So then at that point you say, what is the market telling about whos going to get the gavel . Another speaker of the house race is kicking off, and the best place to get in on the action is at draftkandidates. You can bet on jim dont mention ohio state jordan or steve whos this guy again scalise. At draftkandidates, everyone wins except Kevin Mccarthy. He always loses. You can also bet on matt gaetz. Does his head way less then 60 pounds . I wouldnt bet on it. But you can on draftkandidates. Where the house never wins. Announcer its the late show with tephen colbert tonight. House of the rising dunce. First, stephen welcomes senator John Fetterman and Melissa Villasenor. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen oh ive got you. [cheers and applause] lively. Maestro. Lovely. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome. Welcome one and all to the late show. Its electric. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, theres dramatic news out of washington. The rudderless republicans in congress have moved tantalizingly close to doing the bare minimum. Because today, in a narrow vote, they finally chose someone to be the nominee to possiby be speaker of the house. That nominee is, drumroll please. Louisiana congressman and gumball choking on a gumball, steve scalise. [horns wah wah wah] congratulations, steve. You are one step closer to having the worst job in the world. Its just one rung below emptying the portapotties at a chili cookoff. In a surprising development, scalise has already got the support of his chief rival, ohio representative and dog in a mansuit, jim jordan. Jim jordan scalise prevailed in this race despite jordan being endorsed by trump. When he heard the news, trump immediately endorsed a new candidate for speaker. Hannibal lecter. Stephen not a bad call. In todays g. O. P. , lecter is a moderate. Despite not getting trumps endorsement, scalise is a true maga republican. Reportedly, he once described himself as david duke without the baggage. Oh, the man really knows how to sell himself. What am i like . Less pol pot and more pol hot. The g. O. P. Is still deeply divided, and things have been a little tense. Just last night, florida g. O. P. Congressman Carlos Gimenez described the situation like this. Ive already tasted chaos. And i dont want to taste it again. Stephen coincidentally, i have tasted chaos is also the slogan for tgifridays wings roulette platter. Wings roulette. So one of the wings will kill you. Republicans have been at each others throats ever since eight of their members voted to oust former speake Kevin Mccarthy. One of those, South Carolina representative nancy mace, was so upset for how shes been treated for her vote that she did this. Can you explain the a on your shirt and why you wore it . Im wearing the Scarlet Letter after the week that i just had last week, being a woman up here and being demonized for my vote and for my voice. Stephen okay, that is no. The a just does not make sense. Unless you see the guy she was standing next to. That makes more sense. That makes a little. Little more sense. Thats really a dumb look. She looks way less hester prynee and way more alvin chipmunk. Scalises path to the gavel chipmunks fans here. Scalises path to the gavel was made a lot easier last night when Kevin Mccarthy told his colleagues not to nominate him this time. Instead, mccarthy read a poem from Mother Teresa. Naturally, Mother Teresa is mostly known for her poetry. I hope he read this one. Roses are red. Im up in heaven. Whatever you do dont vote for kevin. [cheers and applause] obviously. Scalises victory comes in spite of opposition from mccarthy. For months leading up to last nights forum, mccarthys allies whispered scalise wasnt loyal enough, while scalises allies whispered back that the speaker didnt trust the elected leadership team. To which jordans allies whispered, why are we whispering . The door is closed. Its just us chickens. One of the members who voted today is a real blast from the past. Its new york congressman george santos. [booing] seen here saying, i am a crook. As youll recall, santos might be the lyingest liar lying in congress. Back in may, he was indicted for fraud and misusing campaign funds. And now he faces 10 new federal charges, including wire fraud, aggravated identity theft, and false statements to the federal election commission. Let me just say thank you, george santos. Its been a really tough week in the news, and we needed a treat. [laughter] the bitch is back for a squeaquel, and i am here for it i dont really know what means. [cheers and applause] i dont actually know. Chipmunk reference . Second chipmunk reference. The latest round of charges brings the total number of counts against him to 23. Congratulations, george. 68 more and you can run for president. Apparently, apparently, reportedly, santos entire campaign was just a cashgrab. Among other things, prosecutors accuse him of running up thousands of dollars in fraudulent charges on donors credit cards and stealing their identities. Okay, thats just greedy, george. You already have so many identities. Anthony devolder, anthony zabrovsky, kitara ravache. Save some identities for the rest of us maybe i want to try on something new, like clarissa st. Tartare, wealthy widow to the inventor of mixing bowls. Charmed, im sure. [applause] more champagne the specifics outlined in the indictment are kookoo bananasplits. In one instance, santos allegedly stole a donors credit card number to transfer more than 11,000 to his own bank account. Zoinkers though people shouldve been tipped off by his slogan santos 2022 thats my pin number. Whats yours . Santos also reportedly swindled 50,000 from two other donors and then used the money to buy luxury designer clothing. Good for you, george you gotta dress for the job you want, which, based on this outfit, is Willie Wonkas accountant. Red tie with the purple jacket and the purple shirt. When confronted yesterday by reporters, santos did the honorable thing and lied. No comment. I did not have access to my phone. I have no clue. Prosecutors say you defrauded the american public. Will you resign . I have no clue of what you guys are talking about. No, i will not. Excuse me. Stephen yes, he didnt have access to his phone, he said. While holding his phone. Phone . I dont have a one. Bringbring hello, oprah . Yes, this is she. Speaking of shameless grifters, failed arizona gubernatorial candidate and woman who just rearended you in the target parking lot, kari lake. Last night, lake held a rally in scottsdale, arizona, where she launched her senate campaign, even though she never conceded that she lost last years race for arizona governor. Not to mention her failed quest lake is running for the seat currently held by arizona junior senator and pile of stuff you bought on etsy, kyrsten sinema. Sinema got elected as a democrat but later ditched the party to caucus as an independent, so if she runs, shell also be challenged by democratic representative ruben gallego. And right now, gallego is leading sinema and lake in the hypothetical threeway race. No surprise. As anyone whos ever been in a threeway knows, the guy usually finishes first. I dont know what that means. I work at cbs. I dont know what that joke means. But kari lake is trying to rally conservatives by leaning into trump. I dont know about you, but who else misses President Trump . I do [cheering] i do oh, man, i miss the mean tweets too. It was the mean tweets that was making us safe. It was making us safe. Stephen yes, shes right. The mean tweets are the key to safety, which is why our next secretary of defense clearly must be jimmy kimmel. [cheers and applause] thank you for your service. Strike force. Oh, theres some news about injured jets quarterback and chicago cop at the beach, aaron rodgers. Rodgers is antivax, and lately hes taken issue with chiefs tight end travis kelce for appearing in a pfizer ad. So last week, rodgers went on espn and derisively called kelce mr. Pfizer. Okay, thats not nice. You know very well his name is mr. Taylor swifts maybe boyfriend. [cheering] now things have escalated, and rodgers has challenged kelce to face off in the manly competition hes best at tv debate. Mr. Pfizer said he didnt think hed be in a vax war with me didnt think hed be in a vax war with me. This isnt a war, homie. This is a conversation. But if you want to have some sort of duel, debate, have me on the podcast. Come on the show lets have a conversation. Oh stephen oh thats right, its monday night talkball are you ready for rebuttals . Me and the whole debate team will come on. Now, we cover a lot of tough issues on this show, you know that. But ill admit, sometimes we fail to talk about the issue that matters most to you and your family bigfoot. I have incredible news, because a new bigfoot sighting shows clear Video Evidence of sasquatch walking. Walking . Well, that must be what the big feet are for its gotta be real which means its time for the latest installment of my cryptozoological segment squatch watch stephen on tonights episode of s. W. , we examine footage captured by amateur cryptozoologists you figure out that word. Its part of the mystery. It features sasquatch behavior neverbefore caught on film. Take a look. Elusive creature. All right, he just squatted down. Stephen my god squatting down harrys dropping the hendersons off at the pool this is the most important discovery in cryptid science since they caught the loch ness monster giving the chupacabra a dutch oven. Now, skeptics will say that there cannot be real footage of bigfoot squeezin out his yeti spaghetti. But look again. Look again. Now freeze freeze it, jimmy enhance hes got a newspaper now, i told you it was important. This is a particularly historic sighting because the squatch is native to the great woods of the pacific northwest. But this video was captured thousands of miles away in colorado. Yes, colorado, which means i have to issue a rare squatchwatch alert. Bigfoot is high gentlemen, ladies, we got a stoned squatch hes out there, hes got the munchies. Colorado residents, guard your jerky. We got a great show for you tonight our guest is americas highest ranking sasquatch, senator John Fetterman. Well be right back. Announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by the sleep experts at zzzquil. Heres why you should switch from chrome to duckduckgo. Duckduckgo is a browser you download to your mobile and desktop devices. Unlike chrome, the duckduckgo browser has privacy builtin. It comes with a private alternative to google search, which doesn■t spy on your searches, and it blocks cookies and creepy ads. And theres no catch. Its free. We make money from ads, but they dont follow you around. Join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on mobile and desktop today. [cheers and applause] stephen late show band, everybody. Right over there. Louis, and just a moment, im very excited because this guy does not do talk shows very often. Senator John Fetterman is going to be out here. Third time. Third time ive interviewed him. Twice at the colbert report over in the day. Nobody knew who he was and i knew who he was because im cool. Then the wonderful comedian Melissa Villasenor will be out here. Folks, its hispanic heritage month, the time of year we celebrate the incredible contributions of hispanic americans, which is important because, according to recent studies, while hollywood is more ethnically diverse than ever, latin presence in tv and film is declining. Its so bad that dora the explorer is getting replaced with braylynn the tri delt doing study abroad. But perhaps the Biggest Issue we need to focus on this hispanic heritage month is what to call it. No one can seem to agree. Representative alexandria ocasiocortez calls it hispanic heritage month. Pbs calls it hispanic latino heritage month, and the New York Public Library calls it hispanic latinx heritage month. I dont know all nuances, but i did recently learn that latinx refers to latinos of all genders and not, as i thought, latinos who have adamantium claws. So just what are the differences between hispanic and latino . Here to explain is my writer, Felipe Torres medina. Felipe. Good to see you. [cheers and applause] hola, Steve Stephen hello in spanish, felipe como estas . Stephen thank you, i am. Felipe, could you please explain the difference between latino and hispanic to everyone at home . Of course. The term hispanic means a person who is from or has ancestors from a spanishspeaking country or territory. So, anywher from cuba to spain. Stephen and youre colombian, so that would make you hispanic. Correct. Stephen what about latinos . Latinos are people who come from latin america, regardless of spanish culture and origin. So that would include brazilians or haitians. Stephen okay, so youre also latino. I understand. Do you . Lets put that to the test in the game we like to call hispanic or latino stephen felipe, are you taking over my show . You cant do that si se puede. Stephen okay. Okay. Steve. Im gonna name a celebrity, and youre gonna tell me if theyre hispanic stephen jlo not yet, stephen. I say the name, and you tell me if theyre hispanic, latino, or both. Are you ready . All rightk, here we go. Lin manuel miranda. Stephen his family is from puerto rico, so. Both [ding] correct pele. Stephen just latino [ding] correct next one, antonio banderas. Stephen hispanic. In puss in boots. Stephen uh. Still hispanic . [buzzer] incorrect. He is a cat. Stephen el gato . [ding] correcto [cheers and applause] george santos. Stephen well, hes brazilian. So latino. [buzzer] im goingincorrect. Im going with norwegian, because were not taking the blame for that guy. Felipe Torres Medina well be right back with senator John Fetterman. My a1c was up here; now, its down with rybelsus®. His a1c . Its down with rybelsus®. My doctor told me rybelsus® lowered a1c better than a leading branded pill and that people taking rybelsus® lost more weight. I got to my a1c goal and lost some weight too. 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Like our cretors cheese and caramel mix. Great on their own, even better together. Try cretors, handcrafted smallbatch popcorn. Stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is the junior senator from pennsylvania. Please welcome back senator John Fetterman. [cheers and applause] nice to see you again. The first time i interviewed you, you are a mayor. Now youre a senator. Every part of your life is public, including your health. In may of 2022, you had a stroke. Senator fetterman i did. Stephen first question is how are you feeling . Senator fetterman i was actually on my way to a Campaign Event and i was walking into anyone know. Anyone . I am a sheets guy. I was walking out of the bathroom and my wife gisele was like oh, my god, youre having a stroke. I was like, what are you talking about . I feel fine. There were some signs, my face was drooping little bit. Youve got to get to the hospital. I was like no, ive got to get to this event. The primary was a couple days ago. They insisted on me going to the hospital. That stroke nearly claimed my life. Nearly dying is a major downer. Im so grateful to be here with you again. Stephen happy to have you here too. Glad you could make it, shall we say. Explain to the audience wants the technology we are using right here for this interview. Senator fetterman im so grateful that after the stroke, i had some enduring processing auditory issues and now sometimes i use this captioning. That is nothing different than having glasses, like you have. So i absolutely can process everything. Sometimes the language gets kind of lost in translation. So i use this im able to interact. And it really made me oh fully, more empathetic person. I never thought about captioning before i had the stroke. Now i realized i have to be an advocate for anyone with a disability to have a kind of technology that allows them to fully participate in society. [applause] stephen well, i can see how being more empathetic might make you a better senator. And being public about the disability that you have is a good thing. But how does it feel to have your private Health Become public news . Senator fetterman you sign up for that gig. Thats part of it. Now the better i get, the sand fox news becomes. Because because they love [cheers and applause] every word i missed was like candy for fox news. They even started thinking, some people think theres a conspiracy that i have a body double now. Stephen yes. This right here. Its in forbes. Conspiracy theorists go viral with claim senator John Fetterman actually body double. Senator fetterman now i tell the truth, its like im actually the body double. John is at home going to be watching this. Stephen good, all right. Mental health has also become part of the Public Discourse in part because of you. A lot of politicians over the years have dealt with depression in different forms. Lincoln had his melancholy. Churchill famously had his black dogs. Thomas eagleton in 1972 got kicked off the democratic ticket but youre the first one to publicly seek help for your depression. And then lean into educating other people about it. What has that been like, to discuss this struggle so publicly that goes to the heart of how you deal with every day . Senator fetterman its privilege and its a duty to talk about this. Because i want everybody. You have in normas platform. I want anyone whos listening to this and sees this, if you are suffering from depression, please get help. Please get help because it wo works. [cheers and applause] i get emotional because when youre in the blackness im depression thinks you into thinking that youve lost even though you might have won. I was a skeptic. I am like, im never going to get better. This is never going to change. It takes you in a more dangerous direction. I really want to emphasize anyone that is on that slope, dont ever, ever, ever make the decision to ever harm yourself. I beg people please get help. [applause] succumbing to that, its not weakness. It just means that the god news is that it works. Because i was the biggest skeptic ever. Stephen speaking to people who need help, the house of representatives is a mess. Do senators feel pretty good right now that theyre not the most dysfunctional part of the government . Senator fetterman [laughs] well, its a low bar really. No. I just want everybody to realize how truly dysfunctional it really is. I always tell people, dont worry. Please dont worry. Its much worse than you think. [laughter] truly. Stephen you changed what a Political Campaign looks like, what it sounds like. Is it easier to do that or to change what the senate looks and sounds like . Because youre different. Senator fetterman [laughs] no. The senate thing. I dont know. Have any of you heard of a story about the dress code . Stephen yes. Yes, we have heard about the dress code. Here you are. You are the star of it. Senate dishes dress code as fetterman and others choose casual clothes. Senator fetterman i never asked for it and when i heard it was going to be announced i thou, re it comes. I was struck by, oh, my god, the world is going to burn because hes going to wear a hoodie on the floor. Ukraine or shutting down the government, all these issues. I think its much more important to see is, what will this man where on the floor of the senate . Stephen just in case you want to stay casual and formal at the same time, we got you a tuxedo tshirt. There you go. Thank you very much. Thank you. It only comes in large so it might look like a onesie on you. Senator fetterman [laughs] statement is it awkward to be in the capitol and then run into people that you have put up a devastating meme about because youve got excellent meme game. But then you have to see these people in the cafeteria. Senator fetterman you all need to know that america is not sending their best and brightest to washington, d. C. [applause] sometimes you literally just cant believe. These people are making the decisions that are determining the government here. Its actually scary. Before the government almost shut down, it came down to a couple hours. I was in my office and they finally came over from the house and they were like okay, well, this has to be unanimous in the senate. Out of 99 of us, if one single one of us wouldve said no, the whole government would have shut down. Thats how dangerous that is to put that kind of power in ones hands because you have some very less gifted kinds of people there that are willing to shut down the government just to score points on fox. Stephen perhaps they have other gifts that they are just hiding from us. Senator fetterman yeah. And it never thought that having a speaker of the house would ever be useful and things come up. I never thought. Stephen we have to take a quick break. Well be right back with more senator John Fetterman, everybody. Stick around. W crispy dragon sh. One of seven endless choices. Right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining. The right age for neutrogena® retinol . Thats whenever you want it to be. It has dermproven retinol that targets vital cell turnover, evens skin tone, and smooths fine lines. With visible results in just one week. Neutrogena® retinol is it menopause or Something Else . The menopause journey has stages. Learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator. That tracks your fsh hormone levels. Combining them with your cycle data. Whats your menopause stage . I have moderate to severe Crohns Disease. Now, theres skyrizi. Things are looking up ive got symptom relief control of my crohns means everything to me. Control is everything to me. 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Round cleans better by surrounding each tooth to remove 100 more plaque. For a superior clean. Oralb. Brush like a pro. Zyrtec works hard at hour 1 and twice as hard when you take it again the next day. So betty can be the. Barcode beat conductor. Lets be more than our allergies and for fast allergy relief with a powerful decongestant, try zyrtecd. Stephen hey, everybody right there. He recognized that man. It is the body double of pennsylvania senator John Fetterman. Senator, right now the world is shocked. Peoples hearts are broken. Their minds are tortured by whats happening in israel, this brutal attack by hamas. The people in israel. Weve got an upcoming deadline in the United States for a november budget. In the senate, is there a discussion going on about in that budget including increased aid to israel . Senator fetterman its crazy. I just want everyone to know that hates devastating what happened in israel. As a senator, am always going to see on the side of israel and im going to make sure that whatever is needed. Military, intelligence or humanitarian to vote for that and supported. Right now they cant do anything. We dont have a speaker. This is what im talking about. Scoring points on fox news has real major kinds of ramifications for the world. Its just astonishing. This is not entertainment. This is. This is entertainment. But they treat it like its entertainment and its governance. Theres an importnt difference. [applause] stephen did you by any chance, i am sure you did if you saw president bidens speech yesterday which was very powerful. What was your reaction to what he had to say about the situation in israel . Senator fetterman again, i absolutely stand with him on that. I know the president is committed to making sure that we deliver for israel. But also ukraine as well too. We have a pivotal kind of position to be in that we have to stand with both of these kinds of campaigns to stand for those kinds of people that are fighting against these kinds of awful kinds of enemies. Stephen senator, thank you so much for being here tonight. [applause] senator fetterman thank you for having me here too. I think i understand, we brought a present here . Stephen is out what this is . Senator fetterman you handed me a present so i think we brought you one too. [cheers and applause] stephen i appreciate it they gave me your sizes so i think i can go camping in this. Senator fetterman change the dress code on this show. Still we will start. A center, thank you so much. Senator John Fetterman, everybody. Wewell be right back with comedian Melissa Villasenor. I got you coffee. Oh my god, what . You literally read my mind. Got you, girl. Who says you cant go for bold without going broke. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. 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The new fully electric audi q8 etron models. Yo gotta try this axe. Its the fine fragrance g. O. A. T. axe fine fragrance collection. Smell finer than the finest fragrances with the g. O. A. T. This october 10th and 11th, prime Big Deal Days give prime members exclusive access to two days of big savings. Which means, youre kind of a big deal. Prime Big Deal Days, on now. Only for prime members. Lactaid is 100 real milk, just without the lactose. Delicious too. Just ask my old friend, kevin. Nothing like enjoying a cold one while watching the game. Whos winning . We are, my friend. We are. Stephen there you go. Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and men, my next guest is a comedian and actress you know from her six seasons on saturday night live. Shes also the author of the book whoops. Im awesome. Please welcome to the late show Melissa Villasenor. [cheers and applause] melissa thank you so much. Stephen hello. [cheers and applause] no, please. Melissa no, you. Stephen no, no. So lovely to have you on. Melissa thanks for having me. Such an honor to be here, guys. Stephen and honored to have you. You just had a birthday. You just had a birthday couple days ago. Happy birthday. Melissa 36. Oh, you wrote it. They told you. Stephen they told me 36. Melissa its true. Stephen was it a secret . Melissa i dont mind. Thats why i lacked the grays grow. Let it show. Stephen very distinguished. Melissa i feel cool. Steel and a little bonnie raitt. Melissa eight was lowkey this year but ive had big birthdays, especially when i was at snl. Stephen is that this is . Melissa i wanted to show you. It was my birthday on an snl taping when Kim Kardashian hosted. I met her and i took a photo with her. She is saying the, which is so. Who gets that from a kardashian . She was like happy birthday. It was so interesting. Stephen beautiful voice. Melissa [highpitched] happy birthday. I am just guessing. I went to the after party and she had a box of doughnuts next to her for some reason. I got really excited for the doughnuts. Poor kim. I see kim but i was like kim, are these your doughnuts . She goes yeah, you can have them. I took them. I ate them. They were really good. She didnt want them. So the photo i have, Im Still Holding the doughnut. Stephen youve been on the stand up to over the past six months. Its called the new things tour. Why the new things . Melissa its a new chapter. I was on snl for six seasons which is amazing. Im proud of myself. Stephen sure. Did that fly . Melissa acted. I felt like this whole past year, its a new hour. Its all about, what do you do after the big goal . I didnt have any other plans. [laughs] so its all about reflecting on how amazing it was i got to do the impressions that ive been doing for a long time, to the celebrities, to their face. Some of them liked it. Some didnt. Natalie portman loved it. She was like wow, thank you so much. New orleans ever imitated me before. Thats amazing. She was like a comanche really said i really thought, i just thought i was boring. I thought i had nothing unique about my voice. And i was like im sorry i fell asleep. What did you say . Stephen may i ask who didnt who didnt or is that too sensitive . Melissa owen wilson ive been doing a long time. I sound like him because of the years. Stephen its talk after a while . Melissa i did approach them and i said owen, lets do the oh ones together and he got sensitive. That is so all in. He was like no, i thought about it. I feel like people are tired. People are tired of owning and the videos. I was like im not tired. I need this. [applause] stephen in six years, thats quite an achievement. I worked for snl for one month. I was so exhausted i thought i would die. When do you know its time to move on . Melissa i just felt it. I felt like i couldnt do another year. I think it was just, i just listened to myself. It was getting a lot. Stephen you know how i knew what it is time for me to move on . Melissa how . Through and they said no, i wont hire you. Melissa oh, no. Stephen i am not jealous of you at all. This isnt awkward in any way at all. Youve also done a lot of art. Have you always done it or is this a new thing . Melissa in high school when i was a little punk i was doodling on the corners of paper. But these days its been flowing out of me. I just listen. Stephen skeletons and a campfire, sing along. Its beautiful. They are dead but they are still having fun. Its hopeful. Melissa it is. All that matters is the gathering and laughing. Thats all that matters. Stephen dead or alive. [applause] melissa the stars are the ones that passed that are still joining. Its a deep one, guys. They are deep. Stephen i already have this book. I like this book. Its called whoops. Im awesome. Just curious where that title came from. Melissa it feels cool to say. Oh, whoops. I guess i am awesome. Its a cool delivery. Stephen are you doing any singing these days customers melissa yeah, ive got a new Company Songs ive been sharing on stage. Stephen would you share one with us . Melissa yeah. I planned it. Going to get my friend louis over here to join me. This song i wrote. I sing it in the folky girl voice that we all here in the fall. tis the season. The girls are like you broke my heart. What am i supposed to do . And youre like, youre going to be fine. Youre high. Im going to sing it like one of those chicks. I will sing like one of those ladies. I wrote it about how i take these corny solo trips by myself to reconnect with my creativity and nature. Ive gone to the wood several times and every single time i get there and im mad. Im like, why did i do this . This sucks. Im alone. There is no service. Its scary. So the song is called solo trip. Ill give you a little sneak peek. All right. I got to get away from the city the noise and the traffic lights make me dizzy im such a fragile girl, you see got to be with the earth and the trees ive got a key to an airbnb i see big giant love stains all over the sheets not a soul in sight no one to call for help at night but soon i realize ill probably be ill probably be murdered tonight oh murdered tonight no [laughs] [cheers and applause] stephen melissa, thank you. So lovely. Melissa villasenor, everybody. Well be right back. Oppers time to win is running out in our prize packed kick off the savings Monopoly Game hurry in to play for your chance at over 25 million in prizes and money saving offers like this, and this, or even this. Plus, you still have a shot at up to 100,000 in guaranteed prize money. Stop in while you can still win and shop your Favorite Brands sporting the kick off the savings monopoly tag for unlimited bonus game tickets at lucky stephen thats it for the late show tune in tomorrow my guest will be john mulaney. Good night