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Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight uu. K. In the membrane. Plus, stephen welcomes Renee Zellweger Walton Goggins and a special appearance by new zealands Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on hi there thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, chris. Nick and mark, every up there, down, there out there, around the world. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, get out your sextants, your compass, your astrolabes because we are in uncharted waters. Because after two and a half years of the trump presidency, we finally spotted the great orange whale, and let me tell you, thar he blows. laughter , this morning this morning, the administration, for some reason, released the official notes of trumps phone call with ukrainian president volodymyr zelensky. Seen here thrilling his fans with crazy train. And these notes that they released of this phone call make trump look and i dont want to get too technical bad. laughter the call starts with trump congratulating zelensky on his recent victory in parliamentary elections, but then he quickly reminds zelenksy how much ukraine owes the u. S. The United States has been very, very good to ukraine. I wouldnt say that its reciprocal. laughter as trump i wouldnt say its been reciprocal, because i dont know what that word means. laughter im just saying all im saying cheers and applause look, volody, all im saying. I scratch your back. You help me bury joe bidens political career in a shallow grave in the woods down by the dump. Zelenksy immediately picked up on it. Yes, you are absolutely right. Not only 100 , but actually 1000 . This guy speaks trumps language. as zelensky not just 100 , 1000 . Many are saying the most bigly percents anyone has ever seen, fake news, witch hunt, no collusion. laughter okay. Lets collude. laughter zelenksy trumped on i would also like to thank you for your great support in the area of defense. We are ready to continue to cooperate for the next steps. Specifically, we are almost ready to buy more javelins from the United States for defense purposes. Yes, were selling them javelins. But if russian tanks roll into kiev, we will upgrade them to the shotput and discus. Maybe hammer throw. Well haha turns out javelins are a Missile System that we were sending u. K. To fight the russians who invaded their country, but we stopped that right before this phone call. Zelensky says he wants those missiles, and here comes the quid pro quote. Trump immediately says, i would like you to do us a favor, though. bell ringing as Game Show Host ladies and gentleman, our contestant has said todays secret words the phrase that pays the ukraine in exchange for the phrase that pays the ukrainian in exchange for political favors tell the president what hes won as gameshow announcer its protracted impeachment inquiry, a permanent stain on his already shameful legacy, and a lovely broyhill dinette set. Broyhill eat crow in style now, first, trump asked if they could find hillarys email server from 2016. That was the first favor. Then, trump named the foreign interference he wanted in our 2020 election. The other thing, theres a lot of talk about bidens son, that biden stopped the prosecution, and a lot of people want to find out about that, so whatever you can do with the attorney general would be great. We do a lot for you, like missiles. I need a favor, though, investigate biden. There it is pressuring a foreign country to provide dirt to influence our election. They should hold the impeachment now. All in favor, say yea. Yay yay cheers and applause stephen now, the attorney general trump mentioned is our attorney general. Several times in the phone call, he said he would have william barr call zelensky to help ukraine dig up dirt on trumps political enemies. But today, barr denied involvement in trumps Smear Campaign against biden. Ey, whats the matter, billy, dont you trust your old buddy don . Hell protect you the same way he protected his other friends Paul Manafort and michael cohen. They both get free clothes, comfy beds, and magic toilets that make wine. laughter and when trump told zelensky that giuliani would also be in touch, he told the most outrageous lie of all mr. Giuliani is a highly respected man. laughter applause as trump you dont get cable tv in ukraine do you . No . Good. Very highly respected. Very highly respected. Also, very human teeth, very. laughter now, trumps defense has not been exactly well organized today. This morning, a politico reporter tweeted hmmm, the white house just sent its talking points on ukraine to house democrats. But almost immediately after sending the dems their insider communication strategy, sources say the white house just sent a followup to recall the email. House democrats responded with their own email. L. O. L, sorry, no backsies. Impeach. cheers and applause the white houses talking points are about what you would expect, with claims like, what the president actually talked about was entirely proper. And, this is just another example of the deep state, the media, and democrats damaging our National Security for political gain. And the transcript clearly shows there was no quid pro yes, all he did was suggest no more military aid unless they investigated biden. Thats just quid pro joe. Who knows whats going to happen here, its anybodys guess. But this phone call is pretty damning. So, a visibly miffed trump but also exhausted donald trump, talked about the call with reporters at the u. N. , and said it could have been worse. There was no pressure. The way you had it built up, that call, it was going to be the call from hell. It turned out to be a nothing call other than a lot of people said, i never knew you could be so nice. Stephen yes. laughter yes, its true. People didnt know trump could be so nice specifically, don jr. And eric. as eric wait, dad, you offered to give stuff to that ukrainian guy . Why did you offer that guy stuff . I thought you said presents were for the weak santa is gonna get an earful from me in my next letter. laughter he also insisted he also insisted cheers and applause he also insisted that there was nothing to see here. Its the single greatest witch hunt in american history, probably in history, but in american history. Its a disgraceful thing. The letter was a great letter, meaning the letter revealing the call. Stephen as trump the letter was a great letter, that was actually a call. Brrrngbrrng. Oh, my mailbox is ringing. Hello . Sorry, i cant hear you. Im all out of stamps. laughter then, this afternoon, trump sat down at the u. N. With the ukrainian president. Their joint press conference began with trump explaining just how well he knew the ukrainian people. I know a lot of people from ukraine, theyre great people, and i own something called the Miss Universe pageant. We had a winner from ukraine, and we have really had we got to know the country very well in a lot of different ways. Stephen as trump the Miss Universe pageant taught me a lot about the ukrainian people. They are all very tall, very blond, very thin. They wear swimsuits and high heels. ukraine on it, and they have no lock on their dressing room doors. Its a beautiful culture. Its a true story. By the way and im sure you saw this coming ukraine has never won Miss Universe. Its just another lie. Or maybe she won miss alternate universe, which is where i wish i lived right now. But politics arent the only thing zelensky admires about president trump. In the phone call he also said, last time i traveled to the United States, i stayed in new york near central park, and i stayed at the trump tower. Yes, in fact, he stayed in the don jr. Memorial russian colluderoom. He loved it, especially later in the summer. And trump had a great suggestiod best friend. I really hope that you and president putin get together and can solve your problem. Stephen ah, yes, that moment where your ridiculous actions finally catch up with you. Can we see that again . I really hope that you and president putin get together and can solve your problem. That would be a tremendous achievement. Stephen it works. It works. Stephen and he ended with a fairly big announcement that trump made up. Nancy pelosi, as far as im concerned, unfortunately, she is no longer the speaker of the house. Stephen what . Wait. What, i just its that seas . Well, in that case, donald trump, as far as im concerned, unfortunately, is no longer president of the United States. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you. Renee zellweger is here. But when we return, a very special guest in town from the u. N. General assembly. Stick around twentieth reunion. And these new highrise slim straights are it. Take that jane fineberg. Take what . Jane i see youre still a weirdo. Made a whole career of it babe. Thirty percent off your entire purchase and forty percent when you use or open an Old Navy Credit card. Ever since you brought me home, that day. Ive been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love . This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, shs. B ected from mm,likeeow. 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Try our new warm grain bowls today. Order now on grubhub. cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody give it up for the band stephen oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, jon. We hav fabu reneendeed. Stephen playing judy garland in the new movie judy. And tomorrow, none other than the man himself senator Bernie Sanders will be here. Give a thought or two. Folks, the u. N. General assembly is in new york city right now. And one meeting at this years assembly i was keeping my eye on was between donald trump and Prime Minister of new zealand, Jacinda Ardern, seen here after being asked how each felt about treason with ukraine. laughter now, i happen to have a special place in my heart for Prime Minister ardern, because during last years general assembly, she visited the show and sat down for an interview. She even invited me to come to new zealand to become an official citizen of hobbiton. Not too shabby applause yeah, please. Everybody, keep your eyes peeled. Because this time of year in new york, you never know when youll bump into someone like new zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. cheers and applause . Hi, Stephen Stephen oh, wow what wont you please . Wont you please . Please, have a seat. Thank you so much for being here. Please. New zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern . What are you doing here . You said my name, so i came out. I thought thats how the show works. Stephen right, thats how Jeff Goldblum always gets in here. Thanks for stopping by. My pleasure. I invited you to come to new zealand. And you havent been there, and its awkward. Stephen well, sorry. I assumed you were just kidding. I invite people over to my place all the time, and i never mean it. Jon but, stephen, you just invited the whole band over to your place for crabfest. Stephen and i meant it i totally mean it. Yeah. quietly i didnt mean it. There is no crabfest. I 100 meant it. We would love to have you. Stephen i would love to come. Let me check my schedule. Thats actually your schedule. Stephen yeah, yeah. Wrong year, wrong year. How about how about later this week . I, unfortunately, still have the u. N. Trying to save the world thing. Stephen right, yeah, yeah. But next week . Stephen next week . That is crabfest, im afraid. laughter okay. Week after . Stephen week after that, week after that. Well, you know what im supposed to travel to with my crew to an island nation south of australia to film a series of comedy segments. But what if i cancel that and go to new zealand instead. Im pick you up at the airport. Stephen its a deal. Were going to new zealand in awkd. Prime minister Jacinda Ardern, everybody. Well be right back with Renee Zellweger cheers and applause these are more chip than veggie. While v8 is a snack you can veg out on. V8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. My Car Insurance to geico. This is how it made me feel. 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But i wasnt suggesting well, no, everybody suggests things, like im like im not a real person, but i am. You understand, im only judy garland for an hour a night. The rest of the time im im part of a family. I just want what everybody wants. I seem to have a harder time getting it. Stephen please welcome Renee Zellweger applause over the rainbow cheers and applause thanks so much hi wow i havent been here in a long time stephen no, welcome back. Wow, thanks very much. Stephen the ed sullivan theater. Ylovely. Cold as i recall. laughter . Stephen you gotta keep it fresh gee, keep everybody weak, right . Stephen exactly, we treat our audience and our guests like produce. The entire building is like one big crisper drawer. Im feeling that. Im feeling it. Stephen good. Well, this movie, your performance is getting rioutous accolades. The clips i have seen are incredibly beautiful, its an incredible transformation into this iconic american cultural figure world figure, really. How familiar were you with judy garlands life before you got in this role . What kind of research did you do . Well, i really didnt know anything about this chapter in her life that the film focuses on, which is toward the end of her life, the last few months before she passed. I had no idea the struggle that she was experiencing, and the challenges she was grappling with. And i dont know. I just i dont know that a lot of people know. I mean, she seems to be frozen in time. And that moment when she was immaculate and, you know, she carved her placeat the table of american icons. And, boy, she deserved it, didnt she . Something else, american treasure. I did what most people do i went down the rabbit hole of youtube and stayed there as long as i could, you know, until sunup. Stephen the internet as we call it. You click on one clip. Anything that spoke to you particularly for this time period . Well, did love i did love watching the judy garland show, because there are a lot of wonderful outtakes now. Stephen this is from that period of time. Oh, yeah, there it is stephen theres judy from that period of time. Its incredible. And then this is you. Oh, wow. applause wow, look at that. Well, thanks thats very sweet. Well and, you know, the internet is a fabulous research tool, isnt it . Stephen ive heard good things, yeah. Yeah. No, i just immersed myself in, kn, the treasures of her legacy for quite some time. A lot of books, a lot of biographies, listened to her music a lot of time. Wonderful, wonderful audio recordings that were part of somebodys personal archive that just became public because of this internet. Im very grateful, thank you. Stephen shes an icon not just of music but sort of shes an avatar of a certain level of personal suffering that gets hidden behind the sparkle of show business. Yeah, sure. Stephen so she sort of has, for many people, been a sort of fellow spirit of unsharable grief or anxiety or depression. And were there things that you learned about her life that surprised you . Uhm stephen as you dug deeper. Well, it would never occur to me that a person who had worked, at that level for, at the time the setting of this film, 44 years, i suppose that she would be facing financial hardship. Stephen no place to live, right . No place to live. She didnt have a home. She was struggling because of, you know, the circumstances around her divorce and, you know, finding employment was challenging for her because, you know, i guess the things that people like to write about her were not so kind and made it very difficult for her to take care of herself. Stephen and she had been one of the biggest stars in the world. Yes, for a time. And then some of these iconic films that have sort of shaped American Public culture. Stephen and in this clip and other clips that ive seen, you get a sense that she is struggling with who she is as a person and who the audience wants her to be, that one hour a day, she says. Only one hour a day am i judy garland. The rest of it im just what everybody else wants. Do you as a star ever feel that tension of there is something the audience wants me to be, and there is the life i want to live, and i dont want to disappoint the audience, but im not entirely sure the direction of my life is the direction of the persona that they see. Well, i understand the gulf between the persona and the truth of a human experience, certainly. And its interesting, because sometimes ill see some things, and ill think, oh, i never met that person, the persona. Stephen the things that people write about your person. Yes, yes. But i guess because im not a live performer, i dont i dont sort of share that experience of expectations. And im not really aware. I forget that it exists. Because, you know, im busy. I gotta get the dogs their medicine every day, and i have a young niece and nephew and, you know, im busy. So i dont really im not aware of the experience of fame until it becomes necessary that i Pay Attention to it, you know. Stephen right. Fame it a tool, i always thought, that gets you more work. Thats interesting. Stephen yes. Thats all its good for, really. Possibly, yeah, access to learning things that you might not otherwise have occasion to, even experiences. I mean, its really it is fantastic in that way. Stephen and if youre just famous enough, the guys on their College Internships at, like, the plant store will actually bring the turf out to your car for you. Is that true . Stephen yeah, thats what its for. Thats what fame is really for. Someone else brings the mulch to your car is the idea. Wasnt made aware of that. This is a very exciting night for me. Thank you. Yo fame card. Ck the back of its one of the things you get for being famous. Where have i been . Snrt movie underscores that garland is the victim of what was called the hollywood system. She started working when how old was she . Oh, gosh, i got this number its first time on stage was two. Stephen two years old. Singing jingle bells, over and over again. When the music stopped, she started again, and she just adored the laughter from the audience so much, that she just wanted to keep on singing until they had to carry her literally carry her off. Stephen how old were you the first time you performed . I had a, you know, very different experience. That youre in the studio system of louis b. Mayer. Im just curious the first time you got on stage. Well, i adored i still adore my brother, sorry, drew, past tense. I adored my brother, and he was a drama kid in junior high, and i decided that, that looked like a great idea. So to his horror i joined the drama club, and he quit. Stephen because his sister showed jiewp oh, absolutely. Dont big brothers want to get as far from their Little Sisters as they possibly can . That was my experience anyway. I hope its somebody elses experience. laughter stephen well, she she was as i was saying, she was a victim of the hollywood system, which could be very abusive, especially to women. In the last few years theres been a reckoning in the way hollywood treats women. Do you really think things are better now . Or do you think this is a sustaining, lasting change that were looking at now . I think its inevitable, really. And not just in hollywood but for women i 99 any industry. I mean, its inevitable because the young women who are coming of age today have never really known a time when there hasnt been a chancellor merkel, when there hasnt been a barbara walters, when there hasnt been, you know, a Prime Minister jacinda. That makes sense to young women today. And in the inequities women before have contended with dote really make sense to them. And were having the conversation, and so thats a step in the right direction, innocent snnt it . Stephen yeah. We have to take a break. Please stick around. And you stick around, too, because well be right back with more Renee Zellweger. cheers and applause allstate. Youvet with accident forgiveness they guarantee your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Smart kid. Indeed. Are you in good hands . Boostso you can stayuper connected almost anywhere. Work, like up here at lookout point. But theres more. Now all 4 of us get unlimited data, talk and text for just 25 per line per month. Hashtag first date he aint family yet. But theres more. We got 4 lg stylo™5 phones for free. Now the whole family can stay connected. Not this connected. Switch to boost mobile and get 4 lines with unlimited gigs for 25 per line per month plus 4 free lg stylo™5 phones, all on our super reliable, super fast nationwide network. See ya later. Im outalright. Fellas. Hello, are you the locksmith . Yes i am. Come on in. I think we were able to salvage the lock. [ shouting ] muchas gracias. Ya tu sabes. [ laughing ] the pink . Lets go mets go time daddy [ giggles ] number six, number six. Ohhhh man. Took my hat off. [ to love somebody by bee gees playing ] [ crowd cheering ] thats crazy lets go mets lets go mets [ crowd chanting ] lets go mets tv chatter crunch whats the score . No idea. cheers whoo. performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra whoo. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. Colon Cancer Screening for people 50 and older at average risk. Honey, have you seen my glasses . Ive always had a knack for finding things. Colon cancer,to be exact. And i find it noninvasively. No need for time off or special prep. It all starts here. You collect your sample, and cologuard uses the dna in your stool to find 92 of colon cancers. You can always count on me to know where to look. Oh, i found them i can do this test now as dyo, r ocurtothem and most major insurers the juul record. They took 12. 8 billion from big tobacco. Juul marketed mango, mint, and menthol flavors, addicting kids to nicotine. Five million kids now using ecigarettes. The fda said juul ignored the law with Misleading Health claims. Now juul is pushing prop c, to overturn san franciscos ecigarette protections. Say no to juul, no to big tobacco, no to prop c. Stephen hey, everybody, were back here with the star of requested of judy Renee Zellweger. For lack of a better word, theres a lot of oscar buzz about this performance. People are saying its a tremendous star turn by you, and that means a lot of fancy parties in your future. I was just out at the emmys, and even i get a little starstruck at times when i meet people i admire. Like who . Stephen the new zealand director i think hes super cool. I imagine you do. I bet theres another director in new zealand who excites you a little bit, too. Stephen yeah, yeah. A little tolkien. Stephen im a fan. Do you ever get star struck . Like, have you ever been some place like, i cant believe im about to meet this person . Oh, gosh, i had a humiliating melt. It was very embarrassing. You will be embarrassed for me if i share this story with you. Stephen id love to be embarrassed for you. You guys want to be embarrassed for me . applause okay, all right. Im going to make a confession. I have a bit of a soft spot for jimmy carter. applause cheers sorry. Sorry stephen yes. And its not just the baby blues you know. Its the man stephen he has piercing blue eyes. He does, he does. Hes a handsome man. Hes a southern man. Hes stephen shes very mature. laughter . Theres that. Stephen yes. But, you know, hes a great scholar. Hes a man of great scholarship and great character, who is a poet. Hes a man of faith who practices, but he doesnt use his religion as a tool to divisiveness but as a beacon for, i dont know, inspire humanity towards whatever loving god we want, world peace. And hes a navy boy. I mean, whats not to like . You know . cheers and applause . Stephen sure. And hes in his 90s right . Hes still sharp. Stephen theres something about a man in his 90s. Hes still sharp. Brain cancer, hes sharp. Funny and hes in love with his wife. Right . Okay, so, i had an opportunity, because he wrote this beautiful book of poetry, and i was going to go down there and i was going to get a copy of it and i read in the paper that he was going to be in times square at the barnes nobles. And i went, and i thought i had gone early. But, apparently, four and a half hours ahead of a jimmy carter book signing is not early enough. So i think we shot south about two blocks, which is a substantial bit of geography, right . And then east another two blocks, which is even more of a schlep. So we waited in what became the snow for about four and a half hours. And i was just thinking about how much i adore him and the thing i want to say to him about his big speech on temperance, when he was telling us about the crise, the answer to world shortages is we must consume exples we have to think about what we need versus. And everyone went, wow. Booo but, anyway, i i was just thinking about all the things i would like to say to him and express my appreciation. So we waited in line, and that was four and a half hours of frot bite. And then you go inside the bookstore has anybody been to a book signing . You line the walls downstairs, and then youre in a line going up the stairs, and then you line the walls upstairs. And then you finally approach, you know by your next birthday youre approaching the signee table. And its a quick process. The one has the book, who passes it to the next, who has the pen, and passes it on the next person who passes it to ten and you getlong you find yourself standing there in front of the baby blues. And this man who has inspired you to a d thoughtfulness, and he held the book and the pen in his hand, and i was really ready, because here it comes. Im going to have my thing that i say to jimmy carter. And he looks up at me and he said, hello. And i said, hey. laughter whispers thank you. Anyway, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Stephen renee, thank you so much for being here. Its nice to meet you. Stephen judy is in theaters this weekend. Renee zellweger, everybody well be right back with, frome the unicorn, Walton Goggins. They answered 410 questions in 8 categories about vehicle quality. And when they were done, chevy earned more j. D. Power quality awards across cars, trucks and suvs than any other brand over the last four years. 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N banjo . Go home. woman banjo sorry, it wont happen again. Come on, lets go home. After 10 years, weve covered a lot of miles. Good thing i got a subaru. man looks like you got out again, huh, banjo. avo love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. Did you eat all of your treats . Help i need somebody help not just anybody help you know i need someone to the wait did frowe just winners. Prouders everyone uses their phone differently. Thats why Xfinity Mobile lets you design your own data. Now you can share it between lines. Mix with unlimit its aifcan share kind of wirele netrk. Itchplus get 250 back whenar you buy a new samsung note. Call, click, or visit a store today. 6 months, 6 pushups. Ready,up. Down. Down. Uhuh. Thats one. Up. Thats two. Inhale. Down. Get down. Get down. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. You know my next guest from the shield, justified, and the hateful eight. He now stars in the unicorn on cbs. Please welcome Walton Goggins applause oh, walton can the exwog stephen welcome,. Thank you, its good to be here. Stephen good to see you. Nice to be seen. Stephen we actually ran into each other just a couple of days ago out in l. A. We did, yeah, yeah, just kind of hanging out. Stephen sure. Yeah. Stephen and i found out you were actually spending a fair amount of time in my home town charleston, south carolina. Youre also doing the righteous gemstones. With danny mc. Stephen but you are no stranger to the south. Youre from georgia. I am, right outside of atlanta. Stephen the south is not easy to leave. Its a beautiful place to live. Yeah, its a beautiful place to live. Its hot in the summertime, a lot of humidity. Stephen what got you out of the south . Youve been in hollywood for a long time. Oddly enough, i was in college. I went to a Little College in kind of south georgia. Stephen called . Statesboro, Georgia Southern in statesboro. Oddly enough its where Danny Mcbride was born. Stephen at that college . In my norm room. It was amazing. I gave birth. I gave it to him. I got this invitation from American Express, believe it or not, to take on debt, right . I was in college and thats kind of what it was. Stephen you got a preapproved credit card . Can you believe it. T . I was in college and got preapproved for a max of probably 500, whatever it was. And most people would look at that with this invitation, came two roundtrip tickets. One was 99 east of the mississippi. And the other was 199 west of the mississippi. You have to understand this is a time in atlanta where it cost, like, 1100 to fly from atlanta to los angeles. Stephen sure. And i saw it not as an opportunity to buy a bunch of televisions, but to leave. Like, that was it. I was out. I quit college stephen wait a second. So you got im only here because of American Express stephen you got an invitation from American Express saying how would you like a credit card . And by the way we will give you a discount ticket . And you took that as a sign from from god that i was supposed to go to los angeles and be an actor. Thank you, thank you so much. Wow. Stephen stephen and worked. You know what, man . It actually did, it worked. There were two. So the first time i kind of came out and i i didnt get an agent. But i stephen the first time you went to los angeles you didnt get an agent . Yeah. But the second time was when i said, you know what . Im just going to go with 300 in my pocket and live in a really bad apartment in north hollywood. Thats what im going to do. And i did it, yeah. Stephen how long before you got any gigs . You know what it was pretee i went to work pretty quick. I got an agent relatively quick after that. And i first thing i defense for billy crystal. And mr. Saturday night a movie he directed. And i was like nervous man. It was thats what it was, yeah, in a civil war costume. I was nervous man in a civil war costume. And it didnt make the movie but what it did make the vhs, the deleted scenes, it made. T. And it was like, oh, my god stephen your first gig was deleted extra scenes in billy crystals mr. Saturday night. And im really proud of it. Stephen you should be. I ran into him a couple of years ago. And he said, do you remember me . I cast you in your first thing. Stephen wow. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Stephen im not surprised they cast you in a Southern Confederate uniform, because you still have a little bit of a southern accent. Not much of one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephen were you pressured to lose your southern accent. Im from south carolina. I used to have a little bit of one, but i kind of got broken of it by acting class. You did, yeah. Stephen i dyeah. Sonets and stuff like that. When you first kind of came out, was it relatively thick . Stephen no, no, my folks arent from there, but i grew up my whole life there. My teacher could tell i was from the south, and she didnt want to be able to tell i was from the south. The same with me. And the first thing that my acting teacher said, he said two things. He said, first and foremost, you dont have the looks, so you better work harder than everybody in this room. laughter and he and he meant it, yeah, like he meant it. And i said, okay. Im like, yeah, okay, thats the first thing. Whats the second thing. And he said, lose the accent. Heres this book shakespeares sonets and read it expoafer over and over again and try to lose it. I had a Valet Parking company les. I first moved i couldnt work inside a restaurant. Im not good at taking orders. Fisomebody asked me to get a yo get it. So i started this Valet Parking business with some friends and sit in the parking lot and read this shakespeares sonets over and over and over stephen to break the accent. To break the accent. Stephen do you know any of the sonets. Could you do one with your accent and without . Which one would you like first . Stephen i would like without the accept first please. When i am sometimes absent from the heart. Stephen and notice with your accent. As a 19yearold sitting in a parking lot with southern accent when i am southern absent. Stephen thats believable i totally. You touched me. Ditouch you . Stephen you touched me, Walton Goggins. Goggins. Good. Stephen you have a new show on cbs called the unicorn. I want to point out i saw this before i saw you, i saw this on the street in los angeles. Its a 10storytall triptk ik posture of you, and it says, the perfect man is no longer a myth. And i said to my wife, im talking to that guy on wednesday. And she said, what does that mean, the perfect man is no longer a myth. This is downtown los angeles. And i pathis bilwentnd i was k its like of course you have to go and see it. Stephen sure. And my wife was with me and my son, and she was looking at me look at this building. And she said, oh, no, youre not taking this seriously, are you . Really i was kind of standing there like, yo, wow. And i said maybe i should. It says it. I didnt write it. Stephen if it wasnt true they could be sued for false advertising. Exactly. Stephen legally, this has to be true pup should bring this up in arguments or Something Like that. Im going to take this th with me and show people. I did, i went home and thought man, thats a lot of pressure. But you can do it. You can just do it this. And i did pretty good for tworp hours, and i was asleep of nine of those hours. The other 15 i was like, man, i got this. I can actually do this. Until the next morning, after waking up and making my son breakfast. Amazing. Walked outside, and someone ran a stop sign in front of my house in the neighborhood. And i lost it. What is wrong with you there are children that play here. And you almost hilt the trash cans they forgot to take in and my son looked at me and he said, dad, you lost your cool. Youre no longer the perfect man. The perfect man is still a myth. We can walk away from that. It feels good to let that go, to be quite honest with you. Stephen we have a clip here. You can tell us whats happening . I believe this is a clip where wade felton, the man i play on the unicorn, finds out why he is a unicorn. Are you a unicorn. Im a what . A unicorn, you than elusive creature that all single women are looking for. Most of the men on the dating sites are having midlife crises, getting divorced, buying porsches. Theyre hook up with 25yearolds. Are you a devoted father, you are a devoted husband. And not for nothing you havent had sex with anybody besides jill for, like, 20 years. Youre factory fresh. Technically, hes certified preowned. Why do you have to put your own spin on everything . Stephen walton, its nice to meet you again. Yeah. Stephen the unicorn premieres tomorrow at 8 30 on cbs. Walton goggi , everybody captioning sponsored by cbs stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when ill be joined by Bernie Sanders and musical guest brittany howard. Now stick around for james good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show

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