Plus many more so what are you waiting for . Order surfin mia today, and enjoy summer the way it was meant to be spent alone and in da its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight depress briefing. Plus, stephen welcomes Jake Gyllenhaal and musical guest m. Ward featuring jon batiste and stay homin. and now, live on tape from a safe distance, its stephen colbert. Stephen if its true, that will be great. Oh, hi. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. My wife and i were just talking out whats actually happening so we can all go bao living our lives. Sure, im just looking forward to the glorious day when this scriess over, and i can rip off my mask and go into a crowded room full of elderly people and lick them all. And what gets me is President Trump should have seen the covid crisis coming. Were now learning that as far back as january, the president s intelligence briefing book repeatedly cited the virus threat. Well, theres your problem. Those are three of trumps least favorite words intelligence, briefing, and book. If they really wanted him to pay attention, they should have called it his daily pornographic hamburger fire truck. For a guy who doesnt know what hes talking about, trump sure does talk a lot. He was at it again yesterday, but not without a little drama because, in one day, the white house scheduled, canceled, then rescheduled the press briefing. Who changes their mind that its a press briefing, don, not a wedding vow. Trump was asked about his suggestion last week that people inject disinfectant to cure the coronavirus. Reporter maryland and other states governor larry hogan, specifically said theyve seen a spike in people using disinfectant after your comments last week. I know you said theyre sarcastic but i cant imagine why. I cant imagine why, yeah. Reporter do you take any responsibility if someone were to die . No, i cant imagine i cant imagine that. Stephen i cant imagine why those people followed your advice. Its a real mystery specifically, nancy drew and the case of bleach she drank after trump told her to. Then, the president shifted blame to his longtime nemesis fill in the blank. It could have been stopped, and it could have been stopped short. But somebody a long time ago, it seems, decided not to do it that way. And the whole world is suffering because of it. Stephen as trump yes, someone should have stopped it, a long time ago, and i dont wanna say where. Lets just say in a galaxy far, far away. That bad guy had a ventilator on his face. He knew something was up. Now, at the briefing, the Trump Administration unveiled what they called their blueprint for increasing testing capacity. But it leaves the onus on states to develop their own plans. So their plan is make someone else come up with a plan. And im being told we have a copy of the trump blueprint in fact, the federal supplier of last resort. That is inspiring leadership, just like braveheart they may take our lives, but theyll never take our freedom anyway, thats the blueprint good luck im a fighter of last resoooort stephen then reporters grilled Vice President mike pence about why the number of tests has been so much lower than what he said they would be almost two months ago. Reporter mr. Vice president , back in early march, you said wed get four million tests by the following week. Weve just now gotten there in the last few days. What lessons have you learned from the mistakes over the last month and a half or so . Jon, i appreciate the question, but it represents a misunderstanding on your part and, frankly, a lot of people in the publics part about the difference between having a test, versus thee test. Stephen well, okay, but if you dont process the tests, you dont get any results theres a reason why when you take a pregnancy test two minutes later, it doesnt say congratulations, its pee. But i dont know why were listening to that guy at all, because today pence visited the mayo clinic, where he was the only person not wearing a face mask. Oh, my god you are the head of the Coronavirus Task force, and youre in the hospital, and youre the only one without a mask. Hold on, ive got a mask for you right here. Its not like the Vice President didnt know. The hospital has a strict policy requiring all visitors to wear masks and tweeted after pences visit, mayo clinic had informed v. P. Of the masking policy prior to his arrival today. Wow. That must have been harsh for mike pence to get roasted by his idol mayo. While pence was saying it and spraying it, trump had a coronavirus meeting with florida governor, ron desantis, seen here estimating the size of his brain. Right off the bat, trump offered some crazy ideas to fight the virus, like banning entire countries from entering florida. Youre gonna be cutting off brazil. Not cut them off. But if youre going to fly to miami, then the airlines should give you the abbott test, and then put you on the plane. Would you ever want to ban, certain countries . If there if they were seeding the United States, i think we should ban them. Youll let us know. Stephen what . What do you mean, youll let us know . Ron desantis will let the president of the United States know if he wants to ban a country . Thats not how this works. I dont trust florida with international policy. I barely trust florida with florida. Dont ask their advice. Doesnt trump know asking a floridian for advice is floridas leading cause of death . And then desantis boasted about floridas success. His secret having Jared Kushner on speed dial. When everyone is talking about 40,000 ventilators in new york. I was in touch with jared, and he said they arent going to need that. And i said i agree with your numbers. Maybe things will change. So they were ready at a moments notice to get the ventilators wherever they were needed. They were ready, willing, and able to do that. Stephen im not saying desantis is an asskisser. He could use jareds butt as a ventilator. Stephen it turns out not only are the airlines flying. Theyre still crowding people on board. Look at recent footage of a flight from new york to charlotte, North Carolina. Now, of course, thats back in coach. In first class you get coronavirus on your hot towel. The passenger who took this video tweeted, she never felt less safe or cared for in her entire life. Obviously, she has never flown on spirit airlines. When when another passenger asked about the crowded plane yes, we know it is a business, but when you started charging us an extra 70 for blood circulation. But some airlines are trying to adapt to the coronavirus world. For example, jetblue is the first u. S. Airline to require passenger face masks. Jetblues chief operating officer explained that this is the new flying etiquette. Replacing the old flying etiquette none. And jetblue isnt the only airline doing virus prevention, because airasia has launched a new Flight Attendant uniform with long sleeves, face mask, and hood. So, apparently, now your flight crew is manned by a posse of break dancers from chernobyl. Air travel is the least of our problems, though, because americans could see meat shortages by the end of the week. Apparently, outbreaks are forcing the closure of some of the countrys biggest slaughterhouses for safety reasons. You know its bad if slaughterhouses are doing something for safety reasons. Theyre pretty tough places. Theres a reason they dont call them cuddle houses. According to the chairman of tyson foods mike tyson, im going to say supplychain issues mean that millions of pounds of meat will disappear. A phrase thats actually inscribed over the door frame of every arbys. The shortage has already begun. Almost a third of u. S. Pork capacity is down. It doesnt help that arbys just introduced their new sandwich the u. S. Pork capacity. Fortunately, this problem came to the attention of americas numberone meat fan. Because, today, trump ordered u. S. Meat plants to stay open amid the pandemic. Ww. He really acted quickly to save the meats. Maybe they should have put that in the initial intelligence briefing. as aide mr. President , hundreds of thousands of americans could be infected with this deadly virus. And some of those people make your hamburgers. as trump quick. Ramp up the testing and fire up the grill. Of course, i dont know why anyone is surprised by this. That old crone tried to warn us of the coming meat shortage years ago. Wheres the beef . Stephen we have a great show for you tonight. Ill be talking to the lovely and talented Jake Gyllenhaal. But when we return meanwhile. little girl thank you, love you neighbors thank you thank you [clinking and applause continues] confident financial plans, calming financial plans, complete financial plans. Theyre all possible with a cfp® professional. Find yours at letsmakeaplan. Org. Guys guys safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Safe dr life is too far. You cant do it on your own but time will show and dont you know how bad we need each other . You know what im saying . Hmmm. Mmm. Mmmm. Mmmm stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back. Were already here talking with our friend jon batiste. We were just working out some we were just working out some some some. Jon common tonality harmony. Stephen thats exactly what i was going to say, common tonality harmony. Jon its a fun game. Just play the one note. Stephen aaahh jon oooh. Stephen can i sing jazz . You bet. Ready . Aaaahhhh. No matter what he plays, im ready. Jon youre a bad cat. Stephen oh, yeah, im way gone, daddyo. laughter how are you doing today . You look all fresh and happy. Jon yeah. Im good. I was just checking speaking of jazz, i was listening to duke eling ton on the dick cavett show. I hadphen wow. That show. And i checked that out, man, and i was pleasantly surprised to teph thats nice. What did they talk about . Jon well, i was just listening to it just before we started talking. But they were starting to talk about how hes on the road and he never leaves the road. Like, Duke Ellington stephen like, didnt have a home, just was always on the road. Jon yes. And his idea of touring that was it didnt exist. Theres no such thing as touring. Its just a way of life. And that was really interesting to hear how he approached the music like that. Stephen wow, wow. Hard on the family, i guess. Jon yeah. Thats not for me. But. You know, duke made great music, so maybe he figured something out, you know. Stephen thank you, jon. Jon much love. Stephen yknow, i spend most of my time sitting right here, bringing together the organic whole wheat flour, the triple frenchflaked sea salt, and fresh active bakers yeast that are the big stories of the day, proofing and baking them into the artisanal baguette that is my monologue. But sometimes, sometimes, instacart cant get any of that stuff. So i like to also sit right here, rummage through the news pantry for some expired cake mix, soak some raisins in tepid orange juice to ferment my own yeast, and throw in the baking soda from the back of the crisper to make the hobostyle quartined meanwhile segment qrantinewhile stephen quarantinewhile, in california, a trio of suspected thieves was arrested in what police are calling a heinous toilet paper caper. You can see it all in the new action comedy oceans number 2. Police were patrolling a Shopping Mall parking lot when they came across the thieves trying steal 31 rolls of toilet paper, 31 towels of various sizes, and four sets of bed sheets. No judgement, but it really sounds like those thieves are planning to wipe their butts with towels and sheets. It would explain charmins new slogan enjoy the go, dread the laundry. Quarantinewhile, americans are stockpiling frozen pizza, causing a potential shortage amid the coronavirus. Really . Frozen pizza . Fresh pizza is one of the things you can still have brought to you. Frozen pizza is a last resort. Thats why the slogan is, its not delivery. Its de only thing we have. Quarantinewhile, a dog has tested positive for coronavirus, marking the first known positive case in a dog in the United States. E victim here, but i doubt the dog was observing proper hygiene protocols while licking its own butt. Canine patient zero is a pug from North Carolina named winston, seen here contaminating the photographer. But you dont have to worry about him because, apparently, he was only sick for a few days and is now doing much better. Though, keep in mind, this is a pug were talking about. So this is what it looks like when hes feeling healthy. Now, this isnt just a dog problem, because some cats have also tested positive for coronavirus. Hold up, how are these dogs and cats even getting access to covid19 tests . Do they play in the n. B. A . You know, theres nothing in the rule book that says a dog cant play in the n. B. A. Quarantinewhile, the pentagon has officially released u. F. O. Y videos were first released by a company cofounded by former blink182 musician tom delonge. Will all sensitive government secrets now come from 90s pop bands . I look forward to getting north Korean Missile defense information from smashmouth. Ate agent smaghtmouth. Agent smaght agent smaghtmouth. Its not easy to say, agent smashmouth. Agent smashmouth, how did you come by this information . Somebody once told me those launchpads arent phony i think this is a credible threeat quarantinewhile, a family in iowa made a sidewalk chalk Monopoly Game during the covid19 lockdown. Heres video of the gameboard winding through their neighborhood. Isnt that nice . Look at that. Thats cool. Very impressive. And way safer than my idea fullsized hungry hungry hippos. Well be right back with Jake Gyllenhaal. Somebody once told me smashmouth its time to step up. Prep up. Step up. Prep up. To help keep you free from the risk of hiv. From the makers of truvada, theres another prep option descovy for prep. A oncedaily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. Its not for everyone. Descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. Talk to your doctor to find out if its right for you. Step up. For health and body. Prep up for your one and only love or many loves. For kings, this queen, and you royals in between. For my now. Our now. 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Ask your doctor about your risk of hiv and if descovy for prep is right for you. Words are loud but actions are louder. Step up. Prep up. With descovy for prep. Get help paying for descovy for prep. Learn more at stepupprepup. Com show me reality. Tv. Where my hobbits at . Play lord of the rings. Play my straight outta the shire playlist. I want to see the king. Find lebron. Search more cartoons. Play the last o. G. Take me to the streets, play sesame street. Me want more cookies. Find the things you love with a voice command. Introducing at t tv. With live tv and access to streaming apps. Plug in and watch, with easy selfsetup. Shipped directly to you. When taking a break from everyday life is critical to everyones health, there is one thing we can all do together complete the 2020 census. Your responses are critical to plan for the next 10 years of health care, infrastructure, and education. Lets make a difference, together, by taking a few minutes to go online to 2020census. Gov. Its for the wellbeing of your community and will help shape americas future. Just like covered california teammateshelps you finder find a americway to win, Health Insurance you can afford. Theyre the only place you can get Financial Assistance to help pay for Health Coverage. Plus, this year, the state is providing more help than ever before. And because a new law requires californians to have Health Coverage or pay a penalty, covered california has made it easier to get financial help, but times limited. Visit coveredca. Com or call to enroll today. Stephen welcome back, everybody. You know my first guest from films such as brokeback mountain, nightcrawler, and spiderman far from home. Please welcome to a late show, Jake Gyllenhaal jake hi shhh shhh tehhh phen whats up . Y e why are we whispering . I have i have sourdough rising. Shhh its resting. My sourdough is resting. Stephen is that something sourdough shhh stephen is that something sourdough has to do . It has to rest. Yes stephen i dont i dont know. We can spieng a little. Theyre deep sleeping. Stephen is it have you have you fallen into the sourdough cult . Because thats something thats obsetion a lot of people right now. As my hair has grown longer and as i i have sort of slowly inched into the hipster world, ive found myself falling in love with sourdough. Actually, i have eye have nothing i have nothing to do, and so my i have a good friend who is a baker in san francisco. He has an amazing bakery called the mill, and we were talking. And i i i hate this, but i was like, you can teach me how to can you teach me how to do a sourdough starter . And so off off i went. Stephen did he teach you how to do a sourdough starter or did he give you sourdough starter . He he gave me what he calls josies magic. He sent it to me in the mail. His name is josie baker. He sent it to me in the mail, and i thought it was some illegal substance. And then i used it. It didnt fully work, but she sent me some flower with it, some rye flower whispering some rye flower. Stephen i asked for this reason because i have some. I have this stuff right here. I havent done anything with it yet. But it it my niece is making sourdough. It certainly smells sour. Its like it smells a little bit like yogurt. Is that right . Like vinegar. It should stephen yeah, its vinegary. Are there bubbles in it . Stephen yeah, there are bubbles. Theres some foam on the top. Now what do i do . Okay, hold on stephen i cant i cant eat that. What do i do . You go from that to this. whispering when is resting. Its not yet fully rising, but its on its way. Stephen thats beautiful. But then what do i do with this now . As if youre asking me, as if i what i do with it, is i take the starter, and then you have to get a nice sort of wheat flour, and you make a levante. Or a prefer ment in america. For 1224 hours, and then you can start mixing it up into some other flour, and then make your dough. Stephen i have no idea what motivates anyone to watch television anymore. So it is possible this conversation right now is either getting super bowl ratings or people are scrambling for the remote right now to click over to anything else. Theres a very particular kind of audience who is definitely into this. There are 14 people stephen i want to and pass on from my wife and also myself, a tremendous complement for your performance the other night in take me to the world a sondheim 90th birthday celebration. You saying youve on from sun net park with george, which you did on broadway, with ana lee arbford. Every sondheim song is beautiful and heartbreaking in its own way, but it was an amazing performance. We have a little bit of a clip right here explore the light i want to know how to get through through to something new something of my own stephen how did you do that . How did you do that a cappella and in different locations . How did you achieve that . I mean, look, it may be a surprise to you but im not a professional singer. I dont do a lot of recording. Stephen it is a surprise to me because that was beautiful. Oh, well, thanks. I dont know. We had i had i literally dont know. We had to play we had an accompaniment, and we had to sing together with our ear pod, and the timing was off. As is. We had to we had to sort of record sort of tracks before the other one in order to sing together. Its probably what like doing this show is for you. Its almost ts inexplicable. Stephen yes. You know . I cant even stephen did i watch it . Did you watch the show later because its so extraordinary. As i said, every sondheim song is beautiful, but i dont know all of them, but every single one, youre like, i dont really know that well. By the end of it, youre just weeping by the end of it. Had they told me i was going to be sandwiched between audrey mcdonald, meryl streep, and bernadette peters, i would have never been able to perform. Stephen it worked out. It worked out. I promise you. Yeah. Stephen do you have a favorite sondheim song. Obviously, as i said, you were the georges in sunny in the park with george. But do you have a favorite sondheim song . Dont waken the sourdough. Do you know that one. Stephen i do. Anyone can whistle right. I do, that song no more, at the tribute is my favorite sondheim song for the moment. And one of the lyrics from it that i just the lines, no more curses we cant undo left by fathers we never knew is just like there are so many lines in that song. That entire song is filled with incredible wisdom. But i love that line so much. Stephen how well do you know Stephen Sondheim . Uhm, uh, i mean, well, weve had dinner. Weve had dinner. I mean stephen thats not bad. I mean, i would say i graduated from calling him stephen to calling him ask the qt steve. Stephen i noticed. I noticed that you did you notice . Stephen people on the special stephen and some people called him steve. And i know mr. Sondheim a little bit, and i dont know if i could bring myself to call him steve. Thats bold. That moment where i tried it with him in person, you know, like i tried it in person. And i felt like my world could either completely undo or it could come together in complete harmony. And i put it out there, and he allowed it. Stephen oh, wow. Its like yeah, it was stephen thats like stealing home. Huh . Stephen i said thats like stealing home. It was. Stephen now, you did the last time you were on we were talking about sea wall a life, which was on the public and then brdway. Thursday, tell me if i have this right those who didnt get to see you on stage can listen it to it on audible. Yes, thursday april 30. It will actually be free, apparently, for audible members until may. End of may. Not one day. Tll the end of may. April 30 to may 1 its free. For five seconds stephen i want to i want to ask you and im asking for a friend. How is it like for you to perform something that youre used to doing in front of a Live Audience with no audience at all . Because id be curious that what feels like, jake. Well, i have ive had a lot of experience with this now, so i really can speak to it. Who who do you know that has to do that . Stephen i have a friend. Ihave a friend. He called me up he talks to me in the mirror in the middle of the night, and hes hes he just wants to know how to keep doing it. Okay, yeah, well, i feel that way about most things. But i it was it was really hard. I have to say, i dont know how you feel every night, but its like this sense of not having an audience, not stlag audience there is death defying. Its worse and scarier than having an audience. And its pretty scary having an audience. But it also gives you so much life. Its everything. Theyre everything,un. As witnessed by this interview. Stephen well, i i say if its a really good audience, i come off stage with more energy than i went on. Yes. Stephen i could be sick and i come off and im healed. Yes. Stephen doing a show without an audience youre left with your own devices and your own Energy Levels its a lovely job. But you get to have your wife around all the time. Stephen i do, and my son is here as my stage manager and lighting guy and sound guy. Could anything be better . If i had my family around me on stage, i dont know what i would do. I would probably lose it, you know. Stephen it can be hard sometimes. When im doing a show, i dont particularly want to see my familys face in the front row when im doing it. The audience is just this thing, i kind of what do you picture when you do the show . Are you doing it for 400 people . Who do you imagine youre doing it for . When im onr w i did the recording of it . Stephen when youre on stage. When youre actually performing in front of a Live Audience. It sw was a monologue, so as a result of being that, it was an exchange with the audience. We had to i did think of them there every night. And there would be sounds from the audience and i would respond to them, you know. We never really pretended that there was ever that fourth wall, or whatever its called. So i whatever would happen would happen. When we were recording it, it was like i didnt know who i was talking to. I it took me many takes to understand what the piece was even about without an audience. Stephen because you lose do you think about that every night . Stephen absolutely. You lose the rhythm. Because youre playing handball, and normally, you have that ball for the wall the wall for the ball to come off of. Yeah. Stephen bure just hitting the ball and you just kind of hear it bounce the ally and you hit another ball you and you hear it bounce down the al. I dont know how you feel, but Something Like this, its odd for me to see myself. Its odd for me to see Text Messages from my mother coming up. Every five to 15 seconds your son is probably like, i dont have to. But i have these text message s. Stephen anything good . Ever . She she wants to make lasagna together. Thats what ill tell you. My mom wants to make lasagna. Stephen you say i cant. Im stuck in the sourdough. Im in a relationship with sourdough right now, mom. I am, actually, in a relationship oops. Somebody woke up. Stephen jake, we have to take a break. But stick around, everybody. When we come back ill ask jake about the challenge he was issued by tom holland. Stick around. Its interesting what happens when you treat every little piece of a thing. Like its not just one thing. 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Com is the best way to learn about our plans, buy new phones and get the services you need. Stay healthy and go to sprint. Com today. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com at petsmart were here for thatyou. Ike. With easy ways to shop online for everything your pet needs. Delivered directly to your doorn and up intore. Now with curbside pickup. Shop petsmart. Com or download our mobile app today. Petsmart more than ever, your home is your sanctuary. Thats why lincoln offers you the ability to purchase a new vehicle remotely with participating dealers. An effortless transaction all without leaving the comfort and safety of your home. Thats the power of sanctuary. And for a little extra help, receive 0 apr financing and defer your first payment up to 120 days on the purchase of a new lincoln. When you think of a bank, you think of people in a place. But when you have the chase mobile app, your bank can be virtually any place. So, when you get a check. You can deposit it from here. And you can see your transactions and check your balance from here. You can save for an emergency from here. Or pay bills from here. So when someone asks you, wheres your bank . You can tell them heres my bank. Or heres my bank. Or, heres my bank. Because if you download and use the chase mobile app, your bank is virtually any place. Visit chase. Com mobile. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Were here with star of stage and screen and baking, Jake Gyllenhaal. Now, your spiderman friend, tom holland, who youre having a romance with, i understand. Yes. Stephen lovely fellow. Full romance. Stephen he challenged and you Ryan Reynolds to put on a shirt while doing a handstand. Ryan reynolds refused. Which im shocked. He doesnt strike me as a coward. Well, i think he beat us all with his response. But, yeah, i was going to do the same thing until the morning of when he already posted him saying no. And then i thought, well, great, now im going to have to try this. And so i think stephen we have a clip of it. Oh, okay. Stephen were going to show it right here. Oh, great. Stephen nicely done. Thanks so much. Like, i actually tried i tried to do a trick before. I thought im going to be funny, and im going to turn my camera upside down, and im going to do it right side up, and im going to let the shirt fall into my hands. Stephen yes, yes, yes. You know . I tried that this is legitimately four times until i realized every time i turned my camera back over it went right side up. And i thought i should probably try it, and i tried it stephen you did it. It was okay. It felt nice. Stephen have you challenged anyone else . I challenged 50 cent, hugh jack man, and my sister. Hugh jackman is 50 cent did not respond. Stephen at all . Not even a response. I emailed him and it was like, come on, no response. Stephen who, hugh jackman or 50 cent . Hugh jackman. I said, come on, man. And he said, i hope youre well. Stephen that is an automatic reply. That is an occupan outofoffice automatic reply. That is a regif regift someboy elses email. My sister did it. My sister did it better than probably any of the ones who had done it before. Its like i dont know how you feel, but im a younger sibling. Stephen me, too. So im used to doing something, and then my older sibling doing it 10 times as well. So thats what happened with this, you know. I did get a lot of response from people, which i didnt expect, oh, wow, you did this thing. And my sister did it, and she killed it. She does lots of yoga and handstands and headstands and such. Pfs a cinch for her. I know. We can make a lot of comparisons. I know, weve had this conversation before. Stephen did you see symone biles, her challenge . No. Stephen she took off sweat pants, she did a hand stand and took them off with her feet in a handstand. Is that the kind of family you came from. Stephen no, no, were not the athletic type. Really . Stephen bookish. Bookish is how were mostly described. Speaking of how is your part . Stephen oh, well did you see yesterday . Did you see the flop yesterday . Yes. Stephen this is fine, this is okay. Its back. Stephen diit the right way tonight. I did it the right way tonight. I dont know what to do with this. What do you do with that . It becomes this. It stephen you im going to have to give it a leash pretty soon. Stephen well by the way, this is is a hair tie. I think thats called a leash for hair like this. I dont know. Stephen sure, sure. You had it tied up when you were doing the tshirt thing just now when we watched it. Do you remember . You have to. Im learning a lot of things, a lot of new things in quarantine. Stephen good, something good has come of this. Yes, definitely not this stl. You know what they like to say about the coronavirus well, at least nothing good came from this. Well, jake, thanks so much for being here. Nice to see you again. Its so nice to see you, always. Stephen give my love to your sourdough. I will. And give your sourdough a kiss. Stephen i will. You betcha, when the cameras go off. Sea wall a life is available starting thursday on audible. Jake gyllenhaal, everybody well be right back. Bye jake. Bye, steve steve. Stephen no one calls me steve. You know who calls me steve. My brother ed, my older brother ed calls me steve. Tom brokaw occasionally calls me steve, and tom hanks calls me steve. Jon i mean stephen youre in the club. Its a very exclusive club. Wow im so proud. Stephen congratulations. See you later, Steve Stephen steve you, jacob. People used to care. Heck, theyd come all the way out here just for a blurry photo of me. Oh, thats a good one. Wait, whats that . Thats just the lowbattery warning. Oh, alright. Now its ac m and, lets go fourwheeling. Maybe theres a little part of me that wanted to be seen. Well, progressive helps people save so theyve got other things to do now, bigfoot. Wait, whatd you just call me . Bigfoot . My name is daryl. Youre not using too much are ycharmin ultra soft is so soft youll have to remind your family they can use less. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. The last thing you should have to worry about right now is having enough toilet paper. Please know were working around the clock to get you more charmin. Stay safe. Not even our competitors best battery can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Life is too far you cant do it on your own but time will show and dont you know how bad we need each other . You know what im saying . Hmmm. Mmm. Mmmm. Mmmm stand up to moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. And take. It. On. With rinvoq. Rinvoq a oncedaily pill. Can dramatically improve symptoms. Rinvoq helps tame pain, stiffness, swelling. And for somerinvoq can even significantly reduce ra fatigue. Thats rinvoq relief. With ra, your overactive immune system. Attacks your joints. Rinvoq regulates it to help stop the attack. Rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious infections and blood clots, sometimes fatal, have occurred. As have certain cancers, including lymphoma, tears in the stomach or intestines, and changes in lab results. Your doctor should monitor your bloodwork. Tell your doctor about any infections. And if you are or may become pregnant while taking rinvoq. Take on ra talk to your rheumatologist about rinvoq relief. Rinvoq. Make it your mission. If you cant afford your medicine, abbvie may be able to help. And i like to question your im yoevery move. N law. Like this left turn. Its the next one. You always drive this slow . How did you make someone i love . That must be why youre always so late. I do not speed. And thats saving me cash with drivewise. [mayhem] you always drive like an old lady . [tina] youre an old lady. That could mean an increase byin energy bills. You can save by setting your heat to 68 or lower. Unplugging and turning off devices when not in use. Or just letting the sun light your home. Stay well and keep it golden. For over 80 years, nissan hasn ick and thin, and now is no different. Were offering Payment Options for current owners. Our Service Departments are here to help. And now were offering more help. No payments for three months. Plus, well cover your payments for up to two additional months. This is help when you need it. Stephen welcome back to a late show. Performing, migration of souls from his new album, migration stories, ladies and gentlemen, m. Ward sailing on past space and time, thats how ill get back to you sailing on past space and time, thats how ill get back to you woah, woah, oh woah, woah woah, woah, oh woah, woah from the wilshire to the future take my footprint past the sunset from the rio to the astro thats how ill get back thats how ill get back thats how ill get to you woah, woah, oh woah, woah woah, woah, oh woah, woah stephen thank you, m. Ward well be right back. First rodeo and let me tell you something, i wouldnt be here if i thought reverse mortgages took advantage of any american senior, its just a loan designed for older homeowners, and, its helped over a million americans. A reverse Mortgage Loan isnt some kind of trick to take your home. Its a loan, like any other. Big difference is how you pay it back. Find out how reverse mortgages really work with aags free, noobligation reverse mortgage guide. Eliminate monthly mortgage payments, pay bills, medical costs, and more. 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So you can. Retire better stephen thats it for a late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guest will be mayor pete buttigieg, and senator amy klobuchar, and musical guest, haim. Stick around for james corden, but first, lets say goodnight with some music from jon batiste. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh the late late show, oh, oh the late late show its the late late show james good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late late show. But lets face it, these days timeo