Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, biden his time plus, stephen welcomes Craig Ferguson. Ronda rousey. And bear grylls. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on wooo oh, hey welcome band playing hello please please, have a seat, everybody. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And it is cheers and applause i feel the same way. I feel the same way. It is friday. You can feel it in the air. More importantly, happy trio de mayo. laughter thats a thing . Its not a thing. Trumps been riding high this whole week. Its been a very good week for him. Thanks to his old obstructinin buddy, bill barr, the Mueller Report might be behind him. But hes facing heat from a brandnew, gentlyused enemy joe biden, because trumps own campaign has internal polling showing biden to be trumps most dangerous opponent unless theres a surprise candidacy from this umbrella. laughter that could be why doesnt know how to close an umbrella, has the nuclear codes. Earlier this week, trump fired off almost 60 antibiden retweets in an hour. Thats right, an hour. It took his entire workday. laughter that means that means trump read 60 tweets. The last time he read that much was when mcdonalds redesigned their menu. laughter as trump everythings whats this . Everythings in a different spot now. I cant, i cant, i cant find nugget. laughter where is n where are you, nugget . laughter come to the nugget hole. laughter apple pie, have you seen nugget . laughter piano riff some trump advisers think hes wrong to be targeting biden this early in the race. For instance, president ial son inlaw and birthday boy learning he must share his cake with the other children, jared kushner. laughter kushner reportedly told the Trump Campaign team not to comment on democratic primary politics because targeting specific democratic president ial hopefuls was, at best, a waste of time, and could even be counterproductive. Oh, yeah . Really . Well, counterproductive is donald j. Trumps middle name, because he thinks you spell it with a j. laughter but surprise trump wont listen. Everywhere he goes, hes been calling biden sleepy joe because, according to one source, trump believes that if you can encapsulate someone in a phrase or a nickname, you can own them. lowenergy jeb, little marco that kind of bleep really diminishes people. Yes, giving someone the right name and you destroy them. Trump learned that from republican senator alan rumpelstiltskin. laughter trumps allies are confident that he has what it takes to topple biden. Steve bannon claims trump will benchpress biden on the debate stage if it ever gets to that. Oh, please, let it get to that. laughter please. Please. cheers and applause as trump okay, okay, joe. Get ready. Lay down on top of my hands. Ill tell you what, ill tell you what why dont you just be the bench . But biden isnt trumps only opponent. His other opponent is. The law. Because trump still faces 16 known criminal probes. And, i will applause big criminal probe fans here tonight. And ill tell you all about one in our soontobe longrunning series 16 scandals stephen now some out there thank you. Somewhere cheers and applause 16 scandals somewhere, Richard Nixon is going, i am a crook, but at least there was only one watergate. How does trump find the time . Now back to enjoying heaven, where i definitely am. laughter maybe. Maybe hes in heaven. Maybe nixons in heaven, somebodys little boy. Tonights scandal theres federal and state investigations into the large number of undocumented immigrants apparently illegally employed at trump properties. What a hypocrite undocumented immigrants are trumps sworn enemies. This is like finding out that f. D. R. Had hitler mowing his lawn. You see, allegedly, trump knowingly hired these workers to exploit their nonlegal status. These employees were told to clock out and perform hours of additional work, like vacuuming carpets, polishing silverware, and helping get the restaurant ready for breakfast the next day, all off the clock, without being paid. booing now, look i agree. That sounds really bad. But it is president ial. Remember, a lot of the Founding Fathers had immigrants working for them without being paid. Its all in that movie 12 years off the clock. laughter and, as with any stories where people have actually met donald trump, there are bizarre details about the man, including this one where one of the underpaid workers knew to pour trumps diet coke from particular miniature glass bottles into a plastic cup, never letting trump see anyone touch the straw. as trump yes, no one can touch my straw. I hate germs. Thats why before i have sex, i always purell my porn star. laughter but unless purell is her name. I forget. laughter but lets get away for a moment from our political crisis to focus instead on the cheery news of our Public Health crisis. You see, the c. D. C. Reports that more than 700 people have been infected by measles this year, marking a 25year high for the infectious disease. Because people arent vaccinating against it what is wrong with you . As the son of an immunologist, this might be the scariest news i have ever heard. applause jon why would you not get vaccinated . Stephen i i people have decided theyre not sure if they want to be immune from disease. Your ancestors are saying i would trade places with you, but i died of measles laughter now, the roots of the antivax nonsense might be a little more complex and nefarious than youd think, because it turns out russian trolls promoted anti vaccination propaganda that may have caused the measles outbreak. Are you telling me that russian trolls helped promote a devastating disease that could weaken our nation. And now measles . laughter even cheers and applause you got to work that. You got to work that. You got to make it work. Jon i like that. Stephen even more alarming, these trolls were tweeting about both sides of the vaccine debate and getting into an argument with themselves. Because russia doesnt care if were vaccinated or not. According to this report, it is after a far bigger prize the exacerbation of americans distrust of one another and, in turn, the erosion of their confidence in society. Russia, you dont have to erode our confidence in society. Twitter does that all on its own. Just let it ride. We came up with the tide pod challenge all by ourselves. laughter now, outbreaks measles outbreaks have now hit 22 states, meaning you might not be safe anywhere. For instance, a california woman is suspected of exposing measles to a theater showing avengers endgame. This incident has inspired marvel to create a new superhero doctor willing to go the doctor. Measles is also showing up on the high seas, because a scientology cruise ship was quarantined in st. Lucia after a measles diagnosis. How does a scientologist not get vaccinated . Science is right in the name. laughter and most shocking of all, the boat is named freewinds. Youre scientologists. The name is obviously tom, cruise ship. laughter but cheers and applause but antivaxxers are fighting back with the proven science of an old episode of the brady bunch. This is true. They are circulating a meme taken from noted immunologist, marcia brady. If you have to get sick, sure cant beat the measles teantivax cla this epismeasles was a mmon ilt was no big deal. Yes, apparently mike and carol brady were antivaxxers. It explains the opening credits of their last episode. Thats the way we became the brady bunch jon wow stephen marcia, marcia, marcia now, we talk a lot about donald trump on this show, but every so often its nice to focus on someone who is actually qualified to be president oprah winfrey. Oprah cheers and applause i like that. I like that. Thats a nice pose. Oprah did an interview with the the Hollywood Reporter recently, and the biggest news from the interview was why she left 60 minutes. Apparently, she was getting performance notes that she never expected to get, saying, its never a good thing when i have to practice saying my name and have to be told that i have too much emotion in my name. I think i did seven takes on just my name because it was too emotional. what . 60 minutes critiqued oprah for speaking with too much emotion . That is her thing. Thats why her catchphrase isnt there is a car for you. There is a car for you. And so forth and so on. There are cars for everyone. laughter well, i just want to say, as a dedicated cbs employee who supports the wisdom of my Corporate Overlords without question, please let me say, what have you idiots done . We had oprah you let her slip through our fingers you madmen you maniacs cheers and applause this is mass madness dont you realize you cant let oprah go . We already have gayle king put steadman on young sheldon, and we had the full set laughter so, to oprah winfrey, on behalf of my network, i just want to say, im Stephen Colbert, and this is an apology. Ticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktock. Tonight. Er Craig Ferguson is here but when i come back, ill tell you how to live like a celebrity. It just takes money. Well be right back. Went to ancestry, i put in the names of my grandparents first. It gave me a leaf almost right away. Within a few days, i went from knowing almost nothing to holy crow, im related to george washington. I didnt know that using ancestry would be so easy. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. This is his family, the world hes built, for 72 years. This is hals heart. Its been torn. Broken. And put back together. This is also hals heart. This is the cardiologist his brother recommended. And this is hals relief, knowing hes covered. This is hal. His heart and memory keeper, and its beating better than ever. This is what medicare from Blue Cross Blue Shield does for hal. And with easy access to quality healthcare, imagine what we can do for you. This is medicare that cares back. This is the benefit of blue. Steady the elbow. Shoot me one . Ahh boom shaka laka. Feisty. Ahh [[airpod case clicking open]g] hey siri, play me something new. Music playing it was just past one when two three men from four five step to me door like oh my gosh just throw that cash in a black bag run around the back and pull up the track, cause yaow i just learnt some jazz today, its true you gon learn you gon learn you gon learn, hey band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody there you go happy friday, jon. Well, folks, everyone knows, im a huge fan of celebrity lifestyle brands. Theyre like if my celebrity interviews and my commercials made a baby, which is why laughter i would i would watch that. That would be the ratings would be amazing, by the way. laughter which is why i, like everyone else, am asking the question is poosh the new goop . laughter also, are noises the new words . Is flurp the new clurb . Dont know what im talking about . Well, wake up, grandpa because theres a new celebrity lifestyle player on the scene and its kourtney kardashian. She caused a real stir last month when she launched her site by posting this picture. I just want to point out that is a very dangerous way to drink tea. laughter and poosh up here is the name of her brand also the part of her that was getting really chilly on that marble counter down here. Now chilly on the poosh. Now you dont want any hot tea on the old poosh, my friend. laughter on the site, kourtney explains that poosh is the nickname of her sixyearold daughter, penelope. And she is the epitome of the poosh girl plays by her own rules, colors outside the lines, and celebrates life with an infectious confidence and ease. And she launched her brand because, i felt there was something missing in the Healthy Lifestyle space. Something like the money wasnt ending up in her bank account. laughter and the site has some good beauty tips. In a post called, how to look good naked again, whole things named after her six yearold daughter pooshs advice was to invest in some candles. That is an empowering message you are perfect, you are beautiful, and you should feel good about your body, when it is viewed in a very low, flickering light. Hey, this century this century maybe youre a six. Youre a medieval nine. laughter but, if youd prefer to spend your way to wellness, poosh has some quality products. For example, to spruce up your bathroom, poosh suggests a 1,390 garbage can. Its perfect for when you need to throw away 1,390. laughter or or cheers and applause or, if you need a timeless hostess gift, poosh suggests these amethyst dice for just 195. Its the perfect way to say you play monopoly like a poor person. laughter but its not just products, no. Poosh also has home decor tips, like cool books for your coffee table that are a great conversation starter. Theyll spark Great Questions like, ooh, have you read this . And great answers like, no. laughter and and theyve also got recipe recommendations, like kourts signature salad, whichce mozzarella. I mean, i guess thats a salad . The same way my whiskey and coke is. A salad. laughter but if there is one thing i know about the celebrity lifestyle e Commerce Market space, its that you blindly copy gwyneth paltrow. And when youve already done that you blindly copy the person blindly copying gwyneth paltrow. So thats why im excited to announce that my own celebrity lifestyle brand, covetton house, is introducing a new website called covettoosh. laughter it is named it is named after my sixyearold self, because he was the epitome of a covettoosh boy freespirited, adventurous, and constantly shopping to fill a hole that can never be filled. laughter look how happy i was. What a happy child i was. laughter here at covettoosh, were pleased to offer an array of advice and products suitable for your purchasing needs, such as the perfect host gift old dice that we stole from a childs monopoly set. laughter 299. And if youre hungry, theres stephens signature salad an avocado on a plate. Unless youre on a platefree diet, in which case, just suck it out of the skin. laughter well also give advice on how best to show off your bare cheers and applause im not sure if that mockup improved or degraded my body. Our tip . If youre going to be naked, use industrial floodlights. laughter if you point them outward in front of you and turn them on quick, you can blind whoever is looking at you. Nudity solved. You go, girl well be right back with mr. Craig ferguson this is the couple who wanted to get away who used expedia to book the Vacation Rental which led to the discovery that sometimes a little down time can lift you right up. Expedia. Everything you need to go. 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Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Or if you have kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking truvada without talking to your doctor. Common side effects include stomach pain, headache, and weight loss. Ask your doctor about your risk of getting hiv and if truvada for prep may be right for you. I wanted to do more. Thats why im on that pill. Truvada for prep. Eligible patients may pay as little as a zero dollar copay. Find out more at truvada. Com. We also live with okat ts internet security. Do you know the mothers maiden name . At t theres an army of weirdos outside. Theyre just trying to get on your network. Why didnt you alert us . Alerts arent really my thing. What is your thing . Ok, i am sensing a little hostility from you, janet. So im going to be the grownup here and excuse myself. Stop living with at t. Switch to xfinity for realtime security alerts for all your connected devices. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back to our show, already in progress. Folks, my first guest tonight is an emmy and Peabody Award Winning comedian who has just written a new memoir. Please welcome back to the late show Craig Ferguson cheers and applause hey, man do you like this, by the way, the untucked shirt . Stephen let me see. Is it one of those untucked shirt . No, its just a regular shirt. But im going crazy laughter its not even an untucked shirt youre meant to tuck it, im like, bleep you guys laughter stephen you see, i dont want to give in to the untucking thing, because then my belly wins. Yeah. Stephen but if i stay tucked in, theres a certain amount of shame that will keep me from letting it all go. At a certain point in life all men have to either go, pantswise, texas or florida. Let me explain. Texas how you doin . Florida hey, how you doin . Stephen wow. cheers and applause texas or florida. Stephen under the navel or over the navel. Under or over, texas or florida. Stephen no pants at all. No pants at all. You can do that, but thats more alabama. laughter i dont know why i said that. And now everybody in alabama is like, how dare you . I say, how dare you . Because they talk like foghorn leghorn in alabama. Im just tellin you. Stephen now 2020, weve got 20, 21 candidates on the democratic side. How will you differentiate or how can we differentiate among all these people because its a bit of a glut . I have a suggestion. Theres a lot of candidates. The difficulty is motivating americans to vote, right . So why not stephen traditionally low turnout. Right, so to motivate americans, what do americans like to vote on . Singing competitions, dance competitions. Combine American Idol and that other one, so you think you can dance, fatty, and put them all together and make it part of the Democratic Party process, introduce a singing segment. Well sit in chairs, and like joe biden will be like hey, how you doin laughter thats what he sounds like when hes singing. Stephen i know, i know. Thats what that song was hey, how you doing . I didnt want to sing a song you couldnt afford to pay for. Im thinking about you stephen from the man who did tv. Im thinking about you. applause stephen you know whats always safe . Frere jacques. Stephen camp town races. Always good. I dont know how safe that is. No, i own the rights to camp town races. Stephen oh, wow. Have you been singing that song . Stephen sure, all the time. Im coming after you, buddy. laughter stephen who would be a good singer, do you think . I think buitigieg could probably sing. I think thats probably true. Three people. laughter i dont know, i think, i think biden may have a kind of soft, smooth jazz, kind of like hey, ooo, yaa. And then, bernie, you know is going to be, anarchy in the u. K. I think itd be great. Stephen weve heard him sing. He goes have you really . Stephen what does he sing . as Bernie Sanders uh, this land is your land, this land is my land. From california to the new york island. Thats not really singing. Stephen redwood forest. It counts. Can you sing that . Stephen what . Can you sing that . Stephen yeah, we dont owe Woody Guthrie any money, do we . Hes long gone, long gone. Oh, so stephen come after me, woody laughter ooooh stephen is that the ghost the ghost of Woody Guthrie. Stephen ghost or zombie . Is there a skeletal hand coming for me or is it a guy in a sheet . I dont know. Lets wait until christmas and find out. Stephen now, the United States often does not feel united. People call it were in a cold civil war. But what about you, you were born and raised in scotland . Scotland, yeah. Stephen how about the u. K. . Do you live over there now . Well, i like that you called it the u. K. Because thats the correct term for it. Whereas a lot of people say england. But its not england. Its england and scotland and Northern Ireland and wales. Its four countries in a kingdom that are united. And like most menage a quatres its been going on for a while, and nobody knows whose limbs are where and whos its kind of messy and smells a bit. And everybody thinks they are the ones getting bleep . laughter but, actually, no ones really sure. Stephen really . You can say that on cbs now. You can, yes. Stephen its true, theyre fine with it. Whats going to happen . Do you think theyre going to actually brexit . The brexit thing, i dont know. The brexit thing i think is a triumph of the hyperbolic nature of modern media. Because its managed to fire up everybody to get interested about what is essentially a trade agreement. Were not talking nato here. Its like, well, are we going to put a tax on brie, or not . laughter how dare you how dare you. Am i showing a naive misunderstanding of the brexit situation . Stephen i know nothing. I know nothing. I think nobody knows anything. I think they turn up into brussels and say, what do we do now . I dont even know. laughter stephen you have a new memoir, sir, in case you didnt know. No, i wrote it. Stephen its called riding the elephant a memoir of altercations, humiliations hallucinations and observations. There it is, right now. What is riding the elephant . cheers and applause are you hannibal in this . No, although good. But no. I went on an elephant ride once a long, long time ago i wouldnt do that now. Because i realize now it was wrong. Its wrong to ride elephants. But it was a big elephant and i was smaller at the time. The elephant probably thought i was a hat or something. laughter but its a collection of stories and the first story in it is riding the elephant and its a story of going on an elephant ride and also something happened on the elephant ride that was pivotal in my life. Stephen but youre not going to tell us what it is because you have to buy the book to find out. Heres the truth of it if you like me, youll like the book. If you dont like me, youll hate the book. And if you dont know who i am, im not your bleep parents, if you want to buy it, buy it. If you dont, dont. I dont care. Stephen you had a popular talk show here for ten years in the United States. Everybody here knows who you are. cheers and applause what about i mean, sort of speaking of people who dont know who you are, do people back onw. Because they play their cards close to their chest. You know, theyre like, hello well, ill tell you, i am famous with taxi drivers over the age of 50. Stephen why . Which is a very lucrative demographic. Stephen why . I dont know. I think we all used to drink together at the same time. They became taxi drivers, and i got, you know, kicked out of the country. Stephen and hopefully they stopped drinking before they drove the taxi. Oh, i dont care for your newfangled ideas, stephen. laughter stephen as i said, you hosted were in the latenight fraternity. For ten years. Is there any aspect of it that you miss . Like, do you miss the monologue or the guests . No, not at all, no, no. Ill tell you what im glad of and i have to commend you. Because you when the political situation became what it was, which was after i left, i keep thinking, i wonder how i would have done that . I wonder how i would have coped with that . And i think what you have done is the is the correct and brave and moral choice which is you ran at it full pace. I think i would have been tempted to stay away from it. cheers and applause stephen oh, okay. And i think youre right. I think i would have been tempted to keep running around with a horse and having cheeky banter with a robot skeleton and that would have been a kind of chicken bleep way to do it. So im glad i didnt do that. Im glad i didnt have to. And now, when i do standup, i do this show, its like, an hour and a half long, and i dont mention politics at all to see if i can do it. Stephen that sounds delightful. It actually is a nice break because all of the stuff that everyone is angry about, its still there 90 minutes later. So, you can take a little break, tell a few jokes, and then 90 minutes later, they can all start bleep hurting each other again. Stephen all right. That should be on the poster. laughter if youd read the poster, stephen, you would know it is on the poster. Stephen well, ill read the book. Its called riding the elephant. It is on sale this tuesday. The man is Craig Ferguson. Well be right back. Ronda rousey will be right out here. Were going to wrestle. 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Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest tonight is a w. W. E. Superstar who has played action heroes in movies and now plays one in Mortal Kombat. Please welcome back to the late show ronda rousey band playing cheers and applause stephen thank you, thank you for being here. And thank you for dressing up. So few of my guests wear skin tight leather cat suits. laughter well, you know, i was trying to give a sonya blade vibe today, but i kind of look a little bit more like baraka right now. Stephen what the hell happened to you . I need to get better at faking it. Stephen this is a wwe injury . Yeah. This from the main event at wrestlemania. And i dont know if i can swear in here . Stephen sure, why not. There was a point in the match where i was teasing i was going to throw a girl through a table and i went, tables are for bitches and i threw the table. Stephen did you plan on throwing the table . Yes. Stephen you planned on throwing the table. Oh yeah. Stephen did they know you were going to throw the table . They didnt know that i knew i was going to throw the table. laughter stephen but you knew you knew you were going to throw the table. Yes, i was coming in hot. Stephen sure. Tables are for bitches and i started punching and sometimes you catch a pinkie with an elbow. I remember looking at my hand and saw i had six knuckles. And i was like, man, i have to punch so much more after this. laughter stephen may i sign it . I would love for you to sign it. No one has ever signed a cast of mine. Stephen have you had other casts . I have. I broke my thumb another time from doing Something Else reckless. Stephen okay. Stay sweet. laughter steph colbert. Thank you very much. What an honor. I am honored. Stephen thank you very much. Even with a broken hand you could kick my ass, right . Oh, definitely. laughter stephen yeah, i thought so. What i dont know is how long did you how long did you fight . I know you were a medalist in judo at the olympics. How long have you been fighting in your life . Oh, god. My first judo tournament was on my 11th birthday. So thats. Thats a while. 21 years. Stephen how do you how do you have all your teeth . If i eat, like, too crisp of a bagel, im like, these are loose now. laughter my dentist actually told me i have some of the deepest roots hes ever seen. Stephen really . Yeah, so if anything i think ill break them in half. I dont think i will knock them out. Stephen thats an interesting compliment. laughter i know stephen you have some of the deepest roots ive ever seen, baby. He also said i had the most beautiful incisors hed ever seen. Natural incisors. No braces. Stephen wow. No braces. Wow. Youre living one of your life dreams. You became a character in the Mortal Kombat video game. Ive never been a character in a video game. What who is sonya blade . And why is that a big deal for you . Sonya blade is shes a defender of earth realm in Mortal Kombat. Stephen earth realm, is that our realm . Thats our realm that we live in. Stephen okay. And so, Mortal Kombat, which i got introduced to through the movie as a kid, it was the first time that i saw that one of the strongest people in the world selected to defend the earth would be a woman. And when youre a kid and you have sisters, you say, i call that one. And i said, i call sonya blade. My sister got to be katana, thats fine. laughter and she was just like that model for me of i wanted to grow up and be the strongest woman on earth like sonya blade. So i literally tried to do that as close as i could in real life, and i think i pretty much pulled that off. And now i actually get to be sonya blade. Like, i got to do a hurricanrana into an arm bar, just like she phen m sorrvideo ga a whnto a its when you throw somebody with your feet around their head and then you break their arm. laughter stephen now i know what youre talking about. laughter there you go. Gotcha. laughter what is it like to record because you have to record every possible event because in a video game there is a script, but its every possible combination of events has to be recorded. What is it like to do that . I mean, Mortal Kombat is different in that it has a story mode and then an actual gameplay mode, right, which is the fighting part. Stephen sure, sure. So the story mode is a lot like doing a movie, but dubbing over and trying to fit your mouth to what it fits. But the video game part, its like, you get to play up the you know, you put the controller down and the person is just bouncing, you know, while you go to make a sandwich in the other room. And so, you do the bounce. Stephen this thing . I get to bounce next to the thing and be like, do you want to fight . You know, this is not the last youve seen of me. You know . laughter stephen what about the sound effects . When your character gets hit, is it you going huhh like yeah stephen can i hear some of the sound effects of you being hurt . These are called effort noises. Stephen effort noises . Yes, like oh oh no laughter applause you feel the effort, right . Stephen so nice ill shake this hand. Thank you so much for being here. Mortal kombat 11 is on sale now. cheers and applause ronda rousey, shes going to outlive all of us. Well be right back. Fr dawn of. We ran, hunted and explored. And some 10,000 years later, we got lazy and crawled right back into our caves. So find your fire move more live more its what you were made for. Get out of your caves. Degree motionsense. Made to move. But i can tell you Liberty Mutual customized my Car Insurance so i only pay for what i need. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 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More refill. More recharge. More relax. Target run and done. Not ecan match the power of energizer. Tery because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. [ scoffs ] if you say so. Im sorry . What teach here isnt telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on Car Insurance. What . Or maybe he didnt know. [ chuckles ] im done with this class. Youre not even enrolled in this class. I know. Im supposed to be in ceramics. Do you know room 303. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Good luck, everybody. Oh thank you. Yeah. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back to the late show. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest tonight is a former member of British Special forces who has slept inside a sheep and drank elephant poop. Please welcome the host of hostile planet on national geographic, bear grylls band playing cheers and applause stephen let me start off by saying weve never met before. Im a big fan. I think i probably watched every episode of man versus wild which is how a lot of people got to know you for the first time. Seven years, who won . laughter man, or wild . I didnt see the last episode. Yeah. Well, i think i think that the wild humbled me for sure. I think the truth is the wild won. You know, i mean, were still standing, but i think the lesson always is, is that you get through by the skin of your teeth. The wild is always in charge. And, i think, over the years, my respect for the, you know, the big mountains and the jungles and the deserts has grown and grown. And you realize youre really pretty small. Stephen have you ever underestimated nature, underestimated the wild . Yeah, i mean, 100 times. And every time it kicks you in the backside hard. And, you know stephen unforgiving. Unforgiving. Nature is like your mama. You know, if you stephen unforgiving. You know how mothers are, unforgiving laughter just harsh well, the end of say, if you disrespect her, shell teach you a lesson youll never forget. Stephen there you are. Sorry about that. cheers and applause well, youve been seen to drink your own urine. I just want to ask you about that. Because obviously, some people do it for health reasons, but you did it to survive, survival. Im not one of those people who do this for fun and it is not fun. Stephen what is the etiquette when youre drinking the etiquette . laughter stephen if you share, those who supply, try when you drink someone elses urine, do you lift the pinky . What do you its respectful to lift the pinky, is laughter listen, on the whole, if ive ever had to get to a stage of drinking my own pee, its been my own pee. Although there have been a couple of occasions michelle rodriguez, i took her into the wild once, and we ended up sharing pee. audience reacts and i cant remember why we ended up sharing pee. laughter but, anyway, that was wed been boiling a rat. That was it. Wed been boiling a rat in the urine. Stephen you boiled the rat in the urine . I think i was out of pee, and she had a full bladder or some they all to be honest, they all blend into each other after a while. laughter stephen bear. Were you trying to there have been a lot of them. Stephen were you trying to flavor the urine with rat or trying to flavor the rat with urine . laughter what was the point of this . I wasnt trying to flavor anything. There was no water. And we had to boil the stew in something, so stephen where were you . Where were you . That was in the desert somewhere. You know, they really all blend into each other. laughter the thing is, people come up to me in bars and go, a pint of urine. Yeah, that is the but the thing is, it could save your life. Thats the thing to remember. And, you know, if youre dehydrated and youre peeing out brown why do we always end up talking about this stuff . laughter if its brown pee, its waste product, its no good. But if youre well hydrated, you dont want to be wasting it, so then it can save your life. Stephen good to know. Thank you. You never know stephen you dont. Tonight, tonight, it might save my life. You actually never know, and you laugh, but ive met a lot of people who have been in some bad situations, and they always go, i never thought it would be me, until it happens. Stephen you have the new show, hostile planet. How hostile is the earth, bear grylls . Well, the answer is, if youre an animal right on the edge of some of the harshest corners of the world, with all the Climate Change thats happening that is making the extreme tougher, the answer is extremely hostile. Hostile planet actually is, out of all the shows i have done, this has been a real privilege to be involved with. You know, it took 1,300 days of filming to make. Were used to shows where it is a couple of days an episode. This is a labor of love. We stand on the shoulders of giants with an incredible crew. But some of the footage they got of these animals right on theten you know, all the planet earth and blue planet stuff. Its always amazing to watch. But hostile planet is almost hard to watch, because youre seeing actually the incredible resilience the animals have to have. I mean, look at the polar bears now. The ice is so thin, theyve resorted to hunting whales. You know, polar bears hunting whales, or jaguars hunting crocodiles in the rivers, its pretty amazing. Stephen well, we have a clip here of some, i believe, highland ethiopian apes. Yeah, theyre angry. Dont mess with stephen yes, theyre hostile. They all are. Stephen jim . To hold on to power, the old male must prove his strength, both to the bachelors, and his females. He challenges them to chase him. apes screeching but no one dares to attack. Stephen beautiful. Just beautiful. applause yeah. Its amazing. Stephen well, bear, thank you so much for being here. Nice to meet you. Lovely meeting you. Stephen hostile planet is on national geographic. Bear grylls, eve body stephen thats it for the late show. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reg l