just got reinstated well, not officially. Nervous . Yeah. Yeah me too. Dont worry about it, well figure it out. Ill see ya in there just ok is not ok. At t has americas best network, now with our best plans, at our best prices, starting at 35 a line for 4 lines. New from at t. Thgreat stocking stuffers. Ke but how about rightnowinyourmouth stuffers. Happy holidays to your mouth. Not sorry. Reeses. I receivelize travel rewards. Going new places going out for a bite going anytime. Rewarded learn more at the explorer card dot com. Is that for me . Mhm aaaah nooooo. Nooooo. Nooooo. Quick, the quicker picker upper bounty picks up messes quicker and is 2x more absorbent than the leading ordinary brand. [son loudly clears throat] sigh [mom and dad laugh] bounty, the quicker picker upper. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. We all agree that Climate Change is going to change how we live in the next few decades, but could it even change what we eat for dinner . Well, roy wood, jr. Has the answers to that question and more in this special report. We all know that americans love the hamburger, especially this one. But now scientists are trying to cancel beef. Chilling warnings in a new report beef and dairy agriculture are a key cause of the grouse gases michael pollen the obiwan of food writers says eating beef is as harmful as burning fossil fuels. Of all the things we do to contribute to Climate Change, beef is at the top. The animals produce greenhouse gas. Farts . Theyre burps. A burp is a mouth fart burping all right, we cant change the Energy System but we can all slightly modify our diet. Youre asking people to stop eating something they have been eating their whole life. Youre going to make a suggestion, dont eat a lot. After that, hamburger is illegal, it goes underground and next thing you know youre siccing bacon behind a walmart. Maybe. I get the beef sweats if i miss a burger. I think you will have to taper. To save the world i have to give up burgers, hot docks, steaks, meet balls, sirloin tips, baloney, im having a panic attack. Check out these plantbased burgers, this new generation of very sophisticated food science, they create a burger that looks a lot like a burger, its red in ththe middle, bleeds, and you cn get the taste we really like in meat. Mmm. Once i got my fix, i realized he wasnt talking about boring veggie burgers. The plantbased impossible burger is supposed to be indistinguishable from meat. You can even buy it at the carnival joins. The vision goes further than that. The mission of impossible foods is to completely replace animals as a Food Technology by 2035. Trevor hes trying to get us to give up beef by using hightech signs. The thing that makes meat taste like meat is that meat has came from the cow dying. Thats one theory, yeah. But its actually a molecule called heme, its what cattlizes all the unique plaintiffs and aromas of meat but we use it without using animals. Its not the marinade. Its not gas or charcoal. Its heme. I guess this has just been a lie all the time. It tastes good . You have to decide. I will. First up a classic farting cow burger. You cant touch that, bro. To be polite, i tried the stupid, nastyass plant sandwich. How you make this taste like that . How did you make this plant burger taste like the meat burger . Well, it took a number of years. Its the devil laughter you got some fries . Roy, this is great. Were vegetarian now. This taste just like meat. Dont listen to him, roy. No such thing as a meat plant. Youre too old to switch sides. What i need is real meat that doesnt fart up the environment. Luckily another tech company just is working on that in their top secret lap. We find the best tasting cows in the world, take cells from those cows. You put that cell line in a byo reactor. The byo reactor enables the cell to double. Attend of it, you have raw meet. Not real. When you taste it, you will see. This is real meat without all the consequences that come from killing lots of animals. Thats right, you heard nerd superman. These guys are growing freakish clone meat in a lab. If this is real, its time for collaboration. You can do meat, take one of my cells and grow it in a lab and have roy meat. We wouldnt want to do that. Im delicious. Its what i have been told. We want to focus on staff that could actually do good for the world. Sound like a good plan, man. Youre making best meat, get it out there. I love a good cheeseburger, whats your meat cost, 3 or 4 a pound . The Chicken Nugget is about 50 bucks. How many nuggets . Just one. Youre crazy. laughter a sixpiece nugget costs 300. Thats right. ~bleep . How good could a 50 clone Chicken Nugget taste. Is it even safe . crunching let me get a three piece. I cant. Thats all we have. Who the ~bleep just make two nuggets . All this shit in here and all you got is two nuggets . Yall are lying. Where are the nuggets at . Got to be in here. The clone burger is years away and then might cost as much as avolve o. Sure, you could go with plant meat but that still costs more than a fart burger and its wish craft. What are brokeass carnivores supposed to do to save the planet . Michael had the craziest idea. A burger once a week. Only eat meat once a week . Try that and see what happens. laughter once a week . Try it. Only eat meat once a week . Try it. Man, you should be in comedy. laughter trevor roy wood, jr. , everyone. Well be right back. We ordered 10,000 units. That sounds good. Pretty cool, huh . Theyre speaking to mom in japanese, and mom hears them in english. Can you understand me . Yes, i can understand you. Okay. I have a lot of questions. How do you guys fly . What does santa do in the summer . Is mrs. Claus a good cook . Do you guys get presents . Can you roller skate or ice skate . Look, its just like when i tell people abbe confident. Th geico. Stand up straight. And speak with purpose. Yeah . Go on, give it a practice run. Kelsey. Kelsey. Marriage . Oh. Okay. Look maybe you should just show her this beautiful Helzberg Diamond ring . Thats a better idea. Yeah, maybe not in the bathroom. Oooh oh my word geico. Its easy to switch and save. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a bestselling author and National Book award winner whose debut novel is called the water dancer. Please welcome tanehisi coates. cheers and applause all right. Trevor welcome back to the show glad to be here. Trevor yeah . This is the last thing im doing. Trevor this is your last press for the book, like ever. Yes, yes trevor this is a good day. I dont want to talk about it ever again. laughter trevor you have been on a whirlwind with this book, though, because, i mean, like, youre ending it here but, i mean, it kicked off in applies few authors dream of their book ever kicking off, and that was with oprah winfrey. Yeah. Trevor and since then, it really has been a beautiful journey for not just the book but yourself because a lot of people know you as a writer who critiques and analyzes america. Its history and its present and how the history has affected the present and how people dont want to deal with that. But the novel is a completely different world for you. Obviously youve written comics but this is fiction. Right. Trevor that is in a very real place and this is what really intrigues me about the book is you dont refer to the people in the book as slaves. This is when its taking place in and around slavery in america. Right. Trevor but youre very selective about the words you use. Why dont you call the people slaves and say they are slaves and as a slave, and you dont do that. Why . Well, like, for africanamericans, particularly, there is and one day well have to talk about whether its the same way with apartheid, but there is a popular notion in the mindset of what inoy call enslavement was. So theres this idea of rape, chains, whips, you know, roots, you know. Trevor right. Thats what people and, so, what you have to do is, like, you have to make it your own and you have to create a kind of image almost or world, like its slavery but its your slavery, if that makes sense, its your rendition of it, your vision of it. I wanted something that did not exist. So a strong part of that, man, you know, is coming up with new ways of describing it, so to get new ways to describe it, you need new words. Trevor interesting. Yes, you wrote the book, you still write, you still ponder, youre still out there. Yes. Trevor one of the articles you wrote has tranche a lot of attention, obviously criticism, backlash, support, all of the above, and you wrote about colin kaepernick. Mmm. Trevor fascinating article about the can cancellation of cn kaepernick and cancell culture as a whole. One of the most beautiful sections is where people like to make it seem cancel culture some used by liberal students and the snowflake left, but you say cancel culture has for long been wielded by those who control power. The acts in history is like the killing of women at salem because they looked at somebody wrong or some other. The salem witch trials. In the case of colin kaepernick, listen, you had a president of the United States who used basically the authority, you know, and, you know, the majesty of the state to threaten the n. F. L. Into keeping this guy out of earning a living he had been training for since he was a kid. What more effective and devastating act of cancellation can you come with . That dont match anything some kids in a cafeteria somewhere on a quad that dont like milo have done and yet we find ourselves focusing on that. You know what i mean . As i argue in the piece, i think that has a lot more to do with who is doing the canceling than it does with, you know, what we think about canceling. Trevor oh, thats interesting. People get canceled all the time and some people should be canceled, by the way. You know . Trevor but who is canceling can affect how we see the canceler. Thats true. Trevor than thank youphor coming on the show. I hope nobody asks you about this book ever again. I dont want to hear about it laughter trevor buy the book, read the book but dont ask him about the book the water dancer is available now. Tanehisi coates, everybody well be right back cheers and applause when you move homes, you move more than just yourself. Thats why xfinity has made taking your internet and tv with you a breeze. Really . Yup. 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