Dempsey met with military children at a forum hosted by the childrens coalition. He offered advice to those who wanted to join the service. His wife also spoke at the event. General dempsey will retire soon and in other general will become the next chair, already confirmed by the senate. This is 40 minutes. [applause] next i have the honor to introduce to individuals that are no strangers to the military coalitions. This is the fifth year that general dempsey and his wife have joined us and participated with the Military College education coalition. General dempsey is the 18th chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. He and his wife have been married 39 years and have raised three children, all of which have won the uniform of this nation. There is no couple that provides more support me in the dempseys. Day in and day out, they have been supporters of what we do and stand for. So it is with great honor and pleasure that i introduced two good friends, general Martin Dempsey and his wife dd. Deedee. [applause] we are glad to be back. This is our fifth year, so for those of you who know the military, i now qualify for my silver oak leaf. Every year has been a joy to see you and to feel the commitment that you have made to our children. My wife often room reminds me that there are things we have to do. I did one of those yesterday. And then there are things that we get to do, and we get to spend time with people like you. As we come to the end of our career, that is the part that we will really miss because we admire what you do so much. Briefly, then i will turn it over to my wife, then we will bring a panel of the sting was questioners. Distinguished questioners. On this day, Kris Kristofferson was born. He crosses generations, many of us remember him as a countrywestern singer with johnny cash. Others might remember him as an actor in movies. He was also in the film the dolphin tale. I mentioned him because he is a military child, the son of an air force general. He did well for himself and made his living and entertainment. He describes the a military child as magical and painful all at the same time. I think many of us can relate to what that means. He was commissioned into the army and volunteered for vietnam, but they sent him to west point to teach english. While he was there, he decided to get out of the military and pursue his career in music. I mention it, because i was a cap in captain teaching at English Teaching at west point, and ive often wondered [laughter] no not really. I will turn over to my wife and then we will bring those youngsters out here. Deedee thank you for those moms , for what you do for children. Because we get to travel and hear the issues. You ought to be proud of what you do for all those kids. I wish that you are there when my kids were little. Thank you for being here and thank you for all of you and what you do. General dempsey bring them in. When is the raffle . I have been hanging on to my ticket. What happened to the raffle . I was hoping to be part of that. Dont make eye contact. They are here. These are military children. You can introduce yourselves and then you will ask questions. Introduce yourself. I am Katelynn Johnson from Falcon High School in colorado and i will be a junior. I am sarah from washington. I will be a senior next year. I am a junior in florida. I am Raul Gonzalez and i am in junior high. I am a junior at Falcon High School in colorado. Gen. Dempsey how about a round of applause . [applause] ok, katelynn. General dempsey. How do you define your success . Gen. Dempsey i dont know. [laughter] oh, you want me to extrapolate . Yes, please. Gen. Dempsey that is a great question. It works at a bunch of levels. The thing i am most proud of about myself although pride is counter to humility which i think is the greatest virtue of all in senior leaders, but i am proud of being a soldier. Not much more than that. Meaning, it is not about the stars. That surprises people sometimes. I am proud of being a soldier, a husband and a father. Do you think that failure plays a part in that success . Gen. Dempsey could you hear the question . Can you Say Something to make sure they hear you . Yes, sorry. Do you think that failure plays a part in that success . Gen. Dempsey failure plays a part in every success. In life im sure, you have overcome your own challenges. Its like chumbawamba, i get knocked down and i get up again. [laughter] i am trying to connect to the kids. Do you want me to break into uptown funk do you . Dont believe me just watch it really is true. You measure the path of life and the ability to stumble and keep on the path. There are some things that i tell youngsters, to include my own kids, being in high school is about keeping doors open. Every door that you imagine is open to you until you do until you do something to close it. That is the great thing about being american. I am a grandson of four irish immigrants. My father was a postman and my mother stocked shelves at a convenience store. I am the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. That would not happen anyplace else. The doors are open, you just cannot close them. You can stumble, you just cannot fall flat on your face. I will leave it to your imagination to decide which are stumbles and which are catastrophe. Do you want to add anything . No. Gen. Dempsey you get your own questions . Deedee i am not helping you with yours. [laughter] gen. Dempsey anything else . That is it, for now. I have a question, mr. Mrs. Dempsey. If you had to start over again that our age, would you have done anything differently . Deedee when i was your age is when i met this guy sitting next to me. The life i lead, i never would have imagined at that age and out looking back i would not have changed it. It has been an amazing ride. I dont think i would. General dempsey, i have a question for you. Gen. Dempsey good. Are you ready . Do you have any mentors . Gen. Dempsey of course. Mentors are an important part of growing up. It is a twoway street. You can want anyone to be your mentor, they have to want to be that in return. I have been blessed, in particular, that the military leaders i have chosen by the way, they do not always have to be older than you. I have peers who i consider to be mentors. I have military mentors, some of whom are still on active duty. Though, i am now, for better or worse, the oldest officer on active duty. It is hard to find someone older than me to mentor me. But, mike ksyewski is a great friend. I love the way that he carries himself. His confidence and values. If you are not a duke fan, you probably do not care. If you are a yankee fan you have to live with people from boston. But mentors can illuminate they cannot actually do it for you. You have to do it yourself but they can illuminate ideas you may not have had the opportunity to think for yourself. You can take them in. You are the aggregate of the things that impress you and inspire you. I am not a person who believes that you need one mentor. I think that you have to cast your net very wide so you can understand how others have done it and then decide how much of each of them will become you. Ultimately it is you. Have they impacted your life . Gen. Dempsey constantly. I get phone calls, sometimes unsolicited and sometimes i reach out every week, for sure. Not every day. Every week i will reach out or be reached. In particular, on things like i am the only one who can define for myself this issue of civilian and military relations. It is challenging. In the information age, trying to stay centered as the senior military leader, the advisor to the president and the secretary of defense, the mentor of Combatant Commanders and the field of servicemen, i have to work to find that centerline. To make sure we are finding a political apolitical, best military advice. Sometimes i will call up a professor who i have a relationship with and i will say how did that go . Yesterdays congressional testimony . They will say, you moved a little too close to the shoulder of the road. I have not talked to them today so this is not about yesterday. [laughter] but they will tell me. The left or right of the centerline. Not the political left or right, but they help center me. They help me think about my job. Thank you. Gen. Dempsey you are welcome. Mr. Dempsey, in in gen. Dempsey we are proud of you. Take your time. Can you describe the life of being married to the general . Gen. Dempsey in one word . [laughter] i have this whole vocabulary. Deedee humbling. To be in this position is humbling. You get the opportunity to touch the sailors and marines as you travel around. Because of martys job, i have influence to help in situations. To be given that gift is very humbling. There are probably 50 words i could give not yours, probably. If i had to do one, it would be humbling. You are also an ambassador for your country. Marty and i do a lot for our counterparts around the world. No matter where you go, we are representing the United States of america. You land in that plane as the United States of america and people are in awe, with their cameras, taking pictures. It is neat to know we have been giving this gift to serve our country and our Service Members and to care about them as best we can. Gen. Dempsey your word was better than mine. [laughter] general dempsey, how did you become involved with mcec and how are you helping others . Gen. Dempsey that is a great question. It started when i was chief staff of the army. We were asked to come to this thing called mcec, frankly i did not know what it was. Deedee i did. [laughter] gen. Dempsey i didnt, really. The way it works for a fourstar general is you have a meeting in your office and you say to your a aide de camp, what is next . As you are walking, you prepare for that event. I know that you think i took weeks to prepare for tonight today. Is it night . [laughter] but it is your lot in life that your life is directed for you. I said to my aide, where are we going . He said mcec. I said, what . I had no idea. I got here and you cannot help but fall in love with the organization and the idea. Just the idea that there is a group of people that gather together with sponsors to try to help military children navigate the path they took. So, i have not missed it since. We build our calendar about six months out. When i build my calendar, there are three to four things we put on the calendar and we tell the rest of the world to fit around it. Sometimes the white house is a bit of a challenge. That is why these morning events are better for me. They dont really spring into action until the early afternoon, and well into the evening. [laughter] seriously, it has been a privilege to be a part of it. How has that helped my development . The answer is, you can become isolated as the chairman unless you put yourself out there and try to find out what is going on. I learn a lot from the adults. I will ask a couple of you a question in a minute. I hope youre ready for that. Mrs. Dempsey, same question. How did you become involved in mcec . Deedee i was in germany. In what was at that time called awag. Having children in school i wanted to learn more about it. My kids were grown and you get away from it. Then, we were asked to come back to speak, it renewed that interest and appreciation of what mcec does for all of you kids. Thank you. Gen. Dempsey is it my turn . She said, if you would like it to be. [laughter] general dempsey, what is some advice you would give to anyone interested on joining the military . Gen. Dempsey advice on joining the military. There are several things. We give young men and women purpose, meaning and variety. We give them a genuine purpose. You can feel like you are accomplishing something and you are part of the team. My instinct is that young men and women in america today, at some level because of electronic devices, are content to sit in the middle of a football field all by themselves with a laptop connected to the world, you know what i mean . They want to be kind of by themselves but in the virtual world, connected to everybody , everything, and all information. What the military does is take that instinct for belonging to something and make it physical. We take it out of the virtual world. From the moment you come in to any service, you are part of the team. That idea is literally drilled into you and eventually it becomes your own. So thats purpose. There is no higher meaning than being willing to protect your fellow citizens. There is a notion that the military is this kind of monolithic, giant, faceless lack of caring organization. Actually, it nurtures. It has a builtin system of mentoring. Importantly, we change jobs almost constantly. We moved 23 times. How many times have you moved . Neither of my [laughter] gen. Dempsey not only do we move you geographically but we move you from job to job so you can develop this versatility. We literally invest in your development from the time you come in to the time you get out. The last thing i will tell you there is no more fair place on the planet than in the military. We embrace every race, every ethnic group, every religion. We are literally genderless and becoming even more so. It is genuinely a place where an irish immigrant can become the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. Thats all ive got for you. Thank you. Gen. Dempsey youre welcome. Before we came here this week, we were all asked to decide on a defining moment that changed us into who we are to do and who we will eventually become. And i would like to know if you have a defining moment or moments that kind of made you the man you are today. Gen. Dempsey well, thats a profound question, young lady. Thank you. Gen. Dempsey a good question, actually. You know, a defining moment is tough to pin down, but i will tell you this. I went to west point because my mother wanted me to go. Really that is why i went to west point. My mother wanted me to go. I got there and it lit my fire and i got enthusiastic about it. Deanie and i were not sure that we wanted to spend our lives in the military. I made the promise to her that many of you have made to your spouses in the past. I said after five years my obligation is over and i will become whatever. Five years came and went and the next and you know we were on this slope to 41 years. But what was fascinating was that i got out to about 18 or 19 years or so and i was contemplating leaving at 20. And our kids were saying you can i get out. I said, wait a minute, i thought i was the one keeping us in. What had happened was it had flipped actually. My wife and children had become just as inspired or maybe even more inspired and so here we are. In fact that was part of a , conversation as my son was struggling over whether to go to west point or not. He had an appointment to west point as well as to some really incredible rotc opportunities and he went to west point. My son went to west point. My daughter went to west point right behind him, and our youngest went to wake forest on an rotc scholarship. It was the finest moment for me when it became not just my particular passion, but our familys passion. General dempsey, what were your goals that you set out to accomplish when you joined the military. What were they. Gen. Dempsey when i started . Yes, sir. Gen. Dempsey well, when you start west point, your goal is to survive. [laughter] its a great question because people ask me now, you know, what do i have to do to become the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. A young lieutenant every once in a while will pop that question. My answer flippantly at first is you shouldnt want to do that. It is not because of the job. That is not the right question to be asking at 22 years of age. The right question to be asking yourself is what exactly are you trying to do with your life. And in my case, the reason why the military was such a great fit is that i found i had a passion for building teams and for trying to make the team better than the sum of its parts. So you take as a platoon leader, a 30man in those days, it was all men, but now there is it is men and women. That it is a 30man team and you try to make it the best it can be. Not out of some sense of ambition, but because you want to see that team one of those things i am most proud of is the string of proteges that have now succeeded behind me. In terms of legacy, your legacy is not a piece of equipment or a particular job. It is what you left behind in terms of a commitment that people make to this profession. So that has been the goal. , it just got a little bigger over time. I wanted to do the best i could for those 30 men. Now we are trying to figure out how to do the best weekend for 2. 1 million. It is a little daunting on occasion, but it is the same goal. What some support systems were in place to help you achieve those goals . Gen. Dempsey she is sitting right next to me. You cant have a steady, Firm Foundation at work and go home unless that foundation is equally solid. In other words, to accomplish the goals that you set for yourselves in whatever profession you choose. And i hope you choose professions, something you can be passionate about. But you have to work equally hard at home to make sure you have a little balance in your life. The first and foremost support system is family and always been will be your family. In 58 days not that i am counting when i retire thats it. Those who have been in the military know there is this wonderful ceremony. We pass a flag from one officer to the next. He goes out to the Officers Club at fort myers, virginia, for a reception. We stand there and shake hands and all of a sudden everybody is , gone. Literally, everybody is gone. You realize, you know, you go from being invited to sit on a panel and talk to children and go to the white house situation room and appear before congress. When that is done, what you have is your family. You might get invited back if you do well, i suppose. But what you have at the point is your family. The second thing, in the military, we have two chains of support, the noncommissioned officer corps, who are fantastic. They are probably the only ones who will tell the emperor that they have no clothing. [laughter] they are brutally honest. They are the standardbearers. They will tell you you know they will complement you when you are doing well and they will plant a boot someplace when you are not. And then you have the officers chain of command which is actually challenged or chartered to make sure you keep getting the right jobs. We like to put Junior Officers in a position where they can succeed. So those are pretty incredible. Those three pillars, the officer chain of command, the noncommissioned officer chain of command, your family, provide a whole bunch of support. And what educational skills do you find, do you find lacking in young servicemembers. Gen. Dempsey lacking . Lacking . Yes. Gen. Dempsey thats a fair question. I do want to be judgmental meaning its not just youngsters who might have particular gaps in the education. Just as i said that you have to have balance in your life, you have to have balance in your education. I dont think we should charge down the stem route, that it is all science and mathematics and technology. I dont even know what the e stands for. Engineering. [laughter] gen. Dempsey nor do i believe that it should just be about the humanities. Especially at your age, where you are trying to figure out what interests you and you are trying to build yourself into a wellrounded person athletically or physically, spiritually, and intellectually. I am an advocate of casting the net pretty wide. One of the things i heard said about technology is that it makes younger folks kind of a mile wide but only an inch deep. They know a lot about a little no, a little about a lot. You will have to be your own judge of that. I would just encourage you to learn for life. You are going to get the mandatory education along the way. It is kind of what you learn in between that will probably make the biggest difference. I have a little phrase i use with my general officers and admirals. Leaders are readers because they have to keep learning. I dont care what they read. They could read poetry. They could read foreign policy. They could read humanities whatever it is. I dont care. Business books about management leadership. But theyve got to keep reading because youve just got to keep , challenging yourself. As long as that occurs, the gaps fill themselves over time. I dont know. Do you have any thoughts about that . All the Mathematics Teachers are now gathering at the exit. [laughter] they are waiting to ambush me. Yes . You are in a very high . You are in a very high leadership position and have faced challenges along the way. Could you tell us some of what the Biggest Challenges you faced in your career . Gen. Dempsey the biggest challenge in military is always making sure that when we ask young men and women to go someplace to defend our homeland, to promote our National Interest and put themselves in harms way, the biggest challenge is making sure they are ready to it is also the hardest part of the job. The decision to send young men and women into harms way cannot be made without the utmost care and consideration. It doesnt mean we have to be reluctant or reticent to use the military. But when we use it, we have to be confident that it will achieve the purpose for which we use it. And inside of that, it is getting them ready, making sure it is not a cliche, but we say often that weve got to be and should be the best trained the best lead, and the best equipped force on the planet at every level. Whether i was a Second Lieutenant or now a fourstar general, it is really about making sure that americas sons and daughters who are interested in our care are ready for what we are going to ask them to do. Most of the time, they can accomplish that task. On occasion, we dont. And its heartbreaking when we dont. That is the hardest part of the job. Thank you. Im back. We have one more question. I have one more. Okay, what department of Defense Systems of support are working for the benefit of military connected children . Gen. Dempsey what department of Defense Systems support . Yeah. Gen. Dempsey i may have to phone a friend here. [laughter] Deanie Dempsey the policy and freshman rosemary williams. I know who heads it. [inaudible] yes, and family policy. Thats the one. They are definitely connected to the kids. She runs a for him and she puts out information, and in turn we give her information or issues to be worked. Gen. Dempsey now, thats the office and shes kind of a person who runs the office, but ill tell you the support group is for military families are the chiefs of staff of the services and their senior enlisted leaders and their spouses. Gen. Dempsey one of the reasons we travel is to interact with counterparts around the world. But when we travel domestically, my principal purpose is to make sure that we are giving our young air men, soldiers, marines, and coast guard members what they need and find out what is going right and, importantly, what is not going right. Then we get back on the airplane and i am trying to fall asleep and she is wearing me out. Yap, yap, yap. [laughter] what are we going to do about this or that . But its good. Then we go back and we take the staff and say here are some questions weve got. See if we can find some answers, and they do. We always do because everybody really cares. So it is the chain of command. It is not just cliche. There is a big sign there that says five minutes. [laughter] what if i want six . [laughter] ok. Again, i am not here to recruit you, although i would be happy to do so. What we say in the military is that we recruit individuals. We recruit caitlin into the military. But we retain families. And other words, we get you as an individual, but then we convince you and your family that it is in your best interest as a family to stay with us. And, you know we do really well , with that. It is one office. It is the profession that is the support structure. Ok. Gen. Dempsey ok, we probably have four minutes now. Do you have any questions for us . Gen. Dempsey i probably do. Where did it go . It went from five to two. [laughter] which clock are you on . Greenwich meridian or something . [laughter] with that two minutes, im not going to get to you. What i do want to do is tell you thanks. It is courageous. We do this all the time, so sitting in front of those people, it comes Second Nature to us now. But im sure for you, it is a little bit frightening. Maybe not. Maybe some of you are studying theater or something and you might break out into song, which is what i am going to do right now. Ok, here we go. [laughter] [applause] you have to stand up and line up here with me. This is aerobic, so we will get a little blood flowing. I do this every year. I get invited back, so it must be ok. Despite whoever is running that thing, trying to kick me off the stage. I am not leaving until i finish this song. You cant make me. It is a little irish ditty known as the unicorn song. You have . Do you know the . Do you know the motions . You are going to learn the motions. Here is how it goes. Well, there were green alligators and longnecked geese there were Humpty Dumpty camels and chimpanzees [laughter] there were cats and rats and elephants and sure as you are born, the loveliest of all was the unicorn. Ok. A long time ago when the earth was green there were all kinds of animals than you have ever seen they run around free when the earth was being born and the loveliest of all was the unicorn well, there were green alligators and longnecked geese there were humpty back camels and chimpanzees there were cats and rats and elephants and sure as youre born the loveliest of all was the unicorn gen. Dempsey well done. Ladies and gentlemen, another round of applause for my chorus. [applause] Deanie Dempsey great jobs. You guys are great. Thanks so much. Gen. Dempsey thanks. I wish you all the best. Thanks very much. Great questions. Okay. Please welcome back to the stage for special for a special presentation to the stage general and mrs. Dempsey. Welcome back to the stage general ben griffin and mary keller. Mary this year, since it is your fifth year, this is a present for deanie for the special artist, a hand blown purple purple bowl for joint. Deanie dempsey thank you. Gen. Dempsey thank you. [applause] gen. Dempsey the greatest gifts we get is to see you all together doing what doing. So thank you very much. Deanie dempsey thank you. [applause] general griffin general dempsey, general dempsey, before you leave, i want to tell you there were wonderful words for children of any age and adults of any age. I want to thank both of you for your service to this nation and a tremendous job you have done in defense of this nation, in support of the military and again in support of the military Child Education coalition. You have been special friends to them. I know you