Los angeles. [inaudible]. As well as others your joining us. Meanwhile, you will also find many of our podcast available in our library. One of media tab on the homepage. Our youtube channel, seattle whatever podcasts are pretty tango topic community. Has been do to the events. [inaudible]. On the way into the lifestream, we hope you will consider supporting us. By using the delay but that the bottom of the screen. Or through our website. And also a townhall 4432. Theyve also been hit by the navy a negative effects about the covid19 outbreak. If youre interested in supporting independent bookstores by purchasing a copy of the book tight. Please use the link on lifestream feed. Tonights conversation will last about 45 minutes. And then there will be questions. Please about your questions now in the asked the question on the podcast. Then will be able to address questions. We will try to get as many as we can. Townhalls works made possible through your support. And is supported by cultures and other foundations. Members of organizations and older members watching. [inaudible]. Chicago author, memoir of a writer who tends. Shes a cowriter of the advice. Com in addition to cohosting the sunday night show. [inaudible]. The collaborating with others. Popular book. Near times best seller list. Known fiction writer. A narrative Nonfiction Book and then merging and also pregnant. Mcr spoke. [inaudible]. For the New York Times. Bon appetit. [inaudible]. That is the subject of tonights talk. Please join me and welcoming our guests. Eight. Thank you megan. I think you townhall. You can buy the book there. And thank you sam for being here. Thank you for having me. Im used to this and im going to turn into a pumpkin at some point. Will wait and appreciate you even more. It will definitely keep you to an hour. [laughter]. We were talking earlier this week. The townhouse staff, we have to 90 minutes and i was like. I dont think we will be here for 90 minutes. Seems like a lot of time. I can do anything for more than like an hour before time. And now it is like now i take sudafed to be like. Back. Is talk to the audience. I want to steal your energy. Just let you know that i have graciously agreed to read something from the book. I want to give a little bit of an introduction to talk about with the book has meant to me. In this moment. Like during this pandemic time. Everything feels different. And on some level, everything feels kind of bad. Even like when theres joy, within a moment. The world is falling apart. We have no plans to say people and figure this out. So was reading a book, i was impressed. What is this. What is this that i feel. I feel happiness. It doesnt feel complicated or is just going to fall off. Then, was about this. The book has been do you want to wait for a second, do i need to come back. Okay. [inaudible]. This is big. Your book was an instant New York Times number one bestseller. And so last six weeks, and in the book store of the bookseller. Intervene, its okay to say that youre killing it. During this pandemic your killians. You are right. The thing about it, i was about it that way is another reason that brought me like true joy because if anyone should be killing it during the pandemic, should be a fast black clear lady whose been blinding for tenure who not long ago was narrowly waged worker. Like you and kong it illnesses and like you are like our society has said its okay if you die. Now. Like when i originally was trying to come up with the title. And wanted to go with that but one of the ones on the list was dying is fine. So i have accepted. I mean, is what we are doing every day. Im glad we did it. Im glad to talk me out of it braided. Like your success has been like an actual real joy to me. Because it feels like in this moment, is close to some bit of justice. Like when ill still have. I dont know, i just wanted to say that in thank you. I dont know how to gracefully accept a complement without deflecting it but i will say thank you. Youre welcome. You get a taste. Right pretty. No, it is good. I deserve it. Right. Thank you. See im making it weird. I dont know how to make it so that people can say nice things to me. Most normal people, will not normal there is no normal. I think people have a hard time with that. [inaudible]. I would much rather like be carrying this over a loudspeaker. Instead of looking at my actual face. If you want now, you can hide behind your book and read. I am going to read so this is a request. My favorite thing is for someone to tell me what they want to hear. And angelo wanted to hear a little bit from body negativity from this terrible book that i hope yall will purchase. Okay. Somebody make negativity, the peace and essentially about all of the things that we are told that we have to do to have a body and have a good body and have a healthy body or goodlooking body and how i didnt think any of those things were possible for a normal person. Okay. What is happening on your back right now. Do you know. How when chair is on its bridges the skin soft. Have years spending every day in a straitjacket type brought, lets weird marks on it. How are you malls doing. What is that weird scaly batch. Are you already so tired from all of the other shed that you have to keep track of that you cannot be bothered to worried about the part of your body that you cant even flipping seat. I feel that. I think the last time that i actual thought to myself, hey, wondered what is going on my back. Was in 2002 what i was sleeping with the student lives in the apartment downstairs from mine. He would moan weird shipped like you are so warm inside. And i love looking at your back while making love to my rear end. I left the first time he said the one thing because im sorry. What have you been with corpses pretty joy of undiagnosed measles. Anyway, when try to make michael back nicer for someone who enjoys looking at its. About a backs rubbing loofah sticking almost dislocated my arm trying to scrape the dead layers of skin off my back with so much force that blood. That would squirt lotion on it and after my shower and try to slather it on. Because i have an anticipated have dry and raw the trickiest part of my body to reach was going to feel after having trimmed years or ten years of dead cells off of it. Itd of having to back up to the tell rack and gingerly move myself up and down his adroit help like a dog to try to get the lotion to absorb into my wounded skin. My baby back ribs do not feel right for weeks. But the next time the homeboy tapped on my door and appropriately stated night, wearing nothing but eyes and a throbbing erection, he did stopped something in toomey long enough to ask, ouch. You follow your back. Do you want me to put some managers on this. Good old thermometer kept reminding me that no good deed goes unpunished and we should never do anything nice ever for anyone. List of your bodies of our and examine all of the ship that you could do but dont. Because there could possibly keep track of all of this to have a nice chest. On the menu groups because they do that on their own. Talking about that piece of real estate between your neck and removes begin. Heres how i take care of my chest. Sometimes when i wash my face, but only after ive taken a shower, accidentally squeeze out to his moisturizer or put too much oil into the palm of my hand and as i frantically looking around the bathroom trying to find some way of disposing of it, doesnt include dribbling it all over the floor, they would automate through that i can just rub it on my chest and have it weirdly shiny breastplate for the first few hours of the day. I know the back acne is a thing but a pretty sure i also have chest acne, and i dont know if that is what it is but sometimes i get these little bumps and what i survived puberty for 30 years later going to be in the clear aisle at the drugstore. Trying to figure out which of the options available work best. Its supposed to fit above your chin from the moment they unexpectedly sprout chest until your 99th birthday. But you know what. I cant do it. I do not have perfect its and thats okay. I think putting my nipples to the name of my neck days are over. One of the things they keep telling myself over and over again like a mantra is people already know what your body looks like so you dont have to try anymore. My breasts are shaped like summer something pretty just like im unwilling to fight with gravity is a ravages my face, these large bags of wetlands hanging below my clavicles areo longer going into daily battle. The even read the lifted. The separated. Disadvantage pretty cut right, does the other unwired dig. Does it create lumps under your is a reasonable, scratchy. Does it with moisture. I heard thats the thing youre supposed to watch. What were we talking about again. Theoretically everyone loves a strong broad shoulder nobody tells you how to get one. I guess you heather either have the barn with him or tennis with those odd machines at the gym that make you look like a bird clapping is painfully winning score. Michelle obama is the Gold Standard for arms. Im sure theres a trainer on how they got that way. But life is short. Invest in some nice cardigans. For vaseline on your elbows. Were sweatshirts, 365 days a year. Get arm definition. Arm pit maintenance as a whole thing. You could like i have, look at all of the possibilities, and occasionally spring herbal deodorant doesnt work into your dark armpit. To keep wild dogs off you. Or you could wax or sugar or shave or laser the hair off and debit with something to prevent crimes. Poweredge and deodorize it. Every day, as a couple of days, weekly. I guess that all depends on what kind of hear you have whether or not you are taking admins. I love an easy fix even if it isnt real. Just remember of the available deodorants to choose from a staggering. I dont know how a person is expected to make an informed decision without getting a bachelors degree in chemistry first free to use to just be like you want to smell my baby powder or Cherry Blossom every time you raised your arm in class. Now hey 100 percent of the time or destroy your brain. Was i supposed to keep breathing. Youre muted. I cannot hear you. I am back. Sorry everybody. I felt like this was the case. , i will hear your breed. I mean, i needed to hear this. The muted. This was out loud. I forgot where you told me to stop. And then i was like wait a minute this whole thing is really long. And i wasnt and then privately like heavy semi voice memo to samantha legend. [laughter]. I will call you and i will give you a personal reading after this. I will do it. And thank you for that. Angela i think there are so many things that your work touches on is what i love about it is fundamentally, it is about being in your body. And you are writing about every way that it interacts at every level of society. Whether its personal or how you see yourself. Thats probably why it resonates so much for so many people. As you were saying like yes, the standards that were supposed to for bodies to our possible. Even have to bridge even come close to be able to do that. And really like everyones body is a mess. Like in a different way, falling apart. But like you were saying, theres a such thing as a good body is a lie. And you are here goodbyes alive. And so i think like there is that what you are saying is it is enough to have a body. It is okay to be okay with that. Samantha at the end of the chapter i kind of get into and this is the thing that means a person dealing with the disease. All of the things that youre supposed to eat to keep your body going. I dislike if you truly eight to 12 cups of kale or whatever and broccoli. You never stop eating. Like there just is no time or all of the like things that youre supposed to eat. In addition to all you want to eat. And then the things that you want to eat. Like i need 14 cow stomachs to consume all of that. But theres this idea that someone somewhere is doing it. The someone out there is getting all of the folic acid they need during the day and all of the vitamins. If but its in his know and i have ever met. [laughter]. And like the ideas i can never be me. It is impossible. Im just never going to like like all of the nutrients are going to get rid son like the fiber in this not afraid. Angela so take a part of the think of eating pretty the pleasure. it is your job. This basically like a fulltime job. Like what youre talking about. Thank you want some joy in there. Im not so you can never be full either afraid i need 14 cups of kale. Samantha i had one for dinner. I felt very much like a loved myself for the five minutes. The rest of the time that i was eating the salad, i was just thinking while this is a lot of work. And i dont know. I really wish there was something else. So i just wanted all to be free enough to like say im not getting in all of the beans and that is fine. I dont eat enough beans revolution, and that will be good for me. Angela i think theres also this idea of culture that if you did do your optimal kale and nut situation. Somehow you would be perfectly healthy. Theres this idea that if youre healthy, your morally superior probably. Chris what about people were living with these problematic bodies. Nevertheless good rain. Angela i would much rather do whatever i am going to do and that shame. Samantha im talking to my friend deb who had watched a documentary and he was like, you know like people watch documentary think like they are a professional all of a sudden. And i was thinking you watched one of eating came to be 87 he got cut out this need to do that. And i was like man, if you are 72 and like, you dont want to potatoes. What is the point and why do you live to be that age if you cant like a nice cream all day if you want. So you can be around at 90. Like no way. Im actively decomposing all of the time. Im just going to do whatever i can do to get to the next day. Angela because dying is fine. Samantha yeah. And sometimes this is salad and sometimes it is jesus. [laughter]. Angela he writes much about your body so openly. Like where did that come from. How did you start out. Like im going to become a writer now. I think. But as i come from. Because a lot of people uncomfortable with it. Samantha i definitely do not go from the smart progressive people. And there is no like sort of, i mean, nobody ever gave me a hard time because i was fat they certainly the work like to waste your body. Just like well, we are poor. You look like will we look. Youre fine. And so i didnt like kind of grow up with a radical selfacceptance or anything like that. I was definitely wallowing in selfhatred. So when i started writing and when i started like performing my work especially, it was like, is scary as it is still scares me. I think back and perform the likes of good if anything was like, im fat but i love walking. Theres not whole thing. I would never want to be that person. Because that is not real. Like writing about it even as uncomfortable as it still makes me feel, is just like well at least you know what youre getting when you get it. I give you read something that i have written. And you know who i am and i cannot like hide from that. It was the same, think maybe it started with opening up about that. But then i dont have to explain what i am going through. I dont have to tell you that if youve read something that ive written, you know that i will be in the bathroom for 35 minutes. Dont call an ambulance or whatever. And i think when writing about my body was sort of like saying paying. Member like dating online. And i had an open profile in my name, obviously people do with their were getting because my night my name was for throb. [laughter]. All of my pictures work very honest. I was kind of exposes that many feel that he never wanted someone to show up in a barbie like, oh no not you. He operated the most of the that i saw mine was alive. So if it were free in my writing to talk about it. Oh, i thought you were like a tiny little waste. Actually no. It is different because i would write it loan and i would like send things to my editor. Takes a lot of people dont talk to me about it see it before its published so that is sort of still feels like mine. Then once its on the road, cant take it back. Ive said these things. Now everyone has read them. So were just going to talk about it. So feels less scary especially now because i just kind of write it in my little humble self. Then months later he comes back in the book. I dont reread it. Until late send me things and im always on, i put that in here. Angela i picked up on, which is important. I was loose one is writing this. Some in the place where this is just what i need to say. And you make yourself free. If saying the things that you imagine maybe people might make fun of you. Or like youre my friend. And youve already said it. Samantha when he said that. That is a big thing for me to what i will say anything for us joke. Im always trying to get the left. Hundred take aim at myself first. And punching laterally. Like no one is going to get hurt. But the thing about, learn about reflect bullying or comments when youre again, either your like a crier or im going to make a joke and then it takes the bw joke i carry the senate. Like i am for timesheets from pay less. Really going to say this going to be more than that are worse than that pretty so i learned that is a coping mechanism early. Just like get through the day. Angela that your coping mechanism, not absorbing it to and internalizing it which is all the people do. Samantha are some of but in the moment, i am like a say it before you say it and then later on like, they still senate. And strong but ice and like i said it first. Angela what about the embodiment later like people who are embodied in my mind means like your occupying your body and also connected to your brain. I probably made a mistake from a life or who are embodied like somehow super healthy. Raven certain kind of body like this is a deeply embodied person. When youre dealing with all of the stuff like like you become an expert. If youre not a scientist but, if you have like require some kind of terminology. And you have that knowledge of that world experience. Thats who you think about or do you hire help reduce that seem accurate. Samantha thats more beautiful than i would never put it like that. So i appreciate you for giving me of that language. Because now im going to collect and say, deeply embodied person. Thats true. Like i often feel like my brain and the thing trapped inside. And so i know because its given me so many problems. From somebody areas. I am deeply knowledgeable. So not to get all of this about a bit when you have like a lot of problems. And youre in like a black body and you like to educate yourself to the doctor a lot. You learn that you need to learn all of the stuff they are saying so that we see this other doctor you dont know very well he can tell them what they need to know to like so i think when i started to deal with the grunts, i learned all of the stuff because your sink this kind of doctrine that kind of doctor. And you get know what this one says analysis. So theres kind of this stuff just as a function of like making things easier for me. Boys try to make my life easier to move through. And then i think once i really started writing about it, oh no. What is happening. Okay. There we go. Angela our internet is bull shipped so thats it. Samantha is probably a vaccine outside. Our wifi whatever. [laughter]. So good to know all of the terminologies so that i could be more helpful to myself. And then when i started writing about it. I think that is when i was like, oh yeah, so this is the thing. I think i have a contentious relationship with my body. But i have learned it so well they can write about it. I feel deeply into him with all of the problems. Angela i think thats the thing. Having the problems, i can feel like i am late in the game on this. Like you have be into the body less your body looks a certain way. This is bull shipped. Samantha i would feel like, because i have not had children, i feel like will i cant be in tune with what my body can do as a woman is like grown a child. I feel like youve got to be in tune with your body in a way that i could never you know understand. Ive grown some tumors. [applause]. Angela you think your body is built to be the same just doesnt mean that you should are you have to. I think it kinda goes goes both ways. Some something that you want. If you can be a very intense your body as well predispute. Samantha thats for sure pretty sweet if i wanted to ask about something. Lets talk about so just to go back to the idea, breaks my heart you kind of glossed over it with that ideal the possibilities. Not exactly the same but when you going to a Doctors Office or Providers Office and there like, im so prepared for you not to believe me for anything. Im so prepared to like to have to advocate for myself maybe if it gets heated if necessary. So questions about things. Is this make you menopausal now. Are you perimenopausal. Samantha like hormones pretty like i am perimenopausal but i think that is just a function of my age. But it didnt need any hormone replacement therapies or anything like that. Just kind of front of a lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, but they rendered it nonfunctional. So still have a uterus, so have all of my now good sound like an idiot pretty all of my fallopian tubes and all of that. On the currently switching tubes. They just dont do anything anymore. Angela teaming cakes pretty. Samantha i think i must make eggs. Angela but what happens to them become like knocking on the door. Samantha did they just fallout. There is nothing for them to attach to anymore because they scorched it. The burnham inside might uterus so that like i havent had. In two years. Maybe three years Something Like that. Speech of then eventually will just go into menopause. Sometimes they just like float inside of you pretty. Samantha i dont know if i stopped producing eggs. Angela actually, you actually come out as a baby with all of the eggs you will ever have. This is wild. So then they like mature so theres a limited number of eggs so i feel like i know im on my last few eggs. Like im not like im 42 affiliate my. Its got sort of weird now. And so, i was curious about that. And the thing to go back to his in your right about this the book. It was very angry as i was reading this because you are like, i dont want to take this thing out. Not having children. And of created a source of shame. Discomfort is terrible to me know what you do to get out. C1 it was so manageable. Im a Health Hazard really my home because i am just him, like the call of the shining elevator scene. All of the time and again, i dont know enough to be like confidently but that was like insurance is involved. The doctor in your age and your this or that. So we got to leave the man but, you can decide what you can do with your body. Its not my choice. Like they did everything short of taking it out. Had to go in for surgery be completely out. But then they just burn until crisp. Angela on that note. Like maybe like this my personal thing that i need to talk about to you. Sue and no one is asking about this. Angela like the stepbystep process. The knowledge of your body, whether you have children are not but he talked about having a d c pretty which is a procedure that i have had. After having lost a pregnancy them like, you would have to go in and do this d c to like scrape out what was left in their principles like thing that i am familiar with. You are having and on the flipside. You just wanted to vacate the same. Angela things are tied. Reproductive Health Whether or not your are choosing to reproduce or not. And you have the right to decide what is going on anybody. Samantha mr. Blue cross and mre call on what happens to my uterus. Luckily for me. Heres the thing, it sometimes does not take. It took. Whatever burns potato chips are left inside, my uterus, theres nothing stick into them. Angela like fried eggs. Samantha so maybe a better writer thank you note to blue cross blue shield. You got this one. [laughter]. Angela right. If you wanted to get you should be able to take it out. Speedo business like another personal thing where we need to talk about the date. Do you feel like you need to get a big day for your home. Samantha i should do. So i have like a travel bidet which is like a little. Angela pica tucci. Samantha yes. Like a long, and it could question down like a little fountain. And you can take water shooting at your butt hole. Angela i have one. My mom got it for me when i was pregnant. Because but i sit down on the toilet, i dont know what is going to happen. Like i dont know what is going to come out. And it would end. And very difficult to reach around wife. So its easier with a bidet. So jeep just ordered one for us. And we look at it for like a month. And we put it on within 24 hours we were like, did we ever live without this. Geneticist fancy when were, your replaceable seem to be toilet. So warm up and you can also control temperature of the water. Samantha an endowment useless person use it because im not fancy. Angela is like a remote control. You can definitely use it. You should really make someone do that. Samantha okay. Angela a handyman. Samantha we have a couple of those around. Angela in the end its just like, you want to be wet. Summa smear campaign. [laughter]. I have some things that i want to know about. I want to spend much time in the bathroom. Sue and i think i knew that you could buy this. Angela this like everywhere. So throughout asia, and my family were there from, like this looks like a garden snake. Sort of scary. Even then, he didnt have that, theres another thing like pale to use. Like is not, solely in america that we decided the papers the solution. And its not good. The waters gentler. I dont think well will have ship eight toilet paper shortage. Samantha im on it and im going to order one as soon as we get off this call. This event, whatever this is paradigm doing it. Its another thing i need pretty great. Angela i wanted to ask you, i have read, he started out a blogger, writing books in the 19 alike, time magazine, do you want to a profile of your own. In a rebid that profile i was thinking could we pose some of these questions you were you were like, you know when asked, why me. Why now. With us finding kind of like like because she has been doing this for a long time. How would you answer that question. As to where youre at. Samantha i think there is a real fan base of people who overtime are local to me. Get give a lot of my work away for free. Obviously like ten years of flopping and i still do this newsletter. I just been kind of constantly been putting workouts. If so been doing some of that. Some of that is straight up like and this is like the part they dont really understand is marketing rights. My last book did, did okay. So then, but the book and more places and send it to mark people. This had to be a part of it too. I think also and i know asking like the bigger question. I think, maybe at the time, for more Diverse Voices in this. And people are more open to it. I love that shes the most relevant example. Lets go with her. Psych people who kind of do what i do. Maybe people are more open to hearing some hey my life is dump jokes from a black woman. I honestly dont know. The culture is changing. I think there is a shift, purchased a more Diverse People are getting an opportunity. I think for me specifically, its been a long time of just like have read this blog. This thing. Like a constant like im constantly keep forgoing. I have this very dedicated group of people. I get people messages all the time. In the state i have been reading your blog since 2008. Like a lot of that is just my core people. Then honestly, like unknown sociologist obviously. Like the fact that people can so easily share my stuff. I guess that goes back to like giving it away for free. Except like people can share myself then someone full be like, oh the person has a book. I remember the things she wrote. At this time the rent. All she wrote that long. I should write my blog more frankly. Just kind of like this constantly putting things into the world and is paying off. Angela do think its interesting. I dont have to give this away for free. And you can just unroll kind of hang out. And think about the next thing that you want to do or whatever. Samantha i still love to do the free stuff. Only because you want to know its on peoples minds. Like heres what i am thinking about especially now that i dont have a day job. Second going to keep writing should on the internet. So i can still feel like i am so talking to people. Then again, you build that sort of will its a lot to somebody to spend 16 and some shady roads. They been like reading my newsletter. They know that its going to be worth money than he had trust. As far as the culture is concerned, think were just like slowly making a shift to opening more doors for people. And honestly, not to treat my own but but i think that my thing or the ability, the things that have happened with this book especially like more people like me are going to get real now. I encourage everyone to use my copy is a cop predict like my mind. I think that is happened to. What we are saying things like this. We noted the same thing but i sure like some have sold millions of copies. Like well, this is kind of look like her. Angela this whole idea. Like cops. Summa great science. It was like okay, i will take that. I can also by the way, make sense from a business standpoint because many people look more like us who are like sort of like taking our money. Rather than craft capitalist. I think this comes from a local librarian. What books rather leaders have you been enjoying. Sue and i have been currently reading, fiction. As a like an escape and also reading other peoples essays make me feel bad about myself. [laughter]. So especially when im writing, i cant read the book. Its too good. Sorry a lot of affection. Right now ready the new show, if very good. Also like a thriller and were book. And no return which was very good. I keep telling people, read this book a while ago called under the rainbow. His fiction about this fictional, his main like the most homophobic town in america and they said someday Alliance Like task force into the town. And you get on peoples perspective on the gay horses down. Its really good. Im not good at selling a book. But like this are really good ones. Angela someone is asking, they love your tomato soup recipe and instagram. And i would you are right at cookbook next. Would you ever do that pretty. Samantha okay, so heres the thing about when you pick this is your job. I will turn down most opportunities like it real. No. I need to get a person to do this with me. Like 30. But if somebody wanted to do one with me and somebody else wanted to put the money in. I would do that. Angela like just pick your favorite. Sue and the love top shoving mean i have this thing or maybe ive to make this a reality. Like a real chef and and i wrote them like i would do this. Then take a little or another picture. But it has to be like someone i can work with. Like shes desperate, she does not want to have to go back to work at the gas station or whatever. So i think. Angela maybe its true. If it actually seems like fun. I just feel like, maybe like an element of like, i dont want to do the same thing for the rest my life pretty much a right i dont want to do one thing. It eventually feels good to you. I feel like youre in a place you could do that pretty. Samantha im going to try that. The food was delicious. Angela on be like children. When my personal favorites. Samantha i love gregory. And top chef allstars. Angela i think so. These Melissa Gregory predict. Samantha a gregory pentagons good make. I wanted me to end. Maybe gregory could have one pretty to me gregory, melissa, she couldve made it to the top three or four. Be to her mom loves her so much she is so cute. Samantha a gregory for melissa. Yep. Angela okay. Heres a question. Its about serious but i think people would like to hear from you on it. If somebody has needing to start disorder, a fully embodied person, okay. Any suggestions on how to start. I hate my body. Samantha well i, obviously, so this is tricky. I would say like if you could do therapy emma that would probably help. But, im not in therapy. So also you some of the stuff i am doing. I have found one of the things that is been the most helpful consistently and i do it every day is nice to do it on tumblr now i do it on instagram. I just follow, many different types of people who show their bodies has i can. And it just kind of school and school in school and school. And i look at pictures of like, pat people and underwear. And i catch myself, i was think like seat entrance she is so brave. They are so brave. Not great, theyre just taking pictures of the bodies therein. And they are posting them. And that is the thing that has been helpful to me. And and specifically, and i can assure you see the hashtags of them or whatever period of time to think. Im just going through fat girl things. But carissa is amazing. You just to the or looking through these pages. Youll know how to do that. I dont have to tell anybody fighting with him instagram. And there is a flip and instagram podcast called the slip the. And its about intuitive, i know like listening to podcasts is not like therapy. Angela go for it. Samantha yeah. She is so knowledgeable. And she makes it so plain. And she is pleasant to listen to and her advice is so good. And she is a good resource. I think she is like the blank diets in all platforms so you can find her. Shes incredible. Yeah looking at peoples bodies all day everyday. The internet is so much. And this is one the best things about it. Angela you can see this for most of you like pretty. Samantha fulfilling like you are alone like youre the only person pretty that is such a horrible horrible horrible feeling pretty and just by seeing People Living in the bodies. They dont even have to be doing it revolutionary. Just like laying on the couch or whatever. And youre like oh, there is a person who looks like me. And does not have whatever hangups i have. Im fully clothed all of the time. Im in sleeves and pranced into the floor. It is not my ministry. To approach myself in my bra. Looking at people in theres, is really helpful for me. Angela i agree. You can justify, wears just like normalizing. But its remarkable to see a range of bodies right. To be able to see yourself within that. Samantha you going to have to get into it like almost and observe about what you just are kind of like, like it took my initial feeling is like oh, i am worried for the person. Like i want to protect them from all of this whole nasty things. I had to stop myself from feeling that too. And just kind of like scroll scroll scroll and look look look. In his taken years of that but it certainly has helped. Angela i think were going to do two more questions. Theyre creeping up on me. I think it is 10 00 oclock where you are now. Samantha . It is okay. Angela this is from southwestern michigan. And shes fascinated that you live in kalamazoo. Hows the shift from chicago to a place with more middle american minds. Samantha it was hard. Coming living anywhere as hard. And chicago is the only, one from evanston just north of chicago. And chicago is the only place i have ever really loved like everyone i know. But everyone i could like hug in touch and, like real life friends is there. So living was hard. Just because of that. And then like coming to a place that does not have like a lot of Public Transportation and restaurants and things. There is none of that h. I have to get on the amtrak to go home. But on the flipside, what we pay for this entire house, its less than my studio apartment in chicago. That is an incredible feeling. We did a drive to the flower farm just to warm the car up and tried to do a long drive and pass the gas station and gas was like 1. 44. And its like i cant go back to the kind of traffic where everything is expensive. I dont know that i could go back. There are a lot of things i miss thabut they are mostly convenie. [inaudible] guest there are a fair amount of black people. I dont know what to call it, but the guy that takes care of the lawn and our whole lives is a black dude and i remember when i first met him i was like okay, theres a whole black side of town and a soul food restaurant, so there are more than i thought there were. But you know, chicago is the most segregated nation in america estimates not theres all types of people that you dont always its been a little bit of an adjustment but not as bad as i thought and i found some good stuff too. Before the pandemic, in the before times we went. Host the last question we are going to go with, and i love these questions because i think a lot of times people in the audience are writers and im curious myself, can you tell a little bit about your writing process . Guest of course. I always wait until the last possible minute. Its so funny. I have a couple of end of the week that lines and its like tuesday night. [laughter] before, when i lived alone in my old apartment, i would always write during the day. It was important to me to write when the sun was up so i would write mostly on the weekends and i had one day off during the week and i was like now that i live with other people, i need i cant write if people are moving and things are happening. So i have to wait until everybody does today. I dont start writing until like 10 p. M. And i will write until two or three in the morning which was a shift for me, but the perimenopause, thankfully, keeps im able to do something with that kind. I had a des have a desk and lane setup that looks nice. I never said there. I sit wit said with my feet up a chair with a pillow on my lap and my laptop on top of that. As for an actual essay, id like to make notes and i will show you, hold on a. Heres some notes for this essay i want to write about a doctor appointment that i have got is another collection. I make notes and then my main rule is i always know how its going to end before it starts. I never start writing something until i know how it. Host are you open to changing while youre doing it . Guest yes but i have to write to an ending. I just will not write something if i dont know where im going. Thats my one piece of advice. Know where youre going and it doesnt matter how you get there its just know where you are going. Guest host thank you. Guest thank you. This was incredible. Thank you both for such an enjoyable, uplifting, informative conversation. Im sure the audience agrees it was absolutely delightful. I want to encourage everyone to to get from a get a copy of wow, no thank you and if you feel so inclined to love and support for town hall seattle, we have that donate button at the bottom as well. Follow us on crowd past if you are looking for more ways to spend your quarantine. Thank you again, sam and angela. Such a wonderful event. And thank you to the audience for joining us wherever you were. Book tv on cspan cspan2 hp Nonfiction Books and authors of the weekend. Saturday 8 p. M. Didnt watch programs with the late author Christopher Hitchens whose books include no one left to lie to cover the missionary position and the trial of henry kissinger. Sunday 9 p. M. Eastern on after words, Yale University professor edward paul on his book that looks at White Supremacy through the lens of his greatgrandfather a member of the ku klux klan in louisiana. Interviewed by author and georgetown University Professor of law civil rights and social justice and the next 10 p. M. In the book Susan Eisenhower examines the leadership style of her grandfather, president Dwight Eisenhower and important decisions he made. Watch book tv this weekend on cspan2. Hi, everyone. My name is sde 11 and im an adjunct fellow at the Manhattan Institute. Your host for the Young Leaders circle. I thank you all for taking the time to tune in to this event today, both the general membership. I am so sorry that we cannot all be together in person although i very much hope that it will be sometime soon. But in the meantime, it is nice to connect this way. In the state and the Manhattan Institute is putting together a ton of virtual content that will be going out over the next few months